Siegfried Fors
It has been raining hard for days.
Nature has been delivering unexpected surprises lately, there was an earthquake a few days ago, though luckily it was a minor one and didn't last more than a few seconds. No real damage was done other than a few things falling off shelves and breaking on the floor.
My eyes moved down to the training field outside my window. Fatty stood in the very center of the mud, getting soaked to the bone. With his back turned toward me I couldn't see his expression, but I could easily guess it. He has been like this ever since we returned from that place.
It has been a month since we came back from the time dungeon. Things have been hectic, one thing after another. It seems we had underestimated the true scope of the disaster. The black sky born from that darkness had expanded as far as the dukedom's capital, prompting the Duke himself to contact Grandpa through an image communication orb—basically a video call. Granny and Grandpa explained the situation as best as they could while omitting certain details.
Ten days later, the Duke's soldiers arrived to make sure the barony hadn't become a permanent darkness infected zone. A few days after that, a High Father from the Faith of Aethelhum arrived with a swarm of Aethel knights and executioners to verify the same. They didn't hold back with questions. I was told to stay inside while Grandpa, Granny, Uncle, and the knights who went with us were questioned for days on end.
I felt terrible guilt for granny and grandpa. With all the interrogation and the political maneuvering, they haven't even had a single quiet moment to mourn…
My throat felt suddenly dry, and I had to force myself to gulp down the lump forming there.
"Mother…"
We have decided to keep the truth a secret for now. From what I know, only James, Silas, the knights, and Doctor Ridge are aware of what truly happened to Mother. Granny and Grandpa didn't tell the truth to the Duke's soldiers or the people from the Faith, either.
Granny and Grandpa...
I let out a heavy breath, remembering their condition. They have become strangers in their own home, carrying the pain alone, and it is breaking them mentally in ways I can barely watch.
Grandpa has hardly left the house unless necessary. Most of the time, I find him sitting in the living room with a bottle of alcohol sitting on the table in front of him. He never drinks a single drop. I have seen him reach for it so many times, his fingers trembling just inches from the bottle, but every time he pulls his hand back at the last second. He just rests his head against the chair and closes his eyes, spending the rest of the day in silence.
Granny has not taken a single lesson since that day.
The silence in her lab, as I sit there all alone, feels more difficult to endure than any lecture she ever gave me.
Sometimes I see her talking with Serena in whispers that die out the moment I enter the room, but mostly she is just alone in the study. She stays in there for hours, buried in her work, but when I sneak in after she leaves to see what she has been doing, the truth is there waiting. Occasionally I find old albums and family portraits left open on the desk, and other times I find the documents she was working on still damp with spots that weren't from the rain.
She hasn't joined us for dinner in days. It is the same with Grandpa, and the dining table has grown too large for the three of us who remain. It is just me, James, Uncle and sometimes lady Serena eating quietly.
Uncle hasn't said much of anything either. I have watched him trying to talk to Granny and Grandpa, trying to find some word, trying to lighten the air with some joke to cheer them up, to bring something back into the house that is no longer there, but he never gets a result. Like me, he looks like a man who has lost his map and doesn't know which way to turn. All I have seen him do is train with Tavian and Ashar from the first light of dawn until the sun comes down. He swings his axe until his hands must hurt, as if he is trying to cut through some invisible grief.
A low growl came from beside me.
I turned my head to see Baloo struggling to climb onto the cushioned sitting space near the window. His paws slipped against the edge, stubborn as always.
I reached out and pulled him up, settling him into my lap. He let out a soft, satisfied rumble and immediately pressed his weight against my chest as if trying to merge with me.
He has been like this every single day since I returned. He seeks me out to cuddle every chance he gets, refusing to let me out of his sight for even a minute. He is not the only one who has changed. I peeked upward to see Faux resting on my head, curled into himself. The Faux has been strangely quiet this past month, hardly speaking a word and most shockingly not even finishing his meals.
Can they tell I am feeling sad?
The thought raised another question.
Am I… feeling sad?
I could not answer it.
