Chapter 157 - Chapter 148

Aiko took one last look around the hotel room before she headed out the door. A heavy finality hung over the teacup left waiting on the table and the toiletries she wouldn't be retrieving from the bathroom.

It wasn't like she'd ever loved this stupid hotel room. It was under constant surveillance and plagued by an older air conditioning unit that limped more than it ran. It wasn't a home. But it was probably the last place where she'd ever sleep more than a night or two in Konoha.

"You're not getting sentimental on me now, are you?"

She rolled her eyes and slammed the door shut behind her. She considered the key in her palm for a moment as she led her team out through the lobby. She wanted to toss it to the counter, but that would be a slight hint that she didn't intend to return. Might raise alarm bells, that was all. She put the key into the same pouch as her money.

"You certainly showed me," Sanbi drawled. "Most casual and unattached."

'Fuck you too, reptile.'

Pointedly, she yawned and pretended not to hear his sputtering. She led her brats through the crowds, not pushing despite how eager the genin were to hurry up. They stopped for yakitori and yakisoba on the way. Aiko managed to babble something vaguely dad-ish about needing fuel, but the boys were too wound up to properly groan about it.

The stadium was enormous, teeming with bodies. The lower levels, about 2/3 of the space, were lined with seats. The upper reaches were a series of pavilions cordoned off with ropes and filled with seating cushions. At the very top, several special seating areas were boxed off and air-conditioned for the most important people.

Aiko craned her head and watched them fill, seeing who she recognized. That was one of the Fire Daimyo's cousins, with her constant companion, the minister of transportation, a woman in her mid-thirties. There, to the left- that person and his entourage had to be from one of the smaller countries. She didn't recognize them but the group composition and clothes marked several of them as royalty. Oh, the Daimyo's wife was joining her cousin-in law. And, of course, the Hokage filed in with ANBU bodyguards early enough to receive the Kazekage.

Well. Orochimaru, rather. But he was wearing the robes of the Kazekage and accompanied by the Kazekage's bodyguards, which was apparently enough to get past security. Aiko would say that seemed a bit lax, except that she wouldn't put it past Orochimaru to literally be wearing the Kazekage's face. It was both practical and horrifying, so of course he would.

"Practical?" Sanbi asked, disbelieving.

As a solution, face-stealing both created and solved problems. So….

Aiko shrugged. In a way, yeah? Whatever. She dismissed the train of thought, because other things were catching her attention. Keisuke was agonizing over the perfect seating while his teammates were staring into the area where contestants would wait with varying levels of nerves.

Well. Aiko scanned the crowds, hands in her pockets. She knew where she wanted to deposit her genin. If they were going to insist on fighting, she would like for them to not die horribly, or at least be near someone responsible enough to point out their corpses so she could revive them and laugh at them forever. She needed an adult.

…Well, her students needed an adult, really. They had her, but they currently required an adult who was adultier than she was.

Ah, there. She hooked one finger around the closest child's collar and began towing him along. The other ducklings followed. She let go of Yuusaku and let him slip behind her once they'd got going properly. They went up two rows, across an aisle, and then down eight rows, at which point the genin probably thought she was fucking with them. When she stopped suddenly, Yuusaku walked into her.

"Oh." Aiko gave her worst impression of surprise, blinking slowly. "How nice to see you here."

Neji gave a disbelieving look without turning his head, but Tenten was leaning shamelessly to gape at the woman who had initiated a conversation with Gai of her own free will. Lee sparkled. Gai leapt up, grinning. "Greetings! I am pleas-"

Aiko sat down. "Do you mind," she said. "Everywhere else is full." She desperately wished she could pull out a book to indicate that the conversation was over, but she was not going to risk her precious babies here. Replacing an entire series was not cheap, and she had other demands on her funds.

Tenten made an incredulous gesture towards the wealth of open seats around- the tournament didn't even start for an hour. And the contestants among them would need to move down to the ring-side waiting area anyway.

These were all reasonable points that Aiko wasn't interested in debating.

Aiko raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. She made eye contact. Tenten blinked. Her mouth twitched, and then opened. She looked down at her lap, brow furrowed.

"Is a staring match with a genin really worthy of the dignity of a Mizukage?" Sanbi asked, pained. "Uzumaki, please consider utilizing some decorum. I am embarrassed for you."

"Of course you may join us!" Gai beamed, not sitting back down yet. "And who are these fine young people?" He sparkled at Aiko's team.

'That sounds like a personal problem,' Aiko shot back to the Sanbi. 'Sad for you.'

She hooked a thumb towards the kids. "These short people?" Aiko asked. They were all taller than she was. One of them made an indignant sound. She shrugged. "They follow me a lot. I forget their names. Maybe one of them is named Hirota? Something like that."

Keisuke made an indignant sound and bit it off just as quickly. There was a full three seconds of stiff silence. She did her best to keep a straight face.

"…I see," Gai said, not sounding like he understood at all.

Ryuusei sniffed and brushed off the front of his slacks as he sat down. He introduced himself, ignoring Aiko entirely. The other two exchanged glances and then followed his lead.

She slouched in her seat and brought one foot up onto the chair. She let one arm dangle off the chair. Aiko did her best to pretend to be somewhere else.

The genin collectively seemed to decide to ignore this. Tenten started a stilted conversation with Keisuke, and managed to drag Neji into it somehow. After a while, things flowed more naturally. Aiko stared resolutely into space, keeping how pleased she was off of her face. It was good to be around people who were normal and healthy enough to bond easily when the conditions were right. It was convenient.

Gai struck up a fairly one-sided conversation that Aiko nodded along to, especially at the parts she disagreed with. He seemed cheerful enough. After a while she relaxed enough to sit more normally. She didn't spend too much time analyzing his motives- he was Gai. He was probably the most well-adjusted adult shinobi she'd ever met. She wasn't that worried about what he would conclude from her actions. He tended to see the best options.

He did quiet a bit when the matches began. One of his students and two of Aiko's made their way down to the contestant's seating. Neji glowered. It was all very predictable.

She tried not to perk up in her seat or look too disinterested in Naruto's match, when he came out first. Then she wondered if trying to modulate her reaction would result in behavior more suspicious than just doing what she felt like doing. It was the first match. She'd be justified in an interest level above 'conscious' even if she didn't know Naruto at all. And it wasn't a secret that she knew Naruto, jus-

"Cease your infernal squirming."

Aiko covered her mouth with a sleeve. 'I think you're getting grumpier. You seem much older and more crotchety than you did when we met.'

"I try. Thank you for noticing."

Wait, what?

But then Naruto was yelling, and Aiko cringed hard enough to bring her back to the outside world.

"I don't care! I'll never give up." His voice was thin, but the crowd was quiet enough that it carried up.

Tenten just stood there. Aiko imagined her expression was carefully neutral, but she couldn't see at this distance. Luckily, the huge display screens flickered on a second later. By that time, any surprised reaction had been concealed.

A shinobi that Aiko only vaguely remembered seeing around gave a resigned check of both genin. "Alright, then." The sound system was… not great. His voice crackled through the speakers. "Begin." He leapt out of the way, which seemed a bit dramatic because nothing happened beyond Naruto dropping into an athletic stance.

Metal creaked. Aiko glanced over to the left and her eyebrows shot up. Lee was gripping the railing so hard that his hands were white.

Well then.

Gai caught her looking and flashed her a grin. "This match is most significant." His tone was confidential. "One of my students is competing against one of my rival's students. It is, by proxy, perhaps our greatest competition yet."

Aiko thought about that. It was… well, yeah. That seemed fair. Kakashi and Gai weren't the ones in the ring, but there was something terribly vulnerable about sending their students off to fight.

"I hope little Tenten wins," she decided.

The other jounin tilted his head slightly.

"She seems like a good kid," Aiko explained. "Plus, Hatake is a dickhead."

Neji gave her a scandalized look, which was sort of adorable and also a dead giveaway that he'd been eavesdropping.

"A… dickhead," Gai repeated slowly.

There was something in his tone that made her wary. "Oh right, he's your friend," Aiko said, as if she'd just remembered. It was more that she'd forgotten she didn't have a relationship with these people that would put them at ease. She gave Gai an easy smile. "He hurt my feelings and I'm going to make him rue the day."

"This does not seem to be a line of discussion that will soothe fears," Sanbi said doubtfully.

Gai rubbed at his chin. "What day will he be ruing?"

That was not the question she would have asked and she wasn't prepared to answer it off-hand. Aiko made a face. "I'll let you know when I've figured it out. I mean, he was pretty rude to me in Wave, so there's that. But he also tricked me yesterday into revealing that I'm either a cheater or sneaking around or just way too knowledgeable about Konoha. So I'm not happy about that. I mean, I didn't let him rub my face in it, but we both knew that he knew I knew what he'd won, and that cannot stand."

He was giving her a look that was no longer contemplation. It leaned more towards disbelief.

"I''m not telling you which nefarious option is accurate," Aiko pointed out. She sniffed. "But I don't see the point in pretending not to be aware of the byplay."

"You would never do that," someone agreed from behind in a tone that was so sincere it was readily apparent that it was a lie.

Aiko didn't jump to her feet because she was startled or anything. She didn't. It was just that she still believed, on some level, that Kakashi would have a hiraishin tag on him, and she occasionally forgot what a sneaky bastard he could be.

He looked far too smug as he took the last step down to their level. He was also henged to appear as Genma, for some reason that she chose not to contemplate deeply. He was avoiding someone, probably.

