You know those losers, right?
The ones who get rejected by a classmate… and then run off to the military?
Honestly, I never understood it. I mean, it's not like they were dating and broke up—so why get so crushed over a single rejection?
Even worse, confessing right after enrollment and then enlisting? That's beyond stupid.
'And that idiot is ME! Goddammit!'
"I'm sorry, Leon. You're a good person, but I just don't see you that way."
Past me really had the audacity to confess after just one month at the Academy.
In front of everyone, no less.
To this day, I still wonder what gave me that confidence.
Did someone spike my lunch?
"I'm really sorry. I'd prefer if you didn't make things uncomfortable like this anymore."
With whatever scraps of male pride I had left, I forced a laugh and said,
"Haha! I understand!"
Then backed off as coolly as possible.
And then? I immediately filed for a leave of absence.
After just one month of enrollment.
Hehe.
Crazy bastard.
But what happened next was even more legendary.
Without telling my family, I applied for military service.
A nobleman volunteering for the military is already ridiculous—but applying as a common soldier instead of an officer?
That alone was insane enough… but what happened afterward was even more unbelievable.
The Empire's War Ministry actually accepted my enlistment with open arms!
A noble enlisting as a common soldier instead of taking an officer's position?
Of course they welcomed me—this was perfect propaganda material.
"The son of an imperial noble has enlisted as a common soldier to set an example!"
"This is the class of the Empire! See that, you worms?!"
…Yeah. I'll admit it. That's the kind of headline that would make the Public Information Department roll their eyes back in ecstasy.
Anyway, that's how past me—brilliant, utterly foolish me—ended up becoming a private first class despite being from a high-ranking noble family.
Naturally, the moment I joined my assigned unit, I was greeted with suspicious glares.
"What the hell? I was excited about getting a fresh recruit, and they send us a young master?"
"Hey, is this guy some undercover officer or something?"
"Just my damn luck… I get this mess at the end of my service."
I didn't even have time to memorize my seniors' names before war suddenly broke out, and our unit was thrown straight onto the battlefield.
And there, I spent three years suffering like a dog—rolling in mud, bleeding into the dirt, and questioning every decision that led me there.
If I could, I'd strangle my past self.
Ah—if you're wondering why I keep saying "past self," it's because everything changed after I took a magic blast to the head and smashed into a rock hard enough to rattle my skull.
That's when the memories of my past life came flooding back.
And that's when I realized just how screwed I really was.
In my previous life, I lived in a world called Earth, and this world is from a book I read back then.
And of all things, it wasn't even a game-like world or a power fantasy—
it was a romance fantasy.
Crazy bastard. If I had to read something, why couldn't it have been about hypnotizing women?
Or at least a power fantasy where you fly around shooting beams like some overpowered maniac.
But no, it had to be a romance fantasy.
And I'm not even the protagonist or a supporting character—just a nobody among nobodies.
To make it worse, I even got the early-role privilege of being rejected by the female lead.
Life truly is a tragedy whether viewed from afar or up close.
"Hey, you!"
"Yes, Instructor."
"Were you dozing off while drinking coffee? Did you do that in the military too?"
Coffee?
In the military?
What coffee in the military?
Not for a common soldier. Only officers got that luxury.
If I had said, "I'd like some coffee," I would've immediately been kicked in the back of the head.
And the bonus lecture would've been:
"From this moment on, you're not a noble's son! You're just a chick! A private nobody!"
"Still, you made it back in one piece," Senior Marcus said.
He wasn't wrong.
I was one of the fortunate ones.
At least I didn't return with crippled limbs…
or just a dog tag, like some others.
"Was military life bearable?"
"What's the point in saying it? It was shit."
"Wow, you really talk like a soldier now. I guess being an officer suited you?"
Ah, damn it.
Do I really have to explain everything from the beginning?
"I wasn't an officer, senior."
"Huh?"
"I enlisted as a common soldier."
An awkward silence drops between Marcus and me.
Alright, let me predict what he'll say next with my past life memories.
It'll definitely be something like—
'What the hell? Is this guy insane?'
"What the hell? Is this guy insane? You're joking, right?"
Oh. Nailed it.
"Sadly, I'm serious."
"...If that's true, then you're either crazy, or really crazy. One of the two."
What kind of choice is that?
Both options are literally "crazy."
He could've at least said "crazy or slightly less crazy."
"You really enlisted as a common soldier?"
"Yes."
"A noble's son?"
"Yes."
"And you even went to the battlefield?"
"I did."
I take a slow sip of my coffee and nod.
Marcus lets out a heavy sigh.
That expression he's making—the one that screams, 'What kind of crazy person is this?'—
It's exactly the same as the professor's earlier.
"..Did you actually suffer a head injury?"
"I almost did after taking a magic blast on the battlefield."
"This guy, he's really out of his mind."
It's almost insulting, but I can't refute it because it's too sad.
Past me, what on earth were you thinking when you applied to be a common soldier?
Damn it.