The warm, soft body in his arms trembled slightly, and the suppressed sobbing was like the whimper of a wounded small animal, knocking against Michiya Gōshin's heart beat by beat.
He said nothing, only hugging her tighter yet incomparably gently. One hand softly patted her back, while the other stroked her long hair, his movements extremely tender.
Michiya Gōshin could feel the fabric of the clothes on his chest being soaked by her tears. That warm dampness seemed to carry a scorching temperature, making his chest feel stifled.
aided by the alcohol, Sakurajima Mai had shed her tight defenses and finally released her emotions.
This was also a good thing.
"It's all... your fault..."
Sakurajima Mai's words carried an accusation heavy with a nasal tone. Rather than blame, it was more like a helpless act of coquetry and venting.
"Mn, yes. All of it, it's all my fault."
He responded in a low voice, his tone carrying unconcealed guilt and pity, without the slightest intention of defending himself. At this moment, any verbal explanation would be pale and powerless; only by going along with her thoughts could he slightly soothe her collapsed emotions.
It went on like this for several minutes before the sobbing in his arms gradually quieted down, turning into faint whimpers.
Sakurajima Mai seemed to have exhausted her strength, leaning limply in his embrace. She no longer struggled, though her shoulders still shrugged gently occasionally due to the aftershocks of her emotions. Michiya Gōshin could feel her breathing gradually stabilizing.
Thus, he loosened his embrace slightly and looked down at her.
The other party also happened to lift her teary-eyed, hazy face at this moment. The lights from the streetlamps and the stall mixed together, reflecting on her face. Those usually clear eyes were now red and swollen, and her long eyelashes were wet with tears, sticking together like two pitiful little fans.
Her fair cheeks still bore undried tear stains, and the tip of her nose was red.
This tear-stained appearance, compared to her usual image as a flawless, super-popular female artist, actually held a different kind of fragile, authentic beauty.
Michiya Gōshin took out the soft cotton handkerchief he carried with him from his pocket. With gentle movements, he wiped away the tear stains on her face bit by bit. His fingertips occasionally and inadvertently touched her delicate, slightly hot skin, feeling that scorching temperature.
Sakurajima Mai did not resist in the slightest, allowing him to patiently wipe away the tears on her face for her.
The expression on Michiya Gōshin's face was very focused. His actions were like a silent comfort. After the emotional loss of control just now, Sakurajima Mai discovered that after this bout of reckless crying, it was as if some of the pent-up depression and grievances accumulated in her heart for a long time had been washed away.
Although the problem still existed and the stinging pain in her heart had not completely vanished, the suffocating sense of oppression originally in her heart had strangely lightened quite a bit.
"I apologize. I lost my composure just now, Michiya-kun."
She turned her head slightly away. Her voice was still somewhat hoarse, carrying the softness that follows crying, as she spoke in a low, embarrassed voice.
"It's nothing. Being able to vent the emotions in your heart like this is actually a good thing. Keeping it tight all the time isn't good."
Michiya Gōshin put away the handkerchief and looked at her still-red eye rims, his tone serious. "Moreover, it was indeed because of me that Mai-san's emotional issues were triggered."
Sakurajima Mai touched her small face, then shook her head, not continuing this topic.
She picked up the beer that was half-left on the table, shook it gently, and then tilted her head back to take a small sip.
The ice-cold liquor slid down her throat, carrying a trace of bitterness, but it also made her realize the helplessness of reality more soberly. The girl picked up a skewer of barbecue that had already gone somewhat cold and ate it silently.
The taste was still good, but her state of mind was already different.
Michiya Gōshin also picked up his chopsticks again and picked up a piece of roasted eggplant with garlic. A subtle silence fell between the two, but it was no longer that conversation filled with estrangement from before. Instead, it was a kind of... calm similar to the aftermath of a storm, carrying a bit of exhaustion and dazedness.
The clamor of the night market stalls surged into their ears again. The laughing and shouting from the finger-guessing games at the next table, the sizzling sound of the boss stir-frying—it seemed to pull them back into the fireworks of the human world.