"This is a clone," Sanbi identified. "I can taste it in his chakra. It is too thin."

Of course. The real one was probably more accessible to his students. Keeping an eye on Sasuke, possibly?

She sat back down and rolled her eyes. "You're lucky you're cute," Aiko said as bitterly as she could manage.

And that- that might be a good tactic to keep in mind, because Kakashi covered it well, but there was an instant where he froze at the implication that she was interested in him. Oh, yes. She could use that.

"Am I cute as well?" Gai asked seriously. Because he was a total bro, and if anything might have made her forget about Kakashi's blunder, that would have been it. He was such a good person.

Um. Aiko blinked to buy a moment to think, but no great answer came to her. She relied on honesty, which was a desperation tactic if she'd ever heard of one. "You're a little frightening. To be candid." He slumped a little, so her tone was apologetic as she went on. "I'm warier about people who might be stronger than me."

Kakashi made an offended sound.

"Yes, I know you'd kill me too if you needed to, and in the right situation you might be able to do it," Aiko soothed. "Maybe. I mean, I'm a lot stronger than either of you are, let's be honest. But Maito-san is a much worse match for me." She crossed her arms and leaned back. "And I think he's an actual adult and that freaks me out. I mean, I'm mostly faking it, but I get the impression that you are actually the same on the inside as you are on the outside." She jerked her head toward Gai to belatedly indicate she was no longer talking to Kakashi. "I'm basically screaming in my head and hoping things work out, so. Bit intimidating. Well-adjusted people, I mean. I get the uncomfortable feeling that you might actually know what's going on and I don't like that."

She grimaced.

No one said anything for long enough that she felt like she might have to defend her statement. Aiko crossed and uncrossed her ankles.

Still silent.

"What is wrong with you?" Sanbi asked. "I genuinely want to know. Why did you think that was a good and useful thing to say?" He paused. "Who hurt you?"

Oh look, Naruto was resorting to the Kyuubi's chakra. She pretended to be interested for a moment, and then realized that was actually mildly concerning. What had she missed?

"That is not good," Kakashi said under his breath.

Aiko snorted. "Not really, no." She tilted her head. "Are you going to do something? How much control does he have? Because it's really not fair to little Tenten if he loses his temper and uses force more appropriate for a deathmatch."

Kakashi gave her a sharp look.

She had to fight not to roll her eyes. Instead, she pointed at her nose. "Uzumaki," Aiko reminded in a dry tone. "You people are not subtle. At all. Of course I know."

"Know what?" Neji asked sharply. "Gai-sensei. Is Tenten in danger?"

"Of course not," Gai said. He flexed. "I would never let one of my beautiful students become harmed. The situation is under control."

He looked as though he didn't entirely trust that, but Naruto was actually fighting down the chakra that had been tinting the air red. He seemed to be entirely himself when he leapt directly through a barrage of kunai to punch Tenten out.

Aiko winced, for both of them. Tenten was going to feel that for a while- she didn't lose consciousness, but with a headblow like that, the match was clearly over. But Naruto wasn't much better. He'd blocked with his arm, but that meant that the worst of the damage was concentrated there. She counted six kunai embedded in his forearm and one on his right shoulder before the screens changed to show the tournament match-up format being amended to show Tenten's name crossed off and Naruto advancing to the second round.

"That was ugly."

When no one responded, Aiko turned her head and noticed that Gai and Kakashi's clone were both gone.

Typical.

The next match was boring and she didn't pretend to care about it. The most interesting thing that happened was when Gai came back, a little grimmer but clearly not too upset. The third match on the board was Sasuke and Gaara.

Gaara was the only genin who walked out. The proctor waited a polite thirty seconds before calling for Sasuke over the loudspeaker.

Aiko covered her face with her hands.

They went to calling for Kakashi on the loudspeaker.

'This is mortifying. I know he's here. Why is he doing this?'

"In Uchiha Sasuke's absence, I have no other choice but to-"

Aiko cracked open an eye to see that Kakashi and Sasuke were, in fact, standing in the arena. They were being a bit dramatic about it, actually.

The proctor sighed and didn't actually seem happier about the interruption than he'd been about the announcement. "Very well," he said, as though things were not remotely well. "Hatake-san, please leave the arena." He waited a moment for compliance. In front of the Daimyo and god and everyone, Kakashi pulled out his book and ambled away at a painfully slow pace. The proctor gritted his teeth. Kakashi hadn't entirely cleared the arena when the man clearly decided he'd had enough. "Please begin."

To his credit, Sasuke did at least make an effort to provoke Gaara into the first attack. She didn't hear what he said, but the little smirk projected on the enormous screen was provocation enough.

There was no reaction. It was like Gaara hadn't even heard. He stood with arms crossed, feet in a neutral stance, and basically just looked like a bad-tempered cat on the verge of falling asleep.

Gradually, the cockiness slipped away as the genin realized it wouldn't accomplish anything with this opponent. Aiko could see the tell in Sasuke's posture before he made the first blow. A wall of sand rose up. Sasuke nearly ended up smacking straight into it.

Titters rang out across the stadium, and that… yepp. Aiko sighed, watching Sasuke's expression go from wary analysis to that damn temper of his. He tried charging Gaara again and again, throwing kunai and shuriken and wires and fire jutsu. None of it connected. He couldn't get close. And Gaara still wore the same ambivalent expression. He didn't even have to uncross his arms.

There had never really been a chance of this match being anything but a shitshow, but somehow it was still frustrating to watch just how outclassed Sasuke was. Aiko put her hands in her pockets so that her white-knuckles didn't betray tension.

Sasuke was stupid, and Kakashi was worse for pitting him against a lethal jinchuuriki for no real reason.

Letting your subordinates fight a stronger opponent with a penchant for unnecessary force: well, it had its place as a tactical resort, but that place wasn't some stupid exhibition match that wouldn't accomplish any other aim. That was a tactic of desperation. That risk was worthwhile to protect a client or a tactical position, to buy time or to try for some important aim.

It wasn't worthwhile when the only thing at stake was the chance to show off in front of a crowd and maybe earn a promotion.

This stubbornness was about misplaced pride, but whose? Sasuke was definitely not yet mature enough to back down from an opponent he couldn't handle. But if he'd been the only one with clouded judgment, Kakashi would have forced the forfeit… or just not brought him back to the tournament at all. He'd think that was funny.

'Does he think Gaara really can't kill Sasuke? Or just that he can stop Gaara in time to save Sasuke's life if needed?'

Honestly, Aiko wouldn't fucking count on being able to do that herself, and she was faster than Kakashi at this distance.

"What do you think?' Gai asked, and it might actually have been casual.

Aiko considered ignoring him. It seemed pointless to dissemble or be rude, though. "The Uchiha is faster than I expected, but he can't win."

Gai puffed up, but it wasn't with indignation. "I have found that it is best never to underestimate my rival. His student, in turn, may prove to be more than we see."

That was of course when Sasuke, finally tired of his pointless charges, went through a familiar series of handsigns. Aiko felt her eyebrows shoot up. Really? He'd taught that to-

Sasuke's chidori went screaming through Gaara's shield. For the first time, Gaara actually had to physically dodge. Caught by surprise, he moved too slowly- the attack grazed his arm.

Sasuke let the lightning spark away. He was saying something again, but it would never had been heard over the approving roars of the crowd at finally seeing some blood spilled.

It was Gaara that Aiko was staring at on the screen. He was staring down at his shredded sleeve in disbelief. Slowly, he touched the cut with his left hand. He brought the blood on his fingers up to his face and just looked at it.

'Here we go,' Sanbi said glumly.

Gaara threw his head back and screamed, mouth wrenched open until the seams of his lips must be straining. He began backing away from Sasuke, stumbling in confusion like a wounded animal.

Ah. Was that Ichibi-san's typical reaction to something like that? Aiko swallowed down a shudder. Even if she hadn't known what he was, she would have been disturbed by that painful sound.

Sasuke hesitated for one moment, something like common sense warning him away. And then he rushed the other genin to finish the match before Gaara could gather himself enough to turn that anger against him.

Which was an utterly ridiculous time for people to be slumping in their seats.

Aiko felt affronted before she realized what must be happening. It was a long, strange moment: Gaara lurched towards the wall and burst it open. He escaped into the forest. Sasuke sprinted after him while thousands of people collapsed like abandoned puppets.

'I didn't even feel the genjutsu. That doesn't make sense, it's got to be a strong one to put down so many chuunin. I'm not immune to genjutsu with the Rinnegan deactivated., so..?'

Absently, she raised her left hand into a fist and punched at Gai's shoulder. He caught the fist, eyes blinking open in confusion.

"You are a jinchuuriki," Sanbi pointed out. "Even if you faltered, I would not allow an external force to take control."

Well, fair enough.

"Something weird is happening," she said mildly. She didn't try to pull her hand away by force- that just wasn't gonna happen.

Gai let her go and said something that was not youthful at all. Frankly, she was surprised he knew those kinds of words. By the time she'd twisted to stare, he'd woken Neji and Lee. Aiko shook Keisuke and pushed him toward the other genin.

Neji gave her a wary look.

She looked back at him blandly. "Hyuuga-kun, keep precious little what's-his-face safe, would you?" Aiko didn't wait for an answer- she jumped up onto the seat in front of her for a better vantage point. Gai would make sure his team was fine- and they were all strong. The children would seek each other out. A group of 6 chuunin level candidates under the supervision of an elite jounin should be fine… or at least leave recognizable corpses, if the worst happened.

