Raya Marin
Darkness swelling in a cosmos, or maybe I was it myself. I don`t know. I can't comprehend anything. I can`t feel any of my emotions. Yet there is one monstrosity that is present in the everlasting darkness. It is fear. I don't like it. I hate it. I miss home. My home. My life. When will all of this end? Why do I have to be the one to endure it all? I want Grey back. I don't want to die. No. I won't die. It's all the fault of that bastard Dream King! He hurt my Grey. I hate him.
"Hate"...
What a strong word for such little creatures. But what could I do other than hate? I am nothing but a mere speck of life. And I had enough. Enough. I had endured more than enough.
A wisp, yes, that is what I am. A tiny wisp with a feeble dream. A force that is reckoned with not blades but with tears. A substance without madness. A thought without feelings. It trapped me here. Taking away my fingers and toes. My arms and legs. There was no ear for me to hear the silence. I had no nose to smell the emptiness around me. There was nothing but me. A voice that feels everything yet can`t do anything. A sensation was all I needed. All this voice wanted. I would have gladly welcomed even the slightest prickle of any motion aside from my own voice echoing over nothing. Was it all a dream to begin with? Was I only a segment of a grand dream? What should even be a dream to be considered one? Have I had a lingering power I could litter the whole world. Would I? Should I? Can I? Strength isn`t what it is. And once we wake up… It's just a dream.
What was I doing before this darkness?
Was I a girl?
Was I a flower? Cloud? Anything that has a song in it would be satisfying. A tidal wave would be my dream. Drowning any who is in my path. What a free choice of life and death. One that could never be graced by song.
More and more, time passed without turning to look at the little wisp it had left behind. The little wisp only wanted a hug from time. Was it too much to ask? The little wisp doesn`t want to be alone. I don`t want to be alone.
What would the brother of the girl think of her if he saw the poor little girl like this? Why does the little wisp have no mother or father or a brother or a friend? The little wisp envies the girl. Little wisp is angry and lustful, envious and greedy. Too prideful to accept, to sloth to change it. Maybe it is just—the little wisp is hungry—ready to eat it all. The wisp wanted glory and power. The voice wanted love and kinship. But what did the girl want? She had no way to halt her momentum. She always kept falling to the ground, face first. Though, at least she still knew how to stand up and proud her ground.
A bubbling of thought washed over me as I heard the voices of people. They were not coming from any directions—it was coming from the inside of the voice. From me. A line of a beautiful apostle arose and fell. I could hear her voice well enough to seek her face. She was telling me of how she was not surprised that I had failed. Of how I was to be who she said I was. She was prideful, giving the girl of freedom the hand of liberation.
My freedom is mine to hold onto. Not a leader`s or a lord`s or prince`s. Shedding the tears for just a mere imitation of her? Am I even Raya anymore? Should I have a gun, I would blast it to the head. I think not. Hovering in an endless, vast darkness, waiting to be awakened once more. This is not over yet. Raya Marin`s story will only end when she chooses to. And I do not yield the path, not now, not ever. I want to live. I want it as much as I want everything. Fear is not real. Rise to lordship. Complete the trial. Be the breaker, turn to the bearer. Arise and shall see. Fear will no longer bind the path. The unknown will no longer be oblivion. To end the conflict and bring freedom to my home. The snacks of the Greatness have long expired. I will not be controlled by that thing.
My purpose stands unchanged.
No more darkness, no more pain. Goodbye tears. So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear, Farewell remorse: all good to me is lost; Evil, be thou my good.
I reached for every essence of memory circling me. And soon enough, those very same moments became treads to wield and use. Purple paths all around the cosmos, aether ascending from the reflectionless black. The curtains in my eyes can no more keep the truth from me. Of a world behind order is chaos. I will no longer be afraid of them. Fear is not real. And thus, a new age under the guidance of love and hope. Cometh the Rising Age.
My eyes were finally ripped off the so long darkness. I was staring ahead, at the sky and its rising Sun. Shallow breaths from my lungs to the mouth, I shifted myself into a sitting position, half of my vision blocked by something I cannot feel.
