A week passed, and honestly, I was enjoying this married life more than I thought I would. Not that I'd admit it out loud, of course. Still, some things confused me.
Sometimes I tried to remember my old memories with Radrien, but nothing came — like my brain had hit delete before the campus trip. And yet, his touches always left this lingering, familiar feeling, as if my body remembered what my mind couldn't.
The way his eyes looked at me, deep and full of love, but with that flicker of longing, pain, and uncertainty, it unsettled me in the best and worst ways. And every little thing he did — every smile, every joke, every random nick — felt like déjà vu I couldn't place. Then there was the sleep thing. Every morning, I'd wake up to find him awake, acting as if he'd just rolled out of bed, while I could clearly see he hadn't slept a single inch all night. He always looked exhausted, yet he hid it behind that calm, perfect face of his. And the wrist marks, new ones appearing out of nowhere, bite marks on his neck, and the way he never reacted to them like it was no big deal.
Honestly, anyone else would've suspected cheating — but I knew it wasn't possible.
Since the day we moved in, he hadn't left this house for even a second. He never let me out of his sight, not at night, not at day. If he needed to shower or use the bathroom, he'd make sure I stayed nearby, talking to him, checking in as if letting me go even for a moment was unthinkable.
Everything about him, about us, confused me. I couldn't put it together. Finally, I decided to make him take a break from the house. I didn't tell him why — because, duh, I'm shy like that — but I made him agree to a walk, a little "date," just outside. He held my hand the entire time, squeezing it gently but firmly, making sure I stayed right beside him. Not a step away.
I felt safe, and a little overwhelmed. But, honestly? I didn't mind.
We were walking side by side, ice creams in hand, chatting about random nonsense.
Honestly, such a simple thing felt so good and comfortable. But at the same time, I was mad at him. Why couldn't he let me breathe for even a second? What was his deal?
Actually, I had a plan. I wanted to buy him something — a little gift. In the house, he did everything: cooking, dishes, laundry, basically running the entire show while I just, existed.
I just sat around, watched TV, smiled, let him hug me, kiss me, the usual. I felt bad that he did so much for me while I couldn't do anything for him. A small gift might at least show him that I cared. That, I appreciated him. But there was one problem: he never let me out alone.
I tried to come up with an idea.
"Lenny, what's wrong?" Radrien asked gently, noticing my distant gaze.
"I wanna use the bathroom," I said quickly.
"Sure, let's find one nearby," he said, walking ahead like he was already taking control of the plan. Great, just what I needed.
Soon we reached a small café. I stopped. "Okay, stay here. I'll be quick," I said, trying to sound casual. He froze.
"No, let me come too."
"The hell do you want to come along for? Stay here, I'll be fast."
"No, please, let me go too. I'll stay outside the door," he said, voice shaky, almost pleading. "Gosh, stop being so clingy! Just stay here, alright? Go inside and Get a cake for me, I'll be right here," I said firmly.
He hesitated, swallowing hard, face shaking slightly. "Then be quick. Don't go anywhere else, please," he added, almost begging.
I nodded, using the moment to push him inside the café, making sure he started chatting with the barista. Then, I darted across the street, heading to the store ten minutes away. I was on a mission — no way I was letting him ruin my little plan.
The store was buzzing with customers, filled with toys, plushies, clothes, and all sorts of trinkets. Cold air and bright lights reflected off the white tiles, making everything sparkle. "Welcome! What would you like to buy?" the lady at the counter asked kindly.
"Gifts, for my husband," I muttered, glancing at the wristwatches in the glass case. She blushed slightly and stepped aside, letting me explore.
Everything looked expensive, but one caught my eye — a dark blue watch that looked sleek and dashing. I also noticed a small shelf of plushies and picked up a soft foxy one, it's little face somehow reminding me of Radrien. It's fur was impossibly soft, and I couldn't help but squish it gently in my hands.
I looked through the other plushies, considering which one would suit him best. Then suddenly, the door burst open. The gust of air made the bells ring loudly, startling everyone in the store. I froze.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw Radrien standing there. His suit was slightly rumpled, hair out of place, sweat glistening on his forehead. His chest heaved as if he'd run a marathon.
"Radrien." I whispered, stunned.
Before I could finish, he was sprinting toward me, eyes wide, voice shaking. "What are you doing here? I told you not to go anywhere, didn't I? Then why didn't you listen to me?!" His tone was sharp, cold, almost terrifying.
Everyone in the store froze, staring at the scene. I could feel their eyes on us, but I barely noticed — I was frozen, too flustered, caught between amusement, panic, and that familiar inexplicable pull toward him, though I was also unsure how to react.
Why was he so, scared? So panicked?
"I'm sorry, but why are you overreacting? I'm just here. It's not a big deal." I tried to reason.
