Summary:
Reborn just in time to join the rest of the younglings in asking Master Skywalker what they were going to do because there were too many of them.
Oh well, she had future knowledge, a tendency to be overlooked and forgotten about by the Creche Master, and the reckless abandonment of someone who knows when they die.
AKA
Maria, a fan from our world, wakes up in GFFA and decides that she isn't here for a long time, but a good time. She's not here for the whole cult thing of the Jedi, but she will annoy the Sith whenever she can. Though if the Coruscant Guard could be a bit less good at spotting the unaccompanied Jedi child wandering the Senate, that would be appreciated.
Notes:
This came from me procrastinating doing my psychology exam and wondering if I could smack a self-insert into Star Wars for funzies and write about that. Turns out, I can.
(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)
Chapter 1: Escape Attempt number... IDKChapter Text
As any Star Wars fan could tell you: this fandom is neurotic.
People find their niches in Star Wars and they stick to it. They also fight you worse than a rabid dog if they think you've infringed on their territory; like saying something completely innocent like 'Death Watch is a terrorist group' or 'the Empire was bad ; ' because someone, somewhere in this fandom can and will take offense to your personal opinion (not that either of those are opinions, those are canonical facts , please stop yelling at me -). Fans, in their niches, go overboard and obsess over every single detail, which guarantees that unless you've asked what their niches are, you can't expect to shove two Star Wars fans in the same room and expect them to carry a conversation about it, because one will probably love the Old Republic Sith and the other is fluent in Mando'a. At least, with every Star Wars fan that is anything more than slightly casual, they can probably tell you what happens in the canon movies and tell you what they would do if they had to write a 'fix-it' fanfic.
This is what keeps poor Maria from just giving up the second she wakes up in Star Wars.
That, and the fact that Jedi are in the 'let them run wild and learn from their own mistakes' parenting camp. She would have gone insane if she had to deal with helicopter or strict Creche Masters.
She was a bit everywhere with her niches so they weren't as in-depth as most other fans' obsessions, swinging wildly between the Mandalorians with the Haat Mando'ade and Din Djarin, and the concept of Tatooine Slave Culture with Luke Skywalker and Anakin's… Anakiness. She was well-aware that that man was just a psychotic break and a shit-ton of trauma walking around, and she liked to poke at him through fanfiction only, thank you very much. At least this did have a bit of overlap where she knew a lot about the Clone Wars, but nowhere near enough for her current position.
Reborn too late to save Jaster Mereel and stop Galidraan, reborn too early to join the Rebel Alliance, but reborn just in time to join the rest of the younglings in asking Master Skywalker what they were going to do because there were too many of them.
Oh well, she had future knowledge, a tendency to be overlooked and forgotten about by the Creche Master, and the reckless abandonment of someone who knows when they die.
She wakes up in the Coruscant underbelly, looking like a half-starved toddler, and decides that her best chance for not getting shanked in a dark alley is to walk right up to the Jedi Temple and hope that they will give her a good meal and find her a nice social worker. She did not factor in the possibility that she, in fact, did not speak Basic or that she could be force-sensitive.
After a very long time of them trying to communicate with her in every language that the Healing Halls' protocol droid had, and her responding in every language she vaguely knows 'hello' in, they give up trying to ask her anything other than "What's your name?" "This owie?" "Hungry?"
Maria Rosa-Cortez, who was very stubborn about them spelling her name correctly on her paperwork (Thank the force she bothered to learn Aurebesh), got released to the Creche the very next day.
She was four years old, tiny, quiet, and couldn't speak any known galactic language. The Creche Masters, beyond encouraging her to learn Basic and nudging her toward the other Younglings, let her to her own devices.
So she plotted.
She had access to voice modulators, comm terminals, and a good amount of future knowledge. Sidious had nothing on a Maria determined to have fun.
She had ghost bank accounts and the force helped her choose the gambling numbers. She regularly ran wild on Coruscant, having the street kids tell her chatter and lurking in Little Keldabe for the good mando gossip. She alerted the Council about Master Kenobi's Kaminoan discovery before the man had even gotten captured through some clever slicing. She had hacked the Senate's big screen to display a 'LYING LIARS WHO LIE' text with Palpatine's pic. She-
"MARIA!"
She wasn't paying attention to her crechemates again.
"Yes?" She said innocently, as if Cal Kestis and Caleb Dume weren't staring at her disapprovingly while she had one leg out the window.
The Clone War had started a little under a year ago, and while Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee are both already on the front lines, Cal, Caleb and Maria are all 10 and 11, so we weren't going anywhere for another few months. She thinks Caleb will be a padawan within the next six months, and Cal within the next year and a half, but she isn't sure.
"Where are you sneaking off to now?" Cal asked, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Planting a bug in a senator's office?" She answered truthfully.
She had found out that the 'limits' and 'rules' the Jedi put on force use complete bullshit. Luke was right when he learned about the force through 'Do or Do Not' and decided to do things most Jedi think are impossible. She had figured out how to shield herself to the point of invisibility to any force-sensitive a few years ago and liked to utilize this skill to wander into Palpatine's office through the vents and just watch him be cartoonishly evil from her hidden spot. That man loved to cackle evilly.
"That's illegal." Caleb hissed.
"Actually, since we're in wartime, it's treason!" She cheerfully corrected him.
"You're going to miss Introductory Theoretical Living Force," Cal, the absolute nerd , pointed out.
"Master Nuru has marked me present several times when I wasn't. I'm fine as long as I hand in the homework." She waved him off and started working her other leg out the window.
"I'll tell Master Gigom that you snuck out," Caleb threatened. As if their Creche Master would do anything more than assigning her extra meditation: the Tholian really didn't know how to reign in children and should feel lucky her Creche Clan was all goody-two-shoes except for her.
"No, you won't!"
"No, I won't." Caleb sighed.
"Can you bring me something back?" Cal asked, poking his head out the window to ask her as she made her way down the temple walls.
"Like a cookie or a blaster? Be more specific."
"Would you bring me a blaster if I asked?" He squinted at her.
Caleb face-palmed, "It's Maria. She'd bring back a bomb if you asked."
"Right," Cal nodded. "Can you bring me a smoothie?"
"Sure!" She had to shout to respond, already far down enough that the wind was threatening to kill her through a long fall.
Cal disappeared back inside, probably to go to class, and she took that as the conversation being over.
She took a few steadying breaths, and then reached out to the force with a friendly 'What's up my dude?'
The force seemed to laugh at her casual form of address, already used to her antics. The Jedi, as a cult, address the force way too formally whenever they do so, and she bet that the Sith, as a cult, were either far worse or downright rude, so she thinks she's doing way better by just vibing alongside it.
'I want to mess with the senator of Ryloth again, leak some of his conversations to the press, make it a bit harder to be corrupt. Y'know, just ruin his week a bit. You cool with helping me?'
The force just hummed along, and when she reached out to wrap her shields tighter around her, they strengthened easily.
'Thanks, bestie!' She cheered before jumping off the wall and landing neatly onto the closest landing pad.
The Council would totally have an aneurysm if they ever found out how she talked to the force.
Oh well. Time to hotwire a speeder and buy Cal his smoothie.
Chapter 2: It's smoothie time!Summary:
Maria gets Cal's smoothie. Crimes may or may not have been committed before that.
Notes:
I forgot to add! This is all pre-written, honestly a lot of the chapters are a bit all over the place cause I wasn't gonna originally publish this until my gf and bf told me it was good and I should share it... so yeah!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
If there was one thing that Maria loved, it was running wild.
Master Gigom had realized that as soon as she attempted her first jailbreak at 4 years old, trying to stow away on Kenobi and Skywalker's transport. Xe had carried her back to the creche like she was a feral tooka, and told her that she was free to run wild in the temple as long as she didn't break any rules or bones. She didn't understand much else of xir speech, her Basic was only conversational at that point, but she did learn that she would be left to her own devices as long as she didn't put herself or others in danger.
So, now that she knew how to hide herself from force-users, she could disregard those instructions and put herself in as much danger as she pleased.
She's not going to live another 2 years, she's not arrogant enough to believe she can escape Darth Vader, so she doesn't particularly care if she died earlier than that.
Shimming through the Senate Rotunda vents, humming the mission impossible theme, she made her way to the office of Senator Orn Free Taa, the slaver senator.
