Automatons?
Like robots?
Goblins, hulk, big boars, and now...robots.
Well can this even be called a robot? It looks...well, like a big cube of wood.
Well multiples cubes of wood, the design is inspired from a human, or at least a humanoid.
A small cube of wood for the head.
A bigger one for the torso.
Two for the hands, two for the elbows, two for the shoulders.
And same for the hips, knees, and feet.
That's.....look, it may look a bit badass in your head, but, really it's not.
Whatever you're thinking of right now. A badass wooden robot. It's not it, really it's not. Believe me.
"What...is" annie don't manage to finish her sentence, instead she start chuckling again before mumbling something like "millitary mode go brrrrrrrr"
And you know what.
For once I agree.
This woodman, just look...straight up pathetic.
Some mumble's continue behind me, one particularly insistent on my left "is this truly my ennemy? This....babbling fool?"
Who the fuck talk like that!? Babbling fool? Are you for real malfoy?
Whatever, he still have a point here. One of the big reasons the woodman isn't scary is that, well, he's kinda....babbling.
Babbling in the sense that he's walking like a newborn baby, you saw those videos of deers? The baby ones?
I'm sure you know, those little videos where the baby can barely stand straight, shake in the wind like the wind is litterally stronger than him and could push him down.
Yes those videos.
Well...
Woodman. I'm not calling that an automaton. Is kinda like that.
A big sigh come from my left, malfoy start walking forward toward the automaton "very well, let us just...take care of this problem at once"
He clearly, clearly doesn't take this woodman seriously, and I almost want to agree with him but.
My fist is tight around my spear.
I was so ready for a fight.
I took so much time, for days since the last door happened, while I rested. I tried my hardest to take care of all those problems myself.
Trying to take my spear out multiples times and shit, pushing through my fear however I could.
I did my best to psych myself for another fight.
To be ready for it, to fight and win, to go home faster.
I just....I just can't believe that's all, there must be more to that wooden guy, I'm sure of it.
Pushing myself forward, my hand lash out to grab malfoy shoulder. Keeping him right there, he turn his head to look at me as I talk.
"Stay here, that guy isn't what he looks to be"
Annie get closer, just behind balrow as she listen to me talking "what do you mean?" I give her a glance, then another glance at the woodman.
What do I mean huh?
Well that's a great fucking question, I see nothing but patheticness, but it can't be.
It can't be, for all I did, it can't be.
"I....have a gut feeling" I'm just worried everything I did was for nothing.
I can't really see anyone reaction since I'm staring at the woodman stumbling toward us.
Hopelessly.
He's like...far...very far.
And it's been a while since we started talking already. He's just a babbling woodguy, he's struggling to walk fast enough.
Even if I can't see their reactions, I can still hear malfoy answering to me "a hunch? Are you telling me that this" he point at the wood man "this little wood thing, is dangerous?"
I mean....yeah?
Maybe I should talk about the blue thingies? Would it convince them?
Oh right, the blue thingies, you don't know about the blue thingies.
It's relied to every wooden part of the woodman, head, torso, legs, all the cubes.
It's like? Bones and joints I guess? But the blue thing look spindly, and kinda glow? It looks more like tentacles than anything.
The woodman struggle with walking forward. He stumble heavily before continuing his road.
Alright they are less like tentacles and more like knackis. The sausages.
"Yeah.... Look at the blue limbs" my reasoning is so damn weak right now.
Malfoy look at me like I grew a thousand heads, then he blink, a lot, and finally turn around to point straight at the woodman.
It's still walking.
it didn't do much progress.
"This...creature." He struggled to say the word creature. As if he were searching a word to describe this thing. "Is dangerous? With it's...little soft limbs, and it's...sword?"
Oh right the sword.
Wooden sword. Clearly wooden sword.
The kind of training sword you see in series and movies.
It's holding it, somehow. In his cube arm and wave it around. Like some kind of dumb character in a game with ridiculous physics. Gang beast shit. Party animals kinda shit.
He keep waving it around, like it's a flag and...
He fall. Having waved the sword a bit too hard to the left. So he tilted it too much to the side for his body, and kind of just fell, right on his sword.
Did that guy just fall down?
Yeah..
He just fell down.
Like a little shit.
The woodman fell, just like that.
The woodboy, sorry, the woodboy fell. Just like that.
....uhhhh
Is he getting up?
"Extremely dangerous. He'll get up in a second" even I don't take my words seriously.
The woodboy just, shift, like a fish in the sand.
"In a second right now" I should just admit my mistake.
Malfoy listen to me, waiting, staring at the woodboy.
"In a siiiiiiingle second" it's starting to become sad.
[Congratulation on beating the first wave! Second wave incoming!]
The little woody shit just stay down.
Malfoy turn his head to look at me, eyes wide, waiting for my next words.
I turn my head to look at malfoy, and also see balrow staring at me.
But they aren't the only ones staring.
Annie stare at me.
Jenna stare at me too.
"Extremely dangerous" barely managed to croak those words out.
Before more can be said though another door, in the complete opposite direction slide up again.
The sound is fucking insane, and we all stare at each other while the process of another door being opened happen.
When it's finally done.
Another woodyboy come out, this time it's bigger. But it's the same really.
Just bigger, more our size. Before it was more goblin sized.
The woodyboy start walking toward us again. Waving his sword around like a kid.
"I am..." malfoy pop his lips, figuring out his next words "going to work for the side mission" I nod at malfoy as he just...leave, forward, alone, going to fight the woodyboy alone.
Not like he need help I guess.
Putting my hands on my waist I look at everyone else and give a big sigh "what the fuck?"
Jenna answer first, patting my back while trying to explain "the side mission is made for someone alone to be possible to win...it's probabaly normal that the ennemies are weaker"
Looking at jenna I whip my head between her and the corpse of woody boy.
-woody boy. 2025-2025. Cause of death:
Fell in the sand.
"But...we didn't even fight it? It fell. It just fell down"
She look at me, small worried smile, then look back at the woodyboy.
"I..i-it did. Yes?" She can't believe this just happened too.
That's...
What the fuck?
Annie come to pat my other shoulder "don't be so sad ludger, look..." She point at the scene of malfoy just walking around the woody boy in circle.
It's like...really fucking pathetic.
It try to wave it's training sword around like some kind of puppet, no skill, nothing. Malfoy isn't even being good at dodging here.
Nah...anyone remotely athletic could dodge this wooden shit.
Children included.
That's....that's what I was preparing myself to fight against? That's what I thought my blood would boil for?
"At least this door isn't dangerous?"
Annie answer me "I guess it's not...yeah"
Balrow just look at malfoy dancing around the woodboy. He's not even trying to fight really, just walking around, putting his hands behind his back, leaning forward searching for attacks. Taunting, being annoying.
He's just being an arrogant shit.
Urgh.
Whatever, don't have time to waste for this shit.
"MALFOY KILL THE SHIT ALREADY!"
Malfoy not even caring to look at the woodboy turn his face toward me, grin on his face turning his back to the frankly...non threatening ennemy.
"VERY WELL, CANNOT HAV-?" Malfoy shut the fuck up, as he fucking spit outside, a groan I've never heard him do come out of his throat. A mix of sound of someone begging for air and the groan of pain you don't hear adults make often.
His feet drag on the sand under him.
Leaving deep grooves, carrying him away like he was pushed by a 300 pounds sumo.
The badly swung sword of the woodboy rest in the air just in front of his belly, where it impacted him a second before.
I fucking knew it.