Sound came after my vision. The voice of wind whiffling through the forest behind. I was sitting, facing the shadow river. The Blacklight River was absorbing any light that had traveled through it. Its blind piranhas should be hungry for blood. The sound of steps bounced until they stopped right next to me. His shoulders were low and head down. Eyes looking into something deeper beyond the dark river. Klein had no intention of talking. His hands limp by his sides, the boy chose to let the silence stretch.
I clenched my teeth and my jaw tightened.
Klein was looking at me from the corner of his eye with a flat, unreadable expression.
His hair swirled in the wind coming across the river. My hand hesitantly reached for the left side of my face, touching it. I could feel something covering it. My fingers wandered it around to untie the thing off my face. Klein watched me intensely, I noticed his hand twitching at my movements yet there was no intentional action behind his thoughts.
I unwrapped the thing that was covering my face. And when I did, my vision returned to normal only partially. The vision of my left eye was blurry and dark, it was painless, yet so bitter. I dropped the bandage and brought my hand to my face. I could feel the roughness on my face as my fingers touched it gently. It was itchy and uncomfortable. I stood up without a word and looked around. Virginia was nowhere to be seen and Klein was still quiet. We were back on the shore of the Queen`s Webbing. The spider corpses were all still here, laying lifeless.
My eyes darted left then to right. There was a small campfire burning just a little away from us.
"Where is she?" I asked. Turning to look at Klein I frowned. "What happened?"
There was a momentary silence before a response came.
"She should come back soon." The silence lingered once more.
Klein crossed his arms and grimaced at my face. His eyes tell a story of regret. My face relaxed just a moment before wrinkling. Tears welled behind my eyes, trying to fight not to roll down from my cheeks.
The memories came back one by one. Of the Raya that was using the Rune of Freedom. Of how I defeated the queen with such ease only to be burned by its acid. Of how the screaming of Klein burning into my ears. Yet all that managed to muster up in my eyes was a nightmare. Darkness pressing from each corner, grasping my heart will all its might. And to a lamb who can`t even open her eyes to the carnage around her, only a tiny smile playing on the poor creature's soft face, like a sacrifice.
I gush out all of my thoughts, puking all that was inside my stomach on the stone ground. Blood was mixed with the vomit. The sour taste filled my mouth in an instant. I clutched my belly as tears continued to stream down. It is disgusting to even think of what happened. My face is burned. What do I even look like anymore? Am I a monster with a disproportionate face? What different am I from these spiders with a face like this?
I ran around chaotically, trying to find any reflection to look at. Then my eyes set on Klein, or more specifically the river behind Klein. I instantly sprinted towards the Blacklight River, crouched down and tried to find my face reflecting on it. My eyes focused at the water, forgetting even the fact that there could be a liquidspat waiting for me beneath its pitch black waters. And there I was, with tears in my eyes. My right side was completely fine, smooth, pretty and gentle. But my left side... ....It was a completely different story to tell. A dark scar crawled across the left side of my face, running down from my forehead to my cheek. The skin looked cruel and uneven. The charred flesh was like a mark, as though fire had kissed it. It looked awful, not as bad as I imagined it would be, but still... There is no word for me to describe the surge of emotions heaving from deep inside my heart.
Klein kneeled next to me, the fordable softness and guilt coming from the boy was effortless to see. He placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Can`t you just die and the scar will vanish?" He asked it with such desperation that I almost shed tears once more.
"No," I simply said, the words of Coop echoing in my tongue. "Every scar you take in this trial stays with you until the day you reach your Apotheosis."
Klein pulled away his hand and looked into the river.
"Damn it!" he hissed. "Its all my fault. If I had just killed that bitc—"
"You don`t need to feel remorse. Everything that occurred to me happened because of my own foolery." My voice was gently yet so detached.
Klein sniffled and glanced at me. I squeezed my fingers into fists and lifted my body to stand straight. This hurts, not physically but the pain is there.
Soft steps came to my ears, Virginia had come back.
Klein stood and looked at the campfire. We both watched as Virginia dropped the two birds in her hands and looked at me in relief.
"Oh, Tarn`s bastard horns, you are awake."
She rushed to me and leaned closer.
"Does it hurt? The acid had made you go unconscious."
"I am fine enough." I answered frustratedly. "Why are we still here? You said that killing the queen would make us complete the trial."
Virginia sighed heavily before responding.
"Maybe there is more for us to do." She pulled away and scowled. "I don`t know how the Battle Islands work all the way." She lowered her head. "I don`t know what to do."