The fucker had been selling his own people into slavery for a good while now, and even would appear publicly with several 'paid escorts' (slaves, those women were slaves ) on his arms. Unfortunately, galactic politics didn't give two shits about slavery. Tax fraud, however? He's dead. Force forbid someone messes with the taxes.
Maria dropped in through the vents, stuck a datachip in the data terminal, left a bug in his sitting room, and stole what looked like an expensive artifact.
Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy!
Of course, that meant that someone did, in fact, notice her making her escape.
The force was laughing in her ear, the bitch.
"Hey, kid, where are you going?" One of the Coruscant Guard asked, kneeling to question the child wandering the senate hallways.
Quick, play dumb!
"Yo no hablo Basico."
Not that dumb!
"Uhh," The guard looked at his vod, probably wondering what senator lost their kid.
"Hablas Espanol?" She continued to babble. "Queiro mi papi. Pueso ir?"
"Mix, just leave her, she doesn't look lost, and I'm not risking getting accused of kidnapping a politician's kid because we stepped in." The other guard hissed at his brother.
Mix, realizing that it was better to leave her alone, quickly scrambled back upright. "Right. Uh, go ahead, kid." He awkwardly shooed her away.
She gave him a grin and waved, "Gracias, adios!"
Huh. That worked. Thank the force for mean senators and nervous troopers.
She skittered out of the senate building, and immediately headed for one of the elevators that would take her to the lower levels.
The lower levels are way safer than the upper levels for a kid like her. Of course, she is totally at risk of getting stabbed in a dark alley, but she wouldn't get arrested for treason or stealing when she pawned her new prizes.
"Psst! Cassandra!" Someone hissed and she followed.
To the underworld, she was Cassandra, cat-burglar extraordinaire and the little brat who bites anyone who thinks they can shake her down. She leaks Jedi, Senate, and Republic secrets like prophecies, and she makes them listen to her.
"What's the haul, princess?" The Zabraki teen in front of her asked, playing with his knife.
"I'll give you the artifact if you get the datachip to a reporter, Howl." She said immediately, "This is a good pawn too, so I better be hearing a scandal by tomorrow night."
"And if you don't?"
She gave him a look, "Then I take my business to your rivals, duh."
"No need to get prissy, princess." He mocked, before relaxing. "Diggs can pass it to his reporter cousin, their family needs it."
"Well, if that's the case," She tosses him a commlink. "Tell Diggs that that connects to the bug in Senator Orn Free Taa's private sitting room. It's bouncing off an untraceable signal, but have him burn it after a ten-day just in case."
He nods, "You're too good to us, Cassandra."
"This is treason. I'm in the middle of my villain arc, I just haven't compromised my morals yet." She snarked, handing him the artifact and datachip. "Now, is Jixy still doing that special on smoothies? I promised my bro I'll get him one."
Howl snorted, "Yeah, they are. Have fun, princess."
"Ciao!" She yelled back, making her way to Jixy's diner.
Jixy made the best smoothies, even if their diner was technically a front. Maria quickly greeted the Twi'lek, before ordering two smoothies, one for her and one for Cal.
Humming the Little Einsteins theme, she made her way back to the temple, a smoothie in each hand.
Until she was stopped, again. By a clone trooper, again .
What's with the vode today? Can't an unaccompanied minor do treason without getting asked where her parents are? And why is the force not warning her about them?
"Ad'ika, what are you doing?" A trooper in red stood in front of her, looking faintly familiar.
She looked at him like he was being stupid. "Smoothie." She held up her drink.
"Without your Jedi Master?" He asked, and she froze.
"Why do you think I'm a Jedi?"
He nodded towards her boot, "You have a lightsaber hidden in there, I can see the outline of the hilt."
"Aw kark," She pouted. "Any way I can convince you not to snitch on me?"
"No." He said bluntly, taking his helmet off, revealing dark auburn hair with silver on his temples and a great jawline. "I'm Commander Fox. What's your name, ad'ika?"
"Initiate Cortez, She/Her, call me Maria please." She was polite, despite her shock. Oh my god, Fox is a silver fox ! Damn, no wonder TCW never animated his face, they could never do the supermodel justice. "Am I getting escorted to the temple or detained at the Guard headquarters?"
"I'll be escorting you back," Fox said, steering her towards a speeder. "Initiate? You're just a cadet, what are you doing running around Coruscant by yourself?"
"Like I said. Smoothie." She shrugged, neglecting the treason bit. "Want a sip?"
"I'm on duty," He turned it down. "You get into trouble often?"
"I've been reliably informed that I'm worse than General Vos, but much better at not getting caught."
Fox looked like he just received the worst news of his life. "Is that so?" He said, a bit strangled.
"Don't worry, I prefer to explore rather than start bar fights. I got all the way to Coco town before I had to go back last week." She patted his arm as they neared the temple.
Hopping off the speeder, she threw her empty cup away and grabbed Fox's hand, the other still holding Cal's drink. Technically, anyone can walk into the temple, but obviously, this is a cult, so nobody does.
"You have to tell Master Gigom where you found me, right? Come on then." She dragged him inside the temple, despite his hesitance.
"Usually, if I ever get caught, it's a temple guard, so they carry me back to the creche. One time, I got caught by Vos, which sucked cause he gave me a lecture on how to properly sneak out and judging when I'm in over my head. Like, sure, he found me sneaking into a spice factory, but what was he doing in the spice factory, huh? I was just getting pictures to send to a local reporter. He looked like he was just going to jump right in and kark osik up. Hypocrite."
"Are you always this honest?" Fox stared at her incredulously as she pressed the button to bring her to the creche.
"Adults never believe me. One time I told Master Yoda that the chancellor is an evil sith lord manipulating the war for his own gains and he told me that it's natural to not like politicians, but making stories up about them is rude."
Fox froze, tension running through every part of his body. Maria, stopped as well, looking up at him in realization.
"Oh," She said softly. "You know too, don't you?"
He swallowed thickly, putting his helmet back on his head. "Good soldiers follow orders."
"Of course they do," She said sadly. "Good soldiers also question orders, but you can't do that either, can you?"
"The chancellor is a good man and I am proud to serve him. Good soldiers follow orders." His hands curled into fists by his side, and she felt her hand being squeezed.
"Sorry!" She realized that her comments were hurting him, that the pain in the force was coming from his head. The force psychically poked her, reprimanding her and urging her to fix it.
"I won't mention it again. I- Uh- The creche! I snuck out to steal Cal a smoothie, cause he asked me to, and he's my favorite crechemate, don't tell anyone that. Cal's eight months older than me, but he has total baby energy, so usually me and Caleb do whatever he wants when asks for it. Would jump in front of a saber for him. Caleb's the oldest, he's 11 and I think Master Billaba is going to take him as her padawan. He's always telling me off for breaking the law and sneaking out, the stiff, but I know that he's the one who stole Master Koon's pink cookies from his rooms, so he won't snitch on me while I can snitch back. He's got major ori'vod energy, one time I told him he would make a good dad and he got really touched for a few seconds. Secret softie. Uh, you better now?"
"I'm fine ad'ika." He was giving her a curious look from beneath his helmet, she knew it.
They arrived at the creche, and Master Gigom zeroed in on her, already tired. "What now, Maria?"
Caleb, however, looked between her and Commander Fox like he couldn't believe what he's seeing. "Uh, what you got there, Maria?"
"A smoothie!" She beamed and handed Cal his smoothie with a head ruffle. "Here you go, sweetie."
Cal batted her hand away and stuck his tongue out at her.
"I meant the clone trooper." Caleb glared at her.
"Commander Fox found me in the mid-levels and escorted me back," She shrugged.
Master Gigom immediately started thanking the commander, who tried to brush off xir off to no avail.
"I thought clones aren't meant to be in the temple?" Cal asked.
"Just because we're a cult doesn't mean it's against the rules to have visitors. Honestly, Cal, don't be rude."
"The Jedi are not a cult! " Caleb hissed.
"We are a bit of a cult," Cal said, slurping their smoothie.
"We're totally a cult," Maria said.
Caleb threw his hands up, "I'm not helping you with your homework."
"Wait no-" Maria panicked, knowing damn well she can't do half her STEM classes without Caleb and Cal helping her.
