Chapter 93: Suzuki Satoru and the Curse of the Bell
Because Ren was diligently teaching Lucifer how to cook, the overall preparation speed for their staff dinner was a bit slower than usual. However, the results were well worth the delay.
After revealing her true feelings on the Ferris wheel, Lucifer was noticeably less prickly and significantly more gentle. When she handled the ingredients—washing the bok choy, chopping the scallions—she truly looked somewhat domestic, her movements careful and precise rather than haughty. She even hummed a little tune under her breath, a melody she had heard from the amusement park speakers.
But precisely because the pace was a bit slower, by the time dinner was all prepared, it was already quite a while after the usual opening hours.
Lucifer wiped her hands on her apron, looking at the table full of dishes she had made with Ren's help. A great sense of accomplishment swelled in her chest. She, the Queen of Hell who once burned civilizations, had successfully braised pork.
"Not bad," she murmured, trying to sound casual but failing to hide her pride. "It looks... edible."
Cerberus, on the other hand, had been waiting so long that she was practically drooling onto the floor. Her tail thumped rhythmically against the chair leg like a metronome of hunger.
How could you make a canine stare at a plate of fragrant, beautifully colored Red Braised Pork—glistening with soy sauce and rock sugar glaze, trembling with tenderness—and not let her eat it, only watch?
Isn't that tormenting a doggy~?
"Master... meat... meat calling me..." Cerberus whimpered.
After everything was ready, Ren didn't sit down immediately. Instead, he leaned against the kitchen doorframe, wiping his hands on a towel. "You guys eat first, I'll wait a bit~. I have a feeling."
Lucifer paused, her fork hovering over a piece of pork. She looked at him tentatively. "That curse... isn't that just a coincidence? You want to try it again?"
Ren smiled and shook his head mysteriously.
Cerberus had heard about the "curse" for the second time—the phenomenon where Ren would sit down to eat and immediately be interrupted by a customer. It had happened so often it was basically a law of physics in this shop. She was very curious what kind of curse it was that even Lucifer, the Queen of Hell, couldn't dispel with her authority.
After Ren finally sat down, Lucifer and Cerberus stared intently at him. Their forks were poised, waiting for the universe to strike.
Ren picked up his chopsticks. He reached for a piece of crisp lettuce.
Crunch.
Nothing happened. The bell remained silent.
He chewed. He swallowed.
"See?" Ren smiled, reaching for another piece. "It's just a superstition. Pure coincidence. The universe doesn't revolve around my dinner schedule."
Just as his chopsticks touched the pork...
Ding-dong~
The bell chimed. The door opened.
"No way! Is it really that effective?!" Cerberus shouted, dropping her fork onto the plate with a clatter. "The curse is real!"
Lucifer narrowed her crimson eyes. "It seems to be a law of causality. Even I cannot interfere with the hunger of mortals. It defies my jurisdiction."
Ren sighed, put down his chopsticks with a resigned but amused smile, and stood up. He looked towards the door.
But when he saw the person who arrived, he paused. Then his smile turned genuine. "I didn't expect you to have weekends off too? I thought corporate overlords worked 24/7."
A tall man walked in. He looked like an ordinary salaryman in a suit, but his aura was heavy with exhaustion. His shoulders were slumped, and there were dark circles under his eyes that spoke of endless overtime and soul-crushing meetings.
Suzuki Satoru. (Also known in the gaming world as Momonga, the Guild Master of Ainz Ooal Gown).
The man let out a sigh of relief, loosening his tie as he stepped into the warmth. "I'm not as busy as you say, Ren-san. It just so happens that I had more paperwork to do than usual. After all, living alone is always a bit busier. And leading a guild... well, it's a second job that pays in stress."
Ren smiled and said, "If you could relax a bit more, then your game character would probably be even more powerful~. Stress affects gaming performance. Reaction times slow down. After all, there aren't many people who can play a game like you do—managing logistics and strategy simultaneously while tanking hits."
The man waved his hand dismissively, finding a seat at the counter. "That's true, but I'm also very helpless. You're the only Level 15 in the guild who plays casually, and you're an Elf Ranger with a cooking subclass. I'm really impressed with you. I've been messaged several times by the guild members asking who you are~. They think you're a secret pro smurfing."
Ren thought for a moment. "Probably no time to be a pro. And I just wander around different maps after doing a few dungeons~. I enjoy the scenery more than the grind. The developers put a lot of work into the sunsets."
Suzuki Satoru looked exasperated. "Yeah, that's why you have to rely on pure mechanical skill to fight even a mutated Slime King... If Albedo hadn't been assigned to you as a support NPC, you would have become the slimes' experience points long ago. I really don't know if you're clearing dungeons or if dungeons are clearing you~."
(Cough cough cough... Albedo...)
Ren coughed lightly, avoiding eye contact. "It's fine, Albedo and I split experience, I just watch. She's very... enthusiastic about protecting me. A bit too enthusiastic. I suddenly feel like being a priest or something similar would be nice next time, just standing back and adding buffs~. Less aggro."
The man held his forehead, groaning. "If you really became a priest, I feel like I'd have to send the entire Battle Maid Squad to protect you... You attract too much aggro just by existing. It's a hidden racial trait."
"Not that bad, not that bad—Albedo is very reliable. And besides, I can still summon you, Momonga."
