I'm an emotionless assassin. How dare this idiot treat me like this?
Still, the target in front of him was the reason he came. Killing this young man meant a bounty worth hundreds of millions.
"Heh… finally, I'm going to be rich."
"Shh. Don't talk," Lin Bei whispered. "If those idiots at the door hear you, we're both in trouble. Come in."
He beckoned with one finger.
The killer leapt lightly through the window, landing in the room. His eyes swept the surroundings—only Lin Bei was there.
Too easy.
He grinned and drew a silver dagger.
"Let me introduce myself before you die. I'm the 562nd-ranked assassin on the Alliance list. Someone's paying three hundred million for your head."
"Huh? You wanna play cops and robbers? I've got a gun—don't move!"
Lin Bei's eyes lit up as he grabbed the water gun and aimed it at him.
When the killer heard "gun," his instincts screamed trap.
Then he saw the plastic toy and smirked.
"Ha. So Young Master Lin really is a fool. Go to hell."
Ding! The system has upgraded your water gun: recoil-free, infinite ammo, high-pressure model.
The voice echoed in Lin Bei's head just as the killer lunged.
Lin Bei pulled the trigger.
Biubiubiu!
A jet of water blasted out, slamming into the killer's chest.
"Argh!"
He hit the wall with a thud, sliding down like a soaked rag. His whole body trembled.
"Squeak, squeak, squeak…"
Lin Bei laughed and imitated gunfire noises, spraying without pause.
The killer rolled across the floor, flailing like a fish dropped into hot oil.
What the hell is this? A plastic water gun shouldn't hit like that!
"Stop it—stop shooting me!" he yelled.
"Hehehehe."
Lin Bei's grin widened. He kept firing. The room filled with the sound of splashing water and hysterical laughter until footsteps echoed from the hallway.
Someone had heard the noise.
"Master Lin, are you alright? What's happening in there?" the bodyguard called from outside.
Ding! Host, call the bodyguard inside and capture the killer!
"I'm fine! Just playing with my water gun. Don't worry about me!" Lin Bei replied cheerfully.
[…System: …]
The bodyguards exchanged glances.
"Understood, Young Master. It's late—try to rest early, it'll help with your recovery."
"I'm not sick! You're the sick ones—idiots!"
Lin Bei snapped, ignoring them.
When he turned back, the floor was empty.
"Huh? Where'd he go?"
Ding! The killer is hiding in the bathtub. Host, please—ah, forget it. Do whatever you want.
Hearing that, Lin Bei's eyes brightened. A game of hide-and-seek?
He rushed into the bathroom, water gun in hand.
Inside, the assassin lay flat in the large bathtub, soaked and shivering.
He had nearly died of fright when the bodyguards came knocking.
If they find me, I'm finished…
And what kind of monster water gun was that?
The killer decided to stay still and wait for his chance to escape.
But then—a shadow fell over him.
The muzzle of a water gun pressed against his forehead.
Lin Bei's face appeared above, wearing a mischievous smile.
"Hehehehe… you're terrible at hiding. Your hide-and-seek skills suck."
The killer froze.
Who's playing hide-and-seek with you?!
"I squeak! I squeak!"
Lin Bei squeezed the trigger again.
A roaring jet of water pinned the assassin down. He flailed helplessly as the bathtub filled rapidly.
Every time he tried to lift his head, the next blast forced him under again.
Up—down. Up—down. Again and again.
The killer regretted every life choice that led him here.
"Cough! Cough! Glug—glug!"
He thrashed wildly, choking on water.
"Help! Help me! Somebody, please!"
The shouting finally reached the guards outside.
Without hesitation, they burst into the room.
"Young Master, what's going on?"
"I'm fine! Totally fine!" Lin Bei said, smiling.
But the killer was hysterical. "I'm not fine! Help me! I'm the killer—right here!"
The guards rushed in and froze.
Water everywhere. A man in black floundering in the tub.
Lin Bei stood beside him, still firing his toy water gun.
Biu~biu~biu!
Now that others were watching, the system-enhanced weapon had reverted to an ordinary toy.
But the assassin, drenched and terrified, still dodged each harmless squirt like his life depended on it.
"What in the world…" one guard muttered.
"Grab him!" another barked.
They moved quickly, dragging the gasping killer out of the tub.
Lin Bei puffed his cheeks, aimed again, and fired twice.
"You're under arrest!"
Biu~biubiu~
Morning.
Five or six maids helped Lin Bei get ready.
He sat soaking in a large pool while one washed his hair, another his face, and another brushed his teeth.
"Young Master, please rinse."
"Glugglugglug—gulp! Burp~"
He swallowed instead.
In the living room, Lin Xiangdong watched the news on a hundred-inch television.
Reports flickered across the screen:
"A farmer in Xingfu Village has raised over two tons of pigs and has been named Pig King of the city."
"A tiger at Jiangdong Zoo mutated, killed a keeper, and escaped. Citizens are urged to stay alert."
"Breaking news: a student at Jiangdong University fell from the thirtieth floor and miraculously awakened special powers. He survived without injury."
"A tour group disappeared in the forest—believed to be attacked by mutated wildlife…"
Click.
Before the segment ended, the screen glitched.
A pink cartoon pig appeared, jumping in a puddle of mud.
"I wanna watch Peppa Pig."
Lin Bei sat cross-legged on the sofa, remote in hand, tapping his toes to the rhythm of the theme song.
Lin Xiangdong could only sigh.
He already knew about last night's assassination attempt.
But in truth, he was relieved.
Fortunately, the killer was an idiot. He almost drowned himself in a bathtub…
"Son," Lin Xiangdong said gently, "I'll take you somewhere later."
"Where are we going?" Lin Bei's eyes lit up. "Are we going out to play?"
"We're going to the Abnormal Human Research Centre."