"Initiate Cortez, you have two hours extra meditation every day this week," Master Gigom added as xe passed by them to show Fox the way out.
"Fuck!"
Notes:
Maria has probably far too much fun stressing other people out, Caleb is going to join Fox with the grey hairs thing soon
Chapter 3: Just take the damn cookie!Summary:
Maria makes cookies for the troopers. The dark side can't tempt her because she knows how to make her own cookies!
Notes:
Translations:
Taungsday- Tuesday
ad'ika- Kid, little one, child (affectionate)
Jetii- Mando'a for jedi
Fox'ika- Fox but affectionate
vode- siblings
shabuir- jerk but stronger cause this is Disney. More like motherfucker.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Poo-tah. Puta." Cal diligently repeated.
"Yeah, good job! Now, that means 'whore,' but it's totally a gender-neutral whore." She gestured wildly with one hand while she checked the news about how the Ryloth senator has been using tax credits to fund his brothel. Scandalous.
"Are you teaching him how to swear?" Caleb asked incredulously, and they both jumped, not realizing that he had snuck upon them.
"Uhh…"
"Maria!"
"Everyone needs to know how to secretly swear someone out, really, it's just good life skills!" She defended herself, putting her hands up in surrender.
"He's like, a baby! You don't teach babies how to swear!" Caleb was not impressed at all.
"Hey, I'm just two months younger than you!" Cal protested, "I beat you in a spar on Taungsday!"
"You can't even smell caff without making a face," The eldest boy crossed his arms.
Cal wrinkled his nose, "It's so bad, how can you drink that stuff?"
"Yo, boys!" Maria cut them off, waving her datapad in their faces, looking delighted. "I think I got Senator Free Taa arrested!"
They both whipped back around to her, crowding around to see the news on the screen.
' SENATOR OF RYLOTH: TAX FRAUD, PROSTITUTION, AND SLAVERY.
Senator Orn Free Taa's corruption was exposed by young investigative journalist, Fio Diggs, this morning. As allegations continue to pile up, one wonders as to how deep this disgusting darkness goes. The senator did not want the public to wonder, however, and attempted to flee Coruscant as of 1450 hours. This attempt was foiled by the Coruscant Guard, with several troopers arresting the corrupt senator after a thrilling speeder chase .'
"Maria, and I cannot believe I'm saying this, but good job," Caleb muttered, eyes flicking across the article.
"Woah, he tried to shoot the troopers who arrested him!" Cal said from where he was half draped across her to see the pad that Caleb snatched out of her hands.
"The bastard," She sniffed, proud at her successful expose.
Caleb looked between the pad and her. "Free Taa was considered by many impossible to remove from the senate simply because he's that corrupt, you realize that?"
"Uh-huh. I'm thinking about exposing Mas Amedda next. He totally commits high treason."
"This is the fifth senator you've exposed in the past year. Someone is going to get suspicious." Caleb warned.
"Yeah, and who's going to admit they got exposed by a little girl who's barely 10?" She shot back, "I'm going to have the senate live feed sliced tonight. Should it read 'Terror on the battlefield to hide the terror in our Republic' or 'When the rich wage war, it's the poor who bleed'?"
"The first is better, the second focuses on the war too much," Cal said.
"We're going to get arrested for aiding treason one of these days," Caleb sighed before adding his two cents. "I agree with Cal though, the latter can mean the Jedi are warmongers."
"Thanks." She fiddled with the pad before sending an encrypted message to the slice-worm she downloaded into the senate mainframe a few months ago that nobody has found yet. "Done!"
"Are you going to do your homework now? Please?" Caleb asked, sitting down properly across from her.
"Ugh, fine. Only because I love you."
"That's attachment."
"I'm not living to be a teenager, fuck attachment."
"Don't swear in front of the baby."
"HEY!"
--
Master Gigom, as expected, forgot about Maria's grounding after 48 hours. Bless the poor master, xe really shouldn't have been a Creche Master, but the Creche was really short-handed and xe used to be a Searcher before xir retirement.
She pulled on her more casual robes, the set she wore whenever she wasn't attending a festival or formal event. The fit made her feel like an early 2000s kid being dressed by their mom, or maybe more like a Disney channel original-movie star. Grey leggings, bright blue long-sleeved shirt, a white sleeveless top over her shirt, and a dark blue circle skirt over everything. Yikes. At least her hair was just a simple braid with a blue headband and her shoes were a set of sturdy boots.
"Where you going this time?" Cal asked, not looking up from his engineering book as she got ready.
"Probably to commit arson," Caleb snarked as he stressed over the mouse droid that Cal was instructing him how to fix.
"I wish. Nah, I'm going to bring the Corrie Guard some cookies, they look like they need some food other than rations." She said as she double-checked the straps of her backpack.
Caleb gave her a weird look, "Meeting their commander has changed your opinion about the troopers or something? I swear you said several times that the clones will be the death of you."
"They will be. I can sympathize with them while also being fully aware that they are going to murder me. And they chased Senator Dumb-Fuck across Coruscant. They deserve cookies."
"The clones are soldiers for the Republic. They're not going to murder the Jedi."
"They have mind-control chips in their brains !"
"You sound like a conspiracy theorist."
"It's literally a sith conspiracy."
"The chancellor is NOT a sith lord."
"You are so going to be eating your words in a few years' time."
"You need help."
"I'm aware, but my psychological issues have no bearing on my belief of the sith messing with the clones' heads."
Caleb groaned, smacking his forehead onto the mouse droid as Cal snorted.
"Tell the troopers I said 'good job.'" Cal instructed.
"Will do, little red. Anything from you, CD?" She turned to her other friend.
"Don't get arrested. And pass me that spanner before you go."
She passed him the tool, rolling her eyes as she did. "Bye C-squared."
"Bye," Cal said, before returning to helping Caleb.
--
Deciding that doors are for noobs, Maria was currently unscrewing the vent in the Corrie Guard Station.
She had Jedi powers, fuck if she wouldn't use them for every little thing. There's no such thing as 'frivolous use of The Force' Yoda , just power and those too stupid to utilize it to the best of their abilities.
She silently pulled back the vent grate and stuck her head through the gap, watching as the troopers did their jobs.
Two men, shinies from the look of their impersonal armor, were processing a rowdy rodian into a cell. A commander was instructing several men as to their posts, barely looking up from his datapad. Another trooper had an Aak dog on a leash, and was heading out. Three men had stacked datapads up to their chin, datapads that looked suspiciously like some of the paperwork she knows that the senator-aides should be dealing with.
Finally, she spotted Fox, with his pretty red armor and a cup of caf in his hand, sending waves of stress-frustration-grief into the force as he looked down at a pad.
Huh. Something bad must have happened for him to be feeling like that in The Force.
Flipping down from her vantage point, she landed in a perfect superhero pose.
Several men yelled, one shrieked worse than a spider-monkey on spice, and at least a dozen blaster shots were sent her way, which she quickly blocked with her saber.
"What the-?!" Fox cursed, nearly spilling his caf everywhere.
"Hi!" Maria grinned, "You guys are really unused to Jedi dropping in, huh?"
Everyone was staring at her, looking at her like she was insane (or so she assumed, they had their helmets on), and then looking at Fox as if waiting for instructions or explanation.
"Initiate Cortez, you are not supposed to leave your temple. I am having one of the men escort you back." He said, tired and apparently with no time for her.
"No need! I'll go straight back after," She ducked his hand reaching for her shoulder. "I just wanted to pop in and say thank you for arresting that Senator earlier this week. Brought cookies as a gift."
"You- what?" That stopped him, and she could feel the gentle wave of confusion. Force, he must be exhausted if his shielding is this bad.
"Brought cookies. Oh! And a message from Cal, he said 'good job,' and he also thinks the speeder case was cool."
"Commander?" One of the men receiving orders before she dropped in spoke up, and Fox straightened, shaking off his confusion.
"Back to work, men! Hound, Thorn, finish what you're doing and report to me." He turned to her, "My office, ad'ika."
"Okie-Dokie!" She followed him like a duckling, watching as the others turned back to their tasks.
The second that the door was closed and the helmet was off, Fox turned on her. "Okay ad'ika, what are you really doing here?"
" Cookies ," She stressed the word and opened her bag to show the container of them. "I just thought that you guys could use a thank-you-gift, honest."
