Chapter 42: The Group Chat and the Cat Mascots.
The shutters of the Chill Vibes Agency were pulled down, locking out the night. The only light in the shop came from a flickering fluorescent bulb hanging above the small employee break table in the back room.
On the table sat the universal symbol of a long workday: two greasy cardboard boxes containing pepperoni pizzas and a couple of sweating cans of generic cola.
Tadashi—the Banana Hero—was no longer yellow. He had peeled off the spandex suit and removed the heavy cone helmet. Underneath, he was a shockingly average man in his mid-thirties. He had messy, flat brown hair that looked like it hadn't seen a comb in days, and tired, drooping brown eyes framed by dark circles. He wore a faded gray t-shirt that read "Vanilla Life" in English.
He slumped over his pizza slice, looking like a soldier who had just returned from the front lines.
"I can't feel my legs," Tadashi groaned, taking a sip of cola. "I didn't know scooping ice cream was an endurance sport."
Aokiji sat opposite him, looking fresh and unbothered, picking a mushroom off his pizza slice with surgical precision.
"What were the final numbers?" Aokiji asked casually.
Tadashi pulled a crumpled receipt form from his pocket. He squinted at it.
"I processed 1,300 orders," he recited, his voice trembling slightly. "And I had to turn away... 6,021 people after the machines overheated and I ran out of milk, cones, and sanity."
Aokiji whistled low. "Not bad for a single hand."
"Will they come back?" Tadashi asked, looking terrified. "The hype usually dies down, right?"
"They said they wanted samples," Aokiji pointed out, biting into the crust. "And tomorrow is Wednesday. Isn't that your 'Free Sample Day' for elementary kids? If over six thousand people show up... well, the local kids won't even be able to see the door, let alone get in."
Tadashi put his head in his hands, massaging his temples. "What am I going to do? I'm one man! I can't handle a stampede!"
"I think it's time you expanded," Aokiji said, scrolling through his phone with his thumb. "You need staff. Actual employees. Sidekicks."
"How?" Tadashi lamented. "I don't have an HR department! I don't know where to look on such short notice!"
Aokiji looked at him, deadpan. "It's the internet age, old man. There are apps for gig workers. Temp agencies for heroes. If you try, you can find someone by morning."
"You're right..." Tadashi muttered, a spark of hope returning to his eyes. "I have to evolve. I have to adapt!"
Aokiji smirked internally. Excellent.
His motivation wasn't entirely altruistic. In fact, it was purely selfish. If Tadashi hired staff, Aokiji wouldn't have to lift a finger. He could spend the rest of the week chilling, get his evaluation form signed on Sunday, and return to U.A. having done the absolute bare minimum while receiving maximum credit.
"Well," Aokiji stood up, wiping crumbs from his white waistcoat. "Good luck with the hiring process. I'm going to sleep. Don't wake me up unless the building is literally on fire."
He left the exhausted shop owner muttering about "job postings" and headed up the creaky stairs.
Aokiji collapsed onto the futon in the spare room. The window was open, letting in the cool sea breeze and the sound of distant waves.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket. The screen lit up, blinding him for a second.
Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt.
His notification bar was exploding. The Class 1-A Group Chat had over 300 unread messages.
Aokiji sighed and tapped the icon.
[Chargebolt (Kaminari)]:Yo!! How is everyone surviving? My internship is literally just cleaning up trash in a park. This sucks.
[Cellophane (Sero)]:At least you're outside. Death Arms is making me do squats until I puke.
[Deku (Midoriya)]:I'm with Gran Torino! It's... intense. He's really fast. I'm learning a lot about movement!
[Pinky (Mina)]:Boring! Show us the action! Also, Kuzan! You've been quiet. What is the "Monster of Class 1-A" doing? Fighting villains?
Aokiji tapped out a reply with one thumb.
[Kuzan]:I learned how to put soft-serve into a cone without it tipping over.
[Red Riot (Kirishima)]:...What? That's manly?
[Earphone Jack (Jiro)]:LOL.
[Pinky (Mina)]:Speaking of funny, look what I have!
[Image Sent]
Aokiji enlarged the photo. It was a high-quality shot taken in the sports festival. It showed Bakugo, his face twisted in pure, unbridled rage, frozen from the neck down inside a massive, beautiful flower.
[Pinky (Mina)]: HAHAHAHAHA!
[Cellophane (Sero)]: This From the Festival Lol!! HAHAHA!
[Chargebolt (Kaminari)]: Finally someone made bakugo chill down!
[Iida]: While this is amusing, we should respect our classmate's dignity...
[Uravity (Uraraka)]: 😂😂😂
The laugh emojis flooded the chat, pushing the image up.
[Bakugo]:I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, PINK LIZARD!!! DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL BLAST YOU TO ASHES FROM YOUR PHONE!!!
[Kuzan]: Bruh I can hear his screams in my ears..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
[Creati (Yaoyorozu)]:Please stop fighting. By the way, Kuzan-san, I was surprised by your choice. A Rank 4000 Hero? Was there a strategic reason? Kendo-san and I are currently just filming shampoo commercials because of our hair. It feels... unproductive.
[Kuzan]:The town is nice. The weather is good. It's peaceful.
[Grape Juice (Mineta)]:He's slacking off! He's definitely slacking off! Cheater!
[Cellophane (Sero)]:Actually, I don't think he's slacking. Check this out. It's trending on Twitter right now.
[Link Sent: "Golden Snow Miracle in Kamakura!"]
Aokiji watched the view count tick up in real-time.
[Pinky (Mina)]: WOAH! Is that snow made of cream?!
