Arriving back, he idled the day away. He read some, but quickly grew bored of that. Ultimately, the saving grace was Aira's return.
She looked at him for a moment before saying, "Would you like me to prepare dinner?"
"...I'm good."
Aira didn't say anything and went to the kitchen, probably to prepare something for herself.
Just seeing Aira was enough for Aion to avert his gaze. Every time he glanced over, it could only last a brief, ephemeral moment. The passage of time between each glance seemed to extend, each one growing more difficult than the last. Perhaps he'd been fine this morning because Luna had been there to distract him, or perhaps it hadn't quite caught up to him.
He wasn't sure. He couldn't be sure.
And he hated that. He hated that uncertainty plaguing his heart. He hated that he hated that uncertainty. And he hated the very idea of feeling uncertain.
He didn't deserve to feel uncertain. No, most certainly not. He had no right, no claim to feel anything like that, to think anything like that. It was certainly the disposition not granted to him, not graced upon him as a source of freedom. As a source of solace. For feeling that—thinking that—experiencing that was unfair of him.
"Is something wrong, sir?" Aira's soft voice dispelled Aion's spiral.
"Huh?"
"You've been glancing at me. Have you perhaps changed your mind?"
"Huh? But how would you…"
"How would I do that?"
Aira looked confused, and Aion realized she meant about dinner.
"Ah, sorry, I thought…"
Aion flinched. Aira didn't pursue the topic, probably because the expression on Aion's face was so conflicted.
It was only natural to treat a stranger with that distance.
"Hk!" Aion felt himself choking up.
He wasn't going to cry, not because he couldn't or he wasn't about to, no, because he didn't have the right.
He had revoked that right, so he shouldn't be so greedy.
A chair slid out, and Aira sat at the seat next to him. "Sir, are you alright?"
"Huh?" Aion stared at her eyes, his expression on the verge of breaking.
"If there's something you wish to talk about, I am willing to listen."
Aion's thoughts couldn't catch up. Was something like this normal? No, more like possible. At the end of the day, he couldn't say.
"I… I…" His words were shambled, his voice struggling to stay steady. "Forgive me…"
That was all he could manage before he shot up from his seat and rushed to his room.
* * *
"Hey, you've been getting close with ****, right?" An old friend asked Aion.
"Huh? I guess," Aion replied.
Currently, he was sitting across from **** and sitting next to ***.
Huh? Aion had a vague feeling like something was wrong. For some reason, the two of them seemed… incomplete…
"Oh, you are?" *** asked. "How so?"
"****'s started playing chess," Aion said, tapping his pointer finger against the table. "We've played a couple games, but none of them have been close."
"I mean, yeah. What did you expect?" **** asked, almost baffled by Aion's attitude.
"I wasn't expecting anything. Honestly, it's kind of annoying."
"Wow~" *** said with a whistle.
"Hm?" Aion noticed he received a notification on the site he played chess on.
Opening it, he saw a message from the person in question.
"Hey, so I've been doing these puzzles, but I'm not doing so well, got any tips?"
Aion typed back a curt reply and *** said, "You know, I think you could get much closer if you pushed it, you know?"
"What are you implying?"
He sighed and looked over at ****, who only shrugged in response.
"Nothing, it's nothing…"
"You know you can say whatever you want to, right?"
"I think you'd rip my head off if I did."
"Was it really going to be that stupid of a comment? For someone so smart, you sure act like a huge dumbass a lot."
He laughed and said, "Maybe I am."
"Anyway, you seem to bring **** up a lot nowadays," Aion lobbed out casually.
"I mean, yeah. It's rare for you to make friends with anyone new. You must be so grateful that we tolerate such a rude and lonely person like you~" **** said smugly.
"It's more like you all just follow me around. Plus you'd be fucked in Chem if we weren't friends."
"...True…"
"So, how's your project going?" *** jumped in. "I've been dying to see the results."
"It's still going. Honestly, I'm not sure if I like how it's turning out right now."
"You could always send the next batch and we could judge, you know?"
"Yeah, you can always count on us and the others in the group. Always remember, we're here!" **** said cheerfully.
A small smile formed on Aion's lips, which caused both his friends to smile even wider.
"Thank you, I'll consider it."
It wasn't a bad proposition; they were—
—Aion awoke the next day with a weight on his heart.
"Fuck me…" Aion muttered under his breath.
He slowly rose from his bed, his standing a little unsteady, and each step seemed to make him feel ill.
His head was pounding, and he caught a glimpse of Crime and Punishment before turning away.