"Right. Not to give any of my men a headache ?" He asked, voice thick with implication.
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't think you'd know or listen to me!" She quickly defended herself, "Do you know how many times I tell Masters the truth and they don't listen? I've known this war was coming since I first arrived at the temple, but no. Nobody listens to the child telling everyone of their doom. Not that I blame them."
"How do you even know?" Fox questioned, frowning.
"A good mix of dreams, the force, my curiosity, and stuff I vowed not to tell anyone about."
"Humph," Fox sat down and crossed his arms. "As long as you're not going to be causing trouble for my men, then I won't stop you."
She smiled, "Thanks! Do you want a cookie? I brought caf-flavoured ones cause you look like you'd like them. They're homemade, I have caf, nut-butter, choccy-chip, banilla, and shrewsberry."
He took a caf cookie and bit into it, humming appreciatively. "How did you even get so far away from your temple?"
"Jumped out a window and hitched a ride with the troopers finishing their temple patrol shift," She shrugged and grabbed a banilla cookie. "I used the force to make them not check the back seat, so don't yell at them."
Fox sighed, tiredly. "How about calling a taxi after walking out the front door next time?"
She gave him an affronted look, "That's boring. I have The Force, I'm going to use it."
"Right. Look kid, thank you for the cookies, but the station isn't the place for a cadet to be running around underfoot." Fox began, obviously about to kick her out.
Commander Thorn and Sergeant Hound entered at that point, and she gave them a bright smile, the innocent one that makes older Masters pinch her cheeks, and waved. "Hi!"
She could feel them melting in the force, even as they gave a simple "Hello" back.
"Thorn, Hound, this is the runaway Jetii cadet I escorted back to the temple I told you about. The one who knows." He introduced them.
They went from passive to alert in The Force and she wrinkled her nose. "My name is Maria , not kid or cadet." She corrected.
"You know about…" Thorn trailed off, unable to say more.
"Yeah. Force stuff. Didn't expect anyone else to know. Want a cookie?" She waved her banilla one as she talked.
"Sure, ad'ika," Thorn took a shrewsberry one.
Hound was a bit more skeptical, but he grabbed a cookie seeing that his two commanders were eating them too.
Removing their helmets, she was once again surprised at their faces. Thorn had long hair, messily tied back in a curly bun, and a rose tattoo curling up behind his ear and blooming on his temple. Hound had the sides of his head shaved, and the top of his head dyed grey, with several eyebrow, ear, and nose piercings, and oh my force is that a forked tongue?!
He noticed her staring, "What?"
"You're so cool! I love your piercings!"
He was obviously startled, "Uh, thanks. I did them myself."
"Awesome!"
Thorn snorted, "Congrats Hound, a baby Jetii thinks you're cool."
He growled at his brother's teasing. "You're just jealous."
Thorn responded by stealing his cookie, and Fox sighed as the two began play-wrestling.
She giggled madly at the classic sibling display.
"Oi!" Fox barked out as Hound nearly stumbled into him, and they both immediately let go and stood at attention.
"Don't worry Thorn, I think your tattoo is cool too." She said as Fox glared at them.
"Initiate Cortez, I ask you not to encourage them."
She waved him off, "ANYWAY! Did you know your Force Presence is, like, super loud right now?"
Fox startled, glancing at his brothers in confusion before returning to look at her. "What are you talking about?"
"You're projecting loudly. That's how I found you through the vents, by the way. The force is telling you that you need to rest, and you're pumping out stress and grief like a steady motor."
Fox froze, the feelings rising in a crescendo before they seemed to disappear in a shield.
"Even the Jetii agrees you need sleep, Fox'ika. I'm telling the medics to cut you off from the caf." Thorn said, worried.
Fox sighed, putting his head in his hands, his fingers threading through his hair. "I have to sign off on a decommissioning on a pair of shinies."
"What?" She blurted, head whipping up to stare at him. "That's murder! I thought that the decommissioning was shut down by Master Ti."
Hound scoffed, "This is the Senate, Jetii. We're flesh-droids to them. Nobody cares, Kamino is still culling our vode."
Horror filled her senses, disgust, and anger. This isn't supposed to be happening. The Coruscant Guard was supposed to be the safest position in the GAR. Those stupid fucking politicians-
"If the person who sent in the request is arrested, then nobody needs to be decommissioned, right?" She asked, a plan forming in her mind, one hand digging into her bag for her datapad.
"Yes, but we can't just arrest a senator-" Fox tried to shut her down.
"What senator?"
"Senator Agg Utio of Kuat."
Her head whipped up, pure delight washing over her features. "Perfect! I have so much shit on zem! I was planning on waiting another few months, until Palpa-dick" Hound choked at her nickname for the Chancellor "started lining zir pockets with the mass of the Imperial infrastructure commissions, but if I interrupt him now, that's good too. Hmm, Money laundering, tax evasion, tax fraud, G-OSHA violations in his shipyards, and accepting bribes."
Fox was staring at her, slack-jawed. "Where in stars' name did you get all this?"
"I broke into his holoterminal and sliced into his personal accounts," She shrugged. "Who do you think leaked Free Taa's private messages? I told you I'm curious."
"That's illegal." Thorn pointed out.
"Technically, it's treason, but since they did it first, I get a freebie. Do you want me to leak this to the press first or do you want all this information to have been sent to you anonymously? Wait, actually, I can do both at the same time. Sent!"
Hound was grinning like a mad-man. "Fox, can we keep her?"
Fox made a strangled sound from the back of his throat. "I- Sure. Ad'ika, you help us arrest those shabuir senators and we'll ignore the treason."
"Yes!" She pumped a fist into the air, "Awesome, you're never getting rid of me now."
Thorn still seemed to be stuck on the part where she leaked multiple senators' dirty laundry. "Do all Jetii do this? Between General Vos and you-"
"Oh no, we're considered insane heretics. I just like chaos." She hopped off her chair, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a class in two hours, and you have a senator to arrest."
"I'm having one of the men escort you back," Fox reached for a comm, but she was quicker.
"Nope! Then you have to report that I was here, and then I get in trouble again. I'll walk."
"It's a two-hour walk." Fox pointed out.
"I'm a Jedi, I'll be fine. I have my lightsaber."
--
She was, in fact, not fine.
She almost got kidnapped and was saved by a trooper that Fox had apparently assigned to make sure she got back to the temple safely.
She would have escaped said kidnapper just fine, worst-case scenario would have been her being late for class, but nooo~ Fox thinks she's a little kid and needs an escort everywhere.
Bastard. How dare he be vaguely correct!
Notes:
Hound: "Oh my god she commits treason and hates the chancellor. Fox, can we keep her?"
Fox, throws his hands up and sighs: "Sure, why not?"
Thorn: "THE BABY COMMITS TREASON!"
Maria, grinning: "Fuck yeah I'm baby! But Cal is more baby than me!"
Chapter 4: I call that a BAMF BabeySummary:
Maria: *fights*
Me: Hmm, I didn't expect that!
Notes:
Mando'a Translations:
Copikla= cute
ad'ika= little kid
di'kut= idiot
elek= yes
buir= parent
Jetii= jedi
Su'cuy gar= Hello/Greeting
Mar'ika= Maria but affectionate
Vod(e)= Brother(s)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Escaping the Jedi Temple is, as always, ridiculously simple.
One jump out a window here, one secret passage there, a quick trip through the vents, a perilous journey through the maze of corridors below the temple that reek of darkness and threaten to drag her down into the Sith Temple the Jedi Temple is built on top of, a climb down the temple walls, straight out the front door…
So many easy escapes and harder break-ins. Honestly, the security should be ashamed of themselves.
She crawled out of a tunnel that probably used to be a droid maintenance tunnel eons ago when the lower floors were the upper floors of Coruscant and not so low down that natural light is considered a luxury. Honestly, talk about buildup growths, Coruscant is like a mold. Or a fungus.
She bee-lined to the nearest elevator. She wasn't all that fond of the dark, as all humans tended to be, much less unnatural darkness that she knew held dangers.
The lift creaked and groaned as it went up several levels, to the point that she had to ask the force for a steadying hand, and the second that the doors opened onto the midlevel street, she took off, ducking several passersby until she nearly ran face-first into the nearest elevator that went up to the upperlevels.
