Chapter 166: Butler Service
Kouya's face darkened immediately, his brow twitching with barely contained irritation.
'Even if I were a pervert, it's not your place—the girl who blocks the school gate every morning yelling, "I want to bear Lord Shiraha's children!"—to lecture me!' The absurdity of the situation almost made him laugh, but his patience had already worn thin.
"Lord Shiraha's chastity shall be protected by me!" The twin-tailed girl, Alice, announced with dramatic flair. She struck a ridiculous pose, one hand on her waist and the other extended in command, her bright eyes glinting with self-righteous passion. "By my command, pervert, begone from this sacred ground!"
'Ah, just a dumb pervert girl. Not worth arguing with her...'
'No, wait—how could I not argue! (╯‵□′）╯︵┻━┻!'
With a sigh that turned into a growl, Kouya reached forward and seized one of her twin tails, tugging it just enough to make her squeal. His eyes narrowed into thin slits. "You've got some nerve, huh?"
"L-let go! Don't touch my twin tails!" Alice cried out, twisting away as if he'd violated her deepest secret. "That's sacred! Only a girl's special place mustn't be touched!"
'So the twin tails can't be touched, but the rest of you can?!' The thought flickered through his head, and his lips twitched.
'Or are you like that red-haired idiot whose real body is a pineapple bun—your twin tails are your actual body?!'
"Hey, Kouya-kun, it's not good to use violence against girls, okay?" Raphiel finally intervened, her voice dripping with calm amusement. She placed a delicate hand on Alice's shoulder and smiled. "And Alice, stop saying weird things like that. You'll give everyone the wrong idea."
"G-got it..." Alice sniffled, her eyes glossy with fake tears.
Kouya snorted and released the twin tail, brushing imaginary dust from his fingers.
The girl immediately darted behind Raphiel, peeking out from her back just to stick her tongue at him. "Bad guy! Bleh~"
Then, terrified he'd come after her again, she spun around and bolted a few steps ahead.
"Come on, Kouya-kun, let's go too," Raphiel said with that same angelic smile that always managed to hide mischief.
Hmph, fine! Let's see what nonsense you two are planning this time!
...
As they disappeared down the street, another figure arrived at the school gate—a black-haired girl with straight, glossy hair falling to her waist.
It was Machiko, heading home from class.
"Eh? H-Kouya-kun!" she gasped, stopping mid-step. When she recognized his figure, her expression morphed from surprise to utter disbelief. "That girl next to him... isn't that Shiraha from the next class?!"
Because the twin-tailed Alice was shorter and walking ahead, Machiko didn't notice her.
"Oh my god! So cute! So cute!" she whispered frantically, clutching her bag.
"Yesterday he went on a date with Gabriel, and today he's with another girl…"
Her heart pounded against her palm as she pressed her hand to her chest. Her breathing hitched, her eyes wide and unfocused. "S-so Kouya-kun isn't just two-timing... he's three-timing now?!"
"No, no, that can't be... maybe I'm mistaken." She shook her head hard, but her legs betrayed her, already following them from a distance.
...
"What exactly are we doing?" Kouya asked after several minutes of walking. The question came out flat, edged with suspicion.
The pair in front exchanged a glance. They didn't look like they were simply heading to a café.
Raphiel smiled, tapping a slender finger against her chin. "Well, Alice's mom just opened a new café, and Alice invited me over for coffee. But going alone felt a bit awkward, so I thought it'd be more fun if you joined us, Kouya-kun."
'How does bringing a third wheel make it less awkward? You absolute menace.'
'Do you even deserve your fan club!'
"Bad guy! Don't insult Lord Shiraha in your heart!" Alice snapped suddenly, puffing her cheeks.
'Huh? What the hell—can you read minds now?'
"Hmmph! Lord Shiraha told me everything," she declared proudly. "You might not talk much, but those super lewd eyes of yours tell all—ahhh! Don't pull my twin tails again!"
"You never learn, do you," Kouya said dryly, letting go with a flick.
He sighed. "By the way, why are you even wearing a high school uniform? It looks like you stole it."
"Y-you're the one who looks like a grade schooler! Your whole family are grade schoolers!" Alice's face flushed red as she puffed up like an angry kitten. "Alice isn't a kid! I'm just... a late bloomer! I drink milk and jump rope every day, I'll definitely grow taller!"
'Sorry, I was going to say middle schooler, but wow—you've really been mistaken for an elementary student before, huh?'
'And instead of jumping rope, maybe I should just pull your twin tails to help you 'grow' faster.'
"Alice's in Class Three. She's our classmate," Raphiel said with a knowing grin.
Kouya gave her a sidelong look and said nothing.
Alice, however, wasn't done. She crossed her arms and lifted her chin high. "Hmph! Even if we're classmates, I'll never consider you my equal!"
"En-en-en-en... enjo—!!"
The long-haired girl tailing them only caught fragments of words carried by the wind. Her face turned pale.
'Even with so many girlfriends, he still... pays girls for services? Kouya-kun... you're a monster!'
...
After a short walk, the trio arrived at the café.
It was newly renovated, the air filled with a faint sweet aroma of coffee beans and vanilla. The sign gleamed with fresh paint, and soft music drifted through the glass windows. Bright colors, comfortable seats, and tidy décor gave the place a fresh, cozy feel.
"Welcome!" A cute maid opened the door with a practiced smile. When she saw Alice, her eyes lit up. "Miss Alice, you're here!"
"I told you, stop calling me 'Miss!'" Alice said, puffing her chest as she strutted inside. "I want a sundae—hurry up!"
"Of course, Miss Alice." The maid bowed politely before hurrying off.
The three found a table by the window. Not long after, the same maid returned carrying three tall glasses of sundaes—layers of ice cream topped with crushed nuts, whipped cream, chocolate flakes, cherries, and strawberries. Each one looked almost too pretty to eat.
"I'll get back to work now. Call me if you need anything, Miss Alice." The maid bowed again.
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead," Alice waved her off, already scooping up a strawberry and biting into it with satisfaction. Her eyes curved into happy crescents, like a little hamster savoring its favorite treat.
Kouya silently finished his sundae, downed a cup of coffee, and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "I'll head out first."
"Wait!" Raphiel clasped her hands together, smiling sweetly. "Kouya-kun, since we treated you, could you help us with a tiny favor?"
"What favor?" he asked, suspicion dripping from every word.
"Well," Raphiel began, "Alice's mother's café isn't doing well. The foot traffic's low, and Alice thinks it's because the place lacks a... unique attraction. So she came up with a 'brilliant' plan to increase business."
'Discounts, maybe? Or live music? What kind of 'brilliance' could this walking disaster come up with?'
Alice slammed a hand onto her hip, puffing her chest proudly. "That's because Alice is a genius! I came up with an amazing idea!"
Kouya stared at her blankly. He didn't even need to say it—his face screamed disbelief.
"I'll tell you anyway," she continued, shaking her twin tails dramatically. "Recently in Tokyo, some cafés started hiring male waiters to wear maid outfits and serve customers. It's super popular! They call it 'Butler Service!' So if you would just—"
Kouya's expression darkened until it was blacker than coal.
'So that's your big plan—to make me wear a maid outfit as some kind of 'butler'?!'
'This world is doomed!'
'Never crossdress!! (╯‵□′）╯︵┻━┻!'