"Stop!" His voice cut me off, sharp but trembling. "That doesn't justify why you'd come here alone when I clearly said you shouldn't go anywhere without me! Why don't you ever listen—not now, not that time either." His voice cracked, tears brimming in his eyes. He looked so small, so vulnerable, that my chest tightened painfully.
I blinked, shocked and confused.
Why was he like this? In front of everyone? And why did it make me feel hurt. genuinely hurt.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I just wanted to buy things," I whispered softly. He looked at me, eyes searching mine, voice quieter but intense.
"Buy what?" His gaze fell to the plushie and the watch in my hands.
Without a word, he grabbed them from me and handed them to the employee. "Please, send the entire collection of these two to this address," he said, his tone sharp and commanding.
The lady blinked in disbelief. "Entire, collection?"
"Yes. Didn't you hear me the first time?" His patience was threadbare. He pulled out a card, scribbled the pin code, and handed it to her. "Take whatever amount you need—just make sure it arrives safely." Then he grabbed my wrist, firm but not hurting, and pulled me toward the door.
I stumbled a little, still processing, leaving the employee and the other customers wide-eyed, whispering, goosebumps running down their spines.
I felt a shiver run down my own spine as he held me tight, his grip steady, almost possessive. He called his driver, voice impatient but controlled.
As soon as the car arrived, he guided me inside, making sure I was seated safely before slipping in himself. He instructed the driver to go by himself while he drives. I could barely speak, my mind a swirl of confusion, awe, and something deeper I couldn't name.
Radrien's hands rested lightly on mine for a brief moment before moving to adjust the seatbelt, eyes flicking to me with a mixture of care, worry, and something painfully intimate.
And in that moment, I realized: no matter how mad he looked, no matter how overprotective or controlling he seemed, I didn't mind. Not at all.
The silence in the car was suffocating. I gripped the seatbelt so tightly my knuckles whitened, sneaking glances at him. His face was cold, unreadable, yet tears streaked down his cheeks.
"What, what happened with you? Why are you crying? I mean, I'm sorry! I won't do it again, but, it isn't a big deal, is it? Why are you like this?" I asked, my voice shaky, a mix of confusion and concern.
"You don't know, you can't remember," Radrien whispered, voice breaking as if he'd been holding this inside for years.
I felt heat rise in my chest, a mix of anger and frustration. "I know I can't remember! Why can't you just tell me then?!" I snapped, unable to hold it in any longer. "Do you think it's fine for me to always feel like I'm missing something? Like you're hiding something huge from me? I feel like I'm forgetting everything, like important parts of me are just, gone! If you know the reason, then just tell me! Let me know! Stop hiding it, Radrien!"
He slammed on the brakes, the tires screeching slightly as the car skidded to a corner. His hands clenched the wheel so tightly I feared it might crack. "What do you want to know? Why do you want to know?" His voice trembled, raw and vulnerable.
"I just, I want to know. Don't twist my words," I said, my chest heaving, heart racing.
He exhaled sharply. "Fine, then which part do you want to know? The part where we've been dating for five years?"
I froze. The words hung in the air like a thunderclap, stopping my heart.
"Or, the part where you've been thinking of us as enemies, when we've been in love ever since childhood!" His voice cracked, pain bleeding through every syllable. He couldn't look at me; his hands gripped the wheel so hard the knuckles turned white, and tears fell freely.
My mind felt like it was unraveling. "Huh, what?" I muttered, blinking, unable to process.
"You can't remember anything, nothing," he choked out, pressing his forehead against the steering wheel. "This marriage, we both planned it together. Planned it to officially be ours after that trip, but guess what? That trip, it's the reason all this happened. It's why you became like this, and it's all my fault. If I had kept my eyes on you, if I hadn't let you out of my sight, if I hadn't let you go into the woods that day, you wouldn't have suffered, you wouldn't have, become like this. Forgetting me, forgetting us, forgetting everything."
His voice broke into a guttural sob, and he buried his face in his hands, trembling.
My chest constricted, heart aching, realizing just how much pain he had carried alone all this time.
I could feel the weight of his pain, but I couldn't do anything—I just sat there, frozen, confused. I didn't remember anything he was saying, yet, there was this tug, a strange familiarity in his words, like echoes of something I should know.
My mind felt like it was trying to crawl toward a memory I couldn't reach.
Suddenly, a sharp, stabbing ache erupted in my head. It was unbearable. Images—flashes of something—blurred through my vision, but each one brought more pain.
"Ah, it, it hurts," I muttered, clutching my hair.
Radrien froze.
In an instant, he was by my side, holding me gently, but I trembled violently, pain coursing through me. The world went dark, and before I knew it, I collapsed into his arms.
"No, not again, Lenny, shit," His voice cracked with fear. He quickly started the car, rushing to the hospital like every second counted.