When William had finally calmed down, Alex walked him back to his room.
Throughout the walk across the palace, the mage remained silent, his eyes slightly red and his face drained of emotion.
Before getting to know him, the prince would have called it nothing more than cold detachment. Now he knew it was a form of protection against a pain he couldn't process.
And it frightened him, because he had seen that same empty look only on the faces of men awaiting execution.
Once they reached the mage's door, Alex held him back by his shirt.
"Will, are you all right?"
"Yes."
"I can listen to you. I can help you."
He could heal him, if only William would let him.
"I'm sorry, Your Highness. Please forget what happened."
"Why? I'm not angry with you."
William smiled, but his eyes remained hollow and dull. "You should be. Because I'm impure, and I could contaminate you."
Alex parted his lips to protest, but the mage slipped into the room and shut the door in his face.
"You're not disgusting, Will," he murmured, unsure whether William could still hear him. "And you're not wrong."
He rested a palm against the wood of the door, then his forehead. The knot in his chest tightened, tears pressing at his lashes, desperate to fall.
"Please, don't fall apart." His voice trembled more than he had intended. "Because if you break, I'll break too."
If William collapsed, Alex wouldn't be able to help him.
The following day, Alex woke exhausted and in a foul mood.
He got dressed, checked in the mirror that he looked vaguely presentable, and left his room. He knocked on William's door, but there was no answer.
He was just about to consider forcing it open when Sven reached him.
"William's already gone downstairs."
Alex raised an eyebrow. "How is he?"
"Colder than usual. He barely greeted Falko." Sven studied him for a moment. "You do not seem well."
"It was a bad night."
"Trouble?"
"William wanted to look for the records in the archives. He was convinced the governor might have replaced them, but we didn't find anything. While there, though, two men came in and retrieved some letters—someone had sent them."
Sven frowned. "Do you want me to investigate?"
"Yes, but be discreet. They don't know we overheard."
"You took risks, Your Highness."
"I was armed—and William was there."
Now that he thought about it, he had left his dagger in the archives, behind the bookcase. He would have to retrieve it before anyone noticed.
Sven looked him in the eyes, and Alex averted his gaze, guilty of something he couldn't even name.
"I slept badly. And I feel… powerless."
"Did you argue again?"
Alex shook his head. "We didn't, but it's frustrating that I can't protect him from himself. It's as if my voice doesn't reach him."
Sven lowered his gaze and remained silent for a moment.
"There are men who don't want to be saved. Maybe William's one of them."
Alex frowned. "You wouldn't say that if it were my sister in his place."
"No, you're right." He looked back at him. "Then perhaps your voice alone isn't enough."
"And what am I supposed to do?" He tried to hide the terror in his voice, but it still came out strangled.
"I don't know." Sven hesitated and scratched the back of his neck. "When Franziska is sad, I usually sit next to her and hug her. That's enough for her to tell me everything that hurts, because my presence makes her feel safe. Maybe William needs a safe place too. Or maybe he needs to fall apart completely in order to heal."
"I'm afraid that if that happens, he… won't come back."
"People are stronger than—"
"You don't understand!" Alex bit his lip and rubbed his forehead. "I didn't mean to raise my voice—it's just that…"
Sven squeezed his shoulder, and the prince let out a trembling breath, filled with the terror that had haunted him since the night before.
"You didn't see the hollow expression he had yesterday. He looked like a man who had lost everything and had nothing left to live for. I don't want him to die. And that's what scares me the most."
"Maybe we should go back to the capital."
"We can't. My father wouldn't appreciate it."
Alex lifted his head and ran his trembling fingers through his hair.
"Besides, it's not this place. It's me. He has very deep wounds and I… maybe it's my fault that all these old wounds are resurfacing."
Sven tightened his grip on his arm. "Your Highness, whatever happened wasn't your fault. You're not the one who hurt him, and you're certainly not the one making him suffer. I'm absolutely certain of that."
The prince took a deep breath and nodded. Talking to Sven had calmed him a little, but fear continued to slither under his skin.
"Let's go have breakfast. You investigate the two men; I'll try to get some information out of the governor."
Sven nodded, and together they went down to the lower floors. They parted near the dining room, and his captain headed toward the kitchens to eat with the others.
Alex pushed open the doors and entered the hall, but there was no sign of William. There were only a couple of servants and the governor, seated at one side of the table laden with biscuits, pastries, and dried fruit.
"Where's William?"
Governor Luka rose from his chair and greeted him with a bow. "Master Traver asked to start working immediately, and I had him escorted to the archives."
"He didn't even have breakfast?"
"He said he wasn't hungry."
To Alex, it sounded like nothing but an excuse. William hadn't eaten since the night before, and even at dinner he barely touched any food; the prince refused to believe he had no appetite.
He had to be still shaken by what had happened in the archives, or maybe it was a way to punish himself.
"Have something set aside. I'll take it to him myself."
"As you wish." Luka gestured toward the laden table. "In the meantime, would you like to have breakfast?"
