I stood frozen in place. Breath caught in my throat. I stared at it, a creature that large, towering high, now lying still before my eyes.
I swallowed, still half in disbelief.
With my breath still ragged, I slowly approached, making sure it no longer moved. My body trembled slightly, not from fear, but from the realization beginning to hit me.
I… won?
I looked at my own hands. Dirty, covered in soil, and a little blood from my head dripping to my fingertips.
But I didn't feel weak. I looked at the large body before me, then looked at my hands again.
"Am i this strong?"
The words came out softly, but echoed in my mind. With my old body… I couldn't even lift a bucket of water without staggering.
But now I just defeated a bear this large. How was this possible?
I raised my hand slowly, looking at the purple nails shimmering faintly under the forest's dim light.
A low, disbelieving laugh escaped me "hah… haha…" as I flexed my fingers, watching the sharp tips gleam.
These claws, this resilient body… they weren't just different. They were better. Stronger. A fierce, blooming pride swelled in my chest. This power, raw and undeniable, had come from the wolf. From the beast I had devoured to survive. And now… now it was mine.
I looked back at the dead bear. The fog around me slowly thinned, and the cold sunlight pierced through the gaps in the trees, falling on its thick, dull fur.
The air around felt heavier, as if this forest was waiting for my decision.
I stared at the creature for a long time, the creature that had almost killed me minutes ago.
Now silent, without breath, and without life.
I knelt slowly beside it. My hand touched its coarse fur, cold and damp.
A strange feeling, hard to explain. Not guilt, not pride either. More like a curiosity growing from a dark place within me.
I looked at my hand, then looked at the large bear body before me. A crazy thought crossed my mind, but the more I tried to reject it, the stronger it clung.
"Can I… become even stronger?"
The words came out unconsciously.
I remembered the moment I ate the wolf's meat, the pain that came after, and the strength that flowed through my body when I woke up.
Was that a coincidence?
Or was there something in the meat of these creatures that changed me?
But this time… I was fully aware of what I was about to do. I bit my lip softly, looking at the bear's body once more.
"Should I… eat it?" I whispered, the voice almost inaudible.
I felt strange just thinking about it.
Raw meat. Bloody. Even the mere thought was enough to make my stomach feel nauseous.
Yet… I also wanted to know. ]
I wanted to know how far my body had changed.
What would happen if I ate monster meat?
Could I become stronger?
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my spinning thoughts. There was no use thinking too much. There was only one way to know.
"If this is the only way to make me stronger… then I will try it," I whispered softly.
My hand moved. My sharp nails easily cut through the bear's skin, like a knife through wet cloth.
For a moment, another memory surfaced.
Back then, I had to tear and bite the wolf skin for what felt like forever, my fingers burned, my strength failed as the hard skin refused to separate from the flesh underneath. Every bite is a struggle, earned through pain and despair.
Even though I succeeded in the end, it was still a struggle—
The struggle of eating wolf meat was very tough.
the struggle against my own body's reflexes that want to vomit it, and a vague awareness that I had gone through something irrevocable.
I swallowed not because I was hungry, but because my body demanded it.
But Now—
The bear's hide yielded without resistance, as if my hands no longer needed to fight for it.
I paused for a moment, looking at the exposed piece of meat. Its red color was dark, almost purplish under the foggy light.
The scent of blood immediately filled the air. Sharp, metallic, but… not as foul as I remembered from the wolf meat that time.
I closed my eyes briefly, suppressing the urge to retreat that came along with the memory of that night's pain.
Then, without thinking longer, I grabbed a small piece of meat from the bear's body.
My hand trembled.
My heart beat hard.
"Have I gone mad…?" I murmured.
But there was no answer. Only the sound of my own breath and the silent forest. I stared at the piece of meat for a long time, then brought it to my mouth.
Cold blood dripped onto my fingers.
I closed my eyes… and bit.
The taste… metallic. Bitter. But not as bad as I remembered.
There was a tough texture, and hard to chew, but the taste didn't make me vomit like a wolf meat.
I swallowed slowly, holding back the strange sensation flowing on my stomach
"Strange…" I whispered.
"It doesn't taste that bad."
I took a little more, biting more calmly.
The blood taste was still strong, but something was different.
Maybe because my body had adapted from eating raw meat before… or maybe because I had truly changed.
I stopped eating, looking at my hand still smeared with blood.
The blood was starting to dry on my fingertips, sticking to my skin like a stain that wouldn't disappear.
I looked at it for a long time, then looked at the meat in my hand.
"Has… my tongue changed too?"
The question came out softly, but felt frightening.
I didn't know the answer. But something inside me whispered that I was no longer entirely the same.
Suddenly, the same sensation from before returned.
"Ugghh"
My body began to grow warm. The sensation came slowly from my stomach, then spread throughout my body.
I bit my lip, holding back the strange feeling beginning to grow within my own flesh.
Unlike before, this pain didn't stab like a knife, but pressed from within, as if something was trying to emerge from beneath my skin.
"Aaaah"
A gasp escaped my mouth as I clawed at the ground, struggling to stay conscious.
The heat grew stronger, and my body tensed. Every muscle felt like it was hardening, as if being forcibly squeezed.
I closed my eyes, suppressing the trembling.
"This time… I won't faint…" I whispered between heavy breaths.