Her heart was still pounding in anxiety, despite the adrenaline having appeared for a completely ridiculous reason. Honestly, she commits treason and sneaks through a sith's ventilation system on the regular, but walking through dark streets and using a broken elevator had her panicking worse than a buck seeing a hunting rifle.
She hesitantly steps out of the elevator, scanning the busy upperlevel street (it could be barely called upperlevel, really, in another century this will be considered proper midlevel), and started layering the force around her as she walked down the sidewalk.
'Force, darling of mine, how do you feel about causing a bit of chaos?' She reached out as she brought the first layer towards her.
The force buzzed in excitement as it draped itself lazily across her shoulders.
' Yes, I agree, breaking and entering sounds so fun.'
The force hummed in consideration and then pushed a vague thought at her as it wrapped around her waist like a belt.
' The Guard Station? What about th-eem!' Her question was cut off with a verbal squawk.
Picked up from under her arms like a humanoid Simba, a Hamlet so to say, she was hauled up off the ground by a trooper who held her up to eye level of his vod. "Hey, isn't this the Jetii'ika that Fox told us to keep an eye on?"
"I think so," The other trooper said, tilting his head to the side like a confused pigeon.
"I will break your kneecaps if you don't put me down right now!" She yelped, squirming.
"Aww, copikla! The Jetii train them young to be deadly," They cooed at her. Curse her baby fat!
"Put me down!" She yelled, twisting madly and forcing the trooper to have to sling her over his shoulder if he doesn't want to drop her. "Help! HELP! STRANGER DANGER! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!"
Unfortunately, even upperlevel Coruscant doesn't give two shits about child safety, and other than a few curious looks at her thumping the trooper's armor with her fists, nobody cares.
"She's a fighter," The one carrying her declares.
"Duh, she's a Jetii. Should we take her back to her temple or...?"
"Well, Fox was the one that said to be on lookout for her, I suppose we take her back to him?"
"Sure."
"WILL YOU TWO MORONS PUT ME DOWN?!" She screeched at the top of her lungs.
"No can do, kiddo." The one who wasn't holding her said, "We have our orders."
"Well, your orders are dumb," She snarled back. "And don't call me kid! My name is Maria!"
"Su'cuy gar Maria, I'm Chip and the di'kut carrying you is Ankle."
She gave another hard thump to Ankle's armor before going limp, annoyed. "How in force's name did you manage to get stuck with the name 'Ankle'?" She asked, slightly curious and wanting to distract the men so she could try and bolt.
"I accidentally grabbed one of the long neck's ankles and pulled during my wrestling training. If the trainer hadn't been so amused at my face when I realized that I yanked one of them to the floor by the ankle, I think I would've been decommissioned. Instead, I'm assigned to the Guard." Ankle said this cheerfully, like he didn't just say he almost got murdered for embarrassing a Kaminoan.
"I may not like you for kidnapping me, but I respect you for your name," She told him.
Chip snorted, "You say that now. He's still an idiot."
"Hey!" Ankle cried out, "Don't listen to them, Mar'ika, they got their name because they chipped their tooth biting a rock."
"Why did you bite a rock?"
"Treat told me it was a piece of pantoran candy," Grumbled Chip.
"Oh my force," She whispered. "You're both himbos."
"What?" Ankle asked.
"Nothing!" She chirped. "How long until we-"
She was cut off by the men's comms buzzing: ' All available troopers to Level 4341, riot in progress. I repeat, all available troopers to Level 4341, riot in progress.'
They froze, and she could feel their mounting dread and horror in the force.
"Chip, isn't that where the shinies are patrolling today?" Ankle said, horrified.
"Yes." Chip hauled her off Ankle suddenly, putting her on the ground. "Your lucky day, Jetii'ika, we're needed elsewhere. Stay safe and go back to your temple."
They took off running, leaving her on the sidewalk, stunned at the sudden change.
Then, the force seemed to poke at her, and her brain caught up at what exactly was happening. She started running after them, pulling her lightsaber from her boot and bee-lining for an elevator.
Coruscant had 5,127 levels built up from its core. Levels 4,900 to 5,127 are considered upperlevel, where only the richest live; for politicians, CEOs, and the Jedi; and she was currently standing on level 4907. The midlevels, Levels 4,200 to 4,900, where it's harder to have any natural light, are mostly for the poor and undesirable characters as Coruscant doesn't exactly have what is considered a middle-class. The lowest inhabitable levels, Levels 4,000 to 4,200, don't have any light and were inhabited by the lowest of the low; the slaves, droids, and homeless; unable to even breathe properly in its extremely polluted air. All levels below 4,000 were abandoned, the air so toxic that all life is snuffed out in moments.
Maria was probably one of the few living people who have ever traveled down to Level 3,999, having gone exploring the deep bowels of the Jedi Temple and accidentally having found what had once been the Temple's front doors, thousands of years ago, and had an asthma attack just from sticking her head out the door. The Jedi Temple was built over a Sith Temple, not that she had ever taken the passageway that links the two, and the Sith Temple likely goes down another two thousand levels. Considering the Sith Temple was supposedly built on top of a mountain, if she truly wished to, she could head to the true ground level of Coruscant. Not that she ever would, just leaving the temple from Level 4,187 gave her the creeps and a headache, going down any further would probably end in a trip to the healing halls.
Still, she would gladly go down to the midlevels to help the Coruscant Guard stop a riot. Especially considering that she knows the midlevels well, and they would not be hesitating to lethally fire at anyone standing in their way.
She exited the elevator two levels above, the lifts had already been disabled on the level to stop anyone from running away or adding to the mess. She can barely see below from the thick smoke coming from a flaming store, but the stunning bolts the troopers were throwing flashed light onto the silhouettes of the rioters. It looked like a gang war gone horribly wrong, innocents gotten mixed up and frenzied into a mob mentality.
The force began to shout, and she leaped off her level to land in the middle of the riot, lightsaber ignited and rebounded a blaster bolt about to off one of the troopers.
' Force, I'm trusting you to take over! We need to help the Vode!' She shouted mentally and the force gladly answered, wrapping itself around her limbs and snarling in determination.
"I'm covering you, move!" She shouted, body moving to the tune of the force, trusting it to guide her completely. She wasn't the best duelist, but she could deflect blaster bolts and help the men.
She slowly backed up as more bolts flew in her direction, catching as many as she could while the troopers laid cover fire, until there was nobody behind her and she could duck around a wall.
"Sitrep?" She immediately asked, scanning the men. There were armored bodies laying on the main street, but she had to ignore them, even as her stomach turned.
"Initiate Cortez?" Commander Thorn said, shocked at her presence for a second, before his eyes narrowed. "The riot started twenty standard clicks ago, a gang encouraged drunk civvies to raid the burning store, the mob happened two clicks later. Six men down, four injured, we have forty troopers left."
She nodded tightly. "I'm going to force push the mob down about seven to ten feet away from us, I want you to throw your tear gas canisters at the same time and lay fire on stun. We can back them up several feet before they reorient themselves and take shelter around the next alley. Got it?"
"Yes ma'am, the comms caught everything."
"Good," She inched to the very edge of the wall, feeling the men copy her. "Three, two, one, NOW!"
She jumped out, thrusting both hands out in front of her and pushing the mob of oddly fifty people away from her, the force snarling alongside her shout. Tear canisters landed at the feet of the rioters at the same time as they all fell onto the ground, and the whine of blasters firing filled the air.
Marching forward with her lightsaber extended, they managed to move forward a whole block before the return fire began. She blocked the first few bolts and yelled, "Behind shelter, move, now!"
The men all ducked behind whatever shelter they could find, and she took a deep breath before turning to Thorn. "Same attack plan: force push, tear gas, stun bolts."
"Yes ma'am," He readied his blaster.
"NOW!" She jumped back out.
This process was repeated twice more before Guard reinforcements appeared and the rioters were all abruptly stopped and arrested.
"Thorn!" Fox appeared from the other side of the downed mob, striding through the stunned bodies towards where they were both standing, organizing the men.
"Fox," Thorn sighed with relief. "It's okay. Low casualties, and only before the Jetii'ika got to the scene."
Another trooper in paint a shade darker than the normal Corrie color was on Fox's heels, and they visibly relaxed at hearing Thorn's words.
"Thank the force," Fox growled. "Why is Initiate Maria here?"
