Amethyst's POV
"Is he really going to do that? Why can't he see me? Why am I not good enough?" I couldn't stop these words from leaving my lips.
Last night was horrible. I wish I had died instead.
Flashback:
"I should go back to sleep after this. I still have to wake up early. The world really wants me to workout and get sunlight every single morning. It's good in a way. I like cooking. I just wish it wasn't a chore," I was blabbering as usual.
Talking to myself is a habit I can't let go.
"I should see if there's any leftovers in the fridge. Working on research is so tough!"
The fridge was open as usual. The pack members are really brats.
So many people don't get to have food or basic facilities and here, they are wasting electricity.
After looking around, I finally found some apples.
I took a bite. It was juicy and cold. Perfect for a late night snack.
The air was windy and icy. Winter is almost here. It's late this year.
The floor was too cold for my liking. I love winter, I really do but sometimes, it really tastes everything in me.
Mid November nights are the perfect for a long sleep. Oh, how I wish!
I patted my cheeks.
"No, Amethyst. Education is a privilege. You are getting to study, you have to make the most out of it. Get back to studying," I encouraged myself.
I like reading. Romanticizing life feels nice.
"Babe~"
The voice was familiar. It's soft and seductive, as if inviting the other person to listen to them the entire day.
It's her. I started to gather my things. I needed to leave as fast as I could. Getting caught here was risky.
I had to work extra hours to buy my books. Getting them ripped on the first day would be a shame.
The next person's voice stopped me on my tracks. It was cold yet it didn't carry the usual coldness. Compared to how he talks to her, it seemed pretty tolerant.
"So, that's how he talks to others," I thought.
"Not now, Stella."
"But babe, I only got to see you now. I missed you so much throughout the entire day. Where were you?" Her voice was full of complaints.
It didn't carry any hint of fear. She knew that he wasn't going to hurt her.
She felt like she was close enough to complain. I felt like a fool for feeling envy.
My heart, it was aching and I could do nothing to stop it.
Was there any remedy for heartache?
I couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to hear my name from his lips?
Will it be full of hatred? Care? Love?
I almost laughed at myself. I hated how desperate I was sounding.
He was her's. Her boyfriend. I wanted to kill myself for having such thoughts about someone else's boyfriend.
How could I?
"But you have loved him since the first time you saw him. He wasn't her boyfriend back then," something inside of me argued.
I did. It's true but he's her's at this moment and I should stop myself. It's wrong.
I reminded myself again.
"I was out. I want to sleep. Can you leave now?" He was calm and patient.
"Babe, you know how my parents are, right? They want us to be official," She said with a pout.
As if that's going to happen. He wasn't the type of guy to make things official.
I have lost the number of girls he has been with since childhood. They would be together for sometime and then, they'll be gone.
That's how it has always been. He had a mate somewhere out there.
His eyes looked here and there, they stopped at the kitchen door for a second.
My heartbeats quickened.
"Did he saw me?" But then I shaked away this thought.
He would have snapped at me if he did.
"Ok." He said all of a sudden.
My world stopped for a second.
Wasn't it going to be another one of his flings? Was she his mate?
Tears won't stop flowing from my eyes. I was thinking whether it was my tears or blood that was coming out.
He said ok so quickly. No hesitation. No second thoughts.
"Yes! I knew it. You are never going to say no to me. When are we going to have the wedding?" Her smile was so big that her face felt small.
She's adorable.
Big hazel brown eyes. Pouty lips. Light brown luscious hair. The perfect figure.
The beta's daughter.
Why don't he marry her? Stella's perfect.
"No wedding for now. We are going to have an engagement first."
"That works for me too! We are still young. We can get married whenever we want. I can't explain how happy I am!" She jumped right into his arms.
I never liked Stella. She's the person who has bullied me the most but at that moment, I couldn't help but feel happy for her.
She was finally going to marry the person she loves. She looked so happy. She was glowing like the sun.
So beautiful. I wish I were her.
She leaned towards his face but he looked away. Exhaustion was written all over his face.
"I am tired, Stella. I am going to sleep." He gently pulled her away. Stella didn't seem to mind.
She was happy that he agreed to marry her.
I could only stare at his back. It's that person's death anniversary.
I prayed for his peace and Stella's happiness in my mind.
I couldn't feel the strength to stand still anymore. In midst of praying for others, I forgot about myself.
Exhaustion was finally catching up with me. I didn't sleep for the past week. And now, my body had enough. My knees were trembling and I could feel something filling up my throat.
I was too numb to feel anything. I liked it that way. Ignoring my emotions was better than facing them and dying slowly.
I prayed for a long rest before my vision went blank but only if destiny was that kind to me.
Flashback ends.
The emotions I couldn't process last night was finally all coming back. I was too exhausted to cry.
"Are you ready to open up now?" Vivian said after entering with food in a bowl.
I looked at her face. They have the same eyes. Her's were warmer. Out of everyone, she had to be his sister? The moon goddess was too cruel.
It's about her brother.
Was I ready to open up?