"Come on, you've got more in you than that, Fluffy."
"Just a bit more. Squeeze. I believe in you. Don't tell me you're that weak, you're not, right? Right?"
Inside Fluffy's chamber, Theodore was holding a blood pump conjured by Transfiguration, pressed neatly against one of the three-headed dog's main arteries.
On the other side was a huge wooden tub, also transfigured, filled to the brim with thick, dark red blood.
This was the third tub.
Fluffy's eyes were full of pleading.
"There's nothing left. I swear, not a drop."
The Biting Cabbage tossed in the corner had stuck its head into the soil, refusing to watch this carnage.
This boy is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.
Theodore checked Fluffy's condition with Piercing Subtlety Heavenly Eye.
It really was tapped out. If he forced another tub, the dog would be out of commission for quite a while.
And if Voldemort tried to break in during that window, that would be… troublesome.
He still wanted to farm some more merit off Voldemort later.
"All right, all right. Three tubs should be plenty for a batch of pills."
He patted Fluffy.
"That's it for today. Get some rest. I'll come back in a few days."
Fluffy shivered.
He's coming back?
Hogwarts is too scary. Can some kind soul please adopt a three-headed dog? Anyone?
Then Theodore channelled a stream of spiritual qi from his Reversing Five Elements Origin Sea, pushing it into Fluffy's body.
The dog let out a sound of pure bliss.
Losing that much blood honestly wasn't a big deal. With a three-headed dog's constitution, a day's rest would have been enough.
But this qi infusion was actual improvement—refining its bloodline, making it stronger.
In just moments, the rudimentary bulge of a fourth head on Fluffy's neck had grown more distinct.
Once it recovered, every aspect of Fluffy would be stronger than today.
Feeling that benefit, Fluffy's resistance to the blood draws evaporated. It even gave a hopeful whine at Theodore, as if asking for more pats.
The Biting Cabbage in the corner tried to dig itself deeper.
This is worse.
The little wizard brainwashed the three-headed dog. He must have used the Imperius Curse. There's no other explanation.
A little later, under Fluffy's reluctant gaze—he clearly wanted more scritches—Theodore walked into the second chamber.
This time, the Devil's Snare, which had already suffered at his hands once, retracted itself the moment it sensed who had entered.
But there were new faces waiting: row upon row of Biting Cabbages in pots.
Each one was thicker and sturdier than the juvenile plant Dumbledore had given him, fully mature.
They snapped their rows of vicious teeth together, ka-cha, ka-cha, eager to bite something.
Unfortunately, they were still a little distance away from Theodore. Unless he went to them himself, they weren't reaching that tasty-looking wizard.
And who would be stupid enough to walk voluntarily into biting range of so many Biting Cabbages?
To their collective confusion, Theodore took one look—and beamed.
He strode toward them like he'd just spotted a mountain of Galleons.
The few closest Cabbages immediately started clacking faster. The moment Theodore stepped into range, they lunged to bite.
The next second, they all froze.
This doesn't feel right.
Why does this feel like biting a brick?
No, even a brick would be easier. What is this?
How is this kid harder than iron?
A beat later, several Biting Cabbages went completely still.
Their teeth rattled loose one by one, raining down onto the floor.
They didn't move again.
Theodore sighed, looking deeply aggrieved.
"Hey, that wasn't my fault. You all saw that—they attacked me first, then pretended to be the victims."
"This kind of behaviour is outrageous. Must be punished."
He grabbed those few Cabbages, yanked them out of their pots, and hoisted them up.
A flame blossomed in his palm. He wrapped each Biting Cabbage in alchemical fire, roasting and refining at the same time.
Very soon, Theodore's nose twitched.
He swallowed.
A clear, slightly sweet aroma drifted up.
Suddenly he understood.
Charcoal-grilled cabbage?
Isn't this basically stir-fried cabbage in another form?
Back in his previous life, stir-fried cabbage had been one of his favourite home dishes.
If it came from a home-grown garden patch, it even had that lovely natural sweetness.
These Cabbages came straight from Professor Sprout's greenhouse—special varieties, no less. No wonder they smelled this good even without seasoning.
Thinking that, Theodore picked up a freshly roasted Biting Cabbage, took a big bite, and his eyes lit up.
"Yes, that's it. The wok-flavour is perfect. Delicious."
"Another one!"
By the time he'd finally sated his appetite, the remaining Cabbages in front were utterly silent.
Their mouths, which had been gaping before, were clamped shut. Not a single tooth dared show.
It wasn't that they were cowards.
It was just—there had always been Biting Cabbages biting wizards.
Not wizards eating them.
And stir-frying them?!
Theodore slapped his forehead, suddenly annoyed with himself.
"Ah, damn. I was supposed to collect their essence as ingredients for the pill. I ate the test batch…"
"I'll have to find a few more."
He stalked forward, scanning the pots.
It would be great if a few stubborn ones tried to bite him again—then he wouldn't have to choose.
Unfortunately, every Biting Cabbage in sight was as still as an ordinary head of lettuce.
He sighed.
"No helping it…"
Just as the Cabbages were starting to relax, Theodore poked one of them at a very precise point.
The plant convulsed like it had been tickled, mouth flying open as it trembled uncontrollably, teeth clicking together in rapid-fire ka-cha-ka-cha.
Theodore promptly shoved his hand in.
The Biting Cabbage clamped down on him with all its might.
He sighed dramatically.
"You all saw that. I was just stretching, and it chose that moment to ambush me. I'm not accusing it unjustly."
The surrounding Cabbages went rigid.
Then their mouths flew open and they all started clacking frantically.
They couldn't speak, or they'd be screaming.
Set-up. This is a set-up!
You're bullying Biting Cabbages!
What happened to wizarding ethics?
Dumbledore, is this how you raise your students? He's oppressing a vulnerable population!
So what if we're Biting Cabbages—Biting Cabbages still have rights!
Why don't we have a Biting Cabbage Protection Act yet? What is the Ministry of Magic even doing?
Useless!
A short time later, Theodore was holding several more Cabbages, refining them into bright green pill-cores on the spot.
He glanced at the remaining Cabbages and raised a brow.
"This variety is rare. I should cultivate them properly and expand the crop."
"How else am I supposed to eat stir-fried Biting Cabbage in the future?"
Luckily, he had Blessing of Agriculture, and his spiritual qi reserves were especially rich at the moment.
He channelled qi into the pots. With his farming talent activated, the Biting Cabbages plumped up like balloons, growing visibly larger.
Every one of them radiated pure terror.
Pigs are fattened for slaughter.
So when Biting Cabbages are fattened…
"Mum!"
"Professor Sprout, Mum!"
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