Much of the crowd was still down, still or groaning in disorientation. Someone gave one high scream that cut off too quickly and sent a few people jerking up. Among the rows, some people were visually standing out by standing and moving- oh god, two rows down, a woman in plain clothes was dashing along the row making opportunistic slashes at sleeping spectators. A genin got his hand up in protection-

Aiko flinched at the scream. He hadn't gotten a weapon up. She was moving before she could think.

It was too late. The infiltrator didn't try to pry the impaled hand off her blade- she brought the whole thing back down towards the boy. Aiko kicked the woman in the teeth, but rich, hot blood was already spurting out. The infiltrator's head flung back with a painful crack that Aiko felt in her sandal. The woman's arms flung out to the side- she didn't even have the right reflexes. Must be why her assignment was killing children.

Aiko bared her teeth and twisted her weight into a sideways kick that caught the bitch in the neck. It broke, but the force of the attack sent the body flying downwards to catch several sleeping spectators in the head before rolling to a stop on someone's feet. It left a muddled path of people waking up in confusion.

The jounin were acting now, countering the vanguard who had tipped their hands and made the enemy clear. Steel clashed. People were shouting orders and warnings. Aiko heard Asuma shouting out "Suna!" Someone followed suit with "Sound!" It was a few moments before a high voice added, "Grass!"

But right here, right now, the genin she'd come too late to was trying to hold his neck shut with both hands, white eyes fixed on Aiko. He inhaled wetly.

She closed her eyes to break contact. "You'll last longer if you don't take out the kunai." Aiko licked her lips. She looked back at the terror on that young face. When she put her hand on his sweaty head, he leaned into the touch. There was a horrible sound from above, the kind of thing that could only mean massive destruction of the building. Orochimaru and the Sandaime, probably.

"Are we going to stay with him until he dies?" Sanbi asked, doubtful. "That could take several minutes."

Of course not. Aiko managed a smile. "Look at me." When he did, begging for help, she leaned forward so that her hair would hide what she was about to do. She turned on the Rinnegan and caught him in genjutsu- nothing complicated. Just warmth, sleepiness, and pleasant feelings.

She caught him before she cut off the chakra to her eyes. She leaned the boy against his deceased neighbor. She glanced at the person to the other side- another genin? A teammate, maybe. There was no way her wakeup call was going to be pleasant. Aiko cringed in commiseration.

Honestly, this arena was a deathtrap for genin. Getting them up would give them a chance to die on their feet, but not much else. If they were sleeping, they were likely to suffer incidental casualties at worst now that the jounin were countering the invaders. And at least it'd be quick.

Aiko turned back to the hole that Gaara had opened. She might have missed it, but it didn't look like anyone had followed.

She went after, because Sasuke was going to get his fool self killed. And if he did, Naruto would be close behind. It was what he did.

It wasn't difficult. She didn't need to do anything that could really be called tracking- Gaara had burned acidic chakra in a mostly straight line out of the arena, taking occasional chunks out of anything he got too close to. There was one bush that was actually on fire, which was baffling until she realized that Sasuke had probably been throwing attacks at his fleeing opponent.

She saw Sasuke's back through the trees first, stiff and arched like a cat's as he refused to entirely back down. Gaara was twenty feet beyond on his knees and one hand. The other was pulling at his face. He convulsed.

'This is clearly an untenable tactical position for a human child, is it not?" Sanbi half-asked.

Well. Yeah, but that was Sasuke for you.

Aiko leaned forward and peered at Sasuke's face, which was when he noticed her. He startled.

"You're a brave kid," she told him honestly. He was pale, but he looked determined.

His brow furrowed.

"I'm going to take over." Aiko felt like patting his head, but they probably didn't have that kind of relationship. "Do you know what a jinchuuriki is?"

Gaara's shrieks cut abruptly in volume, replaced mostly by harsh breathing. She glanced over to see that he was watching her now with slitted eyes.

Well that wasn't creepy at all. He really needed someone to sit down and have a talk with him. And if she wasn't going to let Naruto do it, it sort of fell to her. Ugh. Not her strength, really. She wanted an adult. But there wasn't one and there was never going to be one, so she was going to have to fake it.

"No," Sasuke said, resentful. "Just stay out of this. It's my fight!"

Aiko made a fist and booped him on the head, complete with sound effect. Sasuke's eyes went wide and red in outrage. He choked.

Gaara flung himself at her, sandy claws reaching out. She pushed Sasuke to the side and moved towards Gaara, flanking. He saw her, but couldn't keep her from grabbing his wrist. She moved them.

She didn't consider the relocation, because it was just so obvious. Suna's great desert was the trashcan of the shinobi world. It was just a vast sea of scorching sand, bereft of anything useful or bystanders.

That sea of sand rose up and closed around her body like a glove, smothering into her mouth and nose.

Hiraishin saved her from being crushed. She touched down behind Gaara, the mistake she'd made flickering to light in her brain. Sand trickled out of her nose, but remained crusted in her eyelashes until she roughly rubbed it away with her fingers.

'Embarrassing.'

She dodged the next barrage with pure speed, but there was really nothing to do about the great waves other than hiraishin. Gaara wasn't turning to look at her- he didn't even have to. As soon as she touched the ground it recoiled and struck at her.

"This is tiresome."

Aiko rather agreed. And she was aiming to be a responsible adult, wasn't she? It was something to try.

"No," Aiko said firmly, trying to make eye contact with the wayward genin. The next attack was small enough for her to cut it aside with suijutsu. The sand slopped to the ground, a dark lump oozing over the otherwise graceful, unhindered environment. His jutsu was beautiful, actually.

Gaara snarled, teeth yellowed. His eyes didn't look entirely human, but at least he was conscious.

"Bad," she stressed. She thrust out three middling-sized chains and batted aside the next tendrils. "We need to have a talk, Gaara-kun."

A line formed in between his eyes.

She chose to think that was encouraging. If he was confused, that meant he was at least listening.

"I'm not afraid of you," Aiko told him, making certain her tone was calm and nonjudgmental. "And I won't hurt you, either. Please calm yourself."

His eyes rolled back and his body collapsed. He didn't hit the ground before the Ichibi burst out of his flesh and the sand around, rocketing to a size that blotted out the skyline.

"Good work," Sanbi said dryly. "Does anyone like being told to be calm?"

"Oh, shut up." Aiko puffed her cheeks out as the Ichibi let out a hyena laugh and fixed yellow eyes on her. It pounced. She scissored her chakra chains on it, easily getting it encircled.

Well. Sort of. The Ichibi kept moving, half of its body seeping through the bounds, but the laughter changed to an angry scream that hurt her teeth.

She tightened the chains, gritting her jaw. She had to dance out of the way of a grasping claw, but refused to move too far and lose control of her chains. She needed more- no, she lengthened the ones she had, forcing the tips to wrap around again and again, trying to catch all the bijuu's legs and secure the head. She caught the hind legs easily enough. She managed to snap the Ichibi's jaw shut, which did cut back on the noise. But the hands kept lengthening and bending, evading her attempts to secure them.

"He is most powerful in the desert." Sanbi sounded completely done with her idiocy.

Well. That made sense. Aiko flipped to the side and thought of the wide open sea- she didn't have anything decent off Suna's west coast, but she wouldn't approach Kirigakure with this bijuu. Resources forced her to choose the east coast, but she went as far south as she could manage, hoping that any waves would be redirected out into the open sea, below the elemental nations.

She was prepared. Aiko transitioned to expending the correct chakra expenditure instantly and landed on the choppy surface. The Ichibi's eye went wide in mild surprise as it plopped into the water. That was funny, until the abrupt downward motion exhausted the slack in her chains. Aiko hit her knees on the waves, body shuddering with the weight she was suddenly supporting. Her muscles burned. She tossed her head back and screamed from the strain, because she just didn't have another response to the way her bones were creaking with effort to hold all that weight.

The rapidly lessening weight, as it happened.

She tightened her chains around the bijuu she couldn't see, trying to contain without breaking Gaara's body at the center. The sand was falling away, the dry heat holding it together failing as the Ichibi's chakra faltered in control of the suboptimal material.

Her chains jarred against each other. She wasn't holding anything.

She wasn't holding-

Aiko took a breath and contorted to dive down, holding her eyes open and following to where her chains were coiling, confused serpents in the deep. The clouds of sand stung and blinded her- she couldn't see anything, she couldn't see Gaara, he was unconscious and even if he woke he wouldn't be able to see where the sun was, he was-

Sanbi burst through her skin and she had just enough presence of mind to balk. He pushed. She let him take control.

Her lungs were burning in the deep, her body was being compacted by the weight around. Her ears creaked uncomfortably, she was completely blind in the black depths.

Still down they went- her arms were powerful flippers cutting through the water and creating her own current. Her blunt nose bumped against something. She nosed it, trying to use her one eye to see if it was the human child- the dark didn't bother her, but the cloud of sand was bothersome. It must be. She stole one moment to luxuriate in the water on her back and the feeling of millions of small lives above and below in the warm places and dark alcoves and the great forests of kelp.

And then Aiko was back, head screaming in pain. She latched her arms around the body in front of her- it had to be Gaara, his skin was incongruously hot in the chill water. She moved them.