The man covered his face with his hands, blushing slightly. "Don't call me that name in the real world! It's embarrassing! I'm just a salaryman here! Satoru! Call me Satoru!"
"Alright, alright. Mr. Suzuki Satoru~."
"You really get on my nerves," Suzuki sighed, but there was a smile in his voice. "Oh, right, I almost forgot. I suddenly got a large bonus check and I'm starving. Can I order now?"
Ren nodded and smiled, stepping behind the counter. "Of course. Are you still having the usual? Katsudon?"
Suzuki Satoru thought for a moment, rubbing his chin stubble. "No, today I want to eat some meat... something spicy to wake me up. My taste buds are dead from cafeteria food. Do you have any recommendations?"
"What cuisine?"
"Chinese Cuisine. Something with richer flavors~. Szechuan, maybe? Something that punches back."
Ren nodded, then thought of something and smiled mischievously. "Can you eat spicy food? Real spice? Or just 'Japanese spicy'?"
"Of course," Suzuki puffed out his chest. "I am the ruler of Nazarick! I have poison resistance! Are you making Sichuan Cuisine?"
"Isn't this what you want to eat?"
"Yes! Hit me with your best shot. I need to feel alive."
Suzuki Satoru nodded, settled onto the stool, and started fiddling with his phone. Or more accurately, he was writing a strategy guide for the next raid on his notes app.
He was a salesman in real life, usually busy to death with work, and all alone with no real-world friends. It wasn't until he encountered a DMMO-RPG game called Yggdrasil that his monotonous life gained some color.
Because of this lifestyle, he especially cherished his friendships with guild members online. Of course, in real life, he also had friends—precisely one: Ren, who was currently preparing his meal in the kitchen.
Speaking of which, it was quite coincidental how they met. Suzuki Satoru was so engrossed in reading a game guide while walking home after work that he took a wrong turn, ended up in this alley, and naturally became a regular customer of this Restaurant. It was fate, or perhaps a glitch in the matrix.
When Ren brought him a glass of ice water, he saw Suzuki writing a guide on "Optimal Tank Positioning for the Shalltear Raid."
Ren glanced at the screen. "I remember this game is called Yggdrasil, right~?"
This sentence made Suzuki Satoru's eyes light up instantly. How do you find common ground with someone who has no friends and is a hardcore game otaku?
It's simple: talk about games.
No matter how socially anxious or clueless about interacting with people a game otaku might be, when you talk to him about his game, he will definitely ignite a passion he usually doesn't have.
"Yes! The new update just dropped! They added a new layer to the dungeon!" Suzuki started explaining the patch notes with enthusiasm, his fatigue forgotten.
Meanwhile, at the dining table.
Lucifer sighed, holding her forehead. She poked her bowl of braised pork with her chopsticks, then put them down.
Cerberus's eyes were fixed on the meat, almost going cross-eyed. She was frantically swallowing saliva, her tail wagging a mile a minute under the table.
Ren poked his head out from the kitchen, chopping knife in hand. "You two eat first. Don't wait for me. There should be quite a few customers tonight. If we wait any longer, Cerberus will be crying from hunger~."
Lucifer nodded helplessly. "Fine. Go ahead, glutton."
Cerberus immediately picked up her rice bowl and started wolfing down her food. "Thank you, Lucifer! Thank you, Master! Itadakimasu!"
For canids, what could be happier than eating meat?
Lucifer originally wanted to eat with Ren—it was a romantic notion she had nurtured all day. Or more accurately, she wanted to know how her cooking turned out and hear his praise directly. She really wanted Ren's evaluation.
"It should taste pretty good, right...?" she murmured, taking a small bite of the pork she had braised.
The flavor exploded in her mouth—sweet, savory, meltingly tender. Lucifer herself thought it tasted pretty good. After all, Ren had guided her throughout the process, so it couldn't be too bad. And seeing Cerberus eat so heartily (the dog was already on her second bowl), it shouldn't be unappetizing.
Just as Lucifer was about to pick up her chopsticks again to enjoy her meal properly, the door opened again.
Ding-dong~
Lucifer turned her head.
A black-haired girl pushed open the door and then silently stepped aside, holding it open like a servant. It was Sayaka Igarashi, looking efficient and slightly nervous.
Followed by a girl with platinum blonde twin braided buns walking in with the grace of a predator.
Momobami Kirari.
The moment he saw the girl, Suzuki Satoru froze. He stopped typing mid-sentence. He looked at the reflection in his water glass.
Her.
He never expected that after several months of avoiding high-society gambling dens (where he once lost a rare item), he would actually run into this dangerous woman again!
Ren walked out of the kitchen, saw the newcomer, and his mouth twitched slightly. "Kirari... you really came..."
Kirari smiled, her blue lips curving dangerously. "Am I not welcome, Ren?"
"Of course you're welcome, but I didn't expect you to come so early. The night is young."
"Because I want to have a good talk with Sonoko~. And taste your cooking. I hear you made something special today."
Momobami Kirari finished speaking and looked at Lucifer and Cerberus. Her blue eyes scanned them, lingering on Lucifer's apron.
"Good evening, Lucifer, Cerberus~. Enjoying domestic life? It suits you."
Suddenly, the air in the restaurant felt a lot heavier. And Suzuki Satoru just wanted to turn invisible.
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