After he exited the room and headed downstairs, Aira was the only one awaiting him.
"Good morning, sir," Aira said with a polite bow.
"Morning…" Aion said quietly and slumped into his chair.
"Is something the matter, sir?" Aira asked.
"I apologize. I don't know what's wrong with me," Aion said honestly. "And about yesterday…"
"Are you tired?" Aira interrupted.
"Tired? Perhaps so…"
"Maybe you should rest for the day then."
"Maybe…"
"..." Aira stared at him for several seconds before returning to her work.
For some reason Aion felt his mind being shrouded in some haze.
Was something wrong with him?
He wasn't sure. For some reason his body seemed to have little sensation in it, and he could barely think.
What the hell is wrong with me? Aion thought, bringing his hand to his throbbing forehead.
Perhaps it was because he was thinking so much on those days from his sophomore year of high school. No, more than likely that was exactly it.
Those days long past were part of the many things he didn't want to think about. The simpler days seemed so much easier—so much better than anything else.
And even beyond that…
"It appears Luna won't be joining you today," Aira said as she served breakfast.
"Yeah…"
"Pardon if this is presumptuous, but it seems like that fact is bothering you."
Aion glanced at Aira, feeling a little nostalgic to see her return to her formalities she'd abandoned in the last loop.
"I apologize, it seems I have—"
"No, you're right. Completely right…"
"You're fond of Luna?"
"I guess I am."
"..."
"I know you aren't her biggest fan," Aion nonchalantly dropped.
"Huh?" Aira stopped what she was doing, widened her eyes, and her mouth fell open.
"It's not that hard to figure out based on the way you treat her and the way you look at her."
Of course, Aion was just making the last part up. There was no way he could read someone like that.
"I… see…" Aira averted her gaze and backed up a little, creating some distance between them.
"She supposedly killed your parents, right?" Aion asked.
"Ah!" Aira brought her right hand over her mouth to stifle any additional noise she made.
"I heard about it in town," Aion lied.
"Is that so…?"
"That's the reason you dislike her so much. But I guess I can't blame you all that much."
He had thought over it somewhat in the last loop, but it was only natural Aira would dislike Luna so much. When it happened, Aira would've been eight or nine at the time, and hearing everyone around her accuse Luna of the murder would naturally lead to Aira accepting it as the truth.
And since such a conviction was developed early in life, it would be difficult to break it without an external factor.
People are products of the environment they grow up in. Absorbing the world around them, and eventually coming to a crossroad of choosing to accept or reject the person that others molded them to be.
One could even argue that because of the heavy influence of environment on the actualization of a person, that people ultimately do not have free will. Rather, it was determined simply by randomly being born in the place they were born at—and then molded into another product of tomorrow.
"...Is it so wrong…?" Aira asked quietly, after several seconds of silence.
"You're asking me?"
Aira only nodded.
"I don't think it's 'wrong' per se. I mean, it's not like I'm the arbiter of right and wrong. And I don't even know the story of how it reached this point."
"Even if you are so fond of her?"
"I only know a Luna who could never do something like that, so of course."
"You barely know her." Aira's voice raised a little, but it seemed she didn't notice; she was probably starting to be caught up in her own emotions.
"Perhaps not, but it doesn't stop the read I have on her."
"Mr. Belial, with all due respect, I believe it's in your best interest if you don't get involved with that girl."
"Is that so?"
"Ever since she was born, Magna has suffered nothing but tragedy."
"Is that so?" Aion repeated the same line, clearly not very interested in the whole thing.
"Don't say I didn't warn you if you get burned."
Aion didn't say anything and simply rose from his seat, leaving his breakfast behind.
Aira didn't stop him, so Aion ended up leaving without eating. Although, it wasn't like he felt all that hungry.
Aion simply headed for Luna's house. In the previous loops, he hadn't bothered looking for her. But now, knowing her place of residence, he figured it wouldn't be so bad to do so now.
Making his way to the outskirts of town, he found her small house, some unidentifiable noise was happening inside, and knocked on the door.
The noise ceased and silence hung in the air for a few seconds. Soon, the door was opened, and a man stood out the doorway; his expression was half surprised, half annoyed.
He had a bit of moisture on his forehead, like he'd been doing something intensive. His blue eyes seemed to glance a few directions, taking in the surroundings before settling on Aion.
"...Who are you…?" The man asked.
"Aion Belial, I'm a friend of Luna," Aion greeted, his tone lacking any sort of emotion.
