Zhongli had indeed taken on female forms before.
Back then, he hadn't thought much of it.
Even when the topic came up in conversation, it didn't seem like a big deal.
After all, what was a little disguise for a god on a quiet stroll among mortals?
And for a deity, having a feminine incarnation wasn't the least bit strange.
But the moment someone in the group said they wanted to see that form—
The conversation spun out of control like a wild stallion that had broken free of its reins.
"...A grave miscalculation."
Zhongli was filled with regret.
The group chat's members came from all over Teyvat—most of them barely knew each other, and many weren't even from Liyue.
In real life, they respected the ancient Lord of Geo.
But online?
Well... anyone who's been online knows how that goes.
Zhongli sighed deeply.
Thankfully, the video kept rolling, shifting to the next part of the story and saving him—at least for now.
[Xingqiu]:I never expected Granny Ping to be an Adeptus! Living quietly among mortals—what a hidden master! (Tartaglia·shocked)
[Chongyun]:I'm still processing it! I mean, I knew she was kind, but a real Adeptus?!
[Yaoyao]:There are so many who search for the Adepti, yet some of them live right beside us! (Yaoyao·drooling)
[Madame Ping]:Haha, looks like this old lady's been exposed at last. (Qiqi·lying down)
[Yanfei]:Then Granny Ping should just start fresh with a new identity! (Hu Tao·mischievous grin)
[Zhongli]:By all reasonable logic, Miss Yanfei's suggestion is not without merit.
[Lumine]:A Serenitea Pot! If we had one of those, Paimon and I wouldn't have to camp out in the wild all the time! (jealous)
[Paimon]:Yeah! I thought that the teapot was just a decoration—who knew the inside was so big!
[Tartaglia]:It's way more practical than a Vision! @[Madame Ping] would you sell one? I'll buy it right now!
[Madame Ping]:Regrettably, I only have one.
[Tartaglia]:Ah, what a pity... (Amber·help me)
[Keqing]:So Zhongli actually knew Granny Ping was an Adeptus... and she called him "old friend." That means Zhongli himself must be... (Keqing·thinking hard)
[Venti]:I know what you're thinking—you suspect Zhongli isn't who he says he is, right? (smirk)
[Furina]:Makes sense. After all, if he's the one who assassinated the Geo Archon, how could his identity be simple? He's probably an Adeptus who was scolded by the Archon and decided to plot revenge! (Hu Tao·grinning)
[Madame Ping]:Reasonable deduction!
[Ningguang]:Seems Zhongli deserves some close observation.
[Yelan]:Leave that to me. (Yelan·cold smile)
[Zhongli]:If I have to say the words "gross miscarriage of justice" one more time, I will lose my composure.
Even the gentle Cloud Retainer was fanning the flames!
[Hu Tao]:Aiya, let's just focus on the video, shall we? Look—they're buying kites now, and guess what—Zhongli again doesn't have any Mora on him, yet still talks so confidently! Luckily Tartaglia showed up in time!
[Kaeya]:Miss Hu Tao, that topic change was so abrupt! (grin)
[Arataki Itto]:I gotta know—how does a guy with no Mora act so rich all the time? Does he work ten jobs a day or something?!
[Kuki Shinobu]:Boss, people like Mr. Zhongli have many... unconventional sources of income.
[Gu Chen]:Zhongli: "Put it on the Funeral Parlor's tab." (smirk)
[Zhongli]:Correction—these days, I put it on the Northland Bank's tab!
[Tartaglia]:...
[Baizhu]:The four of them are coming to Bubu Pharmacy, aren't they?
Indeed, the video now showed Gu Chen's group entering Bubu Pharmacy.
"Eh? There's no one at the counter… and the air feels kinda creepy…"
Paimon glanced around nervously.
Aside from their group, the pharmacy was completely empty.
"Uh, hello? Is anyone here?" she called.
"Welcome."
The voice was flat—lifeless.
Paimon froze. "D-Did you hear where that came from…?"
She immediately hid behind Gu Chen.
"There's a spirit here," Gu Chen said thoughtfully.
"Haha, Gu Chen, you jest. It's coming from behind the counter," Zhongli chuckled.
Sure enough, when they approached, they saw a little girl barely tall enough to see over the counter—
a talisman stuck to her forehead, skin pale as paper, eyes dull and emotionless.
A chill ran down Paimon's spine.
"A zombie?" Gu Chen said, calm as ever.
"Welcome to Bubu Pharmacy. I'm Qiqi."
"Qiqi has… died once. But was saved… by an Adeptus. So now… Qiqi is a zombie."
Her tiny voice was halting and broken, making her sound even more pitiful.
[Hu Tao]:Oho~ Qiqi~ @[Qiqi] (Hu Tao·playful)
[Qiqi]:(Qiqi·falls over)
[Baizhu]:Please, Hall Master Hu, don't frighten Qiqi like that. (sweat)
[Kirara]:Hehe, little Qiqi's actually kinda cute!
[Nilou]:Is her speech slow because she's a zombie now? Poor thing... (Klee·sniffles)
[Qiqi]:Qiqi… is fine.
[Paimon]:Wait, this is the first time Qiqi's talked in the group, isn't it?!
[Qiqi]:Hu Tao… bad.
[Hu Tao]:(Klee·teary eyes)
[Hu Tao]:I already apologized! It's just—Qiqi's got bad memory! She's very attached to being alive, so she doesn't like me 'cause I, uh… might've tried to bury her once. But I know the truth now and I really am sorry! Qiqi, forgive me!!
[Qiqi]:Qiqi… knows. Qiqi will write it down.
[Gu Chen]:Suggestion: Hu Tao, maybe talk online first. Meet in person later—once she warms up to you.
[Hu Tao]:Got it! (Hu Tao·cute)
In the video, Qiqi requested they hunt a half-Adeptus beast known as the Cocogoat.
The group went searching, repaired the Ruin Device, and scoured the mountains—
but found nothing.
When they returned to Bubu Pharmacy, Qiqi looked quietly disappointed.
"It's fine… but still… disappointed."
Her sad little voice tugged at everyone's hearts.
"The Cocogoat's milk… delicious. Better than normal milk. So it must… be a half-Adeptus beast."
Qiqi's conviction was unshakable.
[Heizou]:Wait, hold up—does Liyue actually have a half-Adeptus beast called the Cocogoat?
[Chongyun]:I'm checking ancient texts right now! Nothing! Not a single record! (Paimon·shocked)
[Azhdaha]:Ohhhh—this one knows! The Cocogoat is @[Ganyu]!
[Ganyu]:Huh?!
[Paimon]:Wait a sec! Ganyu's profile picture does have horns! So she's not human! That means she's a Cocogoat, right?! (clever)
[Paimon]:If Miss Ganyu is the Cocogoat, can she maybe give us some coconut milk? Look at poor Qiqi—she's starving! (Klee·pleading)
[Azhdaha]:Indeed, in my memories, you are a half-Adeptus beast. (nodding)
[Ganyu]:Yes, I'm half-Adeptus… but I'm not a Cocogoat! I'm a Qilin!
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