The day had started like any other well, as normal as it could get for Arthur Grant, full-time salaryman and part-time anime addict.
He was trudging home from ComiCon, still half in cosplay, his backpack stuffed with overpriced merch and his soul filled with the kind of satisfaction only otaku enlightenment could bring.
"My bank accounts in shambles," he muttered, smiling to himself, "but my heart's full of waifus and plastic dreams."
He turned the corner toward the train station.
That was when the light hit him.
No sound. No warning. Just blinding, pure white that swallowed everything.
When his vision returned, he wasn't on the street anymore.
He was floating suspended in an infinite, colorless void. The air was still, the silence too loud.
"Okay… not normal," he whispered. "Either I'm dreaming or I've finally hit the hidden route of life."
A voice echoed through the darkness smooth, amused, and layered like a thousand tones at once.
"Not a dream, Arthur."
A humanoid figure appeared, glowing with a blinding brilliance, every inch of its being radiating cosmic authority.
"You may call me ROB. Most people do."
Arthur blinked. "...ROB? As in Random Omnipotent Being? You've got to be kidding me."
The being chuckled.
"You're surprisingly quick on the uptake. Yes, that's me. And before you ask, you're dead."
Arthur froze. "Dead? But how?"
"A fragment of unstable cosmic energy. Instantaneous. Vaporized before your brain even processed pain. Efficient, right?"
Arthur groaned. "So, I didn't even get hit by Truck-kun? That's just lazy writing."
"Hey, not my department," ROB said, shrugging. "But since you're here, and I'm bored, I'll make you an offer nclassic reincarnation package. New world, new life, three wishes."
Arthur's otaku brain short-circuited. "...You're serious?"
"As death itself."
ROB waved his hand, and a colossal gacha machine appeared in the void rows upon rows of glowing names of fictional worlds. Naruto, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Tensura, Danmachi…
In the center: a massive red button.
Arthur stared. "You've got to be kidding. My next life depends on RNG?"
"Fate's just another form of gacha," ROB said with a grin. "Push the button, mortal."
Arthur sighed, muttering a quick prayer to RNGesus and every anime deity he knew.
"Please, not Attack on Titan. Please, not Dark Souls."
He pressed the button.
The console flared with gold light, worlds flashing by in a blur until it stopped with a loud ding.
[Selected World: Danmachi – Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?]
Arthur blinked, then grinned.
"...Okay, I can work with that. Gods, dungeons, and Bell Cranel levels of plot armor. Not bad."
ROB's tone turned mildly impressed.
"Not the safest world, but not the worst either. Alright, now for your wishes. Two abilities, one item nothing world-breaking."
Arthur rubbed his chin. "Before that…"
"Hm?"
Arthur crossed his arms. "Danmachi's world isn't exactly peaceful, is it? The One-Eyed Black Dragon the thing that even the strongest gods fear. Does your power limit apply even in that case?"
ROB chuckled, glowing brighter, clearly entertained by the question.
"Ah, the Black Dragon. You do know your lore. I see you've read beyond the anime."
Arthur smirked. "Naturally. I'm an otaku, not a casual."
"Well," ROB said, folding his arms, "rules are rules. You still only get your three wishes. But since you were smart enough to ask, I'll sweeten the deal two extra wishes. Same limits: one ability, one item. That should make it fair."
Arthur's eyes widened. "You mean it?"
"Don't push it. I'm generous, not suicidal."
Arthur nodded; eyes gleaming. "Alright then. My first three: Great Sage and Predator from Tensura, and Dragon Slayer Magic from Fairy Tail."
ROB tilted his head. "Ambitious. Fine. And your items?"
"Gate of Babylon from Fate, and a Demon Lord Seed from Tensura."
There was a long silence. Even the void seemed to stop breathing.
"You… want Gilgamesh's treasury and a power-up seed that turns mortals into gods?" ROB finally said.
Arthur shrugged. "You said I could ask. And if the One-Eyed Black Dragon's still flying around, I'll need all the help I can get."
ROB sighed, rubbing the bridge of his glowing nose.
"You humans. Always min-maxing."
He flicked his hand, a golden ripple spreading through the void.
"Fine. But Gate of Babylon is nerfed. Each item can only be used once per day, and EA—the Sword of Rupture is limited to once a year. You break that rule, and I revoke it."
Arthur nodded instantly. "Deal."
"Then it's done," ROB said, raising a hand. "Your new life begins now. Try not to blow up Orario."
Arthur grinned. "No promises."
With a snap of ROB's fingers, golden energy enveloped him, his body dissolving into light.
"Wait, what about my new body?! Do I at least get to—"
And he was gone, scattered into starlight.
ROB hovered alone in the void, chuckling softly.
"A sharp one. I give him two weeks before he makes a goddess cry."
He glanced toward the endless black horizon.
"Well, Danmachi… let's see how you handle your new variable."
The void shimmered once, then fell silent.