I endured, and I accepted each wave of pain, letting it flow, like embers forging me from within.
My muscles pulsed, my back felt stretched, but I remained still, gritting my teeth against the scream that almost escaped.
A few minutes felt like hours.
Then… slowly, everything stopped.
"Haa…haa…" My eyes slowly opened, following the rhythm of my ragged breath. The cold air brushed against my face, making me realize that sweat had soaked my skin.
I stared at my hands, pressing them gently while checking the changes happening to my body.
Although my hands remain slim as before, the muscles beneath the skin feel denser and stronger.
My body too, although still slim, now feels different, as if strength is flowing beneath my skin.
Every small movement felt… controlled.
I raised my hand to my head, touching the back where it had been hit hard and bled earlier.
No pain. No throbbing ache. The skin there was smooth, as if the wound had never existed.
Likewise, the small scratches on my body… all had vanished, disappeared without a trace.
I took a deep breath, letting the damp forest air fill my lungs. My body felt more whole, more alive, and for the first time, I truly felt it.
I stood up, looking at the bear's body now still on the ground.
"So it's true…"
"Eating monster meat, makes me stronger."
A cold wind blew from the east, making dry leaves flutter. I looked at the sky, now beginning to pale as the sun shifted behind the fog.
"If this is the path I must take…"
I clenched my fist, feeling the new strength within my hand.
"…then I will walk without hesitation," I murmured.
Silence...
The forest around me fell silent again as if nothing had ever happened. Only my breath was heard, slow and heavy, in the damp air blowing softly.
I looked at the remaining bear meat on the ground, some still raw, some already dried.
The gust of wind carried a faint scent of blood that was almost unnoticeable, yet for some reason, my nose could now clearly identify its smell.
All my senses felt sharper, as if the world around me had become more alive, easier for me to understand.
"But… is this really my body?"
The question slipped out. I raised my hand, looking at the purple nails at my fingertips. The soft light from between the trees reflected on their surface, shimmering faintly.
I remembered my old body clearly, weak, easily trembling, even holding a shovel often made me almost fall.
But now… I could crush a bear's bones with my bare hands.
It all felt so absurd. Yet, on the other hand, a feeling was beginning to grow within me, something strange, but warm.
A new conviction slowly swallowing the remnants of my fear.
I sat on the ground, leaning against a large tree trunk behind me. The forest air now felt lighter. Leaves fell slowly, landing around the bear's lying body.
I looked at my hands for a long time. Under those nails, there was still dried blood residue, and as I wiped it slowly, I felt no disgust.
Just a normal feeling. As if it was… natural.
"I've changed," I murmured softly.
Not just my body, but my mind too.
Before, I would never have dared to do things like this, eat raw meat, kill a creature that large, or even survive alone in a foreign place like this.
But now, I didn't feel afraid. I didn't feel disgusted. The only thing I felt was the desire to keep moving forward.
I looked at the sky above the trees.
The sunlight reflected through the fog, forming thin lines that descended to the ground, touching my still-dirty cheeks.
This world still felt foreign, but no longer threatening as before. Perhaps because I was no longer the same Vira.
I remembered those faces again, Eri, Dito, Maya, Mira, Leo, Gregory, King Thorian, Eldrin…
Those who laughed, who mocked, and who looked at me like dirt. Their shadows danced in my mind, one by one, like small fires refusing to die.
"They won't recognize me later," I whispered with a thin, wicked smile
"I will return, and this time, they will be the ones bowing."
Yet amidst that thought, a shadow crossed my mind.
A woman's face.
Soft, weary, but full of love.
Mother…
I could see her clearly in my memory, sitting under the dim light of an oil lamp, sewing clothes late into the night.
Her soft yet scarred fingers moved quickly over the worn fabric.
Occasionally she stopped, looking at a small photo on the table, a photo of the two of us.
Her smile was gentle, but her eyes… always looked tired.
'I want you to be a strong person, Vira,' she once said while looking at me.
'Not strong to fight others, but strong enough not to break, even when the world rejects you.'
That voice echoed softly in my head.
I bowed my head, letting that feeling evaporate with a long exhale.
The image of Mother's face still clung to my mind, so real it felt like if I reached out, I could touch her warm cheek.
"Sorry Mom... if you see me like this right now" I murmured softly.
"I don't know what you would think of me now…"
My voice broke at the end of the sentence. There was something heavy in my chest, not from regret… but from a longing that couldn't be conveyed.
"If you knew what I've done and you saw what I've become…"
I paused for a moment, swallowing the bitter saliva.
"Maybe you wouldn't recognize me anymore…"
I looked at my palms, still bearing dried bloodstains and soil, then slowly clenched them.
"But I don't regret it," I whispered, this time with a firmer tone.
"Because if I didn't change, I wouldn't be able to survive in this cruel world."
I looked at the gray sky between the gaps in the trees.
"Mom… One day I will return. Not as the weak girl who cried under the dim lamp, but as someone who can stand on her own feet."
"I don't know if that would make you proud, or maybe even afraid of me… but that's okay."
The wind blew softly, touching my face as if answering my words.
I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the wind pass, then exhaled a long breath.
"What matters… is that I'm still walking," I finally murmured.
"I'm still here."
Because perhaps, to live in a world like this, I truly had to become something different.