"The taste of these stir-fried clams isn't bad. Would Mai-san like to try them?"
Michiya Gōshin pushed that plate of aromatic stir-fried clams toward Mai, attempting to make both of them forget the memory of that emotional outburst just now.
Sitting beside him, Sakurajima Mai nodded. She used her chopsticks to pick one up and carefully sucked out the meat inside. The delicious juice exploded in her mouth, carrying the complex fragrance of garlic and chili peppers.
"It is indeed quite good."
She gave a soft "Mn" as a response.
The two of them just silently finished the remaining food on the table bit by bit.
Occasionally, Michiya Gōshin would find some light topics, such as commenting on which snack had a unique taste, or talking about new ideas for tomorrow's promotional event. Sakurajima Mai mostly just listened, occasionally responding briefly with a sentence or two, but the expression on her face was obviously much more relaxed than before.
When settling the bill, the boss looked at this man and woman with super high visual appeal but a somewhat strange atmosphere. He still didn't dare to ask much and just deftly calculated the money.
Michiya Gōshin paid with his mobile phone, and the boss enthusiastically gave them two bottles of mineral water.
"Thank you, boss. The taste was very good."
Michiya Gōshin thanked him in Chinese, his tone very natural.
"As long as you like it, as long as you like it! Come again next time!"
The boss smiled honestly, watching them leave, but he was still muttering in his heart: These two look like stars, but just now I seemed to glimpse that the girl was crying.
Sigh, the emotional problems of young people nowadays are really complex.
***
Walking out of the lively night market alley and returning to the relatively quiet Bund area, the humid river breeze immediately brushed against their faces, blowing away the slight smell of oil smoke that tainted them.
Sakurajima Mai took a deep breath, feeling that the stifled sensation in her chest seemed to be blown away a bit more.
They did not return to the hotel immediately but tacitly continued to stroll slowly along the riverside walkway. The night had grown deeper, but the lights of Pudong on the opposite bank were still dazzling and eye-catching, seemingly never tired.
The cruise ships on the river surface had become sparse, but there were still quite a few tourists on the bank.
Many couples cuddled together, taking photos against the river view, or simply hugging quietly, enjoying this romantic night.
There were also families with children. Parents held their children's hands, pointing at the lights on the opposite bank and explaining patiently, the children emitting innocent and brilliant laughter. There were also groups of young friends, playing and laughing, full of youthful vitality.
Looking at these ordinary yet warm scenes, Sakurajima Mai's eyes could not help but become somewhat entranced and... held a trace of imperceptible envy.
Her childhood was out of place with everything before her eyes.
Her parents divorced when she was very young. Her father quickly established a new family outside and had new children. He almost completely ignored her, the daughter born of his ex-wife.
As for her, having debuted as a child star, her life trajectory had been strictly planned by her mother since she was little.
Sakurajima Mai's time was cut into countless fragments—school lessons, acting training, dance, vocal music, body shaping exercises, as well as the recording of one commercial, TV series, and variety show after another.
Playing? Taking a walk with parents?
Running and playing in the streets and alleys like ordinary children?
These were all luxurious and distant words to her. Sakurajima Mai's childhood was spent in studios, rehearsal rooms, and the nanny vans rushing between venues.
She had to maintain a perfect image at all times—obedient, sensible, excellent. She could not make the slightest mistake because she carried her mother's expectations and also had to pursue her own dreams.
It was precisely because of this that, deep in her heart, she had a very pure longing for stable, single-minded, and unreserved affection.
Sakurajima Mai longed for a lover who belonged entirely to her, who could give her all his attention and love; a partner who could build a warm, normal family that belonged only to the two of them.
So, when Michiya Gōshin originally confessed his "absurd" proposal to her, her first reaction was shock, anger, and a feeling of deep betrayal.
This completely violated the understanding and expectation of love she had always held.
