Dear, new diary,
I'm so excited to write things here since morning! This notebook I bought online looks majestic and it's been so long since I wrote records of this damn life I have. I'll be calling you Violet from now on. I'm so so glad! Even though my day's ruined..
I went to school running cuz I was about to be late for flag ceremony. They said today is the day for some sorting program and we were told to be early. I arrived at 6:59!! I was relieved that I made it on time, but when I approached my two childhood friends, they gave me weird looks.
They were standing in line, I tried squeezing in. We chatted only to found out that the sorting program is not yet held today.
Son of a Harry Potter.
My friend whose (nick)name is "Boy Loco" teased me, saying I'm aging because of how forgetful I am. I might have forgotten to check our class group chat that the program's moved, but at least I have some concerned best friends by my side that are acting as my notifications instead.
My other friend, Cat, shoved her phone right on my face to show me the conversation in the group chat last night.
What even is the purpose of this sorting program?
Firstly, Peñalosa National High School is a public institution. Secondly, there are a LOT of students, we are over 8000+ because of how large our campus is. Lastly, are we in Hogwarts for us to be "sorted" in some houses?
Now there are two things that ruined my day. I spilled a bit of coffee on my long skirt, good thing it's not that visible. Next, I almost tear my limbs running really fast because I was almost late only to find out that the program is not actually today.
I asked myself: Can my day get any worse?
And that was immediately answered.
"Leela Sarmiento?" a student who wore an SSG (Supreme Student Government)[1] uniform approached us. I knew immediately what organization she's from based on the color of the polo shirt. My two besties and our other classmates worriedly looked at me when I followed the student officer. I gave the two a small nod. As usual, I'm seeing myself in front of our organization adviser's desk again. On the desks are published writings that I'm not familiar with
For 2 years, I dedicated myself in "The Seashore", the Filipino campus news team here. There is another news team here who uses the English language, they are called "The Gulf View". I joined the Filipino one because I'm more used to my own language. There are times I got apprehended for "plagiarizing" works. When it was my first year and a half in the org, their feedbacks were good.
The wind suddenly changed its course, they started accusing me of something I have never done.
Now that I mentioned it, we have a member whose expertise is news writing. He got kicked out from us because he was accused of something. He desperately begged, even tried to talk it out to prove he wasn't lying but in the end, he got kicked out!
"Ms. Sarmiento, this is alarming. You have been warned many times, yet you didn't change at all. The school's reputation depends here as well, if it's the national news you are working for right now then you would've misinformed the whole country."
I, myself, admit that I'm an extremely forgetful person but I would NEVER forget how wronged I am this school year. I also remember my writing style. I tried. I tried explaining myself. But he wouldn't buy it. My fellow members wouldn't buy it.
I felt betrayed.
Maybe... they're tired of me explaining myself every time. This is not how I work, everyone knew that. The editor-in-chief always defended me but this time she sealed her lips. I tried looking around to see if someone believed in me, they only looked away.
In the end? Of course, I got kicked out.
The moment there, I stood in silence. Staring at the "evidences" from who-knows-where. I heard a voice talking to the advisor but nothing mattered that time. I just stood there. Everything registered to me hours after what happened.
Oh no, the other parts of this page smudged a bit. Sorry, Violet, I couldn't hold back my tears.
It doesn't hurt, not at all.
I was absent-minded the whole day. Sitting on a class felt heavier, knowing that my reputation as a student journalist went downhill. The sole purpose of my membership in that organization is to enhance my skills in writing and learn how to deliver messages.
But that organization's home to me. Everyone's my family there.
I might be overreacting to others' eyes, but I feel really empty. So empty to the fact that I wouldn't mind being run over by a truck. I just lost a part of me, and I don't think I will be able to bring it back.
My unfortunates this day:
-Coffee spill, -Ran towards the entrance almost breaking my bones, -Got kicked out of The Seashore, -No one defended me, -Someone caught my teary eyes in the washroom.
This is all for tonight's entry. I don't think I will able to write further. Sadness aside, I kinda feel that someone's watching me. Why the hell is there a black figure outside my window?
May God have mercy on me tomorrow. (and tonight).
Shivering,
Leela.
[1] They're the student officers in Philippine schools, particularly, the student council.