I am so confused right now. I don't understand what is happening inside me. It just feels like a heavy weight has been placed on my heart and mind. I don't feel like moving or training or even thinking. I find myself wondering why I even have these feelings at all.
It should have been impossible for me to ever truly see Valka as a mother. I was already an adult when I first opened my eyes in this world. I knew the truth of my soul from the very start, yet for some reason… It still hurts.
I closed my eyes and the earliest memories of her as 'Siegfried Fors' wash over me. Her laughter, her laziness, her getting scolded, her running away from work, her hugging me to sleep, her teaching me magic, her hand ruffling my hair. I could almost hear her voice calling my name.
The lump in my throat grew until it was a physical pain, and I had to force myself to gulp down the bitter bile building in my neck.
Baloo shifted closer and licked my cheek, the small gesture of comfort cutting through the fog in my mind. I slowly reached out to caress the soft fur behind his ears before wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a tight embrace.
A soft knock came from my door.
"Siegfried."
Uncle's voice came from the other side, sounding tired.
"It's open."
I spoke the words into Baloo's fur, not moving from my spot by the window. Uncle walked in holding a familiar looking crystal in his hand.
"It is Zayn. He would like to talk with you." He held the crystal out to me looking at me with worry in his eyes.
Zayn?
My eyes moved from the crystal to Uncle.
"Did you contact him?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.
"No," he shook his head. "I was going through Sis's pouch. The crystal she shared with him was inside it. Pa spoke with him a few days ago, but Zayn couldn't get in touch with him today, so he tried here instead."
I sat up slowly, putting the cub down next to me.
"How did you open her pouch? I thought only her registered mana signature could unlock it." I asked, my voice coming out a little accusatory.
"Before she went into the timestream, she told me she was relinquishing ownership of her pouch. She said there might be useful things inside that we could use." Uncle explained in a calm tone.
She was so thoroughly prepared, as if she knew she would never come back... How was she so sure?
"Okay."
I reached out and took the crystal from his hand.
"Then I will leave you to it. Call me if you need anything," he said quietly.
With that, Uncle turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I looked down at the communication crystal as it sat in the palm of my hand. It was a small thing, yet it felt far too large for my fingers to wrap around. I poured a small amount of mana into it, and the center began to glow softly.
"Sieg."
Zayn's voice came through the crystal, sounding low and careful as if he was trying not to disturb something fragile.
"Zayn," I replied.
There was a moment of silence. He didn't say anything else, as if he didn't know what to say. It looks like it's not only uncle and me who are bad at handling situations like this.
"Is your adventuring work going well?" I asked, forcing the words out to keep the conversation from collapsing.
"Y-yeah, it is all nice and good. I am a great adventurer after all, so there is nothing I can't handle."
Zayn replied in a hurry, his voice rising with a forced energy as if he were desperate to keep up the appearance of normalcy.
"That is good."
I said the words with a smile that he couldn't see.
Again, a few seconds of silence stretched between us.
"What about you? How are you feeling?"
Zayn asked the question softly. Even though he didn't explicitly mention the time dungeon, it was easy to tell exactly what he was talking about.
"That is a difficult question to answer."
I spoke carefully, trying not to let my voice crack or sound too depressed.
"I don't really understand what I am supposed to feel right now."
"It is fine to cry, Sieg. It is fine to just let it all out."
"I think I already did. James told me I was crying in my sleep."
I tried to keep my tone lighthearted, making a small joke of it so the conversation wouldn't become too serious.
"Do you want me to come? I can make time."
I gave a small, breathless laugh as I leaned my head against the cool glass of the window.
"You are being strangely out of character, Zayn. Since when did you become so kind?"
"You should not have to go through this alone… You are just a child."
His voice took on a stern and serious tone that caught me off guard. It was the tone of someone who truly cared.
"It is fine."
I spoke the words to reassure him, though I was mostly trying to reassure myself. Being in a slump was not something foreign to me. I had lived like this for a long time, and in a strange way, I was used to navigating those depths.
"And besides, I have everyone here with me."
He went silent again after that. This time, the quiet didn't feel like the awkward confusion from before, it felt like he was truly thinking about my words.
