Asteria
I jumped from my seat as if it were burning me and hurried outside into the cold evening air.
What the hell? Am I going completely insane?
My hands trembled as I tried to light a cigarette, leaning against the brick wall and avoiding the rain as best I could. The first drag steadied me, the smoke filling my lungs, the cold air sealing the calm in place.
What the hell was that? How and why would my mind see such bloody things all of a sudden?
It wasn't the first time, of course. I'd had nightmares for as long as I could remember, but those were dreams. This was different. Lately, the visions were happening while I was awake.
Maybe Julian's right. Maybe I should see a therapist.
But what would I even say?
That I'm losing my mind? That I see blood and eyeless people in broad daylight? They'd lock me up for sure.
The rain began to ease into a soft drizzle, and I found myself tempted to walk through it. I scanned the dark alleys nearby, and for a brief moment, I thought I saw the same shadowy figure from before lurking in the distance. The sun was long gone, and it was almost impossible to make out shapes in the dim light. I glanced down at my wrists instinctively, but there was nothing there.
Maybe that's a good sign. Maybe I really should consider getting help.
I stayed there a moment longer, breathing in the crisp air until my nerves settled. Just as I stubbed out the cigarette, Julian stepped outside.
"What's going on, Asteria?" he asked, his tone serious.
"I just needed a smoke," I said quietly, though I could tell he didn't believe me. "I'm sorry. I know I'm not myself lately. I'm just… so tired."
He studied me for a moment, then softened. "How about we go to my place and let me cook for you? We can watch something and snuggle, or we can talk about what is going on. I will hold you and kiss you till you fall asleep." He pulled me to his chest and kissed me gently on the forehead.
"It sounds like a great plan." I mumbled quietly, inhaling his sweet scent.
On the way to his apartment, I couldn't shake the feeling that someone, or something, was watching us. I tried to act normal, keeping my thoughts buried until we finally reached his door. The moment we stepped inside, I felt the tension in my body dissolve.
His home was a world of its own. Cozy, quiet, and filled with character. The faint smell of aged wood mingled with the earthy scent of his many "treasures"—rocks, sticks, and leaves carefully arranged across shelves and corners. It felt like stepping into a sacred forest tucked beneath the roof of an old library.
That's why I always rest so well here.
I smiled to myself as I traced my fingers over the newest additions to his rock collection, each one labeled and placed with meticulous care.
"It looks like my assistant has totally abandoned me!" I heard him chuckle from the kitchen.
"I don't think so! Somebody has to keep you under observation at all times. We wouldn't want you to break, drop, or burn anything, would we?" I started laughing at his clumsiness as I followed his voice.
Julian was an incredible cook. Everything he made felt like art. Flavors layered so perfectly that every bite left you wanting more. But for all his talent, he was hopelessly clumsy, often at war with pots, knives, and gravity itself.
He handed me a glass of white wine and kissed me softly. I smiled against his lips, the world outside fading into nothing.
The rest of the evening flowed in warmth and ease talking, cooking, laughing as though nothing strange had ever existed between us.
"So, I had this dream last night," he began, his tone low and thoughtful, "and I think you'll find it interesting."
He stepped closer, spoon in hand, offering me a taste of his pasta sauce. It was rich and perfect.
"Do continue," I encouraged him, taking another sip of my wine, not being able to take my eyes off of him.
"We were walking through strange, whispering woods. There were other people with us, but I couldn't remember their faces. At some point, we came across a peculiar man sitting at the base of a massive, ancient tree, and it felt as if he had been expecting us. I've forgotten some of the details, but I clearly remember the alchemical symbols etched across the sides of his head, his face, and his hands. He spoke of seals, perhaps a key, or maybe a door. After that, everyone else left, and I was alone with him. He spoke with such clarity, telling me that I must maintain balance. Then, suddenly, I saw myself covered in strange tattoos, staring back at me. A—me looking at me—kind of situation. And then I woke up."
"That's… intense," I said softly, wrapping my arms around him. "You should write a book with this stuff you keep dreaming about. I would definitely read it."
He laughed. "I don't think I have the patience for that."
"Well, you should keep that in mind. I think you would be an excellent writer."
"Not as excellent as you are a painter. By the way, how are things going?"
"Not so great," I responded softly, backing out of his embrace, something that caused him to furrow his brows. I was having a really bad time doing my work in the past few days due to my lack of sleep and seeing things that weren't there.
"I think I'll take your advice about the therapist," I added after a moment. It's been three days since I was able to close my eyes, even for a couple of minutes." I added after a long pause. "Thank you for keeping up with me during this time."
"You have nothing to thank me for. I love you and care about your well-being," he said gently, closing the space between us again. "How about I help you relax the way I know best?" he whispered with that half-mischievous glint that always made me blush.
His warmth surrounded me again, his fingertips tracing lazy circles along my arms, up to my collarbone. I leaned into his touch, feeling the tension slip away little by little. My pulse slowed, my thoughts quieted. The world shrank to the steady rhythm of our breathing.