"She organized the attack strategy against the rioters. We would have lost a lot more men if she hadn't appeared." Thorn defended her.
"Yes, but she's also a child who shouldn't be jumping into the middle of a riot," Fox said, and she could feel his gratefulness-frustration-protectiveness-annoyance in the force.
"Two of your men were escorting me to the station when they got the alert. I have the force and my lightsaber, so I decided to follow them and help out," She explained. "I judged the risk and decided to help anyway."
Ankle, who she could see from the corner of her eye being helped by a medic for his dislocated shoulder, winced at her mention of him.
Fox sighed, "While I am grateful for your help, ad'ika, don't do that again."
"No promises."
"Is anyone going to tell me how you two know a Jetii'ikaad?" The third-wheeling trooper spoke, staring at her.
"Hello, Initiate Maria Rosa-Cortez, She/Her." She greeted, "I like running away from the temple and Commander Fox doesn't."
"If Didi hadn't been following you on my orders, you would have been kidnapped."
"I was fine, I had my lightsaber. You worry too much."
"I do not and you weren't. You're coming back with us to the station and I'm escorting you to the temple later."
"Ugh, fine."
The poor extra trooper looked between them like a particularly interesting ping pong game. "So, Fox decided to adopt a Jetii while I had a mission off-world?"
Thorn's shoulders shake with withheld laughter, "You've got it, Stone."
"She's not my ad," Fox growled.
Smirking, Maria decided to be a little shit. "I dunno, you've got troopers on lookout for me and you worry. Sounds like a buir to me."
Fox, apparently, was capable of being just as sarcastic back. "Is that so? Then you're grounded. No running away for a week."
"Fox'buir!" She gasped dramatically, "How could you?"
Fox snorted and turned back to the mess of the riot. "Yeah, yeah, ad'ika. If you're here, then help us with the clean-up."
"Elek, buir," She cheekily saluted and went to work.
"She knows Mando'a?" She heard Commander Stone ask Thorn.
Notes:
Stone is just sitting there so confused.
Ankle and Chip are my emotional support himbos.
Maria is the type of kid to bite you. Feral kitten in your walls and too curious for their own good.
Fox is rocking up on 2 hours of sleep and anxiety, someone please give that man a nap.
Thorn is just vibing.
Chapter 5: Surprise adoptions aren't always kidnappingsSummary:
Caleb is a padawan!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Cal was curled up on Caleb's chest, his legs tangled in Maria's who was trapped under Caleb, left arm and shoulder serving as a pillow to the eldest boy.
"They're so cool because of it too! With a new slice arm and a processing speed of- '' They were all content to listen to the young stewjoni ramble on about the new astromech droid on the market, lazing away their day off from schoolwork.
Katooni and Gungi had wandered in a while ago, before realising that we were the ones occupying the soft room, and turning on their heels to walk straight back out again.
Their little group was considered a bit strange by the other younglings. Between Maria's Maria-ness, Cal's psychometry, and Caleb's tendency to hover over them both like the galaxy's most protective brother; some believed that all three of them were too attached and were never going to be picked as padawan. Ha! Maria has it on good authority that both her boys were going to be the only two junior padawans to survive Order 66 and become massive pains in the ass of the Empire.
She is nearly dozing off, curled around her boys and warm, when they're interrupted by Master Windu and Depa Billaba.
She jerks up suddenly, only to falter partway because she's still trapped under Caleb. Caleb tries to get up and free her, but Cal is on top of both of them and squawking at the sudden movements.
Needless to say, all three of them end up on the floor in front of the two Masters.
"Ow."
They both look amused, Master Billaba's hand delicately hiding her laughter.
"Masters!" Caleb squeaks, finally taking note of the reason she had tried to get up. He ushers them up and bows, blushing wildly.
"Initiate Dume," Master Billaba greets. "Who are your friends?"
He grasped that distraction with both hands, "These are my best friends, Cal Kestis and Maria Cortez."
"Rosa-Cortez! But just Initiate Cortez, if you must call me by that dumb title." She wrinkled her nose.
Caleb elbowed her in the ribs. "Manners Maria."
"Right. Initiate Cortez if you want to call me by the dumb title, Masters ."
Windu raised his eyebrows but didn't comment.
"Nice to meet you, Initiate Kestis, Initiate Cortez." Billaba said, the slightest hint of amusement that told her that she was doing it on purpose. That troll.
"You too, Master," Cal bowed politely.
"Ditto," She grinned.
Caleb looked like he wanted to strangle her, but settled for glaring at her and sending the psychic version of an arm slap.
"If you wouldn't mind, I would like to talk to you alone, Caleb," Depa turned to him, and Caleb was so quick to agree and leave with her that his new name should be Blue-ray CD… or The Flash, but that's not as funny.
After a beat, they realized that the new Master-Padawan pair had left Master Windu behind, and from Windu's face, he looked a bit panicked.
"So, ah, what do you two like to do?" He asked, awkward. And wasn't that a sight! Mace Windu is awkward with children! Ha!
"I like droids," Cal offered.
"I like running away from the Temple and figuring out how long it takes for a guard to find me." She offered.
"She wants to be a Shadow," Cal added when he saw Master Windu's face at her answer.
"Actually, I want to be the Galaxy's best spy, but Shadow works too."
"I want to be a knight," Cal tried to get the conversation back to normal parameters.
"He's going to be a very good knight." She insisted, "A thorn in the sith's side, for sure."
Master Windu looked like he regretted ever meeting her. "You're very certain of that."
"Visions," She shrugged. "By the way, Boba Fett wants to kill you and he's not against blowing up your entire ship to do it."
"Pardon?"
"Watch out for the feral baby clone."
"I left you for five minutes," Caleb stressed, apparently having walked in on them. "Maria, stop confusing people. I'm sorry Master Windu, her visions are 50/50 completely true or completely off course. You're probably fine."
"When have you ever heard me say something that hasn't happened?"
"The chancellor is NOT a sith lord."
"You can't prove that. It just hasn't happened yet."
"The 'evil' you're feeling in the force is just him being a politician."
She opened her mouth to argue, then shut it. "Get out of here with your 'facts'."
The Masters and Cal watched them go back and forth in confusion and amusement.
"Does this happen often?" Master Billaba asked.
"Yes."
"Reminds me of Kenobi and Vos when they were padawans," Windu noted.
"Really?" Cal asked, eyes widening at his friends being compared to two legendary Jedi.
"Oh yes. But then they became twelve times worse when Obi-Wan stopped pretending to be responsible and threw himself into the middle of the chaos." Billaba nodded.
"He's in our lineage now," Windu said, fake regret in his tone.
"Oh! Congratulations Master! Don't worry, Caleb is just protective of us. You won't regret picking him."
"No, I don't think I will," She smiled.
They were interrupted by Maria squealing loudly and tackling Caleb in a hug.
"You're a padawan, CD!"
"Yes, yes, get off!"
"I'm so proud! You're all grown up!"
"I'm a year older than you!"
"Oooh, we need to celebrate!"
"Maria no."
"Maria yes!" She let go of him to turn to Master Billaba, "Master! Did you know Caleb loves honey cake and chocolate milkshakes? I have the recipes but unfortunately, I am banned from the kitchens after attempting to do some science experiments there."
"I'd be happy to help plan this celebration," She agreed. "Perhaps dinner together tonight? You and Initiate Kestis are invited too, of course."
Caleb looked horrified, and Master Windu was hiding his wince.
Cal, the only one with manners in their group, gave her a toothy grin and said "Thank you Master Billaba!"
Master Billaba was officially Maria's favorite Jedi Master. She was so cool for a brainwashed cult member.
Notes:
Lmao, I forgot I had an ao3 account for three days straight, ADHD is great lol
Chapter 6: So, Zombies are a thingSummary:
*drug dealer voice* "Hey kids, do you want some worldbuilding? and Zombies?"
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The Jedi Temple's main doors opened to Level 5,065.
When it was rebuilt the last time, Level 5,065 was 30 levels above the rest of Coruscant, and level to the Senate main doors. That was during the Ruusan Reformation. 900 years later, it was 62 levels below the highest level of Coruscant.
