Chūnin Exam Arena --- Konoha
After the weight of the Akatsuki ranking---
After Pain's evaluation and Nagato going quiet in Rain Country and Jiraiya sitting in the audience with his book closed for the first time all day---
The scroll did something nobody expected.
It opened the lightest-looking section yet.
The title appeared in gold that somehow looked more cheerful than the other golds:
[Best Rivals Ranking: The Duos That Made Each Other Greater.]
[Note: The scroll defines "rival" as two people who made each other better by refusing to stop competing. This is different from "enemy." The distinction matters.]
One second of silence.
Then the arena became very loud very fast.
Group Chat:
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: RIVALS RANKING!! MADARA!! THIS IS OURS!! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY OURS!!]
[Uchiha Madara: Obviously.]
[Uchiha Madara: Don't shout.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: HOW CAN I NOT SHOUT!! WE'RE GOING TO BE ON THE RIVALS RANKING!! MADARA!! WE'RE RIVALS!! OFFICIALLY!! THE SCROLL SAYS SO!!]
[Uchiha Madara: We have always been rivals. The scroll confirming it changes nothing.]
[Uchiha Madara: ...]
[Uchiha Madara: What placement do you think we'll get.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: FIRST PLACE OBVIOUSLY!! WHO COULD POSSIBLY BEAT US!!]
[Uchiha Madara: Agreed. Obviously first.]
[Uzumaki Mito: Husband. You're shouting again.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: MITO!! WE'RE GOING TO BE FIRST ON THE RIVALS RANKING!!]
[Uzumaki Mito: I can hear you. You're standing next to me.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: HAHAHAHA!!]
Konoha --- Chūnin Exam Arena
Guy had stood up.
Not doing push-ups.
Standing.
Fully upright.
Eyes burning.
"Kakashi," he said.
Kakashi turned a page of his book.
He wasn't reading it.
He hadn't been reading it for two hours.
But the performance was important.
"Rivals ranking," Guy continued.
"I see it."
"Kakashi. You and I."
"I know, Guy."
"WE ARE GOING TO BE ON THAT LIST."
"Probably."
"KAKASHI!! SHOW SOME ENTHUSIASM!!"
"This is my enthusiasm face."
"YOUR FACE LOOKS THE SAME AS YOUR BORED FACE!!"
"Yes. That's what enthusiasm looks like on me."
Guy made a sound that was too large for human language and grabbed Kakashi around the neck with both arms.
"MY ETERNAL RIVAL!! THIS IS THE MOMENT WE WERE BORN FOR!!"
"Guy. I am unable to breathe."
"THE RIVALS RANKING!! OUR BOND WILL BE IMMORTALIZED!!"
"Guy. Breathing."
"YOSH!!"
"Guy."
"YOSH!!"
The rankings began from the bottom.
10th through 5th filled quickly:
The First and Second Raikage for transforming inter-generational rivalry into institutional competition.
Chiyo and Tsunade for their battle during the Kazekage Rescue, described as two masters of entirely different medical philosophies colliding with the clarity of people who respect each other precisely enough to fight without holding back.
Might Guy and Rock Lee at 7th for the teacher who became a student by teaching --- Guy improved fastest when Lee was chasing him.
Orochimaru and Jiraiya at 6th.
Sasuke's parents for 5th, which made Sasuke's eyes go very still for a different reason than usual.
Group Chat:
[Uchiha Mikoto: Dear!! We're on the rivals ranking!!]
[Uchiha Fugaku: We're --- what?]
[Uchiha Mikoto: Fifth place!! Husband!! We're rivals!!]
[Uchiha Fugaku: We're--- Mikoto, we're married.]
[Uchiha Mikoto: AND rivals!! The scroll says we pushed each other!! It says you became Clan Head because I kept outperforming you in the Academy and you refused to accept it!!]
[Uchiha Fugaku: ...That's private.]
[Uchiha Mikoto: The scroll doesn't care about private, dear.]
[Uchiha Fugaku: I can see that.]
[Uchiha Izuna: Brother!! Uncle Fugaku and Aunt Mikoto are rivals!!]
[Uchiha Madara: ...This family.]
Konoha --- Chūnin Exam Arena
Sasuke read his parents' entry.
His mother had outperformed his father in the Academy.
His father had refused to accept it.
They'd pushed each other until both were the strongest shinobi the Uchiha clan had produced in their generation.
He looked at his hands.
He hadn't known that.
He'd known his father was the Clan Head and his mother was warm and his brother was a prodigy.