They slopped against the sand with a grotesque sound. Right, not Suna- she moved them to tea country. Aiko let go of Gaara and rolled to her side, coughing up water. It came and came, painful in her lungs. Oh, Gaara was on his back- She scrambled to turn him over and pounded on his thin back. He shuddered- and then began to cough, convulsing in the scraggly grass.

She patted his back, and then pushed up to a sitting position. Aiko tried to wipe off her face. It didn't do much, but wringing out her hair made her feel a little better.

Gaara was shaking, edging away from her like a cornered animal. She let him. She drew her knees up to her chin and watched him.

Her heart twisted.

Aiko tried to look nonthreatening. "I didn't realize you would sink like that," she said. She made an apologetic face, trying to get eye contact. He wouldn't look at anything but her hands, watching for an attack. "I'm sorry. I meant it when I said I wouldn't hurt you. I wanted to neutralize the Ichibi in a more controlled setting," she apologized. It seemed like a time for honesty. "I made a mistake by taking you to the desert- I'm sure that made it more difficult for you. I'm sorry."

His mouth worked. "I don't want to die," Gaara rasped. It sounded painful. He was frozen in place. "I don't want to-"

"You're not going to," Aiko soothed. She lifted up to her knees and held a hand out like she was offering her scent to a skittish animal. He watched without flinching away. So she ran it across his back and then leaned in to wrap him in a hug. Shaking, he let her. "Shh, shh. It's alright, Gaara." She pressed her lips against his forehead, something burning in her chest at the people who had made him this fearful. This so easily could have been Naruto. Could have been her, in another world. She kissed his hairline, missing the love kanji by just a few centimeters. "I understand."

Gradually, in bits and pieces, he relaxed. His spine lost stiffness. His head leaned into her. One hand crept up onto her back, like he was imitating something he'd seen once. When he realized she wouldn't stop him he flung both hands out, digging bony fingers into her skin so hard that his hands were shaking.

It hurt. She let him and kept the grimace off her face, because she didn't want him to feel it. She bent her neck enough to nose into his hair. She sunk to rest her weight on her bent legs and half-gathered the genin onto her lap. He was light enough that it didn't take much work to do.

She really hated Sunagakure. She thought about how easy it would be- how a great wave would wash through the city and bring down buildings, washing the ants along their twisting streets, breaking their bodies against stone and washing them out into the desert for the pleasure of the many poisonous beasts.

The Ichibi answered her anger, a comprehending roar that felt like a clasped hand. Gaara opened his teeth against her shoulder, shaking. He latched on.

"This child is broken," Sanbi said, because he was actually the sane one present. "Some beasts are too dangerous to raise, Aiko."

Oh. Aiko came back to the moment, murderous fantasy ended by pain and the resurgence of responsibility. She cut off the Sanbi's chakra, winding down the codependent twine of fury that she'd been feeding. "No teeth," she said, keeping any judgment out of her tone. Gaara didn't know any better- violence was the only way he'd learned to interact with the world. He certainly didn't know what to do when someone who should know better encouraged his bijuu to act up. He was just a little boy.

His jaws relaxed, but he didn't let go. It felt like he was waiting for her to lash out at him in disgust or fear.

But, like, she'd had a mean cat before. She wasn't going to freak out about pointy little teeth, because that was never an effective response. "That's not how we use mouths, Gaara. Mouths are for eating, screaming, and kissing," Aiko decided. She made her point by dotting another kiss into his hair, complete with sound effect. "Be gentle."

Gaara let go and turned his face against the wound he'd made. His little cheek was warm against the blood.

It might not have been entirely well-adjusted, but she'd allow it for now.

"You're like me," he said, in a tone of wonder. His grip tightened possessively. "How?"

She rubbed at his bony spine. "There are nine of us," Aiko said. "You've had a rough time of it, haven't you?" She didn't let out the sigh she wanted, exhausted for his sake. "Your seal isn't good. That's why you have such a hard time controlling yourself." She frowned. "That and you've been treated badly." It took some willpower not to tighten her grip too much. "It's not your fault," she said viciously. "You didn't do anything wrong."

He gave a broken little laugh devoid of humor.

"You're perfect," she disagreed. She gave into the urge to pull him entirely onto her lap and rocked him. He wasn't small enough to curve into her body naturally, but he melted into her as if he wanted to merge into her body. He was touch-starved. Poor baby.

She'd decided against it earlier. It was not going to make her any friends. It could fuck her over on a grand scale. But Aiko made the offer.

"I want to take you home with me. Do you want to come?"

Gaara twisted back to stare, wild-eyed.

"You can say no," she soothed. "I'll take you wherever you want to go. You can go to Suna. You can go to your siblings- they do love you," Aiko added, because it was only fair. She knew they could eventually have a good relationship.

He swallowed. He twisted his fingers in her shirt. "Why do you want me?"

God, she wasn't equipped to talk about feelings like this, but a child shouldn't ask that.

"Because you deserve to be loved," Aiko said firmly. "I'll take care of you if you let me. I can keep you safe and I can try to fix your seal. You don't have to join Kirigakure. You can leave whenever you want. You can be a civilian." She stroked his back, feeling awkward. "Whatever you want."

His breathing was ragged. "Are they afraid of you?" Gaara demanded. His nails were ragged, they snagged on her clothes. His little face was a thundercloud. "The normal people in Kirigakure."

Aiko grimaced, because it would be dumb to lie. "A little?" she admitted. "It depends on the person. But that's a fair response to me, because I entered the village by killing the Mizukage." She paused. "The previous Mizukage, I'm the current one."

He stared. "You're a kage." His tone was too flat to read much into. Might have been shock, or it could be disapproval.

"It was kind of a surprise," Aiko said. "But when a friend urged me to declare my intentions, the senior jounin supported my bid." Sort of. That was a more generous interpretation of events, but not an entirely inaccurate one. She chewed on her lip. "I was the only candidate, really," Aiko admitted. "There were two other people with enough power to do the job, but one of them was regarded with suspicion for spending a lot of time as a deserter. And for loosing his bijuu on the city," she added in the interest of fairness. Gaara perked up. "And the other, Terumi Mei- have you heard of her? - she was leading an opposition group against the previous regime, but lost public confidence after a mission to eliminate a threat went south."

"They made a jinchuuriki their kage?" Gaara sounded incredulous, and a bit scornful. "It's just because they're afraid of you."

Aiko considered it. "In large part, yes. It is." She fidgeted. "But I'm also doing my best to do right by them, and we've got a lot of interesting programs going on in order to improve quality of life in the country. They'll get used to me."

'Or they'll kill me. There's always that. It is Kirigakure, after all. It's a proud tradition at this point.'

"Are you collecting jinchuuriki?" Gaara demanded. "Is that why you want me to come with you?"

She cocked her head at him. "Should I be?" Aiko asked mildly. "We tend to have shitty lives, and there are dangers out there that you don't even know about yet. I think we should stick together, especially if our countries choose to pursue idiotic policies that aren't in our best interests. I'll still have your back even if you return to Suna, as long as you want me to."

He considered this. "Temari knew you were a jinchuuriki."

What? It took her a moment to remember what he was talking about. But he was right. Aiko felt a grudging respect at how damn fast his mind was.

"You were in Sunagakure." Gaara sounded furious. "Why?"

She… wasn't following his train of thought. Why would that make him mad?

Aiko couldn't think of a reason not to respond with the truth. "I was fighting the three-tailed bijuu in the desert." She fidgeted her foot. "I suppose it's my habit to take my most dangerous opponents here. No bystanders and all."

He leaned back enough to give her an incredulous expression.

"It's convenient," Aiko defended. "You've seen my transportation technique. It makes sense."

Why did she feel so judged by a 13-year old?

"Perhaps it is because you fear his wisdom surpasses your own."

She very maturely did not tell either of them to shut their cake holes, but she did have a good idea that was tangentially related. It maybe wasn't very mature of her, but it was appealing. "I want cake for dinner. And coffee."

Gaara stared.

"If you come home with me you'll find out anyway," Aiko dismissed. "I just realized I want cake. I'm going to deserve it after the rest of the things I have to do." She leaned forward, encouraging him to move off her lap so she could stand. He was reluctant, so Aiko ended up hauling him with her. Gaara was more compliant when he realized she wasn't moving away from him, which almost made her feel guilty. "I'm not taking you back to the conflict in Konoha, sorry." She patted his head. Wow, his hair needed a good conditioner. He allowed the petting in what seemed like a state of mild shock. "You can go to Sunagakure or you can go wait at my house, but I'm not leaving you unsupervised in a war zone. Where are you going, kiddo?"

"What are you going to do?" He somehow made the question an accusation.

Aiko grimaced. She started running a hand over her sides, checking her equipment was in place and that water hadn't damaged anything. "Hopefully make sure that Orochimaru gets crushed into the dirt. And then try to trick the Hokage into giving me nice things." Kunai, check, ugh that storage seal with her hairpins in it might be salvageable? - oh, thank god, the waterproof case had protected the scroll with her new copies of Icha Icha in it. Thank god.

"Well, everything is alright, then," Sanbi said, voice absolutely poisonous. "You have your novels. We may die at peace."

Gaara's glower drew her attention back. "I don't follow."

Jeeze, eventually she was going to have to start taking that tone personally. Aiko sighed, mussing her hair. "Politics, kid." She sighed. "I'm not great at them but I've gotta try."