The Jedi Temple on Coruscant was built over 4 thousand years ago, on top of the original Jedi Temple, with its doors to Level 4,185. The Old Temple was built before the Old Sith Wars, roughly 6 thousand years ago, as a monument to Jedi might and as a war base, a symbol of power over the sith that once lived in the Sith Temple under it, and the beginning of the end of the Jedi. The Old Temple's doors lead out to Level 3,800, and their basement, roughly at Level 3,780, has a passage that links to the Sith Temple.
The Sith Temple wasn't always a sith temple. In fact, it was originally a force user temple, built over 30 thousand years ago, merely 2 thousand years after Coruscant first documented force users. It stood for ten thousand years before the Jedi came to be, discovering the use of kyber and figuring out how to wield the force. Ten thousand years after that, the first Dark Jedi appeared, a small faction within the Jedi that believed that only using the darker side of the force with their wildest of emotions was better, producing more powerful force users, instead of the equal balance of light and dark the Jedi used.
They were exiled after a schism that ended with a dead Jedi, and they decided to conquer and enslave the Sith species, teaching them how to be Dark Jedi like them. The Dark Jedi returned to the place that once shunned them, with their army of Sith, and established the first Sith Temple. The ancient temple, originally a place of happiness and love, transformed into a place of bitter spite and betrayal. The Sith Temple, though at first establishment was not a place of hate nor atrocity, slowly became darker in the next five thousand years, its members dwelling on the betrayal of the Jedi and Dark Jedi for generations, culminating in pure hatred.
When the Old Sith Wars between the Jedi and the Sith began, it was with a decisive strike by the Jedi at the heart of the Sith Order, the Jedi Lords of War taking the Sith Temple of Coruscant with a slaughter of all within. The Jedi Lords decided to make their new command base a temple above the Sith Temple, a shrine to their glory, a sign of the carnage still to come.
However, the darkness in the temple below seeped into the Old Temple, and the Jedi Lords that lived above came to a safety measure to stop any of their members from taking the same path of the Dark Jedi before them: only seasoned Jedi Lords who can manage to use only the light side within its walls were allowed inside. It was only a base, not meant to be lived in, but as the years passed it was treated more and more like a proper temple.
By the time the Old Temple was rebuilt upon again, due to the darkness permeating it from the war and the Sith Temple, the Jedi Temple of Coruscant was lived in and used solely by the warrior and knight sects of the Jedi Lords, used as a base to train their padawans. They still used only the light side of the force, and began teaching their padawans to control their emotions so as to not be too tempted to use the dark.
Eventually, the Jedi Temple of Coruscant merely became the main temple of the Jedi Lords, no longer only for their fighter corps. With the Ruusan Reformation, most of the other Jedi temples across the galaxy were destroyed, so the Jedi flocked to the Coruscant temple, where they fully adopted the New Jedi Code vowing against emotions and using the dark side of the force.
Now, the modern Jedi Order had forgotten all their history before the Jedi Temple was constructed.
How did Maria know this? She went down far enough that she found the Old Temple and its archives. How did she know about the original force user temple? Well…
"This is so fucking creepy," She muttered as she approached the lowest floor of the Old Temple, where it connected with the Sith Temple.
The force, greyer than she had ever felt it, hummed in agreement from where it was draped across her shoulders.
She had decided to finally go down beyond the main building of the Old Temple, hoping to explore the Sith Temple below, and was armed with a flashlight, a survival-camping bag she stole from storage, and her lightsaber.
The walls are not overly decorated in the Old Temple, not with how it was originally a military base, but there were just enough moth-eaten tapestries and weird statues that every once in a while, she rounded a corner and had a heart attack.
Humming 'In The Hall Of The Mountain King' off-key, she inches toward the final level and opens the door.
And promptly screams, unsheathing her lightsaber.
The room, empty but for the two doors linking the two temples, was guarded by ten Jedi Sentinel Guards. Ten decayed skeleton bodies still standing vigil, lightsabers in their hands, at parade rest. The echoes of the room still held their last days in the force: hunger and thirst, locked in to guard the passage forever in the force, duty and steady devotion.
The force snickered in her ear, laughing at her jump-scare-in-a-horror-house-esqe reaction.
"Oh shush," She grumbled, before peering closer at the mummified remains of the Jedi. "Hey Greg, does guarding this passage for eons give you a crick in the neck?"
The guard's head swiveled to look directly at her.
"AAAAH!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, backpedaling so hard that she fell on her ass and crawled away from the zombie.
"Who are you?" A voice booms.
She just sat there, trembling. The force had to poke her to make her remember how to speak.
"M-Maria. Initiate of the Jedi Order."
"You should not be here, child. Return to your Master." The voice responded.
Before she could squash her anger, she snapped back a retort. "I said I'm an Initiate, not a padawan, I don't have a Master. Adult ."
The voice laughed, coming from every Sentinel's mouth at once in a disturbing echo. "You are a bold one, Initiate Maria. Why are you here?"
Relaxing slightly at the knowledge that they won't just cut her down randomly, she shrugged. "I was curious and the force was egging me on. I read in your archives that there's a Sith Temple on the other side of that door, and I wanted to see if I could explore their archives. I want to know exactly how old these passages are and why the temple is constantly being built overtop this one spot."
"You do not seek the darkness? The power?"
"No, never," She denied. "I seek knowledge. There is no Ignorance, there is Knowledge." She quoted the New Jedi Code.
"Through Knowledge, I gain Strength." The voice quoted back, "I see the code has changed in your time, little archivist."
"It's been six thousand years," She confirmed. "The galaxy is a very different place… though not that much, considering that we're fighting yet another civil war against the Sith."
The Sentinel Guards nodded in unison. "You may pass, young one, but be wary. Shall you be tempted by the power of the dark, you will never leave the temple. The Ancient Archives are on the 213 floor of the west wing, the elevator will take you there directly."
"Thank you," She said, bowing respectfully.
The Guards returned to their perfect eternal vigil, the heavy weight of the force that they had given themselves over to, dissipating.
She took a deep breath and reached towards the hinged door separating the Jedi and the Sith.
"Let's hope I don't girlboss a bit too close to the sun, huh bestie?" She muttered at the force before taking the plunge.
--
Despite the twenty-minute journey to the Sith Archives, there were no traps or anything actually nefarious.
In fact, other than the oppressing blanket of anger-regret-bitterness of the dark, the Sith Temple was just like the Jedi Temple and the Old Temple. Including the terrible interior design that gives her heart palpitations with their ugly looming.
She came to a stop outside massive double doors.
"Are you the archives?" She asks thin air. The force gives the psychic equivalent of sighing at her antics.
She takes that as a confirmation and walks right in.
Oh. Oh damn.
There are so many books . Like, actual physical books. PAPER . Maria has never been so hyped about paper before. She's like Belle in the Beast's library. She's in love.
She bee-lined toward the nearest shelf, reaching out and taking a physical copy of 'Che Luzsabre Phorms Ov Che Phuturr.'
Wait a second. She squints at the slightly evolved latin alphabet staring back at her. That's English. It's a terribly bastardized version of English, but it most certainly is English.
"The Lightsaber forms of the future," She sounded out loud, nonplussed. "What the fuck?"
"You speak Proto Basic?" A voice asks from behind her, and she shrieks.
What is it with jumpscares and voices today?
A tall human was staring down at her, in dark maroon robes and threaded gold in their kinky brown hair. The woman peered down at her through her glasses. Glasses! Actual glasses!
"You are not one of this temple's apprentices," She frowned. Her Basic was terribly accented and overly formal, like a holocron that nobody has used in a few thousand… oh.
"No ma'am," She said politely. "I'm researching the history of this temple, are you the Holocron archivist?"
"Yes. I am Madame Debois. Who are you and how do you know Proto Basic?" She said, looking at her critically.
"I am Jedi Initiate Maria Rosa-Cortez. Proto Basic is my first language, my parents taught me it, I call it English." She explained truthfully, but with her hand on her lightsaber.
"I know it is called English," Madame Debois said sharply. "I want to know how a child speaks English when it has been thousands of years since I have last heard anyone speak it."
Maria frowned, then realized. "Madame Debois, what was the name of this planet originally?"
"It has gone through many name changes while I have been an archivist. Coruscant was its name during the last time I was awake. Notron, was what the Jedi called it. I was born, however, back when it was first called Earth. Terra." She answered primly.