However, with the passage of time, from the initial shock and resistance to slowly later on, she seemed to have gotten somewhat used to the existence of this "incomparably absurd" idea.
Michiya Gōshin did not force her to make a choice with sweet words as she had predicted, nor did he distance himself or give up after she clearly expressed that she could not accept it.
He continued to appear when she needed him just like before, giving her support and help. In work, he was the most tacit partner; in private, he still maintained that gentleness and considerateness that made her heart flutter. It was just that within that gentleness, there was an added cautious waiting.
On the other hand, Sakurajima Mai naturally knew that Michiya Gōshin had established his own company, [Star Engine]. Just like the decision she made back then, the independent operation of [Sakura no Umi Agency] seemed to form a subtle parallel with Michiya Gōshin's choice.
Once the promotion for Alice in Borderland ended, they would immediately enter the group to film that pure love movie she had always looked forward to, Strobe Edge.
If... if she really cast aside the premise of that "absurd desire for the three to be together," the two of them, whether in career or emotion, seemed capable of becoming the most perfect partners, joining hands to walk toward a higher peak.
In a trance, feeling the evening breeze of the Bund carrying water vapor, many images flashed through Sakurajima Mai's mind.
From the rawness of their first collaboration to the tacit cooperation time and again later, then to the increasing entanglements and binding between the two, as well as the steady and reassuring figure of the other party standing beside her at this moment.
Yes, Michiya Gōshin was a very responsible man.
Sakurajima Mai had never doubted this point. Since the other party had already reached the stage of cohabitation with Kurokawa Akane, given his character, he must have already made some degree of commitment and assumption of responsibility.
He could not, and absolutely would not, easily abandon Kurokawa Akane for her sake.
This would neither align with his conduct nor conform to the "sense of responsibility" that Michiya Gōshin had always adhered to behind that "greed."
Then, what lay before her seemed to be only two paths.
Either completely cut off the threads of love, henceforth only being partners in career, watching him be intimate with someone else while she tasted the bitterness of wanting but not getting alone. Or... lay down the pride and persistence she had always held and accept that absurd proposal of "sharing a lover" that she had once sniffed at.
Proud as Sakurajima Mai was, how could she easily agree to share her lover with another woman?
This was simply like a fantasy tale. Just thinking of that scene made Sakurajima Mai feel a burst of discomfort.
But...
The small voice at the bottom of her heart kept reminding her that she couldn't let go of Michiya Gōshin.
Every time she saw him, every time she felt his gentleness and talent, that uncontrolled heart-fluttering and attraction were silently dissolving her determination.
This violent tearing between reason and emotion made her feel incomparable pain and annoyance.
Yes, annoyance!
Angry at his "greed," and even more angry at her own lack of backbone!
Knowing clearly this was a quagmire, yet she still couldn't help but want to get close. Moreover, she had cried so wretchedly and lost her composure in front of him just now, exposing her most fragile and unbearable side to him...
Thinking of this, Sakurajima Mai's cheeks grew slightly hot, and an inexplicable shame and annoyance welled up in her heart.
She suddenly quickened her pace, deliberately walking in front of Michiya Gōshin, leaving him only a graceful yet slightly cold back view.
And Michiya Gōshin naturally didn't know the battle between heaven and man in Sakurajima Mai's mind. He was currently immersed in his own thoughts.
The night view of the Bund was certainly beautiful, but what made his heart surge more was the familiar yet strange emotion carried by this land itself.
This emotion surged deep in his heart, bringing a complex nostalgia and lament that was difficult to express to outsiders.
The lights of this land, the breath of this land, all seemed to be silently calling out to some resonance deep in his soul.
"What a beautiful world..."
When he snapped back to reality, Michiya Gōshin discovered that Sakurajima Mai beside him had unknowingly already walked several meters ahead.
Her trench coat hem and long hair fluttering slightly in the night breeze, against the background of the brilliant night view, outlined a slightly lonely yet stubborn silhouette.
Michiya Gōshin smiled helplessly and quickened his steps to catch up.
