The next morning, I woke up with a slight pain in my arm. I wanted to scratch it, but the cast prevented me from doing that. I knew I had to wear it for a couple of days before I could take it off. As I went about doing chores at home, I still felt lost inside because I had lost the girl that I loved so much. I tried to be there for her and make myself available, but it just didn't work out.
Ethan and Emy knew what had happened and tried to comfort me, but I still felt lost in my soul. But I still felt empty inside. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I understood that I needed to stay strong, but for some reason, I still felt weak and didn't know how to address those feelings. So, I decided to take a walk to clear my mind. While walking, I ended up at the same bench where I had sat the day before. When I look at that bench, I have a flashback of seeing Nevaeh kissing that guy. That memory hit me hard. It hit me so hard that it jolted me, a shock of emotions. So I sat down and looked at the natural scenery for a bit. While sitting there, I hear a familiar voice call out to me.
"Hey Tony, how have you been?"
When I turned around, I saw that I was Carlos. He was just walking his dog around the block and stumbled upon me. So I replied
"I'm doing good, Carlos, I just need to clear my mind, you know."
"Ya, I get, but are you ok though?" he said
"I'm doing well," I replied with a stuttery voice.
"You still can't get your mind off of her, huh?" he said
"Ya, it's true, it's just hard for me because I tried to be there for her and make myself available, but it just didn't work, and it's now hard for me to move on."
After I spoke, he shared something with me that I will never forget. He said
Only people with good souls will understand this, and I know that you have a good soul.
When we like someone, we immediately go too hard on ourselves. We're too available, too generous, too caring, too reliable. That's our problem. We always love the way we want to be loved, in the hope that it will be the same for us, but we make ourselves too vulnerable, not realizing that the person you're with might be doing something behind your back. Remember that, ok."
After he told me that, it hit me hard because I knew what he was saying, but that's what I did to her. So I got up and started to walk back home thinking about the quote he to me.