Oh fuck . She wasn't in a Galaxy Far Far Away, nor A Long Time Ago. She was in the fucking future. George Lucas is a fucking prophet. Oh no.
"Would you mind telling me when you were born? The year, please." Her voice was strangled.
"3073 AD. 1008 TYA if we're using the dating system of the Jedi and Dark Jedi. Why?"
"I was born in 2002 AD," She replied, shaken. "I lived my life and then got transported to Coruscant in roughly 36,000 TYA. I must have stumbled across a force nexus or something, time got warped and I got spat out on the New Jedi Order's doorstep."
The force sang mournfully in her ear, hugging her.
"Oh dear," Madame Debois said. "Now that is a problem. I'm sorry, young one, but time moves only forward, never backward. I have been an archivist for force users for over 30 thousand years, one of the first force users to figure out how to seal their souls in the force echos of a Holocron, and I have never heard of someone returning to what they once lost."
Her heart ached for just a second before she gathered it all up and handed it over to the force. "Good thing I don't want to try and go back. I want to move forward and enjoy what I have left of my life."
Madame Debois arched a brow, "Such wisdom from one so young."
She snorted, "Adults don't do shit. I'm doing everything myself. So, where are all the books on the creation of this temple and its history?"
Madame Debois smiled, "Follow me, wise one."
Notes:
i NEED yall to know that in the original plan, she was going to run into a vampire. Like,, a creepy one that looked like a cross between gollum and that thing from Pan's Labyrinth and the vamps from Supernatural. I have no idea where this plot hook came from. It's a fun one, but what the fuck, this is my crack story why are there feelings and shit in here
Also:
Maria: "So I was exploring this sith temple and-"
Caleb: "WHAT SITH TEMPLE?"
Maria: "The one under the Jedi temple, honestly CD, keep up"
Caleb: "WHY?!"
Maria: "You're gone to war and with you, roughly 60% of my impulse control. Please come back soon before I commit arson."
Chapter 7: Fox thinks Maria should be a leash kidSummary:
Maria and The Corries is a great band name
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After a few months of Maria dropping in whenever she pleased, the Coruscant Guard was very familiar with her.
Fox, the absolute mother hen, has standing orders that if any trooper found her wandering Coruscant by herself, they were to either escort her back to the temple or to the station. They were far better at finding, following, and catching her than the Temple Guards, and after the fifth time, Master Gigom threw up xir hands and told the Guard that xe gave up on stopping her, they can just drop her off in the creche, no need to tell xem what she did.
Maria would have more sympathy for them if she wasn't a bit grumpy at the fact that she hasn't been able to go further down Coruscant's levels than a few stops at Jixy's and a handful of meetings with Howl in the midlevels. She'd tried to sneak onto one of the decrepit elevators that go down to where the light doesn't reach, hoping to find some vampires or the outer entrance of the Sith Temple that the Jedi Temple is built on, but a trooper always finds her before she can get too far.
Like today, where CT-23-6327, a new shiny straight off Kamino, had her thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and was casually making his way to the station with her while talking
"-and Kamino never trained me for the appropriate response to a civilian wanting to talk to my 'manager' because I couldn't change the price of a parking ticket! Honestly, I've only been here for two weeks and I would prefer to be on the frontlines."
Maria hummed thoughtfully from where she swayed limply. "Ah yes, nobody ever warns you about the Karens."
"Care-ins?"
"Karens. They're what my culture calls obnoxious people who mistreat workers. Unlucky to meet one in your first week."
"Oh," '27 said. "Any tips on dealing with them?"
"Smile politely, placate, lie and say someone is definitely going to be in trouble for whatever it is, and if they don't start calming down, run and make it someone else's problem. Your armor is still unpainted and you don't have a name, most people can't remember number strings for the life of them, they won't know who you are." She offered, remembering all those hours of working retail in a past life.
"Thanks," He patted her leg awkwardly. "You know, I've been trying to find a name, but I can't find something meaningful enough. Some of my brothers are happy to take whatever other vode call them, or go searching in a baby name list for something, but I want something a bit more special than that. You know?"
"Yeah…" She was using the force to stop all the blood flowing to her head, something she had learned after Yoda made the entire creche practice meditating on their heads. "I… I know a few special names, if you'd like to hear them?"
The shiny nearly tripped, "Really ma'am?! I would be honored to have a Jedi name me!"
She was not blushing. "Oh, ah, it's no problem. Do you want something more meaningful or religious? I only really know names from my culture, so-"
"That's fine, ma'am. I'm sure you'll find me something unique, after all, I've never heard the name 'Maria' before, and neither have any of my Guard vode."
"Maria is from a religious myth, it's one of the most common names on my planet. Mother Mary gave birth to Jesus, the son of God, who then sacrificed his life to save everyone else from damnation. Or so I got taught, I was always a bit more interested in the other stories of the other religions."
"Is it sacred to be named that? I think I would like a name from your story."
"Not at all! Now, let me list a few and you can tell me if you like any of them."
That's how Maria and the newly christened Isaac walked into the Guard station.
"Thire! A shiny grabbed Maria off the streets again!" Docu, one of the Guard's 'receptionists' hollered as soon as they were spotted.
"Hey Tio Thire," Maria called out when she sensed the commander near them, still slung over Isaac's shoulder. "Isaac's really good, he managed to catch me in the midlevels!"
"Isaac?" Thire echoed, confused.
"Me, sir. She named me a few minutes ago."
"Ah, it's a good name. Pass her over here, shiny, Commander Fox is doing his rounds in the senate, I'll look after her."
She was unceremoniously picked up and passed over, like some overgrown doll, and placed on the commander's hip. She blinked away the black spots that the sudden change in blood flow created. Hmm, maybe she should get her iron levels checked.
"What were you doing in the midlevels, Aran'ika?" He asked, walking away with her.
She smiled at the nickname, little guard . "I wanted to see if I could find any vampires in the lowerlevels."
"The bloodsucking monsters that turn to dust in sunlight?"
"Yep!"
"Why?"
"I'm curious."
Thire snorted, "Those two words are the cause of half of Fox's silver hairs."
"Is Fox'buir dealing with the Chancellor again?" She asked, as he set her down in his office and passed her a datapad, filled with paperwork that she would help the Guard commanders with.
"Fox'buir?" Someone choked behind them, and she turned to see a trooper she hadn't met before but definitely recognised. "Fox has been busy."
Thire laughed, "More like Fox has been busy running after her. Maria, meet Commander Cody of the 212th. Commander, meet Maria, the Guard's baby Jetii and Fox's favourite headache."
"I didn't know the Guard got assigned any Jetii, much less a padawan. Nice to meet you, sir."
"Ma'am," She corrected. "But only the shinies call me that. And I'm not assigned or a padawan, I'm just an escaped initiate that likes to visit the station."
"An escaped initiate that Fox is on the verge of saying the Gai Bal Manda to, and whose creche master has given up on containing and asks us to babysit whenever we catch her."
Poor Cody didn't know how to respond to that. "Right. Is Fox with the chancellor? The 212th is on shore leave for the next five-day, I wanted to catch up with him."
"He had a meeting with the chancellor this morning, but he already commed to tell me that's over and he's just doing his regular senate patrol. His shift ends in ten minutes, if you could go fetch him, make sure he doesn't overwork himself, that would be great." Thire said.
"Oh! Can I escort him? Please Tio! Pretty please!" Maria begged, turning pouty eyes onto Thire, who, while more resistant to her endearing bullshit, still couldn't say no to a tooka-eyed child.
"Fine, but don't insult any senators." He turned and pointed a finger at Cody, "Don't let her convince you to take any shortcuts. Hold her hand at all times. She'll run headfirst into oncoming traffic if she thinks the force wants her to."
"I deal with Generals Kenobi and Skywalker on the regular, I can handle an adiik." Cody crossed his arms.
--
Commander Cody could not handle an adiik.
"Kid, what is that?"
"A bug. I think Senator Yxir's aides are going to try and assassinate her, Guard can't do arrest anyone without proof, so…"
"So you're bugging their office?"
"If they commit treason first then my treason cancels out."
"That's not how it works," Cody sounded stressed. "Get out of their office now."
"One sec… Done!" She hurried out of the room and joined the commander back out into the hallway.
He looked down at her, "Do you do this often? What about the cameras?"