He looked completely unimpressed, and Aiko gave up. She really needed to get moving. "One last time, Gaara." She made her tone stern, but she was still petting his hair. "Where do you want to go?"

~~~

She returned to Konoha as quickly as she could, not doing more than tucking Gaara in a safe corner and making sure he had a snack before using hiraishin to return to the forest of death. From there, it took a few moments to decide where to go. She wanted to go check on her students, but… it really was more practical to try to endear herself to the Hokage.

So she glanced around, and found the biggest, baddest chakra expenditure going on at what appeared to be snake-y ground zero. Orochimaru's summons were causing plenty of damage, and he was at the epicenter. She ran past several fights with minimal guilt and went towards the higher ground, where the drama must be going down. They'd all be ok. Probably.

"They will certainly not be," Sanbi said, disapproving.

Aiko rolled her eyes and finished scaling the building, landing quietly at the far edge from the fighting. Her genin all had hiraishin anyway. If things were desperate, they could call on her.

'Are you saying you think I should go help them, instead of working towards my goals?'

Aiko immediately noticed that the barrier keeping the Hokage and the Snake Sannin isolated was powered by enough energy to heat the surrounding air and waft the stench of burning matter. That was interesting- the four Oto-nin supporting it from the inside must be formidable. And Orochimaru's trust in them was demonstrably strong- he expected them to hold the technique for as long as it took him to kill the Hokage. Why hadn't the Hokage attacked them? That should break the seal, right?

She didn't notice any sign that Orochimaru or the Hokage had noted her arrival, but they probably had.

"I don't care what you do," Sanbi said. "It is your persistence in dishonesty to which I object. To what purpose do you deceive yourself?"

An ANBU she didn't recognize turned his mask towards her, chakra flaring in hostile warning.

Aiko carefully splayed her hands at her side, just enough to show they were empty. Then she deliberately broke eye contact to examine the seal work in further detail. It was lit up, practically glowing in a way that made it possible, if not easy, to pick out some of the notations refracted along the domed edges. It was just a physical barrier, really, that contained the combatants in what appeared to be a dome, but must be an orb extending underground. That was all well and good, as long as you weren't dealing with anyone who could move themselves to another point by bypassing it. So. Her and Obito, really.

'It's powerful, but not worth learning, I think. Not for me, anyway.'

She'd never seen this fuuinjutsu, and she hadn't heard much about it either. The chuunin exams had been a particularly bad time in her life, in between Sakura's death and the encounter with Itachi not long after.

'I don't see Jiraiya anywhere.'

Unease stirred, but she brushed off the worry and made her way towards the ANBU maintaining a cordon around the area. Most were uniformed, but she made eye contact with Kakashi. His face was as hard as she'd ever seen, and he didn't disguise the displeased wariness at her approach. Aiko had the distinct impression that he was ready to kill her if she made a wrong move.

'Right. Mist-nin. Nobody trusts 'em.'

"This group would do more good combating the summons, don't you think?" she said in an undertone, not quite willing to draw much attention.

No one bothered to answer her.

Orochimaru was doing something, flashing through an ostentatious sequence of handsigns. His voice was muffled through the barrier in a way that distorted it, elongating vowels and eating up his quieter words.

It didn't look like the fight was going well for the Hokage, to be honest. She didn't remember hearing that he'd sustained serious injuries in this fight before Jiraiya intervened. Where was he?

'Maybe he's not here?'

Aiko closed her eyes against a sudden headache, because of course. Why was she still assuming that minor variables would play out the same way they had last time? She'd done something or not done something that had somehow lead to Jiraiya fighting elsewhere in the village, or maybe not even being present. Fuck, for all she knew he'd left the day he'd been done with Naruto's training.

That sounded exactly like Jiraiya, actually. Yeah. That's what he'd done.

"Is there a reason that no one is working to take down the seal barrier?"

When no one moved to respond, Aiko nearly elbowed Kakashi before remembering they didn't have that kind of relationship. She cleared her throat. "Hatake-san?"

A muscle jumped in his jaw. He didn't look away from the fight. "We've tried unsuccessfully. The Hokage ordered us to stop. He prefers Orochimaru be contained."

There was some logic to that. But..

She eyed the contestants. "The Hokage might not win. Orochimaru has had a long time to counter his teacher's repertoire and plan this confrontation." Somewhat diplomatically, she decided to leave off the more truthful, 'plus the Sandaime is older than dirt.'

There was a creak of leather. Her heart jumped, recognizing it as the sound of his gloves protesting the excessive force pushing them into fists.

'Okay then.'

She could… Was there any point to being here?

No, that was the wrong train of thought. What would happen if the Sandaime lost? She fought her knee-jerk reaction of now-misplaced loyalty -protect the Hokage, as a symbol if nothing else!- and considered Mist's benefit.

'If the Sandaime dies, his replacement is likely to be Tsunade. She's not as sympathetic to outsiders as he is. And how long would it take to convince her to take the job? The Council would be in charge in the meantime. Danzo, Utatane, Koharu… They'll probably still choose to ally with Mist rather than Sand as long as Sand is defanged, but they'll drive a hard bargain. And they're probably not going to be very forgiving about the fact that the Mizukage is in their country under false pretenses- the Sandaime might pretend to believe the polite fiction that I was instated after the Chuunin exams and so wasn't breaking any treaties. Danzo will cackle backwards into hell if he realizes he could litigate the Mizukage for trespassing, and I don't want to give him the satisfaction.'

So. It was in Mist's best interests for the Sandaime to survive. She could feel free to interfere, from a cost-benefits perspective.

Still, she wasn't exactly eager to face Orochimaru. Aiko bit her lip and narrowed her eyes in concentration. She held back, watching the smooth play of his muscles as he pushed the Hokage onto the defensive in taijutsu. She was damn good, but she didn't want to fight him that way. He was physically strong, but he was also fast and inhumanly flexible. She couldn't be certain enough that she would win that way.

'I'm faster than he is, but not so much faster that he can't hit me. He's clever. I have more chakra, and I have access to powerful techniques through the Rinnegan. But I would have to use the Rinnegan to face him for certain. The seal is reflecting sunlight back out- that means it's filtering. Inside that dome, it's darker. I can't afford anything less than 20/20 to face a Sannin.'

That was unfortunate. She didn't like making that public.

'But it could work psychologically in my favor for the fight, anyway. He worked for Akatsuki- he's met Pein. And he lost in a fight to Itachi: Orochimaru is definitely a lot weaker than Pein. The Rinnegan will probably freak him out.'

That thought was… oddly cheering, actually. She didn't stack up too badly against Pein, as long as he was surprised. So she was probably stronger than Orochimaru if you believed in that transitive property? But he was… he was just so slippery, in addition to being vastly more experienced than she was. Brute strength didn't guarantee victory against an opponent like that. She couldn't count that she would be able to kill him.

Could she live with that? Compromise by lowering her aim to driving him off, but letting him live with potentially harmful information about her abilities?

'I'm going to have to,' Aiko noted grimly. 'I don't know what he's doing now, but he looks smug about it. He's sure he's going to win.'

Fine. She'd need to misdirect him. Let him come to the wrong conclusions and conceal her abilities as much as possible.

She hovered a moment, long enough for- were those blurry shapes coffins? Orochimaru was summoning coffins? What was the point-

"Oh, fuck no," Aiko spat, ignoring the startled reactions from tense, tragically unhappy Konoha nin nearby as two of the three coffins cracked. They were marked with numbers- 1, 2, and 4. The first shinobi to come out was a shock, the second reinforced the depths of Orochimaru's depravity, but that last coffin-

That was her dad! It wasn't open but it had to be, oh god. That was- Orochimaru had-

had failed to resurrect him? Minato wasn't coming out of the last coffin- Orochimaru was gritting his teeth and pretending not to care. But the other Hokage were moving, iconic silhouettes that clashed with the initially rough movements they made stepping out of the coffins. Were they aware? They seemed to lack the control to so much as turn their heads. If it were her reincarnated in Konoha and being used as a puppet, she would wonder what was going on. So, like. They were probably minimally cognizant.

She should probably do something.

'At the very least, I should steal his thunder. He's about to say something really dramatic, I just know it. I would if I were him and he's at least as dramatic as me.'

Aiko flicked open her kunai pouch to drop one on the ground- and then quickly changed her mind. She had to use hiraishin to get in, but kunai were Minato's trademark. She didn't want to risk Orochimaru making a correct inference about her abilities.

The seals she had on her genin team were distant and troublesomely close together instead of in a neat triangle, so it took a moment of teeth-gritted concentration to correctly orient herself inside the barrier. She chose to stand in between the Sandaime and Orochimaru for maximum drama, casually pretending to examine her nails. Yeah, it was darker than she'd hoped.

"What?" An ANBU half-shouted. There was something she could only describe as a ringing in the air- like tapped glass. What was that- it wasn't a sound, it was chakra. Had she fucked up one of Orochimaru's jutsus? The barrier was a seal, it was entirely possible that her fuinjutsu had interfered with it in some way. So…. the barrier wasn't just to keep the fights separate or to be dramatic- Orochimaru had needed a carefully modulated environment for his jutsu. Sterile, in a way.

Belatedly, she realized something about the voices she was hearing outside the barrier.

