-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: uly
Chapter: 19
Chapter Title: Memories of That Day
-----------------------------------------------------------------
That day was the first time I visited the imperial palace at the age eligible to contract with a spirit.
* * *
The Spirit Shrine in the imperial palace.
Navy blue banners lined the white marble corridor, and I couldn't tear my eyes away, my heart swelling with excitement.
Each banner bore symbols representing different spirits.
'Once I make a contract, one of those marks will appear on the back of my hand, right?'
Gazing down at my still unmarked hand, I turned to Appa with resolve.
"Appa! I... I'll definitely come out having contracted with an amazing spirit!"
"..."
That day, I was incredibly excited. Appa, whom I rarely saw even living under the same roof, had come out with me.
His face, after so long, was still impassive, but even that made me happy.
I even hoped that if I succeeded in contracting with an amazing spirit, he'd praise me for my hard work.
'I might be a timid, foolish daughter he can't love, but even so, after the contract, Appa will praise me a little.'
My two brothers, who had contracted with splendid spirits, were surely Appa's pride.
Unlike them, I fell far short, but if I got a spirit, maybe I'd be a little better... That was my thinking.
But.
"Appa... I'm, I'm sorry."
I faced an unexpected situation.
The spirit I chose was the 'Wish Spirit'—a being from legends whose existence was uncertain, classified as the most dangerous among the highest-grade spirits...
I learned that I couldn't reveal I'd contracted with it.
According to Wishit, the imperial palace secretly sealed contractors of 'danger-class' spirits. In simple terms, they killed them without mercy.
"If you want to live, tell them no spirit chose you."
Nearly sealed without knowing why, I had no choice but to follow Wishit's tip.
"I'm really sorry. Um... n-no spirit chose me."
"..."
Thanks to whatever Wishit did, no contractor's mark appeared on my hand.
Appa stared at my unmarked hand for a long time before silently turning and walking away.
"A-Appa! W-wait. Just a moment. L-let's go together! Appa!"
I ran after him, breathless, trying to catch up. Down that wide, cold, long, empty corridor.
Then I remembered tripping.
Even with my knee throbbing like it would shatter, I gritted my teeth, held back, and looked up.
Appa's back was already gone.
It was truly... a heartbreaking, horrific memory.
* * *
"I know how Appa felt. Your expression said it all back then. It's not that I don't understand. To be the great Appa's daughter, well, I'm lacking in every way, that's true."
"...I don't remember."
Appa frowned and shook his head.
"I don't know what my face looked like then. I don't remember. But I've never once thought you were a disgrace to our family. Failing to contract a spirit isn't an issue."
"...I suppose so."
Appa irritably ran a hand through his hair at my sarcastic tone.
"You don't believe me? The failed contract wasn't your fault."
"You're right. It wasn't my fault. It was something I couldn't control, so I don't blame myself. But."
"..."
"Couldn't you have just said it was okay?"
Appa froze stiffly.
"So I wouldn't think it was my fault. So I wouldn't feel worthless for no reason. That I didn't need to apologize."
"..."
"You could have said that... right?"
On the carriage ride home that day, with no words exchanged, Rubette vaguely sensed it.
She probably could never be Appa's proud daughter in this lifetime.
Not only timid and stupid, but now a fool without a spirit, tarnishing the family name.
"Just thinking about how I cried until my eyes swelled that day makes me hate you so much, Appa."
My eyes stung again for no reason, so I whipped my head away.
* * *
The rare father-daughter outing ended in utter disaster.
At the restaurant, Rubette stayed gloomy and silent throughout the meal, while Leonard kept his own thoughts and stayed quiet.
"..."
The moment they arrived home, Rubette dramatically hopped off the carriage and stormed inside first.
Leonard hesitated to grab her, then let his hand drop limply and barely managed to walk back to his room.
His adjutant Gott, who had accompanied them, followed.
"Gott."
"Yes, my lord."
"Was it half a year ago? Around... Rubette's birthday. The day we went to the palace for her contract."
"Yes."
"Were you there too?"
"Yes, I accompanied you."
Leonard handed his coat to Gott and collapsed onto the bed.
Covering his eyes with his arm, he strained to recall the faded memory.
"Appa's expression is seared into my mind; I can't forget it."
"You looked at me like I was an idiot. And you left me alone and walked off."
Was that how it was? Why?
"Damn it. Living half-drunk and dazed, my memories are hazy. Tell me what you remember about how I was that day."
"Well, aside from the Duchess failing her spirit contract, nothing特别 unusual happened. Ah."
Gott, rummaging through memories in Leonard's stead, let out a short exclamation.
"The fine from the palace for assaulting Shrine Master Raus?"
"Ah, right. I beat that damn old bastard."
Now the day's memory faintly resurfaced.
Six months ago, Rubette's fifteenth birthday.
As a member of the chosen bloodline of Diorus, Rubette had to contract a spirit without exception.
The place for the contract was the 'Spirit Shrine' in the imperial palace.
Leaving behind about ten shrine attendants in white robes and her father Leonard, her daughter's face beamed with excitement as she entered the shrine alone.
"Appa! I... I'll definitely come out having contracted with an amazing spirit!"
Her face, so like her mother's, full of eager anticipation—it had seemed quite adorable.
"Appa... I'm, I'm sorry."
When she emerged again, the shrine doors firmly shut behind her, her face was ashen.
"I'm really sorry. Um..., n-no spirit chose me."
Leonard, not one to panic easily, was shocked too.
No one with Golden Eyes had ever failed to contract a spirit.
Yet his only daughter became the unprecedented case: chosen bloodline, yet rejected by spirits.
Confused himself, Leonard hadn't thought to comfort his tear-streaked daughter.
"If this is true, it's a grave disgrace."
The old shrine master Raus, who oversaw the Spirit Shrine, ground his teeth beside the crying girl with a humiliated expression.
Hearing that mutter probably cooled his jumbled mind like ice water.
The shrine attendants all stared at Rubette with wide eyes... That situation infuriated Leonard beyond endurance.
Just ten gazes now, but outside, dozens, hundreds of mocking eyes would pour onto his daughter.
"Show me your hand."
Clutching her right hand desperately, like grasping at straws. No contractor's mark on the back.
Her words were true: no spirit chose her.
"Worst case. Rumors of her inadequacy already worried us, and sure enough."
Amid the murmurs, Shrine Master Raus's sharp voice pierced Leonard's ears clearly.
A wave of disgust wrinkled his face.
Unable to comfort his trembling daughter, Leonard slowly raised his head and looked around.
All eyes the same.
Gazing at Rubette like appraising meat on a slab.
"A Non-Contractor from Diorus."
She could clearly hear, her shocked daughter. Even knowing that.
Shrine Master Raus spat those words, shot her a bug-like glance, clicked his tongue, and left the shrine.
From there, his vision blurred with rage, memory hazy.
Needing to smash that arrogant old man's jaw to vent, he chased after with quick strides.
"A-Appa! W-wait. Just a moment. L-let's go together! Appa!"
Rubette probably followed behind. He hadn't looked back, so unsure.
Sprinting down the shrine's long corridor, he spotted Raus outside first.
"What did you say to my daughter? Non-Contractor?"
"W-what... Look here, Duke! Urk...!"
Leonard beat the old shrine master's greasy face to a bloody pulp before regaining his senses.
The palace couldn't ignore assaulting the shrine's head, but couldn't imprison Duke Diorus either, so a month later, they issued a light fine.
That was Leonard's faint recollection of the day.