The Futaba Mansion was a monument to bourgeois comfort. The central air conditioning hummed at a frequency Kaito would classify as "technological lullaby."
The room distribution was a quick exercise in logistical authoritarianism on Kaito's part.
"Mai and Fia," he pointed to Guest Room Number 1 (suite with two beds). "You stay there. Fia, if you use your powers to summon midnight snacks and dirty the silk sheets, I'm exorcising you."
"Rio and Reo," he pointed to Rio's master bedroom. "You have a king-size bed and a lot of problems to solve. Sleep together. Osmosis solves 50% of identity conflicts."
"And I," Kaito walked to Guest Room Number 2, opened the door, and saw a soft, solitary bed waiting for him, "am sleeping here. Alone. In silence. Without anyone poking their knee into my back."
He entered, closed the door, and locked it. Just in case.
The shower in the suite's high-pressure shower was almost a religious experience. Kaito put on a t-shirt borrowed from Futaba's father (which was a bit big, but clean) and threw himself onto the bed. The mattress embraced his battered spine.
"Peace," he whispered, closing his eyes. "Finally."
Some time later, when everyone had gone to their rooms.
There was a subtle sound coming from the doorknob being turned. The lock clicked.
Kaito opened his eyes. He had locked the door. He was sure of it.
The door opened.
Reo (the Other Futaba) entered. She held an unfolded paperclip in her hand.
"You locked the door," she said, closing it behind her. "That is rude in someone else's house."
Kaito sat up in bed, pulling the duvet up to his neck.
"Did you pick the lock with a paperclip?" he asked, incredulous. "Where did you learn that? Science club or the internet?"
"Basic physics and YouTube tutorials," she replied, walking to the armchair in the corner of the room and sitting down. She was wearing pajamas, and had let her hair down. Her makeup was removed, leaving her looking younger and more vulnerable.
"What do you want?" Kaito asked. "It is one in the morning. Customer service hours for existential crises are closed."
"I couldn't sleep," she said, hugging her knees. "The other one... Rio... she fell asleep fast. She was exhausted. But I... I kept staring at the ceiling."
She looked at Kaito.
"If you try anything," she said suddenly, narrowing her eyes, "I'll scream. And I'll tell Mai-san. And she will destroy you socially and physically."
Kaito let out a long, suffering groan, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.
"Why..." he murmured to the ceiling, "...why does every woman in this universe assume my default intention is harassment? I am lying down, covered to my neck, complaining of back pain. Do I look like a sexual threat or a geriatric patient?"
"You are a man. And I am in your room. It is standard defense protocol," Reo retorted, but her voice lacked conviction.
"Mai doesn't own me," Kaito said. "And you are not my type. My type is 'quiet' and 'absent'."
Reo laughed softly. It was a weak sound.
"I know," she said. "But... it's hard to turn off the fear."
The room fell silent for a moment. The hum of the air conditioner filled the space.
"Before high school..." Reo began, looking at the dark window. "I didn't mind being alone. In fact, it was my natural state. My parents traveled a lot. At school, I had no friends. I went home, did my experiments, read. The silence... wasn't bad. It was just silence."
Kaito listened. He knew that silence. It was the silence he actively sought.
"But then..." she continued, voice trembling. "I started high school. And Azusagawa talked to me. And Kunimi gave me that bun. And suddenly... the lab got noisy. Laughter. Stupid conversations. Bad coffee made on a Bunsen burner."
She gripped the fabric of her pajamas over her knees.
"And when I came home... the silence wasn't 'just silence' anymore. It was loneliness. It was heavy. I realized what I didn't have. And I started getting scared. Scared that they would leave. Scared that they would realize I'm boring and weird and leave me behind."
She looked at Kaito, eyes moist.
"It's their fault, you know? Sakuta's and Kunimi's. They ruined me. They taught me to like having company, and now I'm terrified of losing it."
Kaito sighed. He sat up properly in bed, leaning against the headboard.
"Agreed," he said. "The fault is entirely theirs. They are vectors of social contagion. They infected you with the need for human interaction, which resulted in this quantum mess that I, an innocent third party, have to clean up."
He crossed his arms.
"I should send an invoice to Sakuta. 'Trauma Cleanup and Duplicate Babysitting Services'."
Reo smiled, but the smile soon disappeared. She looked at Kaito intensely.
"It's your fault too, Tanaka."
Kaito blinked. "Mine? I am the victim here. I was dragged into this."
"It is your fault," she insisted. "Because now... you are also an important friend. You saw me. Both versions of me. You saw the ugly part, the vain part, the pathetic part... and you didn't run away. You just complained and bought bread."
She swallowed hard.
"And that scares me more. Because you have Mai-san. She is beautiful, famous, amazing. And you... you are you. You solve things. I am afraid that when I reintegrate... when I go back to being just a boring Futaba with glasses... you will abandon me. Because you already have better people by your side."
Her insecurity was palpable. She wasn't afraid of disappearing physically. She was afraid of disappearing from his life.
Kaito stared at her. Her logic was emotional, flawed, and annoyingly human.
"Stop talking nonsense," Kaito said, his voice cutting through the drama like a cold knife.
Reo shrank back.
"First," Kaito raised a finger. "Mai Sakurajima is not my girlfriend. She is an anomaly I stabilized who now refuses to leave my life because she finds it amusing to watch me suffer. Our relationship is based on mutual sarcasm and logistical convenience."
He raised a second finger.
"Second. I don't 'have' anyone. People are not possessions. And I certainly don't collect friends based on quality ranking."
He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. This required effort. It required sincerity.
"Look, Futaba... Reo... whatever. I am lazy. I avoid problems. But I have a rule: I do not leave a job half done."
He looked her in the eyes.
"You are a problem. A big, noisy problem split in two. But you are my problem now. And I do not abandon my problems until they are solved and functioning efficiently."
"So I am... a maintenance project?" she asked, a faint smile appearing.
"You are a troublesome friend," Kaito corrected. "And unfortunately, my friendship policy is lifetime, because making new friends is too much work. So you are stuck with me. Whether you are a yukata influencer or a dirty-lab-coat scientist."
He pointed to the door.
"Now get out of my room. I said sentimental things and it gave me hives. I need to sleep to replenish my cynicism levels."
Reo stood up. She looked lighter. The paralyzing fear of being left behind had diminished, replaced by the strange, grumpy security Kaito offered.
She walked to the door but stopped before leaving.
"Tanaka?"
"What?"
"Thank you. For... being you."
"Close the door. And lock it from the outside, if possible. I don't trust Fia."
Reo laughed and left, closing the door softly.
Kaito was alone in the dark again.
"Important friend..." he muttered, sinking into the expensive pillow. "This is going to cost me dearly in free time."
But as he fell asleep, he didn't feel the usual weight of annoyance. He felt only the quiet satisfaction of a job well on its way. Reintegration was ready. All that was missing was the execution.
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