Chapter 5 The Battle Within
Silence filled the chamber.
The emptiness that remained after Agni and Neer had left floated in the air. Nirag stood near the window. His fingers rested on the glass but his gaze was turned inward. His shoulders were slightly hunched as if some invisible burden weighed upon them. Outside the crimson of sunset was now turning into a deep purple and there was a cold shiver in the air.
Anvay looked at that hunched back. There was a gentle concern in his eyes. He came closer slowly and placed his hand on Nirag shoulder. The touch was light but firm.
Nirag. His voice flowed like a quiet waterfall.
Nirag did not turn his head but a slight tremor ran through his body. His breaths quickened a little.
Anvay smiled. He lifted his hand from Nirag back and placed it under his chin gently turning his face towards himself. Nirag eyes were lowered and his lashes were wet.
I know. Anvay said and his voice carried that same river tone. You are hiding something from me. Something that is troubling you from within.
Nirag raised his eyes. There was no curiosity in Anvay eyes. Just the worry of a true friend. A worry that asked not for answers but offered support.
Nirag gently removed Anvay hand. He turned his face away and looked outside the window. Outside the redness of sunset was now turning into purple. There was a cold shiver in the air.
I know Anvay. His voice was a whisper. You want to know the reason for this worry of mine. For this pain. But I myself do not know. The reason for this restlessness. I cannot understand myself. This ache of the heart.
He paused and took a deep breath.
I can only tell you this. I cannot understand myself.
Anvay stepped forward. He was now right in front of Nirag and there was barely a hand distance between them.
It is alright Nirag. He said and his voice was soft. I can understand.
Nirag looked at Anvay. For a moment a smile played on his lips. But that smile did not reach his eyes. Inside his mind a storm of thoughts was raging.
Anvay. I do not want to lose you. My dream. What if it becomes true. That is why I am pushing myself away from you. I do not want to lose another friend again.
What happened Nirag. Anvay asked tilting his head slightly. Why are you smiling.
Nirag looked into Anvay eyes. Nothing. Just considering myself lucky to have a friend like you by my side.
Anvay smile deepened. He placed his hand on Nirag shoulder. I too consider myself lucky to be your friend.
Nirag suppressed his pain and said. Anvay you should rest now. You have returned from such a long journey and all this happened. Forgive me. Because of me you had to witness all this.
Anvay cut him off. It is not your fault friend. I am not angry with you.
Nirag smiled. He called out to a soldier. The soldier standing at the door ran forward immediately and there were dust marks on his uniform.
Yes Maharaj.
Take our friend Anvay to his chamber. Nirag said and the regal tone had returned to his voice. And ensure he is well taken care of.
The soldier folded his hands and lowered his eyes. As you command Maharaj.
Then he turned towards Anvay. Please come Maharaj.
Anvay smiled once more at Nirag and then walked towards his chamber with the soldier.
Near the water pond Neer was sitting. His reflection in the water looked blurry. His eyes were fixed on that reflection but he was seeing something else.
How. How is this possible. Nirag lost control. He has never done this before. Then why this time. Was there some flaw in my teaching. Or did Nirag fail in his learning. I do not know what has happened to Nirag. Today I saw something in his eyes that I have never seen before. As if he was not my Nirag but someone else.
He was so lost in his thoughts that his finger got pricked by a thorny bush near the blue lotus and he did not even notice. The blood flowing from his finger was invisible to him. Blood had spread in the pond but Neer was still lost in his thoughts.
Just then Agni arrived there. He saw the blood flowing from Neer finger. He immediately ran and pulled Neer hand out of the water.
Neer was startled back to his senses. Agni had taken his finger into his own mouth trying to stop the bleeding.
Neer looked into Agni eyes. Agni looked into Neer eyes. It was as if time had stopped.
Agni held Neer hand in his own. He placed his hand over the finger. With his fire power he healed the wound.
Neer was still looking into Agni eyes.
Agni placed his hand on Neer shoulder. Neer. Neer. What happened to you.
Neer came back to his senses. He pulled his hand away and tried to hide his gaze.
Agni asked again. What happened Neer. What thought were you so lost in that you did not even feel your own pain.
Neer said. What pain. What kind of pain.
Agni looked into Neer eyes and said. A thorn pricked your finger.
Neer looked at his finger. It is nothing. Just like that.
Agni looked into Neer eyes and said. I know. The worry for Nirag is troubling you. But our Nirag has grown up now. He knows how to protect himself. He just becomes uncontrolled sometimes. Sometimes in anger he can do anything. But he can handle himself.
Neer turned his face away. No Agni. You do not know. Nothing. You could not see what I saw in Nirag eyes today.
Agni turned Neer face towards himself. I know you love Nirag immensely. But you have to understand that Nirag is no longer the child he used to be. He is now the king of this kingdom.
Neer said to Agni. You were also a prince Agni. But you also lost control once.
Neer suddenly fell silent.
Agni lowered his gaze.
Neer fixed his eyes on the ground and said. Forgive me Agni. That was not my intention. I just spoke all that in worry for our Nirag.
Agni said to Neer. It is alright Neer.
And he turned to leave.
Neer grabbed Agni hand. Agni stopped.
Neer asked. Does it truly not hurt you.
Agni turned back. No. I know that you would never intentionally say anything that would ever hurt my heart. I know you said all that in worry for Nirag.
Agni smiled.
But once again Neer. I want to tell you. I am here. Always.
Neer smiled. Agni walked away from there. That smile was still on Neer face.
Neer looked up towards the window of the upper chamber of the palace. It was Nirag chamber. He closed his eyes.
Son. What it means to fight against oneself your father knows very well. That the battle of the battlefield is as easy as the battle of the mind is difficult. But I have faith that you will win that battle too. You will definitely win son.
And Neer walked towards his own chamber.
Upstairs from his chamber Nirag was watching Neer leave. There was a strange gleam in his eyes.
How will you save Neer. He whispered so softly that even the wind could not hear. Your son.
And he began to laugh. A cold hollow laughter that bounced back from the walls of the room. There was a deep black void in that laughter. As if some ancient curse was awakening.
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