"I understand," he said at last.
After that, the conversation moved on.
Zayn and I had a long talk that stretched deep into the rainy afternoon. We talked about how he would be returning during the Harvest Festival and the Drake egg he planned to bring with him. We spoke about the Festival of the Wands and the Master Alchemist exam.
The words came easier as we went on, shifting away from what had been weighing on us. All of this served as a much needed distraction from everything else.
Talking to him actually felt good and… it gave me the clarity of mind I needed.
There's only one way through this—Forward.
No turning back.
Because the moment I look back... it will reopen wounds that may never truly close.
So I won't.
I'll keep going.
I'll bury it all beneath strength.
I'll become untouchable… beyond harm… strong enough that no one can reach me anymore.
Strong enough… to be the strongest.
Elara Fors
"This should finally be enough for them."
The words slipped out as I set the paper down, my body sinking into the chair as the tension finally gave way, feeling the cushion press against my aching spine.
"Fourth time… why can they not leave us alone."
Even after those bastards from the Faith of Aethelhum came to inspect the barony in person, questioning us as if they were settling some personal agenda, they continued to demand these endless reports. I have sent three detailed accounts already, yet they pick at the scabs of our story like vultures. We wouldn't even have to bother with this political theater if Valka—
A breath escaped me as my hands rose to my face, my palms pressing hard against my skin, trying to push back anything clawing its way to the surface.
"Why... just why does this keep happening? We got Erik back... so why?"
Something wet touched my palms.
Nowadays, I don't even realize when the tears start falling anymore. They come unbidden and silent, and it feels entirely impossible to make them stop once they begin.
"My Valka…"
No. I forced myself to sit up straight and wiped my face roughly with my sleeves, refusing to let the grief and pain win today. This is not the time to fall apart. I have a grandson who needs me, I should go check how he is holding up.
I stood and stepped out of the room, handing the report to a maid along the way and instructing her to have it delivered to the church. The priest there would handle the rest.
My mind turned toward Sieg as I walked through the quiet halls.
I know he is brilliant and a genius with a perspective far more mature than his years, but part of me still expected him to react differently. I expected him to act like a child who had lost his mother. I thought he would cry until he was breathless or complain about the unfairness of it all, and in a way, that would have made it so much easier to console him. But he didn't do any of those things. He cried a little, but mostly it happened in his sleep. The rest of the time he just spends hours silently staring out of the window at the rain. Even without me, he still goes to the lab to practice alchemy as if nothing has changed.
It is clear he is keeping every bit of that pain locked deep within himself, and that realization makes me worry more than any tantrum ever could. I find myself hesitating at his door, terrified to speak to him. I fear that if I try to comfort him, I will simply end up breaking down myself and making the burden on his young shoulders even heavier.
"Erik…" I called softly.
I know I am being unfair to him too. He has tried so many times to reach out and each time I had nothing to give in return, I find it difficult to look him in the eye without seeing the family we used to be.
"Ma... are you going in to see Sieg?" He asked the question with a small smile that didn't quite reach his tired eyes.
I nodded in response, my hands smoothing the fabric of my sleeves just to give them something to do. "How is he doing today?"
"He is the same." Erik looked down at the floor, his shoulders slumping with a dejected weight, the smile fading just a little. "But he is talking to Zayn on the communication crystal."
Zayn… So he didn't even bother coming.
"Will you be joining us for dinner today?" Erik asked, his voice suddenly thick with an expectant wish that made my heart ache. "I am going to try and get Pa to come down to the table too."
Throvald… will not come. I knew the truth of it before the words were even finished. He has always taken these things worse than anyone else, carrying a destructive habit of blaming himself for every tragedy that touches this family on his shoulders, every loss, every mistake, whether it was his to bear or not.
How can I sit at a table and eat when he is drowning himself in despair just a few rooms away?
Like every night, I will probably end up trying to coax him into eating something in the living room while he sits there in the dark. He always asks about Sieg, about Erik, and about everyone else. He spends his days caring for everyone except himself.
