Alex blinked. The first thing he saw when the room came into focus was William on the floor, the bed sheet tangled around his legs.
"Good morning, my beautiful mage."
"I did something inappropriate."
"You were just a little drunk, Will. Nothing to worry about." Alex rolled onto his side and rested his cheek in his palm. "How do you feel?"
He grimaced and pressed two fingers to his temples. "Like I've just been run over by a carriage."
The prince laughed. "It could have been worse. You could have thrown up."
"I don't think I drank that much."
"Only half a pint, but I think even a single glass is enough for you."
William brought a hand to his mouth and looked genuinely embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. At the time it seemed like the best thing to do, but it was stupid of me."
Alex smiled. Seeing him so vulnerable stirred his protective instincts. "Maybe, but it was… fun."
His poison-green eyes sharpened, and the prince's heart skipped a beat. By the spirits, did he find it exciting to be looked at like that?
"Do you enjoy seeing me drunk?"
"No. Maybe a little." Alex grinned. "I like discovering that you're human too."
William let out a shaky breath and ran his fingers over his face. "I shouldn't have. I shouldn't… have lost control."
"You're safe with me. You can be vulnerable; I wouldn't let anyone hurt you." He sat down cross-legged. "You trust me, right?"
"If I didn't, I wouldn't have told you what happened to me." William stood up and sat on the mattress. "Thank you for listening to me last night. It meant a lot to me."
"I'm glad. How do you feel?"
"Lighter. You're the first person I've told, and… it feels like a weight has been lifted from my chest. But I also feel embarrassed and wrong."
Alex wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on his shoulder. "Thank you for trusting me."
"I'm the one who should thank you for not judging me."
"I could never do that. What happened to you wasn't your fault."
William offered a small smile. "Thank you. For looking at me like a person, too."
Alex's heart raced, and the prince forced himself to look away. "I see you for who you are, Will."
"Your Highness, maybe we should go back to being just prince and mage. With nothing else in between."
"I don't want to."
"You know it's the best thing."
"That's not true. It's what the court wants, not what I want."
Alex got out of bed and began pacing back and forth across the room to release the tension.
"Your Highness, you're fooling yourself. You don't feel—"
"Don't even try," the prince cut him off. "Do you know when I first wanted to kiss you?"
"At the lake."
"No. When we were in Astya and you pretended to be my lover. In that moment I couldn't decide whether to kiss you or punch you in the nose."
William frowned.
"I blamed the drug," Alex went on, "but it was just a lie. Because when you were sick from the wound and had a high fever, I wanted to kiss you again, and there was no drug to blame. And it happened again when Ballard slapped you."
He stopped in front of him.
"Do you understand? I wanted to kiss you before I knew what they'd done to you, before you showed me your weaknesses, so no, it's not compassion or pity. It's not a whim, it's not wanting a handsome man who once rejected me."
His voice wavered.
"It's something deeper. It has to be, because with you I feel understood and accepted. And you scold me, but you've never made me feel judged the way my father or the royal advisors do."
William looked away. A faint blush rose to his cheeks. "I apologize, I didn't think that you… I mean, I thought you mostly found me unbearable."
"I do find you unbearable too. Sometimes you irritate me, but sometimes I just want to hold you and make you laugh. And other times I just want to argue with you and then kiss you until your lips are worn raw. But more than anything, I want to keep you by my side."
"Your Highness, all of this is profoundly wrong. I am a broken man and—"
Alex took his face in his hands. "If I wanted a perfect man, I would have chosen myself."
William scowled, his gaze sharp as a blade. "On second thought, maybe I'm the one who's no longer interested in you."
"You're a terrible liar. You want me, otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me." His thumb brushed against William's lips. "I can make you happy. I can stay by your side and help you heal, but you have to let me."
The mage hesitated and bowed his head. "Only if you respect my conditions. Only kisses and caresses until I decide otherwise, and it has to remain a secret between us. If I ask you to stop, you do so immediately and without questions."
Alex nodded. The requests made sense; if William hadn't set them, he would have.
"I accept your conditions."
"Good."
The prince wrapped his arms around him. "Do you know you have an unexpectedly dominant side?"
"Is that a problem for you?"
"No. Honestly, you should show it more often." He brushed his lips against his ear. "I find it very exciting."
William curled up against him. "You have no shame."
"But I bet you like it."
The mage didn't answer, but Alex had the feeling he had just smiled.
After breakfast, they resumed the journey.
The atmosphere in the carriage was light, as if the tension that had built up the day before had melted away with the nighttime confessions and the promise they had made that morning.
William was more relaxed. He looked at him more often, smiling from time to time, and Alex melted inside whenever they brushed against each other.
Around lunchtime they stopped to eat. The soldiers led the carriage a short distance off the road, freed the horses, and began cooking. It was Falko who took on the task of preparing the soup.