Alex was tempted to decline, but a growl from his stomach answered for him.
The governor laughed. "I'll take that as a yes, Your Highness."
Truthfully, Alex had no desire to sit at the table while Will was suffering, but he couldn't refuse without arousing his host's curiosity.
He sat down and ate as quickly as etiquette allowed. He exchanged only a few words with Luka, mostly polite formalities. His thoughts kept drifting back to the previous evening, to the cruel words William had hurled at himself after something inside him had broken.
Once breakfast was over, he took the bundle a servant had prepared for him—a few almond biscuits and a slice of lemon custard cake—and let the governor escort him to the archives.
Luka offered him a courteous smile. "After you have delivered breakfast to your mage, would you mind if we met in my office?"
"For what purpose?"
"I'd need your help with the patrols issue. I thought I might show you on the map where the most recent attacks took place and take advantage of your experience in the field."
Alex frowned. Was he trying to separate him from William?
Even if that were the case, he couldn't refuse.
"Of course. You can count on me."
The governor smiled. "You are truly reliable, Your Highness. The kingdom will be in excellent hands when you ascend the throne."
"I'm sure of it. I'll have good servants to help me."
"Like Master Traver, I imagine."
"He's a practical man with keen insight. I consider myself fortunate to have his loyalty."
"Even though he's half Xianese, you mean?"
Alex stopped short and shot him a sharp look. "William is Vellarian. He was born and raised here."
Luka raised his hands and flashed a smile. "I meant no offense, Your Highness. In Narea, people are more open-minded, but I know it's not the same at court."
"Even if that were the case, it's none of your business. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring it up again—it bothers William."
"It seems to bother you as well."
"We're friends. That's normal."
The governor gave him a strange look, one Alex wasn't sure how to interpret. It was as if he were saying he'd sensed the lie from miles away but was pretending to believe him.
He couldn't have seen them, could he?
But he might have heard them talking.
"Your Highness, if I may be so bold, a future sovereign should be more careful about the people he befriends."
"William is trustworthy."
"I don't doubt it, but he isn't noble. While the people may seem a king's deep friendship with a commoner as commendable, the nobility will view him as weak and easily manipulated."
Alex furrowed his brow. Was he warning him, or was that a veiled threat?
"The nobility should worry more about its duties than about the future king's friendships."
"Oh, we do—but you know how we are, don't you? Gossip always draws us in."
"Luka, if you have something to say to me, speak plainly."
"I have no idea what you're referring to, Your Highness." Luka gave him a pleasant smile. "However, I've heard rumors that you enjoy the company of men. If that's the case and it pleases you, I could recommend a couple of brothels where you might spend some time. Luxurious places, with skilled companions. I'm quite certain they would be to your taste."
"Speaking from experience, Governor?"
"Obviously." Luka curled his lips into a smirk. "You're not the only one with a weakness for men, Your Highness."
Alex suppressed a shiver; he wasn't sure whether that was an attempt to seduce him. Something in Luka's gaze struck him as dangerous, and Alex couldn't figure out what the governor was trying to gain.
But he could play the part of the shallow prince.
He forced a cordial expression.
"Are you trying to invite me into your bed, Luka?"
The governor laughed pleasantly. "If I'm being honest, Your Highness, I wouldn't mind serving you in that way as well. You're a fascinating man."
"Thank you for the compliment."
"But I have the impression you wouldn't enjoy it."
Alex feigned surprise. "What makes you say that? You're handsome enough to suit my tastes."
"Even if your tastes are… exotic?"
"I'm a man of broad views, Governor. Just like this city."
"A man of broad views with a precious treasure at his side. Someone might want to steal it."
Anger burned in the pit of his stomach, and the smile faded from Alex's face.
"If anyone tries, I'll kill them."
To hell with diplomacy and courteous false words. If that bastard laid a single finger on William, Alex would knock out all his teeth.
Luka smiled, amused. "I'll keep that in mind, Your Highness. But my offer still stands: if you wish, I can warm your bed."
"I'm no longer interested."
He never had been. The governor infuriated him, and after what he'd implied about William, Alex felt a vague sense of nausea.
He doubted Luka would lay hands on his mage, but the more he thought about it, the more those words seemed like a veiled threat rather than a tasteless joke.
Luka feigned dismay. "Have I offended you by any chance?"
"A little, Governor. I don't like it when someone threatens one of my subject—especially him."
"I beg your pardon; it wasn't meant as a threat. I would never touch your lovely jewel, Your Highness. You can be sure of that."
"If anything happens to him, I'll hold you responsible."
For a brief instant Luka seemed to stiffen, but he quickly recovered his usual jovial expression. "Of course, Your Highness."
"Good. Let's move on. I want to bring William his breakfast."
They reached the archives in silence. The mood had shifted, and even the governor seemed less cheerful than before.
Alex didn't care in the slightest—he wanted to reach the mage and make sure he was all right.
He opened the door with a smile on his lips, but it faded the moment he saw William together with another man.