Huh.

'The seal muffles only in one direction. I can hear them just fine.'

Well. Orochimaru probably hadn't wanted to miss any possible plotting going on outside the barrier, Aiko reasoned. She stuck her hands in her pockets to hide the nervous twitch they wanted to make towards the sword on her back. "Yo." She nodded towards the Sandaime. "Nice weather we're having."

'It's not that dark but I should turn on the Rinnegan no I should wait, that's my best intimidation tactic I need to wait-'

There was enough light to see that the three Hokage and Orochimaru were staring at her with what she supposed must be varying degrees of shock. She wondered what Kakashi was thinking. She didn't dare turn to look. She blinked slowly, which probably looked like sleepiness when it was more like an attempt to adjust to the lighting change.

'The Nidaime is definitely looking at me- that's inconsistent with what I noted earlier. That's what went wrong- I did something to Orochimaru's control of the Hokage. So that means there was multiple techniques at work- the revivification, and fuinjutsu-based control, probably? At least.'

When Orochimaru broke the silence, he was quiet and considered with the barest hint of a hiss under the civil tones. "How, I wonder, did you do such a thing?"

His voice felt like a ribbon sliding over her spine, towards her neck. Aiko shrugged and tried not to think about garrotes. "Is that inconceivable?" she asked, channeling Kakashi at his most irritating faux-boredom. She managed a pitying smile. "Your seals are… well, they're alright. Nothing to write home about."

'I could figure them out. Probably. If I had a month and nothing better to do. And collaboration with Jiraiya.'

The Snake Sannin was fast on the uptake, drawing an obvious connection between fuinjutsu and bijuu and Uzumaki. "I suppose you're to thank for the sudden disappearance of one of my tools. You killed the one-tailed jinchuuriki, didn't you?"

'Oh, no. Hands off my baby, I claimed that one. Holy shit, deflect, deflect I need to throw him off-'

She didn't know what she was going to do until she did it. Aiko patted the sealing scroll fastened against her right thigh, which carried a rather unsubtle implication. "You know, they used to keep that one in a teapot?" She managed to bare her teeth- it wasn't a grin, but that hopefully wouldn't ring any bells as she desperately spun a web of bullshit. "Yet another point goes to me, who remains better than everyone else everywhere. Does being inadequate ever make you sad?" She managed a real grin that time, because she was pretty fucking great.

"You could bluff," Sanbi suggested. "frighten him, and let him take the scroll in a scuffle. If he thinks he has a valuable prize, he will be less reluctant to cut his losses on this venture."

Unacceptable.

'No. Absolutely not, fuck you, fuck that, fuck him. Orochimaru can't have my porn.'

Sanbi sighed.

From the direction of his pale, pale face, Aiko thought Orochimaru was looking at the scroll that did not actually have any bijuu in it. Before he could say anything else, he was interrupted.

The first Hokage had a boyish laugh, light and easy. "You must be an Uzumaki," he declared fondly. "Am I right?"

Aiko considered him for a moment, and then managed a short nod.

Then he noticed her headband. He managed to look puzzled in her blurry vision, mouth opening in a question she really didn't want to be the one to answer- and then Orochimaru seemed to strengthen his grip on the Hokage, long fingers twitching. The first Hokage's mouth clicked shut. He gave Orochimaru a resentful stare.

'Well, at least that saved me from having to open the whole 'UZUSHIOGAKURE IS A SMOKING HOLE IN THE GROUND' topic.'

"I wonder…" Orochimaru trailed off. And the Nidaime leapt at her, electric chakra sparking on a short blade that he held across his body. He slashed, but she was kicking off against the dome several feet away. He pivoted instantly, orienting towards- what? Her scent? Was he sensing her chakra? Or was it the fact that she was still in Orochimaru's range of vision? On her next dodge, Aiko tested the hypothesis by moving out of Orochimaru's vision. She was close enough to one of the sound nin to hear his surprised grunt.

And-yes. Tobirama turned towards her quickly enough for an S-class nin with reflexes of storied speed, but she thought the move lacked the preternatural immediacy of his earlier maneuver.

'He used the Hiraishin before dad did,' Aiko remembered. 'Tobirama might actually be as fast as I am, if Orochimaru can make him use it. He certainly has the reflexes that it encourages.'

She couldn't be blatant about using the hiraishin- if anyone recognized it in a different form from Minato's, it would be Senju Tobirama.

'That's fine. They know I'm an Uzumaki. So this technique-'

Aiko turned midair to watch the Hokage hurtling towards her instead of looking to her next landing. His eyes widened in comprehension too early for her tastes- and he twisted to kick away from her chakra chains against the chains themselves, managing to evade the grab she made at his left ankle. And just like that, they'd changed roles. Aiko whipped to the side, helping her chains chase after him and-

'Incoming!'

Shit, she couldn't dodge one Hokage and chase another! But she didn't have to. Something intercepted the first Hokage midair, batting him away. She didn't have time to wonder what the Sandaime had done- it had to have been him, though.

Tobirama had managed to move far enough away to buy time to flash through handsigns she didn't know and come at her again despite the chains. No- not despite, he was aiming for-

Aiko dissolved her weapon hastily, heart pounding. She had no idea what he was going to do, but she suspected she didn't want it to happen. He was a seal master too, wasn't he?

He shook off his jutsu quickly enough that he might have predicted her response, and now she had no time to dodge the sword he was bringing down at her head. Aiko edged her feet apart and whipped her sword up barely before he brought down his blade. It clashed, hitting at an angle that made her teeth ache and her arms held for a moment but he had the better position and she couldn't hold, she couldn't hold-

'He's too strong.'

She turned her blade and let his force help speed the twist and roll of her body, darting past and behind him. He lead with his blade as he turned, making a horizontal swipe.

It came close enough to biting through her forehead that Aiko felt a thrill of fear like nothing she'd had before. She'd never- a fight like this was-

She hiraishined to his other side, by his right leg where the back of his head was now facing, solely because that was out of the natural dodging direction she'd had before. He'd need a moment to re-orient. She didn't give it to him- she didn't have time to summon a more damaging jutsu.

So Aiko only made a desperate lunge with her sword to savage his leg. Her angle was bad- it slid in the back of his right thigh to the bone, but the far tip reached just a bit too far and glanced off the armor protecting the back of his left knee. She twisted and kicked, meaning to swipe his legs out from under him and tumble him to the dirt. It should have been easy- he should have been disabled and unstable from her blow. She knocked him off-balance, it was true, but he jumped up and over her kick instead of falling. And-

pain. She controlled her fall, hurriedly flinging her blade away because the way she was falling it was going to impale her and she couldn't change her hold fast enough.

She skidded against the ground, kicking up dust. Tobirama was coming at her again with one arm out as if he'd just thrown something, and holy shit, what was this man made of that he didn't feel pain-

He stopped midair, caught on chakra strings she couldn't see. She considered being ill, but she couldn't take her eye off the weapon to see what was Sasori doing. Would the next blow come from the side or-

Orochimaru gave an evaluative hum.

Right.

Orochimaru.

Not Sasori. Not puppets. Not really.

Aiko swallowed. She flipped her bangs out of her face. She tried to look impassive as she straightened to a normal standing position and glanced over at the snake sannin. He was standing with crossed arms, the fingers of his right hand against his lips. Something moved in his throat.

Her right hip was aching. Cracked- it had to be cracked from the force of the puppet's- of Tobirama's hit- and how had he done that? She hadn't seen.

'Well. He is a kage. They tend not to fuck around.'

Actually. She was a kage too, wasn't she?

'We. We tend not to fuck around. I am also a bad ass. I can do this. I don't need to panic.'

She stood a little straighter.

"Well." Orochimaru sighed heavily. "How embarrassing."

There was an awkward quiet. Aiko risked a glance around the dome and wondered what the hell had happened in the last four seconds. Five seconds ago, things had been good. Or okay, maybe. Funny how it all changes so fast.

The Sandaime wasn't about to answer, posture cautious and muscles trembling with the force needed to hold back the first Hokage. Well. He'd had a long time to get used to Orochimaru. He probably knew as well as she did that it was a verbal trap of some sort.

There was no way to answer that that wouldn't make her look like an idiot when Orochimaru finished his statement, was there? She remained stubbornly silent for a moment before she remembered that she actually didn't have a reason, besides pride, to try to seem cooler than Orochimaru. She unstuck her jaw and took the bait. "What is?"

His eyes glinted. "I don't even know your name, Mizukage-sama. I'm terribly sorry."

'Okay, how did he-'

The Sandaime Hokage bit out, "What is this foolishness? Uzumaki-san isn't even from Kirigakure."

Aiko rolled her eyes and tapped at her headband. No one paid the least bit of attention.

Orochimaru gave the old man a pitying look. "You poor old fool. I'd heard that the new kage was a woman and a seal master…" He inspected her. "I must admit, I expected Terumi-san simply had abilities I had not heard of, rather than the existence of a new party. As I said, how embarrassing. No wonder my letters have gone unanswered. It is rather rude to address them to the wrong person."

"Yes, that's the reason," Aiko said dryly. "My feelings are hurt."

'He didn't actually send letters. Right? That's just banter? Because otherwise someone was keeping important information from me.'

She… wasn't actually sure. Orochimaru was a complicated person. He might have thought it would be beneficial. Or maybe just that it would be funny. S-class shinobi tended to be strange.

"Pity." Orochimaru tilted his head, letting silken hair fall to the side. "You need not align your lot with this dying village. Konoha has never been a friend of Kirigakure. I am certain that our differences need not impede a mutually beneficial arrangement."