The blue aetheric particles came near me as she completed her sentence.
"Then now what?" Klein asked. "We sure can`t stay here any longer."
"We still have time, there is no need to worr—" Virginia was caught off as I absorbed every aetheric mote surrounding us.
Unleashing the Rune of Freedom, my vision recovered slightly.
"Raya?!" barked Klein.
Virginia took one step behind and raised her arms in front of her, mumbling something. Maybe she was trying to calm me down, I don`t know. I don`t care.
I took my right leg front, left back. Fingers moved actively in the air. I saw the aetheric pathways, though this time they were blue. I reached the one I needed and grasped it violently.
I materialized behind Virginia and before she could turn around I used my chains to hold her in place by the feet. My arms flew to her neck. Grabbing the woman by the throat we fell backwards. She twisted instinctively, trying to break free of my grasp. My right arm wrapped itself around her entire neck locked tightly, my left giving its twin support. Her fingers dug into my arms but I held a rune, which was enchanting my strength, grip and endurance. I am beyond her now.
Her pulse quickened and she tried to muster words to say, but they were muffled, there was no air to keep her alive for longer. Her entire body arched trying to stop me. I did not let her. Using more chains to keep her down, they wrapped themselves across her chest and stomach. Her elbows tried to push her body away from me, desperate to break free. There was no hope to be reached here. No hesitation to salvage.
I leaned closer to her ear and whispered coldly:
"Send the Dream King my regards."
Her entire body did everything to break free of my grasp, her mouth moved desperately, words furred, no one could hear nor understand them. But soon enough her body went limp as every motion of her went silent. Cold wind washed over us as I released the chains and tossed her body off myself. I stood up and looked at her purple face. Her eyes were wide open, empty of life. My head slowly turned to look at Klein who was watching me in awe. He took weary steps toward me and stared down at Virginia`s numb body.
Klein shook his head several times before accepting what had happened and snapped his head at me. He glared intensely.
"Why the fuck would you do this?!" Klein kicked his foot and added in a lower pitched voice: "She helped us. There was no need in doing that."
I shrugged him off.
"She is still alive, just returned to her inception point." I looked past him. "We killed the queen while no other Awakened who had completed their trial did it. She was either wrong or lying."
Klein stayed quiet, holding his face with his hand.
"And killing her will have any help? We just lost our only guide!"
I looked down for a mere moment. Then to the corpse of the Awakened woman. A sting of impudence pressed down on me as I continued to stare.
"I know." Was all I could say.
The power of the Rune of Freedom left my body as the rune dimmed.
Klein clenched his fingers into a fist and huffled
"What are we going to do now? The trial is still not over."
I looked around upset. He was right, the trial was still not over yet. And the worst part was, we still had no idea of what to do.
"Why did you not stop me?" I asked in a barely audible voice.
Klein almost shouted before holding himself and responded much nicer,
"Did you think I was able to understand what shit was going on!" His eyes dropped. "My legs froze in place and it all... Ugh, it all just felt like it happened in a blink of an eye."
Klein looked back at the numb body of Virginia. The same bitterness was in his voice as well, punching the way to win.
"I will stay silent," he said, keeping his distance. "I`ll tell no one about this and you will get us out of here." His eyes darted back to me. "I know she was from an entirely different planet where Grey is the enemy there. But still this was the worst thing you could have possibly done in a situation like this."
I nodded my head hesitantly.
"Maybe we need to just do something unthinkable and gain an insight." I suggested, almost indifferent.
Klein covered his face.
"We are stuck here aren`t we?"
"No!" he barked suddenly. "We still have the fortune to get out of here."
Klein was acting as weird as I was too. It was just a strange sight to see. He was odd. Not even acknowledging Virginia anymore.
Klein reached for the aether around him and closed his eyes. He seemed to be meditating. He inhaled and exhaled and did it six times in a row. After the last breath he opened his eyes, looking much more vigorous than before.
"We will learn to cross the shore of the island. Let's move before—"
The ground split open as it swallowed Klein fully.
"Klein!" I yelled, reaching for him.
But before I could even take a single step, the ground cracked and I found myself falling as well.
"I know this," I thought. "This place is where I was falling before landing on Soulbattle Island."
