That changing room
Their touches
The way she gave in like it was the only thing to do
But it wasn't a dream
Not when her legs hurt like they remembered every moment
Not when her lips still felt big from the way Andrew kissed her
And Not when her mind kept replaying Damon's hands on her waist
She sat up slowly, pulling the blanket more tightly around her, even though no one was there
Why did she let it happen again?
She had set rules
She'd told herself this would not keep happening
And still, it did
Kareen rubbed her head, trying to breathe through the tight feeling in her stomach
She had said one night
Just One
And now she was deep in something she couldn't describe, something exciting and messy and risky, like a hidden fire ready to ruin her life if anyone got too close
She looked toward her phone on the bedside table
A mistake
The screen was covered in alerts, unread messages piled up one after another
She gasped when she saw the name
Collins
Again
And again
And again
She grabbed the phone, unlocking it only to see a lot of desperate messages
"Kareen please"
"We need to talk"
"I miss you"
"You know I didn't mean it"
"That necklace didn't mean anything"
"I was drunk"
"She didn't matter"
Kareen tightened her jaw,
That necklace was all that was left of her mother, and he gave it to some other woman like it was nothing
She didn't reply
She didn't want his apologies, or excuses, or that nice voice that used to make her give in
Not anymore
Not after Tokyo
Not after everything
She threw the phone aside and stood up, walking to the mirror, looking at herself with a sigh
How long could she keep doing this?
How long could she pretend she wasn't pulled to Damon's darkness and Andrew's spark?
How long before her job — her career — broke under the weight of what they'd done in secret?
Her chest felt tight
She didn't have answers
She only felt excitement, and guilt, and the fear of being discovered
And the worst thing was, she didn't regret it
Not the kiss
Not the touches
Not the moment her name came from her mouth in a whisper that wasn't even for herself
She splashed water on her face, hoping to get rid of the memory
But it stayed
Like their touch had marked itself on her skin
By the time she got to the studio later that morning, Kareen had covered herself in calmness
Neat ponytail
Plain lipstick
Eyes hidden behind large sunglasses
The day was already underway, people were fixing models' hair, a corner held fabric being steamed, and photographers were setting up the lights, she usually vanished into this fast-paced scene without being noticed
But not today
It felt like something was not right when she got off the elevator
There was a change in the sounds
People were whispering
She could feel someone looking at her before she even saw him
He was standing by the front desk as if he was supposed to be there, as if he hadn't ruined her life and taken away her mother's memory, giving it to someone else
Collins
She felt tightness in her chest
He had that same annoying smile, the one he always used to get out of bad situations
"Kareen," he said, acting like they were old friends meeting up
She stood still
She wanted to yell not here
Not now
But he kept going
He walked across the lobby like nothing was wrong, his hands in his pockets, acting confident, as if he hadn't hurt her in the worst way possible
"You haven't been answering my messages," he said, smiling, "That's not like you"
Kareen didn't move
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice sounding sharp
He moved closer
"I missed you, I messed up, okay? I had too much to drink, I didn't want to hurt you"
"You gave away my mother's necklace," she said, her voice quiet but firm, "That wasn't a mistake, that was something you chose to do"
Collins made a sound of disbelief, trying to laugh
"Are you really going to keep bringing that up forever? Come on, let's talk, just us, We were great together, Kareen, don't act like you don't remember"
People were now beginning to look at them,
Some models quietly talked about it while holding their coffee
A hair expert stopped moving
Kareen was unconcerned
Not at this moment
She moved ahead, raising her hand
And hit him
With force
The sound echoed loudly, like thunder, and everyone looked immediately
Collins' head moved suddenly to the side
He stood there shocked, with wide eyes and a red cheek
Kareen did not move
"That was for my mom," she stated calmly, "And for assuming you could just come back like nothing happened"
She quickly turned around, her heels clicking loudly, standing up straight
Inside, she was shaking
But on the outside, she was fierce
The hallway seemed longer than normal
Kareen's heels echoed like periods at the end of a sentence that surprised everyone, even the interns staring near the printer, the hair experts who froze, and the marketing person who spilled coffee while watching
And especially not Collins, still standing in the lobby holding his face, his ego completely destroyed
Kareen didn't pause
She didn't turn around
But the anger inside her was changing into something worse
Guilt
Not for hitting him
Not even because people saw
But because it took her so long to do it
She walked into the nearest room and closed the door hard, leaning against it while pressing her head to the cool wood
She was breathing quickly
The noise from outside was quieter now, but it did not stop her thoughts
What was Collins thinking?