"I assure you, mage," he said, lifting his nose, "that I am the best in His Highness's guard when it comes to food."
William looked surprised. "Even though you're nobility?"
"My family belongs to the lesser nobility. We don't have a host of servants waiting on us. And besides, a soldier's life forces you to learn how to use your hands."
"I thought the noble sons in the army were pampered and spoiled."
Falko laughed. "There are some like that, it's true, but on our first day of service our commander sent us to dig the latrine pits. And, to be honest, I complained about it, but then my brother pulled me by the ear and—"
"Falko," Sven hissed. "Shut up and get moving to prepare lunch. We're starving."
"Yes, sir."
Alex barely held back a laugh. Those two brothers were so different that, if not for their physical resemblance, he would never have thought they were related.
William smiled faintly and followed Falko. "May I help you?"
"Thanks, I appreciate it. Ah, no formalities, we're comrades, right?"
The two walked off. Sven sighed and shook his head.
"That fool is sometimes truly unbearable."
"He's good with a sword and at the stove. I could forgive him anything."
"You're far too indulgent."
"Perhaps, but you're my private guard. I don't like to push you too much."
They sat near the carriage and chatted while waiting for lunch. Sven didn't bring up the topic of "William" again, and Alex was grateful for it. He knew the captain wouldn't have liked finding out what they had been doing.
When Falko handed out the soup rations, he skipped the prince's bowl.
Alex frowned. "Am I fasting?"
"No, your portion was prepared by the mage. To apologize for yesterday."
The prince looked at William in amazement. "I didn't know you could cook!"
"I'm not very good, actually. But in the Empire it's one of the ways we ask for forgiveness."
"It's a shame it's not a widespread custom in Vellara."
Alex took the bowl being offered to him, stirred the soup a little, and swallowed a spoonful.
A muddled flavor slid over his tongue. It was too spicy, too sour, with a rubbery consistency and a rancid note underneath.
Alex had never eaten anything so terrible in his entire life, and his stomach tightened as if it wanted to reject the food.
He forced himself to swallow, but a gag rose in his throat. William frowned, his eyes hardening.
"You don't like it, do you?"
"No, it's just…" He brought a hand to his mouth. By the spirits, he was starting to feel sick. "It's… it's strange."
William seemed to catch the lie. "It disgusts you."
"I didn't want to be that blunt."
"You're truly insensitive."
"And you're terrible at cooking."
"Or perhaps you have an overly delicate palate."
William snatched the bowl and spoon from him and took a sip of the soup. His face went ashen and a muscle twitched along his jaw, then he handed the bowl back to the prince, leaned to the side and vomited.
Alex burst out laughing, even though he was still a little nauseous.
"I told you it was awful."
"I admit… cooking isn't my strong suit."
"Falko's cooking is better, huh?"
William lifted his head and gave a small smile. "Yes, definitely."
They ate in a relaxed atmosphere. The soldiers shared anecdotes from their lives in service to the prince, and the mage smiled more than Alex had ever seen him do. And that made the prince happy.
Once they had finished eating, William walked off to rinse the bowls, and Alex followed him, hoping to be alone with him.
He sat down beside William and watched him plunge his hands into the stream.
"Thank you for trying to prepare food for me."
William made a face. "It wasn't a great idea."
"I appreciated it. It was a kind thought."
"Even though I could have poisoned you?"
"It was just terrible."
He plucked a flower with violet petals and tucked it behind the mage's ear. William blinked and looked at him in surprise.
"Your Highness?"
"I wanted to see how handsome you'd look with a flower in your hair."
"Your future wife will be a lucky woman, if you court her like this."
"I don't think I will. At the moment, the only person I want to court this way is you."
Alex leaned toward his face and kissed the tip of his nose, then moved down toward his lips. Before he could brush them, William grabbed his chin and pressed his mouth to his.
The prince sighed against his lips, wrapped his arms around his hips, and pulled him against his body. He let himself be led into that warm, damp waltz. His mouth invited surrender, and he would gladly have melted against his tongue.
They kissed for a long time with slow and gentle, savoring each other. William parted his lips and welcomed him, and trembled beneath his touch when Alex made the kiss even deeper.
When they parted, they were both short of breath, their lips damp.
"Your Highness, you're distracting me from my duties."
Alex burst out laughing, and William shot him a glare before returning to rinsing the bowls in the stream.
"If we're late, it'll be your fault."
"I'll take full responsibility." He kissed him just beneath the mole and stood up. "I'll head back to the carriage. Don't take too long."
He walked away from the stream and reached the grove where they had set up camp, but stopped short when he noticed Sven leaning against a tree trunk.
"You saw us, didn't you?"
The captain nodded and looked at him seriously. "I don't think it's wise to continue, Your Highness."