"No!!!"
Trizha ran desperately towards the edge, her eyes continuing to gaze at the falling Nomoro.
She extended her arm and reached out her hand like it would catch him despite the gap in their distance.
"Don't fall!"
She could see him smile, she could see him mutter a few words, she could hear him say…
I thank you.
Those were the words enough to shock her to the core.
It was the heartbreaking words she never knew would hit her like a thousand swords stabbing through her body.
She never knew the reason behind those words, but her memories would say… otherwise.
She has met Nomoro, and she met Narasao nine years ago.
She just forgot about it.
She forgot about him, always eyes on the lie.
The world was slow, and so was she.
She thought she could ever reach him, like how she always did with the rest.
But this time… it didn't reach.
She failed to reach out… to Nomoro Ketatsuki.
And alas, she watched him fall down to the tower, stopping by the rail, looking down at the man in front of her eyes… marched to death.
And the same was for Nomoro—he watched her stop in order to live.
I watched her stand there, alive.
And that was the very moment that Iknew that I had fulfilled it all.
I smiled once more, and tears flew out of my eyes.
Those tears flew up instead of down, and they shine and glow from the bustling light all around me.
And because of that colorful light, my tears… It looked like fireworks.
And those fireworks, it surrounds me like rain going up.
I thought that maybe, maybe… These are fireworks.
But I was fooled.
These are just tears of my own, and I haven't realized just how much I cried right now.
I cried too much, and now it is like water is hovering around my body like fireworks.
I like fireworks.
But I just… I haven't found it amusing.
They feel just plain, just usual, as if I've seen it all happen several times, or countless if not.
I don't feel a thing anymore.
And I don't like this feeling.
I'm sure that I used to like these fireworks.
In fact, I loved it.
It was colorful.
Full of… happiness.
And they were together, connected, interconnected.
They weren't lonely.
And at some point, I wanted to be part of it.
And now I do.
But I didn't feel any happiness from it. I don't feel assured.
Fireworks… are something that was supposed to make me happy.
...ah, I know now. Because I'm Nomoro Ketatsuki, not Narasao Tarosono... Narasao liked fireworks, and he always wanted to see one. I don't.
My goal wasn't fireworks, it wasn't what I wanted anymore.
It was Trizha's safety that I wanted.
Was it selfish? No.
It was a mission I filled upon myself.
I guess Narasao would be the one who is going to be amazed by the sight I'm seeing right now.
But why? Why not? Why not me?
Why don't I feel the same way?
We're the same person... I just grew up, and Narasao is just a younger version of me.
...hm, i guess this is what people meant when they say things like 'two sides of the coin', except only the front side is recognized because the back doesn't have the same history, but the background of the front side's history.
In other words, it's the side of the coin that's always seen as unnecessary to others.
That's pretty lonely.
And I don't like it.
Only one side is seen while the other side is forgotten… I don't like that idea.
It's too lonely.
Too isolating.
If I were in a room full of people I know, would I look for Narasao Tarosono first?
In fact, would anyone else be looking for Narasao?
The most logical answer to that is no.
No one knows about this person, anymore.
Except me.
I am known.
People don't like me, and they want me gone.
They will always find me instead of Narasao.
And that is why I don't like the idea of an unnecessary coin side.
And to my answer?
…No, as well.
I stare and stand in that white room, and I see every statue of everyone.
They all stand in specific poses, but they're not what I'm looking for, and if I were to look exactly for him, I wouldn't need to.
Because… he was already here.
I turned around, and looked at who's behind me.
It was Narasao.
He's been here the whole time.
Waiting for me to look at him.
And I am right in front of him, facing me while I face the people I know and don't.
"Who are you, mister?"
I refused to look for him, because he's been looking for me.
And he found me.
Now I want to choose him.
But why would I choose him though?
Why would the man who was born by being named... choose the Demon of Nine Years Ago?
That's what anyone else would ask.
To them, he is just a demon.
But to me, he's just a child who wants to see fireworks.
"...I am… N-nomoro Ketatsuki," I anxiously said.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"What do you mean?"
"You look like me. Just older."
I fidgeted my hand silently, hiding my nervousness from this kid. I was anxious.
"Who are you?" Narasao asked once more.
At this moment, I almost said my name again.
It would be strange if I did.
"...I'm your uncle."
When I said those words, Narasao's eyes widened and he smiled widely.
"Really??"
"Yes."
"But… but papa said that you were gone! He said that you live in the cemetery now!"
