Dinner with the Addams family was, as expected, a challenge to sensory perception and culinary etiquette.
The majestic dining room was wrapped in a cozy gloom, illuminated only by the flickering light of a candelabra and the faint phosphorescent glow emanating from the table.
The long polished mahogany table was covered by a thick black tablecloth, and upon it was displayed a feast that would have made the bravest Chef run away.
The main course was a giant octopus roasted to perfection. Its tentacles, thick as pythons, were coiled in a disturbing presentation, adorned with a type of pale fungus that emitted a faint and ghostly phosphorescence.
Beside it, the side dish was a salad that turned out to be a dark purple deep-sea seaweed, crunchy and viscous.
In the center, an iron pot bubbled over a small flame, containing a thick deep purple soup, in which floated eyeballs of creatures that watched the diners.
The butler Lurch, always rigid and solemn like a statue, moved among them slowly serving a dark red liquid into skull-shaped goblets.
"Try it, Lief!" exclaimed Gomez, raising his goblet with overflowing enthusiasm, "This is a 'Bloody Mary' that we have treasured in the catacombs of our basement for three hundred years. A true and absolute Bloody Mary!"
Lief looked at the dark crimson liquid, which had a suspiciously viscous consistency inside the goblet. Then, he looked at Gomez's face, whose sincerity was so pure that it was impossible to doubt his honesty.
Smiling he raised his own goblet in a gesture of acceptance and drank the contents in a single gulp.
A strange liquid, with an unexpectedly complex flavor slid down his throat.
And to his delight it wasn't blood, but the flavor was surprisingly robust and exquisite.
"An excellent wine," he praised with a sincerity that won Gomez's instant approval.
Morticia showed a charming smile, the embodiment of Gothic grace and with a silver fork, personally pierced a piece of the meatiest tentacle and placed it on Lief's plate.
"Indulge yourself," she invited with her mellifluous voice, "This poor tormented beast was plucked from the shadows last week, right in the delicious desolation of the Bermuda Triangle. Its flesh is divinely cold and viscous, a true delicacy of the abyss."
"Brother! It was there! It was right there where I disappeared!" Uncle Fester, now with his mind restored, hit the table with childish joy, "The taste of the sea monsters from there is the best! Those are my squid! Next time we will go together!"
Pugsley, oblivious to the conversation, was absorbed in his own task.
With a small hand axe, he struggled to open a huge crab whose shell was so thick and hard that it looked like a rock.
...
Throughout the dinner, Lief carried himself with an ease that charmed the family. Despite the nature of the dishes, he tasted every meal and was able to give appropriate evaluations on their "virtues" and gastronomic complexities, always maintaining the protocol of Addams courtesy.
He even immersed himself in deep and absurd discussions.
He discoursed with Fester about the efficiency of energy conversion necessary to use lightning to activate corpses, and engaged with Gomez in a lively debate about the subtle and lethal techniques of medieval fencing.
Only Wednesday spoke very little from beginning to end.
She remained silent, observing Lief without missing a single gesture.
He was full of contradictions: his incomprehensible strength, his unalterable calm under pressure and that strange temperament that, while it clashed with the passionate madness of the Addams, integrated perfectly with the darkness of their home.
The dinner ended in a harmonious and totally satisfactory atmosphere.
Gomez, in a fit of gratitude, insisted on gifting Lief a ceremonial dagger that, according to family legend, had been used to "assassinate Julius Caesar" on the Senate steps.
But Lief rejected it politely with a smile, expressing firmly that friendship and the shared experience were more precious than any material good.
Although disappointed not to be able to celebrate with an offering of historical value, Gomez accepted his word with respect.
…
Night had fallen with all its weight on the property and silence had claimed its place.
Already in the courtyard, Lief stopped for a moment observing the twisted remains of the huge iron gate that the Rolls-Royce had rammed hours ago.
"Sigh..."
Satisfied with the outcome and preferring to avoid long and sentimental goodbyes, Lief calculated the best route to leave silently.
However, before he could take a step toward more...
"What exactly are you?"
Stopping dead, Lief turned around slowly and found Wednesday standing a few meters away, with her arms crossed over her black dress.
"Lief Connor"
"That is your social label, not your biological classification," she replied without altering her stoic expression, "You are not a common mortal. You possess the physical strength to break steel shackles with your bare hands, the ability to defy gravity to enter through a high window and, most intriguing, you used an unknown energy frequency to pull my father out of his catatonia."
"None of that is listed in standard human anatomy."
"..."
Lief looked at her with an amused smile. The girl was observant.
"Then, what is your hypothesis?" he asked, returning the challenge, "What do you think I am?"
"Some variant of supernatural creature," Wednesday replied without hesitation, "Perhaps a mutant, a failed experiment or the heir to a lineage that has been diluted in history. Whatever it is, I am interested in you."
