That night at supper, I tried to avoid my mom's eyes.
"So.. who was that guy that was here earlier?" She asked.
"Kei Tsukashima."
"He's cute."
"Umm. Not really." I say quietly.
We finished supper in silence, and afterwards I ended up lying in my bed. So much had happened in such a short time. A knock on my window sends me flying.
"Kei?" I whisper when I see his face.
He smiles and waves sheepishly.
"Hey, Lyn. How's it going?"
"Come in!" I say I open the window. He slides in and falls onto the floor.
I laugh and fall onto my bed. Kei gets up and lies beside me.
"So."
"So..?"
"Where were we last time?"
I stare at him, dumbfounded.
"Well, you had your hand on my cheek…"
He moves to put his hand on my face.
"Like this?"
I nod.
"Then what?"
"Then I leaned in, right after that, you..."
He smiled.
His head moved closer to mine. I stared into his eyes as our lips met. Both of our eyes flutter shut as I bring my hands to his face. He smies against my lips. Then he pulls away to mutter something.
"Right after that, I almost did this?"
In reply, I press my lips against his. Both of us are smiling. His hand is in my hair, tangled and stuck. His other hand is against my face, smoothing my cheek.
Kei pulls away and starts to laugh. He stops laughing and stares at me.
"Lyn, you're gorgeous."
I stare at him, mouth wide open. He grins and sits up.
"This is crazy."
I sit up too and put my hand on his knee.
"I know."
"Does this change anything?"
"Kei, I really like you, but this is kinda a lot. Maybe this is just a one-time thing."
I look away as I say this. All of me disagrees with what I just said. I want him so bad. And that scares me. Last time I trusted someone, things took a bad turn. I was doing this for both of us.
"You're kidding."
I shake my head.
"Lyn, please say you're kidding."
"Kei, you don't get it. This has happened to me before. It didn't end well. Just go back to hating me. It's what is best."
"No."
"No?"
"Lyn, that isn't how this works."
Frustrated, I stand up and turn my back to Kei. My eyes have begun to water. I can't be this attached. Anyone I get attached to ends up hurt. Kei can't get hurt.
"You don't get it. I'm a walking mess. And…"
"And what? What is so bad that you can't be with me, huh?"
"Just please. I don't want you to get hurt."
"You're hurting me right now."
"I know Kei, I know."
At this point, I'm silently sobbing. Kei sounds like he is crying, too.
"Let's just forget the last two days ever happened, okay? I know you don't want to, but please."
"Okay."
Kei crawls back out of the window and leaves me in silence. I stand where I am for a few seconds before falling into my bed. What had I done? I had done what I had to. The last time something like this happened…
~~~
"Lyn!" The cute brunette yells as he wraps his arms around me.
"Hi, Ha-joon!" I mutter into his arms.
"I missed you, baby."
"I missed you, too."
"Do you want to go for a walk in the woods?"
I smile. He knows me so well.
"Well, of course!"
I take off running towards the path we were about to go walking on. Ha-joon rushes after me, trying to catch up. I stop and wait for my slow boyfriend. That's when it hit.
My breath got tight, it seemed like a board was laid on my chest and a bunch of little men were tap dancing on it, I got nauseous, and felt as if I was going to faint.
"Lyn! Lyn! What's happening?"
I was lying on the floor, gasping for breath that I couldn't get.
"Hello? Yes, I need help. It's my girlfriend. She just collapsed; it seems like she is having a heart attack. Umm.. shortness of breath? Five minutes? Yes, we are in the woods. Thank you so much, please hurry!"
~~~
I had been in and out of the hospital my whole life. As a child, I was born with heart disease and then had my heart fail at the age of 11. It had been after my first heart attack. The one with my ex had been my second heart attack. Ha-joon had gotten so scared that I would die, he ended up breaking up with me. He even had the guts to say that he wanted to date a normal girl. A week later, we moved. And now I'm getting close to Kei. All of this was a mess.
That night had to be the worst I've ever slept. Tossing and turning all night, dreading school coming in the morning.
I woke up, not remembering when I had even fallen asleep. Slowly, I climbed out of my bed and slipped on the boy's uniform. Looking in the mirror, I fix my hair and quickly do my makeup (just lip gloss and mascara), then I run out the door with my bag.
I grab the bus to school and mentally prepare myself for the day. Hopefully, everything will be back to normal.
The first person who talked to me today was Hinata. He bombarded me with millions of questions about where I was yesterday. I made up that I was sick and could not come.
"Have you seen Kei today? I already talked to him, and he seemed messed up." Hinata asks.
I frown.
"What do you mean, messed up?"
"Oh, you know, acting all sad and moody, not saying anything to anyone. That sort of stuff."
"There you are, shorty." The devil says behind me.
"Kei!" Hinata yells.
"In the flesh." Kei adds an eyeroll.
"You seem better!"
I stay quiet and try to slowly back away from the two.
"Lyn, where are you going?" Kei asks, smirking with an evil glint in his eyes.
"Umm, I was going to head to class."
"I'll go with you."
I nod and turn as Kei follows me.
"So, this is how it's gonna be?"
"What do you mean? Did you already forget? The last two days never happened. Just forget about me. I am already done being the manager for volleyball, so you don't have to deal with me as much."
Kei stares at me with his mouth gaping.
"You're kidding."
"Nope."
"Well, then, by all means, I have no idea who you are, Lyn Rose. Have a great rest of your life."