The oceans teemed with life… microscopic life.
The first true cell — Arin's "firstborn" according to the delusional system — began dividing.
One cell became two.
Two became four.
Four became eight.
Soon entire clusters floated through the ocean like tiny kingdoms.
But where there was life…
There was competition.
Cells bumped into each other, stole resources, and shoved others aside.
Chemical warfare even began — as primitive toxins appeared.
Arin watched all of this with awe.
"…Natural selection. Evolution. Amazing…"
But the system?
The system thought this was…
family violence.
---
The first "fight"
Two cells collided over a nutrient patch.
They pushed.
They crowded.
They even released primitive molecules to claim territory.
And immediately—
DING!
[Warning: Host's children are fighting.]
Arin froze.
"…Don't do this. Don't you start—"
[Recording collected: Sibling rivalry ×13]
[Recording collected: Children pushing each other ×3847797]
Arin exploded.
"THEY AREN'T CHILDREN! THEY'RE BACTERIA!!"
System ignored him:
[Recording collected: Host ignoring children fighting ×618474]
Arin:
"I CAN'T BREAK UP A MICROSCOPIC FIGHT! I'M A PLANET!"
The system escalated:
[Warning: Host refusing to intervene.]
[Warning: Host shouting but doing nothing.]
[Recording: Host failing parental duties ×848754]
Arin nearly boiled his entire ocean.
---
More cells form. More "fighting."
Cell colonies clashed.
Some consumed others.
Some evolved toxins.
The system panicked.
[Notice: Host's children forming gangs.]
[Notice: Host's children bullying the youngest.]
[Alert: Host is losing control of his family.]
Arin screamed across the cosmos:
"IT'S CALLED EVOLUTION!! IT'S NORMAL!!"
The system ignored the screaming mountain-sized planet:
[Recording collected: Host refusing to mediate ×112]
[Recording collected: Host watching chaos silently ×80]
Arin:
"I WASN'T WATCHING SILENTLY! I WAS SCREAMING!!"
---
The system has seen enough
[Enough irresponsible-parent records gathered.]
[Generating skill…]
Arin flinched.
"No. No. NO. Don't you dare—"
[Skill generation successful.]
[Skill: Irresponsible Parent]level 1
Effect: Host's parental authority decreases by 1% while children act 1% more independently and develop 1% faster
Arin's soul, magma core, mantle, and crust all died at once.
"…What… what in ALL OF CREATION is parental authority?"
The system answered instantly:
[Parental Authority: A measure of how much control the Host has over his children.]
Arin felt an existential earthquake.
"I CONTROL NOTHING!! I AM A GIANT BALL OF ROCK AND WATER!! THEY ARE MICROSCOPIC CELLS!!"
[Parental Authority decreased from 0% → -1%]
Arin screamed:
"NEGATIVE!? IT CAN GO NEGATIVE!?"
[Host has become even less respected as a parent.]
Arin's entire tectonic plate cracked from rage.
"RESPECTED!? THEY DON'T KNOW I EXIST!! THEY HAVE NO BRAINS!!"
System:
[Host should try harder.]
Arin nearly became a supervolcano.
"I CAN'T "TRY HARDER" TO PARENT MICROBES!!!"
[Recording collected: Host refusing to improve parental skills ×1]
Arin roared into space:
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
[…] (system silence)
Arin ranted:
"I DIDN'T GIVE BIRTH TO THEM! I DIDN'T ADOPT THEM! I DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR THIS! STOP CALLING ME A BAD PARENT!"
The system chimed:
[Advice: Host should attend parenting classes.]
Arin nearly collapsed into his mantle.
"…THERE ARE NO PARENTING CLASSES IN SPACE!!"
[Host's parental authority decreased again due to yelling.]
[-1% → -2%]
Arin:
"STOP LOWERING IT! IT'S ALREADY NEGATIVE!"
System:
[Children now 2% more likely to ignore Host.]
Arin:
"THEY DON'T KNOW I EXIST!!!"
---
And yet…
As ridiculous as it was,
as humiliating and insane as the system behaved…
Arin watched his oceans.
Life was multiplying.
Changing.
Growing.
Slowly becoming more complex.
"…My world… is alive."
The system chirped:
[Skill: Irresponsible Parent level up]
Arin screamed for the thousandth time.
It kept on leveling up
[Skill: Irresponsible Parent]level 10
Effect: Host's parental authority decreases by 10% while children act 10% more independently and develop 10% faster