✦ Chapter 16 ✦
Elian lay awake long after night had settled, the darkness pressing close like a second skin. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, a restless habit born of fear rather than thought. The room was silent save for his uneven breathing.
It was already the second night.
Which meant the drug would soon fade.
He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, thoughts circling until they tightened into a dull ache behind his eyes. Every hour that passed felt heavier than the last, as though something unseen were slowly lowering its weight upon his chest.
It was too much.
He had known fear before, but never like this—never so constant, so suffocating. It was a burden too large to carry, one that left his arms trembling even when he did nothing at all. Exhaustion seeped into his bones, quiet and relentless, until even breathing felt like effort.
Sometimes, in moments like this, his thoughts strayed somewhere dangerous.
To the idea of rest.
To the thought that if he crossed to the other side, the ache might finally loosen its grip.
There, perhaps, he would find peace.
There, he might see his father again.
But the moment the thought took root, something stirred violently within him.
A face rose behind his closed eyes—unbidden, unwanted.
His mother's gaze, wide and blue with terror, burned into his memory as clearly as the day it had happened. He saw her hands trembling as she watched her mate fall. He saw the dark spill of blood at his father's throat, the way it stained his clothes, the way it would not stop.
The memory surged forward, sharp and merciless.
Too vivid.
And as always, grief twisted cruelly, dragging happier moments in its wake. He remembered lying against his father's chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart as he complained about a life that had once been simple. He remembered his mother's warmth—her arms, her kisses pressed into his hair as though they might shield him from the world.
For a moment, he felt them.
The echo of their warmth lingered on his skin, so real it made his chest ache.
The contrast broke him.
Tears spilled unchecked, his breath hitching as a fragile sob slipped past his lips. He pressed a hand over his mouth, as though that might contain the sound, but grief was not something easily silenced.
He missed them.
More than he could bear.
Why had it not been him instead?
The question tore through him, and his chest tightened painfully. His fingers clenched into the fabric of his robe as his body shook, sobs rising louder despite his efforts.
Then—
Something brushed against his arm.
The sensation was light, almost ticklish, like dozens of tiny feet skimming his skin. He startled, blinking through tears as he lifted his head.
Crimson butterflies filled the room.
Some settled delicately along his arm; others hovered in the air, their wings catching the dim light. They looked as though they were fashioned from glass—fragile, translucent, and stained red like spilled wine. Their beauty stole the breath from his lungs.
A sudden flare of light burst between them. Elian shielded his eyes instinctively, heart pounding. When the brightness faded, he lowered his arm slowly.
Esper sat beside him on the bed.
His dark hair spilled over his shoulders, his expression drawn tight with concern.
"Why are you crying, little one?" Esper asked softly.
His fingers brushed Elian's cheeks, wiping away tears with a touch so careful it felt as though Elian might shatter beneath it. The coolness of his skin sent a shiver through him.
"I told you," Esper murmured, a faint smile tugging at his lips, "I don't like seeing you cry."
Elian's bottom lip trembled. His violet eyes welled again.
At the sight, Esper sighed and opened his arms. "Come here."
Elian hesitated only a moment. Then—something unbearable twisted in his chest. For a heartbeat, Esper's face overlapped with another in his mind. His mother's.
He moved without thinking, burying himself against Esper's chest, fingers clutching tightly as tears streamed anew. Esper's hand rested between his shoulders, steady and silent.
Time blurred. Seconds stretched into minutes.
"Did you come because the powder is wearing off?" Elian asked at last, his voice thick with sniffles.
Esper hummed softly. When Elian looked up, their eyes met.
"Yes," Esper said quietly. Then he exhaled. "But I cannot give you the suppressants anymore."
The words struck like a blade.
"What?" Elian whispered.
Esper wiped another tear from his cheek. "The more you take them, the more damage they do. Your gland cannot endure it forever. You are forcing your body into harm."
Elian shook his head violently. "I don't care. Please—if you don't—"
His voice broke. He clutched Esper's robes, sobbing openly now.
Without the powder, he would die.
Just like the omega he had seen in chains.
The image shattered him completely.
"Elian," Esper murmured, lifting his chin gently. "Look at me."
He did.
"You will not die," Esper said firmly.
Elian let out a broken laugh. "You're lying."
"Come with me," Esper said instead. "I won't let anyone touch you."
The room seemed to still.
Why was he kind?
Why did it feel like the walls Elian had built so carefully were crumbling at his feet?
Kindness was terrifying.
It always demanded a price.
Slowly, Elian pulled away, lowering his gaze. "I can't accept that."
Esper rose and moved to the window. The wind caught his long black hair, lifting it like shadowed silk.
"I won't force you," he said. "But if your life is threatened, I will take you."
Elian's breath caught.
"I can't," he whispered.
Esper's lips curved—not quite a smile. Something sharper. "I'm not asking," he said softly. "You owe me."
Fear crept coldly up Elian's spine.
"And I collect debts," Esper continued, glancing back over his shoulder. "If someone discovers what you are—and they will—you already know what I'll do."
"Es—"
Esper dissolved into crimson butterflies before his name could leave Elian's lips, scattering into the night.
The room fell silent once more.
Elian pressed a hand to his stomach, unease coiling tightly within him.
Somewhere deep inside, he knew—
Whatever Esper was,
he was no longer free of him.
---
✦ End Of Chapter ✦