[Deku (Midoriya)]: Amazing control! He's freezing the liquid particles individually to create a non-solid precipitation while maintaining the integrity of the dairy fat! This requires incredible precision!
[Chargebolt (Kaminari)]: Dude, you're surfing on ice in the sky with a Banana Man. You are living a dream.
Aokiji smiled faintly at the screen. He typed: Do your best guys.
He turned the phone off and tossed it onto the tatami mat.
He stared up at the dark ceiling. Through the window, he could see a patch of the night sky, dotted with stars.
For a moment, the silence was heavy.
No All For One. No Pyre. No father demanding he become a masterpiece. Just teenage banter and the sound of the ocean.
"Peaceful," he whispered.
His eyes grew heavy, and he drifted into a dreamless sleep, ignoring the war that was waiting for him just over the horizon.
The Next Morning
Rumble. Chatter. Honk.
Aokiji woke up to the sound of a dull roar.
He sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. His hair was a mess of black spikes. He realized he hadn't even taken off his hero suit; his white waistcoat was wrinkled, and his tie was undone.
"Noisy..." he grumbled.
He slid his feet into his white boots and walked out of the room. He could hear voices—loud, excited voices—coming from downstairs and outside.
He descended the stairs, yawning.
When he reached the bottom landing and looked through the glass front of the shop, he stopped.
The street wasn't just busy. It was a carnival.
The crowd was twice the size of yesterday. But that wasn't the weird part.
Standing in front of the soft-serve machines, flanking Tadashi (who was back in the banana suit), were three new figures.
They were wearing puffy, oversized mascot costumes. Like the kind you see at cheap amusement parks. They were cats—round, bouncy, and slightly terrifying.
One was White. One was Pink. One was Gray.
Their human faces were visible through mesh screens in the mouths of the giant cat heads.
Tadashi spotted Aokiji through the glass. He waved frantically.
"Oh! Kuzan-kun! You're awake!"
Aokiji slid the door open. The wall of sound hit him instantly.
"It looks... lively," Aokiji noted, eyeing the giant cats.
"Today, everything is under control!" Tadashi declared, his voice booming with confidence. "I took your advice! I called the 'Heroes for Hire' temp agency at 3 AM! Behold, the Haruma Cat Squad!"
He turned to the mascots. "Show him the motto, guys!"
The three cats and the banana fell into a formation that looked like a reject Power Rangers pose. They threw their hands up in the air.
"PLUS CREAMA!!!"
Click-click-click-click!
The crowd of tourists screamed with delight. Cameras flashed.
"So cute!"
"Look at the cats!"
"I want a photo with the Banana!"
Aokiji stood in the doorway, blinking slowly.
"Seriously?" he muttered to himself. "They like this?"
He watched as the Haruma Cats efficiently managed the lines, handing out sample cups and entertaining the children. Tadashi looked like a general commanding his fluffy troops.
"Good job," Aokiji commented. "They seem like a solid addition to your future enterprise."
"Right?" Tadashi beamed. "Now, grab a scoop! We have thousands to serve!"
Aokiji looked at the crowd. He looked at the ice cream. Then he looked at the open road beyond the crush of bodies.
"Yeah, about that," Aokiji said.
He took a step forward. The crowd was packed tight, a wall of flesh and cameras blocking his path.
Aokiji didn't push. He didn't shove.
He sighed.
"Icy Mist."
His body didn't shatter. It simply dissolved. The solid lines of his white suit and his physical form sublimated into a thick, swirling cloud of chilled blue vapor.
The mist drifted through the gaps in the crowd. It flowed between people's legs, over their shoulders, cool and refreshing against their sun-warmed skin.
"Whoa! What was that?"
"Was that a ghost?"
"It's cold!"
"Did you see that? He turned into fog!"
The mist coalesced on the sidewalk ten meters away, away from the crush. It swirled and hardened, reforming instantly into the tall, solid figure of Aokiji Kuzan.
He adjusted his collar, ignoring the gasps and cheers erupting behind him.
"Right," he murmured, his stomach growling. "Time for a Breakfast.."
He began to walk down the street, hands in his pockets, leaving the chaos of the Chill Vibes Agency behind him.
Bzzt.
His phone rang.
He pulled it out. The caller ID showed a picture of a very young Sayuri—maybe six years old—missing a front tooth and holding a snowball.
Aokiji smiled faintly and answered.
"Good morning, Sayuri."
"Hah?" Her voice crackled through the speaker, sharp and amused. "What morning? It's noon, Big Brother."
Aokiji stopped. He tilted his head back, squinting at the sun which was indeed directly overhead. The heat was baking the asphalt.
"Hmm," Aokiji said. "I guess you're right.."
"I knew it," Sayuri sighed. "I knew you picked this city just so you could be lazy and chill all the week."
"This city? Wait, you mean.."
"Yeah, I'm in your city. I'm sending you the coordinates now. Meet me at this café."
Ping.
A map location popped up on his screen.
Aokiji zoomed out.
"Sayuri," he groaned. "This is forty-five minutes away by car."
"Better hurry then," she said cheerfully. "Don't make a lady wait!"
Click.
She hung up.
Aokiji stared at the phone, "When did she became a lady?"
He looked at the distance on the map. He looked at his own feet.
"Walking is out of the question," he decided.
He walked to the curb and raised a hand as a yellow taxi approached.
The car pulled over. Aokiji slid into the back seat, enjoying the air conditioning.
"Where to?" the driver asked.
Aokiji showed him the phone. "This café."
"Sure, leave it to me!"
As the taxi pulled away, merging into the coastal traffic, Aokiji leaned his head against the glass of the window, watching the ocean blur by.
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