"A… friend?" The man raised an eyebrow. Then he sighed, bringing his right hand that was slightly red on his palm and knuckles, and ruffled his brown hair. "You can come in, I'm sure Luna'll be really happy to see a friend…"
He gestured for Aion to enter, and he did.
Inside, it seemed quite unkempt. Spots of dust were about; random objects like shoes, writing utensils, and other winter clothing were strewn about. All piling and laying aside one another, creating a cluttered space in the entrance.
"We were just having breakfast, you see. I'll introduce you to my wife. Oh, right, I guess I should tell you I'm Luna's, well, you know…" The man averted his gaze and rubbed his hands a little.
"You're her father, huh?" Aion said, a little surprised. The man didn't say anything, giving neither confirmation nor denial.
There didn't seem to be anything all that alike to Luna at a first glance.
But, disregarding the colors of the features Luna had, Aion could see some overlap.
The man led Aion down a corridor into a kitchen-plus-dining-room combination that was quite similar to the one in his lodging. Of course, there was a table. A table where a woman sat at one end of it.
She too had brown hair. Her hair was long, probably going beyond her waist, and her bangs covered her eyes, preventing Aion from seeing the color. She was wearing a simple casual dress, busily poking her egg with a fork, absent-mindedly.
At another edge of the table, Luna sat, staring right at Aion with an unreadable emotion on her face.
"Come on, take a seat." The man pulled a chair out that was across from Luna, gesturing for him to sit.
Strangely enough, there were additional chairs at the table, making it one by three dimensions. Based on the plates set out on the table, the man sat directly across from the woman, leaving a gap between them all.
Aion took a seat, so now he and Luna were sitting, mirroring each other.
"So, Aion, have you eaten?" The man asked with a pleasant smile.
"Uh, no, but you don't have to accommodate me."
"Oh please, it's my pleasure. Hey, Mary, could you go prepare him a dish?"
Mary didn't seem to react, only mumbling, "A friend? That's so nice…"
The man continued smiling, staring at Mary for a few seconds before laughing and saying, "I got it, I got it."
Mary didn't respond, and the man started working in the kitchen.
Luna's gaze fell and she started poking her food much like Mary.
"So, Mary, here's my beautiful wife. I hope that you two can get along quite nicely." The man started speaking from behind the counter. "We've been together, how long has it been now? Hey, Mary, when did we get married?"
"Marriage?" Mary echoed. "Ah, yes… Joseph, I love you so dearly…"
"Haha," Joseph laughed and said, "Mary, that doesn't tell him anything. How about you, Luna?"
Luna stopped what she was doing and slowly turned toward Joseph, looking for a second before saying, "I believe it would be twenty-six years by now."
"Yes! That's right, twenty-six years I've been with Mary. And then twenty years with Luna here."
"It took you a while to have a child, huh?" Aion asked.
"Yeah, Mary and I were moving at our own pace. Our parents had been bugging us for a while, but you know, if we hadn't waited, Luna here would've never been born."
"I suppose that's probably the case, yeah."
"See? You get it," Joseph said as he came out of the kitchen with a plate and glass of water, setting it down for Aion. "Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't ask what you wanted to drink. I hope this is fine. Aion?"
Aion had stiffened at the words "I'm sorry," his body tensed, and his eyes bugged out a bit.
"Ahaha…" Aion laughed awkwardly, pushing it down. "I'm fine. I usually prefer water."
Aion was pale, but he managed to say something.
Joseph took his seat at the other end of the table and stared at Aion for a while.
"Water is quite refreshing, isn't it?" Mary asked.
"Yeah, it is."
"I do like water quite a bit…" Mary said, continuing to stare nowhere.
Aion was a little creeped out.
"Pardon Mary, she's… usually quite out of it in the morning."
"The morning, huh?" Luna whispered under her breath.
"Hm? Luna dear, did you say something?"
"Ah, nothing…" Luna stabbed her fork into some food and quickly ate it.
"I see, that's fine. So, Aion, what brings you here? Luna?"
"Yes, she didn't show up this morning, so I thought that maybe she was busy today. I was just trying to confirm, you know?"
Joseph nodded while chewing. He swallowed and said, "Yes, quite. So, Aion, you're the one from outside of town, right? Luna's mentioned you a bit."
Luna shot a glance at her father before quickly looking away and back down at her food. Her body was a little stiff.
"Yeah, I'm from outside of town."
"Really? That's wonderful!" Joseph said happily. "I've never really been outside myself. Honestly, I don't think I want to. I mean, everything we need is right here in Magna, right?"