Still, I forced the words out.
".... If your father joins the table, then so will I."
I managed a faint smile.
Erik nodded quickly, his eyes widening with a spark of hope that I couldn't bear to look at for long.
"I will do my best to bring him down, Ma. I promise."
With that, he walked past me and headed for the stairs, his footsteps echoing with a renewed energy. As I watched him vanish around the corner, I couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over me. I know my son, and I know my husband. I know that Erik is going to be let down again, and there is nothing I can do to shield him from that disappointment.
We are all trying to pull each other out of the water, but we are all too heavy with pain and guilt to lift.
I stood in front of Sieg's door, my hand hovering just inches from the wood as I listened to the muffled sounds coming from inside. I could hear his voice, and for the first time in weeks, it sounded relaxed.
Maybe I shouldn't show my depressed mug and spoil the mood. I turned around and started walking away, knowing full well that I wasn't really sparing him from my grief, but rather sparing myself from the guilt of looking at him.
The betrayed face he made when we refused to tell him why that unending demon was so obsessed with him still haunted my thoughts.
But we cannot let his progress falter just because our own mental states have crumbled. If not to defy the prophecy, then for the sake of his own future.
There is only one thing I can do for him right now.
I made my way to the library and pushed the doors open. James was sitting at one of the large tables with a book spread out in front of him, and he turned toward me the moment he heard me enter the room.
"Good afternoon, Grandmother."
As he spoke, his small brows knit together in a look of deep concern. I couldn't help but sigh internally at the thought that even a child as young as him was spending his days worrying about my well-being. I moved closer to the table and slowly reached out to ruffle his hair.
"Continue with your studies. I will be with you shortly."
The worried expression on his face vanished, replaced by a bright smile as he nodded and turned back to his reading.
I walked past the shelves, my eyes moving along the rows.
She should be around here somewhere, as she has been appearing and leaving this library constantly over the past month. She stays to talk or to read, simply passing the time as she observes the area around the barony.
"Oh, Elara. Here to talk about our mundane lives again?"
My teacher, Serena, spoke with her usual, all knowing smile. She was sitting by the large bay window with a small, elegant table set before her looking entirely too peaceful amidst the heavy rain outside and melancholy in the house. A plate of sweets and warm tea laid out in a perfect spread, a book resting in her hand as she held her place in her reading with a practiced, effortless grace.
"…Something along those lines."
I had been coming to her often.
More than I expected.
She has spent our time telling me of her travels and what she has been doing since her long disappearance and I spoke of everything else… The things I could not say to anyone in this house, laying out all my faults and my failures for her to see. I had honestly expected her to wave me away or scoff at my sorrows, but unexpectedly, she listened to every word. I suppose I had maintained too low an opinion of my teacher's humanity over the years.
"Have you managed to get used to life here in the barony yet?" I asked, falling into the role of a polite host before shifting toward the true reason for my visit.
"Hm. More or less. It is a quiet and nice place, and it has certainly improved since the last time I remembered passing through here, though it still lacks in a few minor areas." She used a small fork to dig into a piece of cake and took a dainty bite, closing her eyes for a moment to savor the flavor. "Like a place with truly good confections, for instance. Have you ever thought about growing some new, original tea leaves? I have a few new creations of my own that you might want to try." She slowly picked up her cup with a graceful motion and took a long, steady sip.
"I will put it on the list of our upcoming agendas and talk with my husband about the possibility." I said as I moved closer to her table, trying to approach the main topic as gently as possible. "But actually, I came here today because I need to ask a personal favor of you."
I took a deep breath, clutching my hands together as I forced the words out.
"I want you to teach—"
"Not doing that."
She interjected flatly before I could even complete my sentence. She didn't even bother to look up from her tea.
"Why?" I asked, my voice coming out much louder and sharper than I had intended it to be in this quiet library.
"I am not going to hold the hand of a small pup who has just lost his mother," she replied without hesitation. "Already done that once, and it didn't end well. I decided to stay to assess the situation, and now that I've finished, I'll be leaving with that boy we found in the source." She said as she finished her tea in one smooth motion.
