Chapter 8: The Drunken Lich King
"Itadakimasu!"
The sound of chopsticks clinking and the faint aroma of hot soup filled the air as the three of them gathered around the table. Steam rose from the dishes, curling lazily toward the ceiling lamp, casting a soft golden glow over the room.
Kobayashi picked up a piece of tender, sauce-glazed beef with her chopsticks and placed it gently into Kouya's bowl. "Try this one and tell me how it tastes."
Kouya took a bite, chewed thoughtfully, then gave a small approving nod. "Not bad at all. Almost restaurant-level."
Tohru's cooking was impressive—precise, balanced, and full of flavor. For a dragon, mastering a human art like cooking was no small feat, but her keen instincts and fine-tuned control over strength made it easy. In cooking, much like in battle, precision was everything. Know when to stir, when to salt, when to turn the flame up high, when to let it simmer slow—and you'd win every time.
Some chefs talked endlessly about philosophy and emotion in cuisine. Kouya had no patience for that nonsense.
In his mind, food only needed one qualification: if it tasted good, that was enough.
"Staaare—"
He felt a heavy gaze burning into the side of his face.
Tohru puffed her cheeks dramatically and raised her hand. "I want some too!"
"Then use your chopsticks," Kobayashi replied without even looking up, her tone flat and expressionless.
"Aw, so mean! You gave Kouya food but not me. His bowl must taste better! Kobayashi-sama is biased!"
Kouya sighed internally. 'Unbelievable. You're a mighty dragon, a being that once could've reduced mountains to ash—and now you're sulking because you didn't get fed by hand?'
Kobayashi sighed as well, visibly giving in. "Fine, fine. Here." She picked up another piece of beef and placed it in Tohru's bowl.
"Thank you, Kobayashi-sama!" Tohru chirped, her eyes sparkling like gemstones. "Tohru loves you the most!"
"Eat," Kobayashi said curtly.
The table fell into a calm rhythm again—the clinking of bowls, the sizzling of hot food, the faint hum of an old refrigerator in the background. Kouya quietly observed the two of them. Despite her ridiculous behavior, Tohru had adapted surprisingly well to human life, her loyalty to Kobayashi absolute and unshakable. She wasn't serving her out of obligation—it was something else, something far more genuine.
And Kobayashi clearly knew exactly what her maid really was. Their strange, easygoing relationship hinted at something more—a bond, perhaps forged under circumstances he could only guess at.
He didn't ask. It wasn't his business. For now, he was content to just observe.
After a while, Kouya picked up one of the beer cans resting beside him.
"Kouya," Kobayashi said, pausing mid-bite, "you're not of drinking age yet…"
He gave a small smile, cracking open the can with a hiss. "I'm only trying it. How about you join me, Cousin?"
For a brief moment, her expression flickered between moral restraint and temptation. The struggle lasted all of three seconds.
"…Fine. But only one can. That's the limit."
…
Fifteen minutes later.
"Ehehehe~ Kouya, you only drank one? That's boring!" Kobayashi's cheeks were flushed bright red, and her glasses sat crooked on her face. Her usually tired, expressionless eyes had transformed into glazed, mischievous ones that sparkled with chaotic energy. "You've gotta drink more! That's what being an adult's all about!"
Kouya stared at her, completely unimpressed. He was seriously regretting the beer purchase.
The taste wasn't great—weak compared to the divine brews of the Demon Realm—but that wasn't the problem. The real issue was watching the transformation that alcohol caused in his once-serious cousin.
The calm, responsible Kobayashi was gone.
In her place stood… the Drunken Lich King.
She downed her can in one massive gulp, slammed it down like a war hammer, and let out a deep, satisfied sigh. "You know, Kouya… maids are the most adorable creatures in existence."
"…What?"
She leaned across the table, voice lowering into a conspiratorial tone. "Hey, I heard your school used to be an all-girls' school, right? Bet there are lots of cute girls. Don't be shy, if you like one, go for it! Just don't waste your youth… doing it alone."
Kouya froze mid-sip and almost choked. "Cough—Cough! What the hell are you talking about?!"
Kobayashi snickered, waving her hand lazily. "Oh, come on, don't act innocent. Every guy does it. Your cousin knows these things~"
'Knows your ass!' Kouya thought. 'How can you say that with such a straight face?! Have you no shame left?!'
She leaned closer, lowering her voice to a teasing whisper. "Boys your age are basically in heat all year, right? You see a pretty leg, and bam, your instincts kick in, huh?"
Kouya glared. 'Stop lumping me in with perverts, woman!'
"Aw, don't be shy." She grinned lazily, resting her chin on her palm. "You short on cash? Want me to give you some? There are… places you could go, you know."
He stared at her blankly, jaw tightening. 'Did she seriously just suggest her underage cousin visit a brothel?! What the hell is wrong with this woman?!'
The respectable Kobayashi from earlier had vanished, replaced by a depraved monarch of drunken nonsense. If this went on any longer, she might actually say something like, "If you're that desperate, I'll help you myself."
Nope. He wasn't sticking around for that.
Kouya stood, plastering on his most polite smile. "Thank you for the meal, Cousin. I think I'll be going now."
"Ehh, don't gooo~ Stay and drink! You can crash here tonight!" she whined, grabbing weakly at his sleeve. "Your cousin's lonely, you know~"
Her apartment was tiny—barely larger than his own. One bedroom, one futon. Staying the night was out of the question.
He checked the time. 8:15 PM. He'd been here for over an hour.
He exhaled softly. "Really, thank you for dinner. I'll head back."
"Just one more drink!" she slurred, wobbling dangerously close to him. "Hey, Kouya~ don't you think maid outfits are cute? Want to wear one? I've got spares~ hehehe…"
'Oh great. Now she's a crossdressing recruiter,' he thought, horrified.
He smiled tightly, more grimace than anything. "No thanks."
Tohru appeared beside him just in time, bowing with a mix of apology and awkward cheer. "Sorry, Kouya-kun! Kobayashi-sama always gets like this when she drinks too much. Please don't mind her!"
"I figured," he replied, rubbing his forehead. "Take care of her. Maybe get her into a bath—she'll sleep better without the alcohol smell."
At that, Tohru's eyes gleamed. Her tail began to sway in anticipation. "Yes, Kouya-sama! Leave it to me!"
Kouya barely had time to step outside before Tohru's excited voice echoed from the apartment.
"Hehehe~ Finally, I get to bathe with Kobayashi-sama!"
"And then we can sleep together too!"
"Ahhh~ today's the best day ever!"
Kouya stopped mid-step, stared at the ground, and sighed.
'…Did I seriously just hear that?'
He looked up at the night sky, its vast expanse scattered with faint stars, and shook his head. "This world really is insane."
…
The streets were quiet now. The soft hum of the city mixed with the distant chirping of crickets. Faint light spilled from apartment windows, glimmering on the pavement like scattered gems.
Compared to the daytime chaos, the city at night felt almost alive in a different way—gentler, calmer, breathing in slow rhythm. Kouya liked it. It reminded him of the quiet after a storm.
He walked leisurely through the park, hands in his pockets, watching a drunk man snore loudly on a bench, couples whispering under dim lamps, and tired workers trudging home with heavy steps. The simplicity of it all brought an odd peace to his mind.
But then—something shifted.
A subtle ripple in the air brushed against his senses. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled.
Someone was watching him.