The girl's brutal frankness seemed amusing to him.
"Interest is the first step to exploring the unknown... However, I warn you: there are certain walls that, once crossed, eliminate the path back."
"..."
Wednesday held his gaze with intensity.
"I never look back."
Lief stared at her for a few seconds and finally, nodded.
"Very well. If you desire answers so much, come with me. I will take you to a place where perhaps there you will find what you are looking for... or perhaps you will find something worse."
He walked toward a side service door that led to the garden and visualized his destination with clarity.
"My office," he announced, pushing the door and stepping aside with a gesture of invitation, "A discreet place to deal with 'special' problems."
Without hesitating, Wednesday advanced with a firm step and crossed the threshold.
But reality warped before her eyes.
The "cozy" air of her mansion disappeared instantly, replaced by a climate-controlled environment and the smell of machine oil and pizza.
She found herself in a spacious office, illuminated by dim lights and decorated with a cozy clutter.
There was a huge desk covered in papers, a leather sofa, and the walls were of red brick, there were shelves adorned with weapons and... trophies? a shelf full of things Wednesday didn't recognize.
In a corner, a classic jukebox played the low chords of a rock song.
However, what captured her attention was the occupant of the room.
A boy who seemed to be approximately her same age was lying face down on the carpet. He wore thick work goggles on his forehead and his hair was messy, and he was completely absorbed in assembling a complex mechanical device, surrounded by screwdrivers and wires.
Upon hearing the sound of the door closing, the boy raised his head suddenly.
"Lief, you're back!" exclaimed the boy, jumping to his feet with a smile.
However, he stopped dead upon noticing that Lief didn't come alone.
His gaze settled on Wednesday and Wednesday's analytical gaze settled on him.
Two intellects, two unique and dark visions of the world, collided in the air charged with static electricity.
"Hello," said the boy, recovering his composure and wiping the grease from his hand on his pants before extending it. "I'm Victor. Victor Frankenstein."
Wednesday observed the offered hand for a second before shaking it.
"Wednesday Addams."
The girl's touch was cold like the marble of a tombstone, but Victor didn't flinch; in fact, he seemed intrigued.
However, Wednesday's attention didn't remain on the greeting; her eyes drifted almost immediately toward the device resting next to Victor's feet.
"The tension of the bow is unusual..." she murmured, crouching slightly. "Is this a rapid-string repeating crossbow based on a double spring and helical gear mechanism?"
Victor's eyes lit up.
"Exactly!" he replied. "I've redesigned the feed system completely. In theory, this allows for an uninterrupted firing cycle, as long as you keep the magazine full."
But Wednesday wasn't so easily impressed and inspecting the gears.
"The magazine capacity is a weak point," she pointed out coldly. "Besides, you are ignoring basic thermodynamics. This structure will suffer catastrophic wear under high-frequency firing stress. I calculate that the probability of it jamming will exceed thirty-seven point five percent after the first hundred shots."
"I took that into account!" Victor smiled, picking up a piece with enthusiasm. "That's why I didn't use standard steel! I designed a double-rail feed slot to stabilize the flow and used a shape-memory alloy on the crucial gear teeth, to reduce metal fatigue to the absolute minimum and dissipate heat."
The two children began to speak, creating a bubble of isolation where the rest of the world ceased to exist.
It seemed like two soulmates had just met.
"..."
Lief watched the scene from the door with a genuine smile.
Victor's loneliness had just ended.
"Ah, Lief!" said Victor suddenly, coming out of his trance upon remembering the crucial reason.
He stood up, took the already assembled crossbow and handed it to him.
"This is the final version. I modified it according to your specifications. It can fire a burst of fifty bolts without reloading. Besides..." Victor lowered his voice, a little unsure, "I took the liberty of carving runes on every arrow and dipped them in a concentrated holy water solution. I don't know if theology works the same as science, but I thought it wouldn't hurt."
Lief took the crossbow.
It was heavy and solid.
And above all he could feel a hum of bluish energy emanating from the metal.
"Whether it works or not, I'll find out very soon, but this is a masterpiece, Victor."
The boy scratched his head, blushing slightly, "I'm just glad to be useful."
Lief ruffled his hair with affection, a gesture that Victor accepted with a shy smile before turning quickly to drag Wednesday toward another workbench, eager to show her his other little inventions.
Lief approached and Wednesday was looking intensely at a frog inside a jar that had electrodes connected to its brain.
"Wednesday," Lief called her attention.
The girl looked up.
"You can come back here whenever you want," he offered, looking her in the eyes. "Remember this name: 'Devil May Cry'. Wherever you are, you just need to find a door, visualize that name and wish to enter. If I give you permission, the threshold will bend and bring you here."
"..."
Wednesday held his gaze for a long moment.
And for a fraction of a second, something seemed to soften in her expression; she didn't say thank you, but she nodded a single time.
________
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