He hadn't known his parents had spent their early careers refusing to let each other plateau.
They were rivals, he thought.
And then they were married.
And they never stopped.
Something about that settled in him quietly.
Not loudly.
Just settled.
He glanced sideways at Naruto.
Who was eating something and watching the scroll and having some kind of argument with himself about whether the rivals ranking criteria was fair.
Sasuke looked away.
Said nothing.
4th Place:
[4th Place: Jiraiya and Orochimaru --- Legendary Sannin.]
[Two people who started from the same point, followed opposite philosophies as far as they could go, and in doing so mapped the entire space between idealism and pragmatism.]
[Their rivalry ended when Orochimaru chose his path over his teammate. But the scroll notes: a rivalry doesn't require the rivals to still be on speaking terms.]
[What they made of each other --- the hope Jiraiya kept alive against Orochimaru's cynicism, the rigor Orochimaru maintained against Jiraiya's sentiment --- those things exist in their students now.]
[You can still be shaped by someone you no longer know.]
Group Chat:
[Jiraiya: ...Fourth.]
[Orochimaru: Fourth.]
[Jiraiya: We got the same placement.]
[Orochimaru: Yes.]
[Jiraiya: Appropriate.]
[Orochimaru: ...Yes.]
A pause.
[Orochimaru: You can still be shaped by someone you no longer know.]
[Jiraiya: Yeah.]
[Orochimaru: ...I have research notes on you. From the last forty years. Things I noticed that I never told you.]
[Jiraiya: ...Same.]
[Orochimaru: Hm.]
[Jiraiya: Hm.]
Kabuto, watching Orochimaru read the chat, carefully wrote in his notepad: Orochimaru is having a feeling. Do not disturb.
He underlined it twice.
3rd Place:
[3rd Place: Might Guy and Kakashi Hatake --- Hidden Leaf Village.]
[The scroll acknowledges this rivalry is technically lopsided: Kakashi has won more engagements.]
[It ranks them 3rd anyway.]
[Because what Guy did for Kakashi --- which the scroll will now state plainly for the first time --- was keep him alive.]
[Not in combat. In the years after Obito and Rin, when Kakashi Hatake became someone who showed up and completed missions and said nothing about anything that mattered.]
[Guy kept showing up louder than the silence.]
[He declared himself Kakashi's rival without asking permission and then proceeded to act like Kakashi's life was worth competing for.]
[The scroll rates this as a greater contribution to the next era than any number of combat victories.]
[Reward: One each --- Eternal Rival Seal. When one holder is in mortal danger, the other feels it regardless of distance.]
Konoha --- Chūnin Exam Arena
Guy had stopped mid-enthusiastic-shout.
He'd started shouting when 3rd place appeared.
Mid-shout, he'd read the evaluation.
He'd stopped.
He was standing very still now.
Which was, again, the most alarming possible thing Guy could do.
Kakashi had read it too.
He kept showing up louder than the silence.
He'd closed his book somewhere around the third line and hadn't reopened it.
"Guy," he said.
"Mm," said Guy. Very quiet.
"You never told me that's what you were doing."
"I wasn't doing it for a reason," Guy said. His voice was doing something unusual. "You were my rival. Rivals show up. That's what rivals do."
Kakashi looked at him.
At the man who had declared himself his rival before Kakashi had agreed to the designation.
Who had kept score of a competition that only one of them was tracking.
Who had, apparently without knowing it, held on loud enough that Kakashi couldn't quite let go.
"...You're going to make this emotional," Kakashi said.
"I'm NOT," Guy said, immediately wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm ABSOLUTELY NOT---this is SWEAT---I've been doing PUSH-UPS---"
"You haven't done push-ups in ten minutes."
"I HAVE IN MY HEART---"
"Guy."
"WHAT."
"...Thank you."
Guy made a noise like a dam breaking and grabbed Kakashi around the neck again.
"MY ETERNAL RIVAL!! I KNEW IT!! I ALWAYS KNEW IT!! OUR BOND IS UNBREAKABLE!!"
"I can feel the Eternal Rival Seal forming and I'm not sure that's medically normal---"
"IT'S THE POWER OF YOUTH!!"
Naruto watched this from four rows forward.
"...I want a rival seal," he said.
Sasuke, very quietly: "You have enough things."
"The SEAL though---"
"Naruto."
"What?"
"You have a Nine-Tails harmony token, a Sage Imprint, and a Future Pillar ranking. You're fine."
"But the SEAL---"
"NARUTO."