"Aren't I the luckiest girl?" I murmured, smiling against his shoulder.
He laughed quietly, the sound deep and reassuring, and buried his nose in my hair. For a while, there was nothing but the soft crackle from the stove and the hush of the rain outside.
Then something caught my eye. A massive and unnervingly still raven stood on the window ledge. Its feathers shimmered with a dark, metallic blue beneath the foggy glass, each movement imperceptible yet deliberate. Its gaze was fixed on us, unblinking, and I felt the weight of its presence pressing against my chest.
Something about that raven felt wrong, but in that moment, all I wanted was Julian.
I began backing away slowly, guiding him with me toward the bedroom. It wasn't difficult as he was already pressing against me, kissing my neck, his hands tracing down my back. A soft moan escaped me as his lips and tongue found a particularly sensitive spot, and the moment it left my mouth, he covered it with his own. I could feel the hunger rising through both of us as he squeezed my hips and pressed them closer to him. With one swift move, I got rid of the top while he lifted my tight skirt, exposing a pair of black-laced panties. He smirked contently at the view and lowered himself, leaving a trail of kisses all over my chest. I melted into his embrace, every touch making my heart race and my mind spin. He stopped at my chest and teased me for a few seconds as his hand began caressing me through the thin lace.
I could feel myself burning inside out with desire, getting eager to feel him inside me. His warm breath descended on my body, switching places with his hand, his beard tickling me all the way and making me melt into the wall behind me. He was now on his knees, ripping off my panties, making me give up any trace of control. The tip of his tongue started sliding across my pearl, sending sparks of electricity through my entire being and letting it escape low moans of pleasure.
A heat flared through me, almost unbearable, making my pulse race and my senses sharpen. Every brush of his fingertips and the warmth of his body against mine sent sparks through me, leaving me trembling and breathless.
I leaned into him, surrendering to the closeness, letting the intensity of his touch and presence consume me.
"God, how I love to hear you," he growled, putting my legs over his shoulders and holding me up against the wall effortlessly. His warm spit was mixing up with me, as my hips started grinding his smooth tongue. Impatience surged through me, unable to endure any longer the intoxicating attention he lavished on me. With a playful pinch, he drew a sharp, delighted gasp from me, and a wave of warmth rolled through my body, leaving me quivering and breathless. My limbs trembled as sweet sparks of release coursed through me, and for a few fleeting moments, I surrendered entirely to the moment. Every motion, every breath shared, left me trembling, my thoughts scattered, lost in the overwhelming sensation of being completely seen and wanted. As soon as my feet touched the floor, I reached out for his pants, but he turned me around swiftly, pressing me against the cold wall. I heard him unzip his pants after spreading my legs, and my heart started beating even faster with anticipation. His warm, wet length began sliding against my entrance, all the way to my bud, while his hands roamed my sides, holding my hips with firm, possessive attention. I could feel his heat radiate so close to me, making me unable to bear anymore of his tease.
"I need to feel you inside me," I moaned pleadingly, closing my eyes.
He penetrated me slowly at my request, little whimpers of pleasure escaping his chest right onto my skin. His hot breath brushed my back, making me shiver uncontrollably as his palms were now roaming on my sides, grasping harder my hips with every chance they got.
"F**k, you are divine," he muttered in my ear as he started to slide slowly in and out of me, taking in every sensation and sighing contently with pleasure.
My knees went weak as soon as I felt him inside, making me bend over and swing impatiently on his soaked girth, matching our movements. He started groaning louder, which only caused me to get wetter. The world around us fell away, leaving only the electric closeness, the heat, and the exquisite connection between our bodies. He held me close, his hands roaming tenderly yet insistently, keeping our rhythm perfectly matched. I arched into him, my senses alive to every subtle motion, every shared breath. I closed my eyes once again, letting myself be completely at his mercy, as he started thrusting faster and harder. My moans were now completing his, as my walls were tightening on his length, feeling closer to release.
As my body began vibrating uncontrollably, he slammed into me lustfully, pressing my back against his chest. He sank his teeth into my neck as his palms grabbed my breasts, and in that moment, everything was still and blissful. Colored starts were dancing behind my eyelids as the warmth spread through my entire body with his last thrusts. He moaned in my neck, and after a few seconds, I felt his hot load sliding on my back.
We crashed onto the bed and stood in silence as we were trying to catch our breaths.
"Well, if that doesn't help me, I don't know what will." I giggled, looking into his eyes.
He started gently tracing my back with his fingers as my muscles were starting to relax.
I was pulled into his embrace, and I sighed softly at his warmth, feeling my eyelids grow heavy with every second passing by. After so many days, I completely fell asleep in his sweet and calm embrace. The last thing I remembered seeing was the raven, which was now on the bedroom window, looking like it was watching us the entire time.