Aiko rolled her eyes, because she wasn't stupid enough to ally with Orochimaru, especially after she'd gotten in his way. He wasn't famed for his forgiving heart. When she opened her eyes, they were Rinnegan.

It was completely satisfying to see the way Orochimaru went still in her perfect vision.

That caution was an overreaction, really. Obito had taught her quite a few good-utility B and A level jutsu, but nothing she'd turn against a sannin outside a spar. She could summon powerful animals that she could not control, call for the powerful burning chakra of Susanoo that would roast the Sandaime alive with a distressing amount of witnesses if she tried the technique in this confined space, or summon the death god to revive someone, how useful in a fight-

Wait.

She wouldn't have had the thought if she hadn't been facing revived souls. But.

'Does the death god take souls too?'

…She had no idea. But Orochimaru probably didn't either.

Aiko gave the surroundings a pointed look. "It's hard to deny that you're a great and loyal friend to have, as I stand here in your hometown. But if I may respectfully offer an alternate proposal: you can go straight to hell. Now, I think."

'Oh my god, I sound like a cartoon villain. Give up, hero, I've come for your girlfriend. All shall weep and despair.'

"What?" the Sandaime muttered, but she was whipping through handsigns and slamming her palms into the ground. Orochimaru's face was bloodless, pale with fury and just enough uncertainty for her to work with.

The god of death blossomed from the ground, pushing his way up until his head brushed the dome. One of the Oto-nin screamed- it might have been fright, but from the bright sparks dancing along the domed seal to his hands, Aiko thought it was pain. There was a ruckus outside from the gathered observers.

'I really hope this works.'

She turned her gaze towards Orochimaru. Their eyes met- he was terrified. Aiko felt a genuine thrill at the power she had over such a man, even if it was contingent on a guess and superstition. "Kami-sama," she began. "I want you to-"

Orochimaru flung a blade into the back of his closest bodyguard and leapt out the resulting opening in the seal. The two dead Hokage fell without his support, clay faces cracking even as the second Hokage started to say something undoubtedly mocking to Orochimaru's fleeing back.

Kakashi immediately bounced after the traitor, followed by four ANBU. The others spilled into the dome. Two of the remaining sound-nin were dead before they had a chance to disengage from the jutsu. The last snarled in the face of the man who killed her before she fell.

"Oh, thank god," Aiko muttered. She slumped. She'd really been hoping he wouldn't stick around to call her bluff.

"Yes?" The god of death prompted, tone as even as ever.

She glanced around in a quick survey- the Sandaime was alive and mostly uninjured, the other Hokage were properly dead again, and she wasn't going to spend precious chakra to try to raise any theoretical Konoha dead she didn't see without prompting. "Nothing. Just wanted to say hi. You can go now." She waved him off with a deep bow.

There was a sense of a glower. She couldn't help but notice that his right arm twitched toward her -And that it was nearly freed from the ground: she could see his wrist.

'When I first summoned him, he only appeared up to his neck,' Aiko remembered. 'I… I should definitely stop summoning him. I don't think I want to know why he's coming up further every time, or what would happen if his hands were free.'

The Sandaime cleared his throat and waved off the medic nin who was trying to do something about the bleeding on his chest. "Well. The weather's not terrible, but I prefer some cloud cover."

"What?"

He lifted one eyebrow, patiently waiting for comprehension from the slow youngling.

Aiko blinked and waited for the world to make sense.

Then she remembered. Oh. Right. The only thing she'd said to him had been some smart-assed comment about the weather, hadn't it been?

'It's only been a couple of minutes since I came into the seal barrier,' Aiko realized. And the death god wasn't leaving. Why wasn't he leaving? He'd never lingered before.

She snorted, shaking her head slightly. "Think it's going to rain? I might have to borrow an umbrella."

The Sandaime eyed her up. "I think you might have to borrow a hospital room. Tobirama-sensei broke something when he took that scroll."

What.

She glanced down, dreading what she was going to see. Ah. That… explained some things. The scroll with her new Icha Icha in it was gone. Orochimaru- he'd eaten it when she'd looked away, hadn't he?

Ugh. She was never going to get to read that damn book, was she? Fuck- first sand, now Orochimaru. What was wrong with these people? "Why don't I get to have nice things?" she asked the world at large. "I'm a good person."

Sanbi snorted.

"Fuck you!"

That was when her leg buckled under, taking her down with it. Her knee hit the roof and pain spiked up, white-hot.

She would have liked to wallow in self-pity. But the god spoke up in a voice that shook her bones because he was inconsiderate like that.

"That person who stole souls from my realm," the death god began contemplatively. He paused. "Kill him, and discover by what means he has perpetuated these crimes."

Aiko balked.

'He's talking? He talks? And he gives orders. This is new and horrible. I do not feel confident enough to tell him to fuck off.'

Sanbi hissed, "Do not tell a god to fuck off!"

'I wasn't going to!'

Aiko swallowed. "We might learn something by looking at the corpse that he failed to revive?" she tried, because she really did not want to have to hunt down Orochimaru. There were risks worth taking, and then there was being a stupid jackass. Trying to corner Orochimaru felt like a sharp detour into dumbassery. "Try that?"

The death god cast a baleful eye over at the closed coffin. "What mortal is it?"

She struggled back to her feet, ignoring the hand that the Sandaime offered. Aiko staggered over to the coffin and resentfully stared at the kanji on the outside. She'd been too panicked to fully consider it earlier, but… "Either the yondaime Hokage or the yondaime Kazekage." Both were possible. One would have been readily available, the other a psychological coup. She had her suspicions as to which Orochimaru would have chosen. But she would prefer not to find out.

"Open it."

There was absolutely no room for disagreement in that tone, so Aiko steeled herself. She braced her weight on the side of the coffin with her left and tried to force the lid open with her free hand.

It didn't move, but there were outraged protests from the peanut gallery that she duly ignored.

She heaved again. It creaked a little, which was encouraging.

"Would you like some help with that?" the Sandaime asked, sounding uncertain.

Aiko waved him off, frowning. "No, I can get this." She gave one last heave and then gave up on that. She shifted to lean her good hip against the coffin to free up her hand and then called up Sen Tsurara. She then proceeded to smash into the coffin's lid, skimming across in a way that destroyed the lock and a lot of the bulk of the door before her jutsu fizzled out. With a grunt, Aiko levered the splintered mess open. She peered past the mess. Her head was curiously empty.

"Yondaime Hokage," she reported. God… Just, fuck.

He was taller than she remembered, alien stiffness in features that had been reconstructed from clay or… something. How had Orochimaru done that? Make a facsimile, certainly. But how had it been infused with enough of Minato's essence to theoretically be capable of his jutsu, to use his chakra, to contain his being? What had gone wrong with this one that had worked with the other two hokage?

"Touch it."

She hesitated at that. It felt ghoulish. It wasn't her father's corpse but it was, it really was.

"Uzumaki."

Aiko jerked to obey, poking her index finger against Minato's nose. At the instant that she touched the cold face, Sanbi leapt to awareness. "No!" he howled.

If he said anything else, she couldn't hear it over the roaring in her ears and the energy flooding out of her. Her world lit up in red and it burnt- that wasn't the death god's work, that was Sanbi? Sanbi was forcing his chakra through her much more violently than he had in the water. Aiko screamed, body frozen into place. She couldn't move, she couldn't stop it, she was just a conduit for the electricity passing through and scorching her skin on the way out.

It stopped. She latched on to the splintered mess she'd made of the coffin. Her fingers were bleeding for some reason. Aiko panted and trembled. Her legs wanted to give out.

Someone cleared their throat. Right in front of her. Aiko looked up and disbelievingly made eye contact. With her dad. Her dad. Right there. Being all dadly and stuff.

Minato looked really and truly confused.

The death god spoke up, irritated. "You there, mortal. Has this Orochimaru risen you from my realm before? Tell me of his process."

Minato blinked. "Uh. Hello." His brow furrowed. "K-kami-sama?" He tried to bow in the confined space. "Um. Ah. No, sorry, I don't know anything about this. I was just doing-" his eyes darted to the death god and then respectfully away- "things that dead people do, and then I was here. The last time I was in the mortal world was the day I died." He fidgeted. "Obviously, I mean, that's how it works. You're only in the mortal world if you're alive, and I was definitely not ali-"

"Minato-san," Aiko interrupted, feeling just a bit hysterical.

He focused on her. "Aiko-chan?"

What.

His tone lilted up a little in hope, like he thought she was going to give him an explanation. But that one word had just fucked up so much for her that she did not want to help him. At all.

'If I was never born here, why does he know me? Why is everything terrible, why does nothing make sense?'

Every fiber of her being absolutely revolted against contemplating this. It only lead to madness. "Minato-san," she said again, trying desperately to establish distance and a foothold on a world that had made sense. He nodded. "Please shut the fuck up."

He made an offended sound.

The ground shook. Aiko and Minato both jerked to stare at the god, who was intensely displeased. His enormous mouth was a flat line.

Aiko felt her spine straighten. She was holding her breath.

There was a boom that shook the building they were standing on. Silently, resentfully, the god gave her one last meaningful look- and then he was gone.

She swallowed.