How did he find her?
Who allowed him to enter?
She wanted to yell
But instead, she sat on the bench and put her head in her hands
Just a few days before, she felt calm, almost like a robot, work, shoot, smile, repeat
Now it was ready to explode
She had broken her own rules
Twice
With two men who were not only strong, but close to exposing her
And now Collins, her ex, her mistake, her regret , returned like a ghost at the perfect moment
She felt like she was losing control
Of how people saw her
Her feelings
Her body
Her life story
And it made her afraid
A gentle knock came at the door
Her heart raced, and for a second, she thought it might be Collins again
"Don't even try," she said, without looking up
"It's not him," a voice said
Damon
Of course it was,
She didn't say anything,
The door opened anyway,
He walked inside, calm, focused, his presence taking over the room before he was even halfway in
He didn't speak right away, just watched her, arms crossed, and his shoulders relaxed, as if he hadn't just watched her hit someone in front of many people
"You okay?" he finally asked
She looked up, laughing in a sad way
"That's what you ask?"
"I thought saying 'Are you crazy?' could seem unkind," he stated plainly,
She was standing,
The anger was still there, it just looked different now.
"Did you see that?"
"Everyone saw it," he replied,
She made a noise of annoyance, moving hair away from her face,
"I don't care," she mumbled, "He had it coming, and even worse."
Damon moved his head up and down,
"He did," he said, "Even so, it was brave to do with cameras watching."
"I'm finished keeping things secret," she told him, walking by him to the mirror.
He didn't try to hold her back.
He didn't tell her she was wrong.
But when she looked at him again, she noticed something else in how he looked at her.
It wasn't disapproval.
It was passion.
"Do you know what I just figured out from watching that?" he questioned
She lifted one eyebrow
"That you are into women who have sharp hands?"
"That I have never seen you seem more full of life," he stated plainly, "And it made me a bit afraid"
"Why is that?"
"Because seeing you like that made me desire you even more," he answered
Her breathing hitched
She should have asked him to go away
She should have turned and left
But instead, she just remained standing there
Bathing in the way his eyes looked at her as if she was fire and he was already burning
A tap on the door broke the tense silence
Andrew poked his head in a moment later, eyebrows raised
"Did I miss something interesting?" he wondered, looking back and forth between them
Kareen rolled her eyes
"Collins showed his face," she whispered, "I hit him"
Andrew grinned right away
"I wish I had been there to see that"
"You would have been cheering," Damon mumbled
"I would have recorded it," Andrew responded
The tension eased up a tiny bit, but the atmosphere was still heavy
Kareen folded her arms, feeling cold all of a sudden
"I don't want either of you watching over me," she declared, "This isn't a problem you caused"
"Maybe that's true," Andrew stated softly, "But we're involved now anyway"
"Very involved," Damon threw in
She looked from one to the other
Two men who had become a way for her to get away
Something that made her weak
And maybe even something that tempted her
And at this moment, they stood there as if they had no plans to let her walk away
Kareen sighed and leaned her back against the wall
"I have no idea what this is," she confessed, "But if it makes me lose everything, it won't be worth it"
Damon moved his head up and down once
Andrew took a step forward
"Then let's be sure that doesn't happen," he suggested, speaking more quietly, "Whatever this is, we will deal with it how we want to, not how they want us to"
She didn't say anything else
But for the first time since she hit him, she didn't feel totally by herself