Lynn woke up but didn't bounce out of bed. It was still dark outside—Hogwarts classes didn't kick off till 9 a.m., and first-year schedules were chill as hell. Barely any homework.
Gave newbies tons of time to poke around the castle and get the vibe. Hogwarts was basically "happy education" on steroids—if you didn't grind on your own, you'd graduate knowing just enough to not blow yourself up in Diagon Alley.
Where the hell am I gonna scrape up cash?
Three weeks till Autumn's birthday. Didn't know before? Fine. Know now? Gift's mandatory.
But his pockets were drier than a desert. Still had maybe two grand in pounds, but Muggle money's worthless in wizard world. Galleons? Torched 'em all in Diagon Alley on books and supplies. Even second-hand tomes from the junk shop added up.
If Ollivander hadn't hooked him up with starter wandcraft books, just the intro texts would've bankrupted him. Alchemy branches? Upfront costs that'd make your eyes water.
Borrow from Harley? Nah. Or teleport out, cash pounds for gold, swap for Galleons?
"Pain in the ass. Chain-teleporting's exhausting. I can't Apparate. London's 400 damn miles away—I'd collapse halfway."
Wish Autumn was born December 25th. One gift, two birds.
He grumbled, kicked off the covers, and escaped the warm cocoon. Late summer was gone; mornings were freezing now. Harley and Autumn were still rocking sundresses a week ago. Today? Coat or bust.
Rubbed his hands, brushed teeth. Rest of the dorm started stirring.
"Morning, Lynn."
Neville—closest to the sink—sat up, rubbing eyes, yawning like a bear. Chubby face pure confusion.
"Where's my robe?"
He patted around. Nada.
"House-elves probably grabbed it for laundry." Lynn pointed at the wardrobe. "Check there."
"Score." Neville hopped down, yanked it open. Robe: found. "Grandma bought me like five, scared I'd lose 'em. Forgot to pack extras. Only brought one."
"Nev, you gotta fix that scatterbrain shit," Seamus said, pulling his robe over his head. "Dean hadn't spotted your bag yesterday, you'd have left it in the common room."
"Sorry…" Neville grinned sheepishly. "I try…"
"Want a hack?"
Lynn stopped by Neville's bed, dug in his bag, and pulled out the goods.
[Dang-dang-dang-dang, dang~~ dang-dang~]
[Owner Stickers~]
"Slap one of these on anything. Say 'come back'—poof, it flies to you. Never lose shit again."
"Two sheets, 24 stickers. Plenty. Tag your books, wand, whatever you always forget."
"YES!"
Neville whooped, cradling the box like treasure.
"Better than a Remembrall for Neville!" Seamus gasped. Wizard world expert mode. "Where'd you buy these? Diagon Alley?"
"Nope. England? Nope. One-of-a-kind."
"Too fancy…" Neville hesitated.
"Call it early Christmas."
"Best Christmas gift ever, Lynn!"
Neville beamed. Gonna top this for him on actual Christmas.
"My magic pocket ain't infinite," Lynn patted his robe. "But feel free to call me Dora-Lynn Dream."
"Hall for breakfast. Later."
"Later, Dora-Lynn Dream!"
Once Lynn bounced, Seamus and Dean swarmed Neville. "Sticker the book—test it!"
Ron, lurking, shot Neville a jealous glare. "Big whoop."
Lynn chilled in the common room a few minutes. Then Harley descended the stairs like a queen, arm-in-arm with two girls: Hermione on the left, Parvati—twin sister, the older one—on the right. Indian Brahmin, but pale as hell. High-caste Aryans, yo.
"Yo, new girlfriends, Harley?"
Lynn stood, smirking.
"Duh. Parvati's gorgeous. Bestie material."
Parvati blushed, sweet smile. Harley was a vibe—outgoing, hot, zero filter. Girls loved her. Haters stayed mad and far away. She rolled with the pretty crowd.
Quick intros, then the squad rolled to the Great Hall. Breakfast spread: game on.
"Parvati, random question—cool if I ask?"
"Shoot." She set down her fork, looking at Lynn next to Harley.
"How'd you end up at Hogwarts? India's got magic schools, right?"
"Yeah. Dad works here, so… Hogwarts. Mom says India's schools suck."
"But it's wild. Most wizards there don't use wands. Or just some do. Majority rock these short, chunky staffs. Spells? They hop around, dance, chant like monks—ommm—super fun. Saw it when we visited."
"Downside? Hygiene's trash. Grew up in Manchester. Parents been here forever. Can't deal with them using cow… uh… never mind. Eat up."
She waved like shooing a fart.
"Cow what?" Harley, curiosity maxed.
"Finish eating first," Lynn said, chugging hot milk to brace.
"…Fine."
Harley pouted, attacked her jam toast.
Post-meal, en route to Transfiguration, she circled back.
"So…?"
Parvati winced. "Promise I never did it."
"Spill."
"Newbies get a 'baptism.' Smear Aditi's… droppings. Then dunk in the holy river to cleanse the soul."
"Whose droppings?!"
Harley gagged. Anything's poop is gross.
"Aditi's the unbound mother goddess. Aka cow. Hinduism says cow dung purifies," Lynn explained.
"BLEGH."
Harley dry-heaved, face a meme.
"That's why I'm at Hogwarts," Parvati shrugged, innocent. "Dad swears the holy cows eat herbs, not grass. But… herbs, grass—same diff, right?"
"Thank God you're here, Parvati. Stay smelling like roses forever."
"Deal."