Minato took the moment to stare out around the area, clearly dazed and disoriented by all the damage and fighting visible in the distance. Someone was crying not too far away, the kind of contained little gasps that would shake your shoulders but not lead to tears. Probably all the dead people walking around were a bit traumatizing for career soldiers. She'd found it creepier at some point, hadn't she? She vaguely remembered that horror about the unnatural, though she felt distant from it. Aiko scanned the crowd, but couldn't pick out who it was.

The Sandaime was bending to murmur something to a group of four ANBU. One peeled off at high speed in the direction that Orochimaru had gone- the other three split and began talking to the jounin milling around. Gai had shown up at some point, as well as a passel of other senior shinobi. Yamanaka Inoichi was giving Aiko a deeply unimpressed look, arms crossed with such force that his fingers were white.

Minato cleared his throat.

She turned to look at him.

He raised an eyebrow.

Feeling incredibly old and tired, Aiko lifted one shoulder and gave her best 'fuck if I know' expression.

He seemed to get her meaning. Minato sighed. "I know what you mean." He rubbed at his temple, inadvertently making a mess of his hair. "So, ah. Am I just… not dead anymore? Is that what's happening now?"

"Apparently," Sanbi said, in a tone that was absolutely acid. "Feel free to cut off the obscene chakra drain of your eyes at any time. Regrettably, my earlier impulse was to keep you alive. I have never met such a waste of chakra as you, you insolent ridiculous little dirt person."

Oh. That's what had happened. The god had used her to raise Minato… Yeah. She definitely did not have enough chakra for that.

Her chest felt tight. 'I knew you were warming up to me. You saved my ass twice today. That's statistically significant.'

"Hardly," Sanbi grumped. "Had I contemplated it, I assure you that I would have chosen the oblivion of a hundred years of unconsciousness and an ignominious reentry to the world over being trapped in your foolish skin."

"Aiko-chan?" Minato frowned slightly. He rubbed at his face. "Ah. You've got a little something…"

She gave him an ugly look, because obviously she knew. She didn't bother to swipe at the blood under her eyes.

He showed her his palms. "I was just saying." He fidgeted. "So…"

Aiko watched him struggle for words, and her irritation melted into exhaustion. He looked so young. He wasn't much older than she was- he'd died at 28. Holy shit, he was only two years older than this version of Kakashi.

That thought led to an unpleasant realization.

'Oh my god, no. Kakashi is going to come back. I cannot deal with how he's going to react to this. I need to leave. I need to get out of here.'

The Sandaime took a few steps closer, cautious but clearly hopeful. He was keeping his body between Minato and the jounin. He wore a pleasant expression. "Minato-san," he greeted.

Minato bowed back, smiling faintly. "Sandaime-sama," he responded. "It is truly a pleasure to see you again."

"Dear boy, the pleasure is all mine." He was clearly watching for Minato's body language to shift into aggression, but he didn't look tense at all. He glanced over at Aiko, probably feeling her stare. His mouth was upturned, and the wrinkles around his eyes bent the right way. But his eyes were cold.

She offered a weak smile.

"Minato-san, do you know Uzumaki-san?" The Sandaime nodded to her. "You seem quite familiar with each other."

Minato was very, very still. He slowly turned his head to look at Aiko, at the Sandaime, at the crowd. She could almost see the wheels turning. "Yes," he said slowly. "You don-" he cut himself off, and gave a sheepish smile, eyes squeezed closed. "She was much younger when I last saw her, that's for sure."

'Either 14 or less than a day, depending on how you count the chronology,' Aiko thought. She tried to catch her dad's gaze, but he wasn't looking at her. 'At least he hasn't said anything disastrous. He has some discretion. And implying he knew me as a small child can kind of excuse the inappropriate honorific. Because otherwise the obvious explanation is an affair, and that's too gross to contemplate.'

"So true, Minato-san.." She cleared her throat and gave her dad the sunniest smile she could muster. "It was lovely seeing you, we should do this again sometime." Blood was sticking her collar to her skin. "But you know, it's getting late, and I've got a bit of a walk home. I should really be going." She gave a perfunctory little bow, trying to back away.

"To Kirigakure?" Minato asked, sounding pained. "When did that happen? Wait." He shook his head and stepped out of the coffin, giving it an unsettled glance on the way. "I have a more relevant question. You're not a Konoha ninja." It was half a question. It was a fair question, from his perspective. Incredibly reasonable.

"Well-spotted," Aiko bit out, as if it was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. She tried to infuse as much scorn as humanly possible into the word so that no one contemplated that too deeply.

Minato just nodded, brow furrowing. "Yes. That's- well." He shook his head. "Then what are you doing here?" He straightened officiously. "I'm going to need to interview you about your intentions before you leave."

Aiko gaped. She just stared, mouth open. The fuck. What the fuck. "You're-" she struggled for words. "I am here legally-" wait, no. "I- I was so helpful-" mostly? Yeah, she'd been fairly helpful. "You asshole," she hissed. That one she could fully commit to.

He rubbed at the back of his neck. "That's probably all true," Minato said, in an incredibly doubtful tone. Because he was an asshole. "But I couldn't help but notice that the situation is strange. And high-level shinobi in Konohagakure are a matter for concern."

"Is this person a danger, Minato-san?" the Sandaime asked sharply.

Her traitorous dad gave a sad little shrug. "If she wants to be?" he tried. He looked a bit guilty. "I mean no offense, Aiko-san. You are a good person and an exemplary shinobi. I have nothing but respect for you."

'It does not feel that way. It feels like you're fucking with me. Everyone is fucking with me.'

The Sandaime made a sound of comprehension. "An exemplary shinobi who is working for Kirigakure," he completed dryly. "I see." He seemed to stare right through Aiko. "If my wayward student was correct, you are in fact the Godaime Mizukage."

"What." Minato sounded bluntly shocked, and like a bit of an idiot, to be honest.

"I was about to say that he says that the way you do when you have been taken by surprise," Sanbi commented, pleased.

Aiko gave her dad the shittiest look she could manage, because she hated everyone and everything at the moment.

'Just. Just fucking say something, asshole. I'm begging you.'

"Are you speaking to me?"

'Him, you idiot. Any. All.'

Minato groaned. He closed his eyes. "Probably," he said without looking at either of them. "You probably are the Mizukage. I don't know why I didn't predict that. That's the most predictable thing you could do."

"There was no way you could have predicted that," Aiko shot back, oddly offended. She crossed her arms, feeling she'd lost the plot entirely. "And this is bullshit that I don't have to deal with." She bared her teeth- a wasted gesture, with Minato's eyes still closed. "Do you think that you'll really be able to keep me here if I don't want to be?"

The Sandaime made a sound that might have been a laugh. It might also have been a sob.

Minato put a hand on his face. "Probably not," he admitted. It sounded exceptionally stupid with his palm pressed against his lips. He cracked one eye open. "But I think that you need Konohagakure, or you wouldn't be here. And you like me reasonably well." He made a face. "This isn't fair at all. The last time we met, you were upset with me for not taking you seriously. And now you're angry that I'm acknowledging you?"

"He has a good point." Sanbi sounded too cheerful about that. "I like this human. He upsets you. Who is he?"

Aiko wanted to stomp her foot. She wanted to scream. She wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Uzumaki-san?" the Sandaime prompted. "Will you please join us for a few questions, after this situation has been resolved?"

She shrieked and threw her hands up. She whirled as dramatically as possible with one leg in excruciating pain, and began to hobble away. It was not fun, it was probably not a good idea. She should hiraishin, except was Minato going to give that away if he saw it?

The Sandaime made an odd sound in his throat.

"That's a yes," Minato said from behind her, not quietly enough.

"Yes," Aiko said, biting out the word with vicious hate, because hiis assessment had been good and she needed to work with him. "You take care of your shit. I'm going to get my puppies, and then I have to go get cake. And then we can talk."

"Puppies, talk, and then cake," Minato countered sternly.

"Fuck you," Aiko said with feeling. The feeling was mostly pain, her body was screaming at her and she was shaking. "Fuck you, and fuck your cake twice."

"Get her puppies- students," Minato corrected. She didn't turn to see who he was ordering around. "Bring them to the third-"

"Fourth," the Sandaime corrected.

"The fourth conference room," Minato continued smoothly. "You, escort the Mizukage to the hospital before our meeting. I'll go check on Orochimaru, and Sandaime-sama, secure the…" He trailed off, as it became clear that he didn't really know what was going on.

"The stadium," the Sandaime agreed. "It's the Chuunin exams."

"Really?" Minato sounded pleasantly surprised. "Is Naruto-"

"Kill me now," Aiko said, very quietly, as she put her foot down and everything hurt.

Yamanaka Inoichi, who had apparently been told to take her to the hospital, snorted. It might have been commiserating. He offered her his arm.

She gave it an offended look. She didn't want help. She didn't want their stupid hospital room. Okay, she did, but she didn't want to be told to go there.

"Aiko." Her dad sounded absolutely done. He gave her a stern look, and then continued giving out orders to rapidly dispersing ANBU as the Sandaime left.

Her jaw clenched, because he was right that her physical well-being trumped her pride.

'If I'm choosing my comfort over my pride, then I might as well actually be comfortable. I should not be walking at all.'

So when she turned to Inoichi, she wrapped one arm around his neck and grabbed at his shirt with the other. He caught on quickly enough not to overbalance when she rested all her weight along that arm and lifted her feet off the ground so that he had to princess carry her.

He gave her a shocked and confused look, as though he wasn't quite certain he understood how she'd gotten to be in his arms.

Aiko raised an eyebrow and dared him to comment. She dared.

He did not dare, as it turned out. Inoichi sighed and bounced once to shift her in his grip, and then he carried her all the way to the hospital.