He who seeks perfection will lose him/herself in pursuit of it.
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SWOOSH!
Accompanying every strong wind were waves of sand, forcing Liam to keep his head down and his eyes closed as he marched forward.
"As long as I remain on the golden path, I'll be alright," he repeated every second.
Howling sounds, cries, whispers. Distractions came from all directions, each feeling like a rope tied to his waist. Just a moment of weakness, and he was certain he would be swept away by the sandstorm.
"Be your authentic self my foot!" Liam chuckled bitterly.
He had hoped Ruth's advice would be useful.
For several hours, Liam struggled like this. By this point, his joints were already aching from walking for hours. His throat was dry and his breathing was heavy.
He was staggering forward, barely holding onto consciousness…
"If I knew that damn baby would be the end, we would have never had him, Ruby!"
A familiar voice reached Liam's ear, forcing his head to snap to the left in search of the source.
"Lord, I'll kill this boy right now if you can assure me I'll get my Ruby back!"
Liam froze at the sound of the familiar voice and familiar words. Only now did he realize the storm had calmed and, on the surface of the sand to the left, a memory appeared.
The younger him was tucked in a dark corner in his room while his father screamed those words repeatedly with a half-empty bottle of liquor in hand.
Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang!
Instinctively, he flinched at the sound of the man pounding on the door while cursing. A new screen formed on the body of sand, revealing his bolted room door being rammed into like firefighters trying to break into a burning house.
Each deafening collision made him flinch. Even now, after killing this man, the emotions and memories were buried deep in his mind.
"You little demon! Everything got ruined because of you! Open this damn door right now!"
Pa!
"Aaah!"
Liam's attention shifted to another image: his younger self on the ground while his father stomped him repeatedly.
Several more memories began popping up left and right. Each was so immersive Liam wanted to stop and take a look at all of them.
He stood rooted to the spot, his eyes shifting from one image to another while his hands clenched tight.
"You don't have to wait so long. You can end the suffering a lot sooner. Take action," Liam thought, but only for a moment.
Pa!
Sandwiching his face between both palms, Liam shut his eyes tight at the burning pain on his cheeks. The pain cleared his thoughts, driving away the voice in his head.
Why must he change the past when he had a present now?
All that pain and suffering had led him to where he was now, so why should he save himself from it?
"The past made me who I am. It is a part of me!" Liam blurted out to push away the voice, but several more memories came.
Gritting his teeth, he shut his eyes tight and kept walking. Familiar voices and words came from every direction, each threatening to steal his attention, but he bit down on his lower lip and began sprinting forward.
"Don't stop moving. This is not where you can explore," he reminded himself.
The further he went, the more he understood the order in which the memories were arranged. They started from his earliest memory and were progressing toward his recent ones.
From fear and anxiety, Liam slowly regained his calm. He began to appreciate the endless stream of sand, each wave carrying a memory with it.
He stopped running and began viewing every single one of them—reliving them, but moving forward regardless.
"Be your authentic self," Liam muttered again, but with deeper thought.
The memories this place revealed—good or bad—were his. This was the real him. So why should he reject or avoid them?
Liam made sure to bask in each memory, refusing to run away anymore. He watched the fearful younger version of himself tremble under the curses and assault of his father and stepmother. However, as he went further, he began to notice a change.
It began with exhaustion. The younger him eventually grew tired of fearing his parents. At that point, he stayed silent under their strikes and kicks, not uttering a word.
The new him terrified them, and he could see it in their eyes. Each time their eyes met, he noticed them shiver. The absence of his wails had sucked out the fun, so he was abused less—but it was already too late.
Their fear amused him. Realizing people who seemed invincible to him, like his parents, could experience the same fear and terror he always felt amused him deeply.
Finally, Liam found himself standing on a puddle of blood, his body stained with it. The cries of his deceased parents were louder than ever as he experienced those final memories with a small smile.
By the time the memories faded, Liam found himself at the edge of the desert, in front of a small clearing with a campfire and a flowing stream beside it.
Seated beside the fire was an old lady grilling fish. Her entire body was hidden beneath an old dusty cloak.
She gave him a deep look for a minute before returning her attention to the fire.
"Come and have a seat, Ascendant. The night is young…"
Liam was numb—emotionally and physically exhausted from his experience. He was too tired to feel fear or caution toward the lady.
Glancing over his shoulder once, he realized he could either sit with this woman or return to the sandstorm. Considering his current state, he didn't have the strength for another journey.
Letting out a defeated sigh, he approached the campfire and sat on the opposite side, creating some distance between himself and the strange woman.
Watching her closely, Liam's brows narrowed as he noticed the woman had no face. It was just a piece of flesh covering a flat surface—no nose, no mouth.
The two sat in silence while the faceless woman focused on grilling the fish. She handed it to Liam as soon as she was done, and he calmly accepted it.
Under her eyeless gaze, she watched Liam eat without a care in the world. After a few bites, he even reached for the water flask and gulped down its contents without hesitation.
The faceless woman began laughing loudly, but even then Liam didn't speak. He just kept eating, giving her a questioning look.
"As a child who was helpless against his abusive parents, you learned to accept everything as it is. Because of this, you lack survival instinct but feel no fear. I approve. You will make a decent Ascendant," the faceless lady said with a hoarse, deep voice like that of an old man, but Liam wasn't bothered.
He nodded and kept eating, clearly enjoying her praise.
"But I'm curious. Faced with the memories of your crime, there is no guilt or regret. In your mind, you are innocent. You simply won a game your father started, and the price for your victory was his life. You are a twisted anomaly in existence, yet you understand and accept that. If not, you would have been lost in the Boundless Desert."
The Boundless Desert displayed a person's past, allowing one to view and judge as they wished. However, most mortals were not satisfied with this. They attempted to right the wrongs of their past and create a new future they deemed more appropriate than the present.
They denied today in hopes of a better tomorrow… fools.
Only those who understood that a person is the fusion of positive and negative traits and experiences could endure it.
"Understanding one's authentic self is accepting all traits and experiences, negative or positive. Our flaws and imperfections are what give us an identity," Liam said, finally understanding the meaning behind Ruth's tip.
While the old lady had no face, he was almost certain she was smiling. With youthful agility, she crept over to his side of the campfire and grabbed his hand.
"I approve of you. Come—the Tower of Heaven awaits your arrival!"