The child she spoke of hasn't even woken up yet, but I knew her well enough to know that a small detail like that would never stop her. She stood up from the table, her movements fluid and careless as she walked past me.
She has always been like this, doing exactly what she wants whenever the whim strikes her. It is no surprise that she acts this way. Who in this world can even dream of stopping her? But she is forgetting one very important detail. At the end of the day, I am still her student, and I learned more from her than just alchemy.
"Now that I think about it, I never took my reward," I said aloud, pitched just high enough for her to hear as if I were simply talking to myself.
She stopped in her tracks. She didn't turn around, and no reply came.
It was a reward she had promised me a lifetime ago. She told me that if I passed the Master Alchemist exam, she would reward me with anything within her power. As the naive child I was back then, I told her that just having her with me was the greatest reward I could ever ask for. She had denied me then, telling me to go away and think about it until I found something I really want.
"At that time, I couldn't think of a single thing I wanted. But now I can think of many things. Surely my Great Teacher, the unmatched and beautiful Lady Serena, is going to keep her promise, right?" I didn't even try to hide my intentions as I threw those words at her back.
She finally turned around to face me. A wild, dangerous smirk played on her face, and her eyes sparkled with interest.
"Well played."
She walked to a nearby table and pulled out a chair, sitting down with one leg crossed over the other. She rested her arm on the table and leaned her face into her hand, watching me with a look of amusement. "I always liked this side of yours much better. All that 'good girl' act never really suited you, Ellie."
"So what do you want?" she asked, her gaze fixed on me with clear interest, as if she had already begun to enjoy where this was going.
I did not hesitate.
"Help us defy prophecy." I said, my voice stable despite the storm inside me. Our goal has been fixed from the very start, an unshakeable line drawn in the sand against a fate we never asked for.
"Hmm." Serena crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair as she studied me. "I can certainly try, but are you sure about losing me too?"
My brows drew together in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"The future is already determined, flowing in a single, straight line where Aethelhum absorbs any alternate possibilities and choices. Everything is fixed by fate. The future can only be changed by those born outside of it, like me and your grandson or those who have broken through the constraints of Fate like your daughter and Aethelhum does not look kindly upon those who intervene with his decided path. So, do you understand what I mean?"
"Are you telling me that everything that happened to Valka was because we tried to defy the prophecy?" I asked, each word scraping on the way out. I could hardly believe the cruelty of what she was implying, that our struggle for freedom was the very thing that tightened the noose around my daughter's neck.
"I believe so, because I was told by 'someone' that interesting things were happening on this continent, and that 'someone' is related closely to the inner workings of this world."
I wondered who this someone could be, but my teacher continued before I could even process the thought.
"So, if I truly try to defy the prophecy alongside you, there is a very real chance that I will be removed from the board as well."
A quiet heat rose within me.
The audacity!!!!
They dragged our family into this and expect us to just take it all sitting down?
Are we really nothing more than puppets to them?
Valka's face surfaced in my mind.
The anger increased even more.
My Valka was treated like a discarded toy, and the thought makes my blood boil.
They need to pay for this.
Every single one of them needs to feel our PAIN!!!
"If you understand," she said, her voice cutting through my thoughts, "then let me ask you one more time, Elara. What do you want?"
I gritted my teeth, thinking of all the unfairness and the years of agony we endured. After everything that has been taken from us, there is only one thing left to ask for.
Only one answer.
"My daughter once told me that Sieg is the unconquered sun destined to rise above all."
"There is potential for that," she admitted.
"Then protect him!" I said, my voice rising as everything I had been holding back spilled out. "Train him. Make him strong enough that one day his flames reach the heavens and burn away that accursed tree."
My words coming out as a silent vow of war.
A devious, wide smile crept onto her face like she had been waiting for me to say those exact words.
"Gladly accepted."
Her eyes lingered on me before she added, almost casually, "But should you not ask for his opinion?"
I moved my head left to right.
"As much as I know my grandson, his flames are already ignited and ready to burn anything that dares to stand in his way."