"Okay. Fine."
2nd Place:
[2nd Place: Hashirama Senju and Uchiha Madara.]
Group Chat:
[Uchiha Madara: ...Second.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: ...Second?]
[Uchiha Madara: SECOND?!]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: WHO IS ABOVE US?!]
The scroll provided the 1st place entry before either of them could work themselves into a full crisis.
[1st Place.]
[Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke.]
[...]
[Too early to rank. Come back in ten years.]
[You'll understand then.]
Complete silence.
Then:
Group Chat:
[Uchiha Madara: THEY'RE NOT EVEN RANKED YET AND THEY'RE FIRST?!]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: THE SCROLL PUT THEM ABOVE US AS PLACEHOLDER?!]
[Uchiha Madara: HASHIRAMA!!]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: MADARA!!]
[Uchiha Madara: WE FOUGHT FOR DECADES!! THOSE TWO HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR FIVE YEARS!!]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: AND ONE OF THEM HASN'T EVEN AWAKENED HIS FULL POWER YET!!]
[Uchiha Madara: THE SCROLL IS BROKEN!!]
[Second Hokage Tobirama Senju: The scroll is not broken. It said "come back in ten years." It's a reservation.]
[Uchiha Madara: A RESERVATION?!]
[Second Hokage Tobirama Senju: For first place. Yes. It's holding the slot.]
[Uchiha Madara: ...]
[Uchiha Madara: I refuse to accept this.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: Madara! Let's look at the bright side! Even the scroll thinks we're second only to them --- and those two are the future! Our rivalry is the second best in all of history!! HAHAHA!!]
[Uchiha Madara: HASHIRAMA!! THAT IS NOT THE BRIGHT SIDE!! SECOND IS NOT FIRST!!]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: Second is wonderful!! Second means someone is keeping score!!]
[Uchiha Madara: I DO NOT NEED SOMEONE KEEPING SCORE!! I AM THE WINNER BY DEFAULT AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN!!]
[Uzumaki Mito: Neither of you won. That was the whole point.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: Mito!]
[Uzumaki Mito: You fought to a draw for thirty years. That's not winning. That's two people refusing to let the other person stop.]
[Uzumaki Mito: Which is, I will admit, the most romantic thing I've ever seen.]
[First Hokage Hashirama Senju: MITO!!]
[Uchiha Madara: I. Did. Not. Ask. For. That.]
[Uzumaki Mito: You didn't need to. I'm stating facts.]
Konoha --- Chūnin Exam Arena
Naruto had read the first-place entry.
Read it twice.
Turned to Sasuke.
Sasuke had already read it and was wearing the expression of a man who had just been given something he wanted and was extremely committed to not showing it.
"Oi," Naruto said.
"What."
"The scroll put us first."
"It put us first with a note that we're too early to rank."
"But first."
"As a placeholder."
"FIRST THOUGH."
"Naruto---"
"ABOVE HASHIRAMA AND MADARA."
"It's a placeholder---"
"ABOVE THE TWO GUYS WHO LITERALLY FOUNDED THE HIDDEN VILLAGE SYSTEM---"
"NARUTO. It says come back in TEN YEARS."
Naruto stopped.
Thought about this.
"...So in ten years," he said slowly, "we'll be so good as rivals that we officially outrank Hashirama and Madara."
"That is what the scroll implies, yes."
Another pause.
Naruto's grin went from normal-sized to taking up his entire face.
"Sasuke."
"Don't."
"That's incredible."
"Don't."
"That's the best thing that's happened today and a LOT of things happened today---"
"NARUTO. I am warning you---"
"WE'RE GOING TO BE THE BEST RIVALS IN ALL OF HISTORY---"
"If you do not stop IMMEDIATELY I will---"
"DATTEBAYO!!"
"---I will not speak to you for the rest of the day."
Silence.
Naruto calculated the remaining hours of daylight.
"...Twenty minutes," he said. "I'll be quiet for twenty minutes."
"The rest of the day."
"One hour."
"The rest of the day."
"...Two hours."
"The. Rest. Of. The. Day."
Naruto looked at the scroll.
At the first-place entry with their names on it.
Too early to rank. Come back in ten years.
He pressed his lips together.
Containing something enormous.
"Fine," he said. "But I'm smiling."
"You can smile."
"And I'm going to be smiling loudly."
"That's not a thing."
"You'll see."
He smiled.
Loudly.
Sasuke looked away.
He was also, extremely quietly, smiling.
He would deny this if asked.
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