The fall which seemed eternal would end soon. Something like seven minutes had passed before I landed on the same watery place before. Face flat onto the cold water I lifted up. A deep purple hue was above and a light blue water down which was mirroring my face.
"Here again," I muttered. "Here again."
There was still nothing but vast water.
"What am I supposed to do?"
I walked around, I lay down, I punched. Yet nothing affected the world around me. There was nothing until there was something.
A quake rammed the entire watery terrain. The water tore left and right equally revealing a bottomless hole. Afore I could make any move a hand crawled from the surface. Another hand appeared as it reached to climb up. Then a head appeared, a chest, arms and legs. Soon the water healed itself and what remained was a figure who had calm blue eyes and gentle azura hair—like me. But she was much smaller in height and much younger in age. She looked ten at best.
I leaned closer to examine her. But as soon as I reached a hand, the girl disappeared and reappeared above me, greeting me with an incredible hard kick to the face. I was tossed back, rolling uncontrollably before finally stopping. Pain spilled from my lips. My finger tips brushed the lower lip and when I looked I saw my red blood.
The little girl emerged beside me with a sneer dancing on her lips. I instantly bleached from her. The girl had the ability to make mimics but she didn`t appear to have any quirk of giving voice to words.
"Who are you?!" I bawled.
The girl merely giggled.
"I am you."
My eyes widened. Stepping back continuously I clutched my hair.
"I don`t believe you."
The joy slowly dropped from the little Raya`s face.
"I wouldn`t either."
My younger self stepped closer.
"Come on Raya, where is your wrath? Where is the might of a killer?"
I shook my head over and over.
"I don`t want to fight you."
The girl hissed:
"O, so now you want to play the kind, gentle girl? The one Grey loves?"
She circled me, her hands clasped behind her back.
"Don`t be ridiculous Raya," she mocked. "We both know who you truly are."
She paused to glance at me.
"If you want to complete this trial then you have to kill me."
I wiped the remaining blood from my lips.
"What? Why?"
"Because I said so."
I stared at my hands.
"I don`t want to kill myself."
The little Raya laughed humorlessly.
"Oh yes you would. Grey did and so can you."
She leaned closer. Raya touches the water and brings her hand to her face, marking the left side of her face with it. Then her small hand wandered across my scar. I saw my desperate face from the water.
"You can do it. I believe you." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Don`t you want to save Grey?"
I pushed her hand away.
"Oh, yes you do."
Little Raya weaved her hand in the water and a second later a tiny amount of water took the form of twin chained ribbon-blades. The handle was black with purple runic crystals on it. A chain binded the two blades from the bottom of the handles. And then there were the blades themselves. The ribbons seemed to be made of condensed aether, looking fluid while being solid.
"What are these?"
The young girl tilted her body down.
"These are soon to be yours. All you have to do is strike me down and they will be yours." There was an awful joy in her voice.
"Why are you making me do this?" I spat the words. "I will not choose to kill you."
Raya laughed darkly amused.
"Hmmm, my stubborn future self, I wasn`t giving you a choice, I was ordering you."
"And what if I reject?"
"Then you will simply prove Aspin right. Don`t be so dramatic, I won`t be your first anyway."
I glared at the blades for two minutes before snarling and gripping the blades by the hilt. The two blades were on my hands, my brain trying to figure out how to use them.
Younger me gestured a hand.
"Its not that hard. Just sway it."
I hesitated before giving an ear to her bolster. I raised my arm and then swung the blade on my right hand forward, at my younger self. The chain danced in the air and it looked peaceful for a moment before all the sense of serenity vanished as the noise of metal cutting flesh risen in my ears. The blade penetrated through her chest to her heart. Blood flowed down from the blade and her mouth began to fill with blood.
There was a strange calmness in her eyes as light began to desert them. She was smiling as her body dematerialized into pure aether. The sound of the splash came as the weapon fell to the water.
I let out breath after breath, trying to compose myself. I dropped the weapon from my hands as I reached for the pure blue aether.
"Please don`t go," I begged.
There was no point in pleading. I was alone once more. And just minutes after, the world around me vanished as well. I was floating in nothingness until came a thrilled voice of what sounded like it belonged to a woman,
"Awakened Raya, you have completed your Third Awakening trial! You may now rest. See you on the future trials."