I slouched deeper into the office chair, watching Death Arms pace back and forth. The lotus pattern in my eyes had settled into a bored spin, matching my mood. The hero agency's fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, making everything look cheap and washed-out. Kind of like the heroes lecturing me.
"Do you understand how serious this is?" Death Arms stopped pacing to loom over me. "Quirk use without a license-"
"Is illegal, yeah." I checked my phone again on the charger. Still dead. "You mentioned that. Three times now."
Mt. Lady leaned against the wall, examining her nails. "The kid's got a point. We're just repeating ourselves."
"Because he's not taking this seriously!" Death Arms slammed his hands on the desk. The lotus pattern spun a bit faster, but I kept my expression bored.
"Sorry, having trouble taking lectures from heroes who couldn't handle one slime villain." I met his glare. "How long did you stand there while that girl - Bakami? Whatever her name is - how long did you watch her suffocate?"
Kamui Woods stepped forward. "That's not-"
"Three minutes?" I continued. "Four? I counted at least six explosions before I got there. Real hero work, standing around while a teenager fights for her life."
"The situation required careful consideration," Kamui Woods said stiffly. "We couldn't risk-"
"Careful consideration." I laughed. "Is that what we're calling it now?"
"Listen here, you little-" Death Arms started.
"No, you listen." I sat up straight. "You want to lecture me about illegal quirk use? Fine. Write me up. But don't pretend you were doing your jobs. That girl almost died while you 'carefully considered' the situation."
Mt. Lady pushed off the wall. "He's got you there."
"Yu!" Kamui Woods hissed.
"What? He's right." She dropped into the chair next to me. "We screwed up. The kid stepped up. Maybe we should spend less time lecturing him and more time figuring out why three pros couldn't handle one villain."
Death Arms' face turned an interesting shade of red. The lotus pattern spun faster, like it was enjoying the show.
"The proper protocols-" he began.
"Got a girl nearly killed," I cut in. "But hey, at least you followed procedure, right?"
"You arrogant little-"
A knock interrupted whatever creative insult Death Arms had planned. A sidekick stuck his head in.
"Sorry to interrupt, but the girl's mother is here. She's... uh... rather insistent about speaking to everyone involved."
Right on cue, an explosion rattled the windows.
"WHERE IS HE? I'LL KILL THAT SILVER-EYED BASTARD!"
"Guess she's feeling better."
Mt. Lady snorted. "This should be fun."
The door slammed open hard enough to crack the wall. The explosive girl stood there looking ready for murder. A woman who had to be her mother stood behind her, radiating the same murderous energy.
"You!" She jabbed a finger at me. "What's this shit about you saving me?"
"Would you prefer I left you to suffocate in slime?" I asked. "Because that seemed to be everyone else's plan."
"I had it under control!"
"Right. That's why you were passing out."
Her palms crackled. "Listen here, Lotus Boy-"
"Lotus Boy?" I grinned. "That's actually not bad."
"Shut up!" She stepped forward, but her mother grabbed her collar.
"Katsumi!" The older woman's grip looked painfully tight. "What have I told you about threatening people who save your ungrateful ass?"
"I didn't need saving!"
"The cell phone videos suggest otherwise," I said helpfully.
Both women turned to glare at me. The family resemblance was striking, especially in their matching expressions of rage.
"You." Mrs. Explosions's voice could have stripped paint. "The boy with the barrier quirk?"
I nodded.
"Good job not letting my idiot daughter die." She bowed slightly. "Though you could have been faster."
"Mom!"
"What? He could have." Mrs. Explosion turned to the heroes. "And you three."
Death Arms straightened. "Ma'am, we-"
"Save it." She cut him off with a wave. "I saw the videos. All of them. My daughter could have died while you stood around looking important."
"The situation-" Kamui Woods began.
"Required careful consideration?" I suggested.
He shot me a look that promised paperwork. So much paperwork.
"I've called a lawyer," Mrs. Explosion continued. "Any attempt to punish this boy for saving my daughter will result in a very public lawsuit. I'm sure the media would love to hear why three professional heroes needed a teenager to do their jobs."
Mt. Lady whistled low. "She's got you there too."
"Yu!" Kamui Woods snapped. "You're not helping!"
"Not trying to." She winked at me. "Kid's got style. And balls. We could use more of both."
Death Arms looked ready to explode. The lotus pattern spun lazily, almost smugly.
"Fine." He bit out the word like it hurt. "We'll mark this as a justified emergency response. But!" He jabbed a finger at me. "This is your one free pass. Next time-"
"Next time maybe don't wait for teenagers to save each other." I stood up. "Can I go now? My phone's dead and my mom's probably worried."
"I'll drive you," Mt. Lady offered. "Consider it an apology for the lecture."
"You're not helping the situation," Kamui Woods muttered.
"No," she agreed cheerfully. "I'm helping the kid who did our job for us. Coming, Lotus Boy?"
I followed her out, pausing in the doorway. "Hey, Explosion girl."
"What?" She was still trying to shake off her mother's grip.
"Try not to get eaten by any more slime villains. The paperwork's a pain."
I ducked the explosion she sent my way, grinning as her mother's shouts followed us down the hall.
"You're going to be trouble," Mt. Lady said as we walked to her car. It was purple, because of course it was. "I like it."
"That makes one pro hero."
"More than that." She unlocked the doors. "Death Arms and Kamui are just mad because you showed them up. Give it time. They'll come around."
"Don't care if they do." I slid into the passenger seat. "They had their chance to be heroes today. They chose protocols instead."
She started the engine. "Sometimes protocols exist for a reason."
"Sure. And sometimes they're excuses to not take action." I watched the city slide past the windows. "Heroes shouldn't need excuses."
"Hmm." She navigated through traffic with surprising skill. "Planning to go pro yourself?"
I finally charged my phone enough. 27 missed calls from Mom… The lotus pattern pulsed once. "Maybe. If I can figure out how to turn infinite space manipulation into profit."
"Oh?" Her grin turned sharp. "Now that's interesting. Ever consider modeling? Those eyes of yours could-"
"Turn here," I cut her off. "And not yet. I've got other plans."
"Shame. You've got the look for it." She pulled up to my house.
I got out, then paused. "Hey."
"Mm?"
"Thanks. For the ride. And for admitting they screwed up."
She waved lazily. "Don't mention it. Seriously, don't. Kamui will never let me hear the end of it."