"...Am I? Haha…"
No wonder uncle was gone.
He was dead.
Seems like my father only mentioned the cemetery, but never mentioned death itself.
"I have work in the sea. That's why you haven't seen me."
Without thinking about it, I unconsciously patted Narasao's head like I really am an uncle.
But the sound of that… was mesmerising.
"Hehe! Okay! You're forgiven!!"
Oh. That's right. I never once forgave my uncle for leaving us. I cried a lot that one time.
And it was… depressing.
Seeing this happening before my eyes, I couldn't help but smile.
He then took my hand gently and giggled.
"My mama and papa are going to bring me to my first day of school!"
"That's… That's great."
"They said they will have fireworks in it for me! I want you to come see it with us, uncle!!"
I felt uneasy.
Looking back, I remembered a lot of that one day when it all happened, when it all began.
Those fireworks he mentioned, they never were fireworks to begin with.
But I kept my smile and I held his hand just as he held mine.
I hid what I knew, and I followed him to where he would lead me, even if it were a location where he would meet the end.
Fireworks are no longer something I want to see anymore, but if someone I know wants to, then I'll join them for it.
I'll even search for them if they don't know where to go, but if i dont know where to go, then that means that I haven't found myself yet.
That is why I'd choose to look for myself first, not as Nomoro me, but as Narasao me, otherwise I'd be lost on the road.
I can't search for something if I can't even search for myself.
In a world like this, you're on your own. And without you, where would you be but alone?
"Where to go?"
"There!" He said excitedly.
Our footsteps were as soft and as silent as stepping into foam.
It was comforting.
And we could hear mumbles coming from nearby.
My heart was racing, racing fast like I'm about to reach the finish line.
We could hear them as we approached, and we slowed down until we walked towards the goal.
And soon, we found them, and so did they found us.
My family.
Our family.
He let go of my hand and rushed to hug my father, then came my mother who leaned in, and my sister who lightly punched his forearm playfully for being gone for a while.
I smiled at the scenery, and I slowly realized that perhaps Narasao would soon realize that I'm not his uncle because his family wouldn't recognize me.
I looked closer, almost narrowing my eyes.
And to my surprise, their eyes were still closed, all except Narasao himself.
They never open, they never blink.
Just closed.
My smile almost faded.
This was that day, after all.
The day they close their eyes.
And I almost closed mine a few days after that.
I thought I could join them that time, but then, I met her.
Trizha.
And when, and after, I met her, I swore to myself… that I wouldn't ever let anyone else close their eyes alone.
…at least, excluding myself.
Everyone, at some point, will close their eyes.
And it will happen with them experiencing it alone.
And I don't want that.
No one… should be closing their eyes alone.
And I will do it… by making sure... that no one is alone enough to feel like no one is watching over them as they close their eyes.
Suddenly, Narasao looked back and waved at me, smiling widely.
Brightly.
And as he does so, he slowly closes his eyes.
His eyes… are finally closing as well, just like the others. Just like… just what I thought I would end up to.
And suddenly, I felt something wet.
I lifted my right arm, and it was literally covered in water.
That water then spreaded, up to my chest, down to my legs, until it reached my neck.
I was reaching the very limit of my life, and I'm sad.
I could have joined Narasao and our family to see… the fireworks he mentioned about.
I want to see it too… I want… I-i… I just want to see how colorful it is.
Not the firearms.
Not the gunshots.
But the real fireworks.
Fireworks… that should've made me love.
I could have… I should have joined… wait.
No.
Actually, I've already joined them.
I just didn't realize it.
I looked forward once more, and looked at me yet again.
Narasao.
I saw myself — I'm right there.
Waving at me.
Smiling at me.
Grateful that he… that we… are leaving to see the fireworks.
If he's grateful, then so am I.
*sighs*
…People die.
People close their eyes.
And it happens alone.
It always does.
That's what everyone says.
That's what science would say.
That's what any religion would say, no matter the culture.
But me…?
I don't.
I don't feel alone at all.
In fact, I feel… more relieved than ever.
I feel like I could rest right now.
I can sleep nicely now.
I can do anything I want now, without anyone to step over my face… and call me names I am not.
In peace.
I am named.
I am Nomoro Ketatsuki.
And if my death means that she lives, that Trizha lives… then I am glad.
I don't feel any lonelier, because of her.
And I will not die alone. I will not die feeling alone.
At all.
If this is how I die, then I am glad.
I thank you.