There is a specific kind of hell reserved for people who lived as killers in their first life. It isn't fire or brimstone. It is a high school orientation assembly.
I stood in front of the massive gates of Rensai High, clutching my bag like it contained a live grenade. Beside me, Mawata was practically vibrating. Her feet tapped the pavement so fast she was probably causing micro-earthquakes, her pink hair a bright flag of energy in the morning sun.
Stop slouching, brat. You look like a defeated cabbage.
Jigoro's voice rattled around my skull. He was currently floating cross-legged in the air, invisible to everyone but us, looking at the other students with pure, unadulterated judgment.
Leave him alone, Jigoro. He is nervous.
Makoto added her two cents, hovering on my other side like a glowing, motherly conscience. Tensei, remember to breathe. And try not to delete anyone's personal space today.
I looked at Mawata, my face a mask of pure exhaustion. "Can we go home? I think I'm developing a sudden, life-threatening allergy to education."
She flashed a grin and grabbed my arm. "Nope. You survived seventy-foot golems and ancestral ghosts, Ten. You can survive Algebra."
"Algebra has more casualties," I muttered as she dragged me through the gates.
As we crossed the threshold, the air changed. It wasn't just the smell of floor wax and teenage hormones. It was the weight. Every pair of eyes in the courtyard turned toward us. More specifically, they turned toward me.
The Nuclear Kid. The City-Flattener. The guy who turned the practical exam into a crater.
I felt Phoenix shift deep inside. He wasn't scared. He was hungry.
Down, boy. I thought, tightening my grip on my bag. We are here for diplomas, not a body count.
Then I saw him. Standing by the main fountain was the guy with the messy grey hair and the eyes that said he'd rather be literally anywhere else. Our homeroom teacher, Tenko Yagi.
He looked at me, let out the heaviest sigh I had ever heard, and checked his watch.
"Kurosaki," he croaked, his voice sounding like sandpaper on gravel. "Try to make it through the first period without causing an international incident. My insurance doesn't cover Acts of God until next month."
I blinked. At least the faculty had a sense of humor. Or a very realistic sense of dread.
He turned away and started walking away before turning back slightly, probably for dramatic effect. "Oh yeah, and the being is calling you". He said flatly.
"What… being?" I asked.
Five minutes later, I was standing in front of a door to a room that could probably pass for a villain headquarters. The students passed the door like they didn't notice it basically emanating "Do not enter here, I am Villain" vibes… or maybe that was just me.
"So, the cryptid dropped a mysterious being waiting for me like its foreshadowing. Impressive. Are all staff trying to be dramatic?" I muttered. Yagi didn't even tell me more, just pointed me in a direction, checked his phone, paled and exited.
"Either this, thing, is the most dangerous being since mosquitoes… or he's just another dramatic adult." I thought before knocking.
"Come in, Kurosaki!" a peppy voice called from inside.
The office was painfully neat. Certificates aligned with weaponized precision. A bookshelf organized by size, not genre. A large wooden desk stood between me and a… really small man whose aura screamed administrative final boss.
"Tensei Kurosaki," he said calmly. "Please, sit."
I sat.
Because for some reason, I was too scared to do otherwise.
"Would you like to know why I've called you here?" he said, smiling a smile that made me feel anything but safe.
"That depends," I replied. "Is this about property damage I haven't committed yet?"
"…It's your first day."
"Optimism is important."
"In that case, no it isn't" he chuckled a bit at that.
"Then… is it about property damage I HAVE committed yet? COUGHmaybeintheentranceexamorsomethingCOUGH"
The Principal, Mr. Hino, took a long, loud sip of his tea. The steam did not just circle; it seemed to be bowing to him.
"You are very loud, Kurosaki kun," he said, his voice light and airy, like he was discussing the weather.
I blinked. "I didn't say anything."
"Your soul is screaming. It is a very crunchy sound. Like glass being ground into sand." He tilted his head, his smile widening by a fraction of a millimeter. It was terrifying. "And you are worried about property damage? How sweet! Truly."
I felt a cold sweat prickle my neck. This guy was not a villain. He was something worse: a genuinely nice person who could probably turn me into a postage stamp without losing his upbeat tone.
"I... I try to be mindful," I managed to say.
"He is a peach," Makoto whispered, drifting closer to Hino. "Tensei, he is adorable."
"He is a predator disguised as a marshmallow," Jigoro countered, hovering with his arms crossed. "Do not let the dimples fool you, boy. He is gauging how much of a headache you are going to be for his budget."
Hino set his cup down with a delicate clink that echoed like a gong. "Rensai High is a very special place. We nurture talent. We build heroes. But most importantly..." He leaned in, his aura briefly flickering with a pink, sugary sweetness that felt like it was made of solid lead. "...we keep our students alive long enough to graduate."
"That is a noble goal," I said, my mercenary instincts screaming at me to find a flashbang.
"It is! Which is why I need you to do me a favor, Kurosaki kun. Try to be a little less existential. Join a club! Make a friend who does not involve seventy foot golems. Be a regular, messy, annoying teenager."
"I am sixteen. I am already annoying," I pointed out.
Hino chuckled, a warm, genuine sound that sent a shiver down my spine. "You are a delight. Now, off you go. Yagi sensei is waiting to bore you to death, and I have a very important meeting with a strawberry shortcake."
I did not wait for a second invitation. I stood up, bowed mostly out of a survival reflex, and backed out of the room.
The moment the door shut, the Villain HQ pressure vanished. The hallway felt normal again.
"I like him," Makoto chirped. "He is very centered."
"He is terrifying," I muttered under my breath.
"Who is terrifying?"
I jumped about six inches. Mawata was leaning against the locker next to the door, tossing an apple in the air. She looked at me, then at the Principal's door, then back at me.
"The Big Boss? Yeah, he is a sweetheart. He gave me a lollipop once after I accidentally broke the sound barrier in the library." She squinted at the air around my head, right where Jigoro was currently zoned out. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Or several."
"Just a weird morning," I sighed, falling into step beside her.
"Well, get used to it. Yagi is starting the Basic Spirit Control lecture. And rumor has it, he is using you as the demo model."
My stomach dropped. "Kill me now."
"Nah, I think I like seeing you suffer." She giggled.
She giggled, but the sound was instantly swallowed by a low, vibrating hum that made my teeth ache before the ceiling above us began to liquefy.
I hate you, Mondays.