Derrick didn't ease up until he had traveled a good distance away from the area.
His grip remained tight on himself, his fingers digging deep into his flesh, and his breathing was quick and uneven. The building, the men in their formal wear, and the calm tone of Don Toscano kept playing in his thoughts like a repeating bad dream.
He was shocked that his parents would put him in this situation.
They had taken him to the Mafia boss in person.
They wanted him to agree with them.
They wanted him to think about joining that type of lifestyle.
He stopped walking at an empty parking area and stayed there for a while, with his forehead touching one of the light stand.
The anger wasn't going away anytime soon, rsther. It was growing, along with sadness, confusion, and frustration all the feelings he wanted to avoid.
By the time he arrived at his place, it was already dark. He took a shower, changed clothes, and tried to clear his mind, but it didn't help. He still felt troubled.
Later that night, he received a call from Sophia.
"Are we still going out tonight?" she asked in a cheerful way. "I already made a booking."
Derrick paused.
The whole thing with his parents had made him forget about the dinner date with Sophia that night and if he was honest with himself, he didn't feel like doing anything, especially pretending to be okay.
But Sophia deserved more than being ignored because of his problems.
So he made his voice sound more steady. "Yes. I'll be ready to go."
When he met her near the restaurant, she quickly noticed that something was wrong. Derrick's smile was weak, his eyes seemed distant, and he had little energy.
But Sophia didn't push him, at least not right away.
She was used to seeing him like this when he usually over thought about the situation, when he tried handling things on his own,
When he didn't want to involve her.
She would always caution him, but he would still return to himself.
They ordered their meals and talked casually about work, her upcoming event, and their wedding plans. Derrick tried his best to act as if everything was normal. But Sophia kept looking at him with a worried look.
Eventually, halfway through the meal, she reached across the table and gently touched his hand.
She couldn't bare to watched anymore.
"Derrick... what's the matter?"
He stopped moving.
He couldn't say anything.
Not what was true.
Not the made-up story he had practiced.
Nothing at all.
He just stared at Sophia, the truth on his lips but far from leaving his mouth, he couldn't just say anything.
Sophia squeezed his fingers. "You're not acting like yourself. Please tell me."
But Derrick slowly shook his head. "I'm okay," he said, trying to sound convincing. "It was just a tiring day, that's all."
He said it as a last minute defense. He avoided her gaze, so as to avoid that piercing look she always gave someone who wasn't willing to open up.
But Sophia always found a way to get him talking,
Sophia didn't believe him. He could tell by looking at her eyes. But she didn't force him to talk. She simply nodded and took her hand back.
Sophia didn't want to push any further, if it was time he needed, then she wouldn't mind giving him time.
The rest of the dinner went by in an awkward silence. Sophia tried to improve the mood by making jokes, but Derrick gave short replies. He kept thinking about Toscano's offer, his parents' hopeful looks, and the uncomfortable mix of betrayal and guilt in his mind.
After they ate, they went for a walk outside. The cool night air should have helped him clear his head, but it didn't. Sophia put her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder.
"You don't need to keep secrets from me," she whispered.
"I'm not keeping anything from you," he said quietly, not telling the truth.
She didn't respond. She didn't argue with him. She just stayed close to him.
Sophia didn't drive to the restaurant, so when they were done, Derrick decided to walk her home.
The walk was a little more of a stroll, a quiet one.
One were all things bothering the mind would be swept away by the cool wind of the evening.
When they finally got to Sophia's house, they stopped and she stayed near the door.
Derrick took a look at the house, like he hadn't seen it before.
It was a small duplex, one Sophia had gotten to stay near Derrick. She had others but chose this.
"You know that you can talk to me, right?" she said softly.
He moved his head slightly, forced a little smile, and said goodnight to her. But as soon as she shut the door, Derrick understood he was not doing well. He was nowhere near okay.
When he arrived at his place, the quietness of his apartment felt overwhelming. He stayed sitting in the dark for a while, looking at the floor, feeling completely burdened by everything.
A piece of him felt incredibly angry.
A piece of him felt emotionally wounded.
A piece of him realized, inside, that his parents were not trying to destroy him they were only trying to keep him safe as best they could.
But the way they went about it…
The people they chose to support…
The risk they let get so near…
It made Derrick feel conflicted.
Between the affection he felt for his mom and dad…
and the reality he had come to know about them.
Between seeing that they gave up things for him…
and disagreeing with what those sacrifices cost.
He was not ready to excuse them.
He wasn't convinced that he ever could.
But as he went to bed later that night, staring at the ceiling, one idea kept repeating in his head
They acted corre
ctly… in the most incorrect manner imaginable.
And just that single idea was enough to keep him awake for much of the night.