He asked the question to Luna and Mary.
"Yeah…" Luna agreed quietly.
"Magna… oh… yes… Magna…" Mary mumbled.
Aion glanced around a bit as Joseph continued going on about mundane and banal topics.
The table was somewhat beat up, like it'd been used for a while. Some of the chairs also had that same worn-with-age look to them. Although some of the legs of the chairs seemed to be much more damaged than others. Several marks were across those legs, the painted wood peeled away, leaving only the pale wood beneath.
"Hm?" Aion noticed something a little odd. There was a puddle that was mostly covered with a heap of towels. The liquid was clear, so it was probably water.
Joseph, noticing Aion was looking at the sight, laughed and said, "Oh, that? Yeah, there was a spill earlier. Mary can be really clumsy, you know? We haven't cleaned it up yet because breakfast would get cold. We wouldn't want that, now would we?"
"I guess I can get that," Aion said.
Although it wasn't like it was that hard to clean up some water.
"Yes, you seem like a really smart guy, you know? What made you become friends with our dear little Luna?"
Luna stopped eating, as if the topic interested her.
"...Oh, well, she remi—" Aion began but stopped himself. He must be tired. He chose to instead say, "She's really helpful. She basically got me my way back home."
"That's great. Sounds like you were quite kind to this stranger, Luna."
"...Yeah…" Luna agreed.
"So, you'll be heading back home?"
"Yeah, after the Festival," Aion replied.
Joseph's smile slackened a bit, and then his expression turned to surprise, and he asked, "You're staying for the Festival? Could you not leave town any sooner?"
"No, Alexander said so."
Joseph stared for a couple more seconds before nodding and continuing, "Anyway, unfortunately Luna has to help around the house today. I know I kind of led you around and all that with this whole thing, but I hope you can understand, you know?"
"...Right, I get it…"
Joseph beamed and said, "That's great! Now, what else is there to talk about?"
And with that, breakfast continued.
* * *
Aion walked along the snowy path, slowly and steadily. The cold air around him was chilling, and his breath came out in foggy puffs that floated beyond into the sky.
Just like yesterday, numerous people were setting up for the Festival. Right now, the atmosphere hadn't quite reached its peak, but it was still early. Soon enough things would liven up even more. That friendly communal air would saturate the surroundings, drowning those who wouldn't participate.
Those like Aion.
Those like Luna.
Eventually he reached a familiar scene, a place he's been several times. But it was a place where something memorable always occurred on the third day. Esme and Juno were in their little commotion.
The crunching snow had alerted Juno, so she had stopped her harassing of Esme, and she turned toward Aion, asking, "Huh? Who are you?"
"..." Aion was about to speak but chose not to, simply walking toward her.
"Hello? I'm talking to you. Don't you know who I am?"
"Juno Celestia…" Aion mumbled.
"See? You do know who I am, so who are you? Can't you tell we're busy here?"
"Busy?" Aion asked, glancing at Esme, who looked like she'd been smacked.
"Yeah, so get out."
"..."
"Seriously? Whatever, Esme, let's leave this weird guy."
Juno grabbed Esme's hand forcefully and yanked her so she would follow.
Aion grabbed Juno's other hand.
"Huh? You dare touch—ack! What's that for!?" Juno cried out.
Aion had tightened his grip around her hand hard, causing her pain.
"Ah, my bad…" Aion said, a little surprised. "I just meant to stop you, is all."
"Huh?"
"Esme clearly wants nothing to do with you, so could you just leave and fuck off?"
"Huh? Did you just tell me what to do!?"
"Yeah, I did. Now leave," Aion said, yanking Juno away from Esme and letting go of her.
The sudden force caused Juno to yelp in surprise and fall in the snow.
"You! Do you have any idea—"
"That's enough, Juno." A new voice entered the fray. It was Sam.
He walked over and held out his hand for Juno to take.
Juno slapped it away and got up on her own. "Fine, I'll leave, but don't think I'll forget this, peasant."
Juno glared and soon retreated.
"Wow~" Sam whistled and soon turned his attention to Aion. "You know, you really didn't have to be so forceful with her."
"Sure, I guess. But it was much easier this way."
"Hm…" Sam didn't seem all that pleased by the reply, but he moved along and said, "Still, you did help Esme so it isn't all bad."
"Yeah… anyway, I have to go. See you around, Sam, I guess."
"Huh?" Sam let out a surprised noise.
Before he recovered and asked Aion what he wanted, Aion was already gone.