A girl's temper came quickly and went quickly, especially for someone inwardly proud and sensitive like Sakurajima Mai. After that emotional venting just now, having some small temper tantrums was normal.
He just walked to her side, and before he had time to speak, he heard the girl suddenly speak up. Her voice was very calm.
"If... after a long time has passed, I still don't agree to your absurd proposal, what will you do, Yu-kun?"
Sakurajima Mai once again called out the familiar nickname, not using the "Michiya-kun" or "Michiya-san" she deliberately said in front of everyone.
And the question spoken was very direct, even somewhat sharp, pointing straight at the core contradiction of their relationship.
Michiya Gōshin did not stop his steps. His gaze still looked at the shimmering river surface ahead, but a faint smile appeared on his face.
He did not answer immediately. Instead, he took a deep breath and, with a more special tone, clearly called out her name.
"Mai."
This was the first time Michiya Gōshin addressed her by her given name.
These two words spat from his mouth carried a unique intimacy, as if carrying a weak electric current, instantly striking Sakurajima Mai's eardrums.
Her heart fiercely skipped a beat, then began to beat faster uncontrollably. A flush also quietly climbed up her cheeks; fortunately, there was the night color as cover.
Then, Sakurajima Mai heard him speak in a tone that was close to acting shamelessly, yet revealed incomparable seriousness and persistence.
"Anyway, I've already latched onto you. If you don't agree, I'll just keep pestering you."
This sentence clearly conveyed a message: he would not give up. No matter how many times she refused, no matter how long he had to wait, he would stubbornly exist in her life in his own way.
Thinking of this, Sakurajima Mai's heart beat even faster—a mix of annoyance, helplessness, and a trace of secret sweetness.
She quickened her pace, almost jogging forward a few more steps, as if wanting to flee from the heart palpitations brought by his seemingly rogue yet lethally potent words.
Michiya Gōshin still followed unhurriedly behind her, maintaining a distance of one step.
After a while, Sakurajima Mai suddenly stopped again and turned around. The night breeze blew up her long hair. She looked at Michiya Gōshin who had caught up. Those eyes, which had just cried and still carried a slight redness, were astonishingly bright under the reflection of the night and lights.
"Then if I keep walking, will you keep following me?"
She asked, her tone carrying a trace of childish spite and probing that she herself hadn't even noticed.
Michiya Gōshin walked in front of her, stopped, and looked straight at her with his deep eyes. Without any hesitation, he answered decisively.
"Of course."
Two simple words, yet heavy as a thousand jun.
The night was gentle, the river breeze brushed their faces, and the lights on the opposite bank interwove into a gorgeous background behind them.
The two stood on the riverside walkway where people came and went, gazing at each other.
Sakurajima Mai looked at Michiya Gōshin's black eyes that seemed capable of swallowing all light. There was no mockery inside, no perfunctoriness, only a patch of quiet seriousness and persistence.
That invisible layer of hard ice that lay between the two because of the crying, the dispute, and the obstacles of reality earlier, seemed to have quietly melted a lot in this brief conversation and the exchange of determined gazes.
Those complex emotions, at this moment, seemed to have been blown away a little by the night breeze of the Bund, leaving only the clear reflection in each other's eyes and a silent tacit understanding quietly growing.
"Hmph, then you just follow along."
Sakurajima Mai's lip corners, however, imperceptibly curved upward in an extremely small arc.
She didn't say anything more, only turning around and continuing to stroll along the riverside, but her footsteps had obviously slowed down a lot.
Michiya Gōshin watched her back, which had become somewhat lighter, and a trace of a faint smile also swept across the bottom of his eyes.
He strode forward, continuing to maintain the distance of walking side by side with her.
The two blended into the charming night scenery of the Shanghai Bund together.
The road ahead was still very long, and the difficulties of reality still existed, but at least at this moment, under this foreign starry sky, two hearts that were once estranged seemed to have moved a little closer again.
________________________________________
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