Ch: 13-15 (skip from here) - Cultivation/HP Fics

13 The End of an Era.

Hogwarts is a mess, the only teachers left are Flitwick, Sprout, Hooch, and McGonagall, and the poor kitty is close to a nervous breakdown. The good news? Study groups were formed, the claws were the first to organize them and pulled the other Houses in, each study group was under the supervision of a sixth-year student. Newt and Owl students buckled down and forgot all the House rivalry to survive this disaster, after all, this affected their future careers.

It didn't last though, new professors were hired, and the rebellion ended when the last one was hired. It had a positive effect on the students, new inter-house friendships were made. So by the start of November, everything settled down.

We often had dinner at other tables, our group expanded with Daphne and Tracey, I felt sad that Ron didn't overcome his hate for Slytherin, I bet the twins must have put a few snakes in his bed, anyway, he started hanging out with Dean and Sean more. Susan Bones and Hanna Abbot joined our Circle, I even dragged Neville in. From the Claws, Lisa Turpin and Padma Patil joined our group. We kept the study group, even when the last teacher got hired.

Quidditch started again, Hooch canceled practice and games last month, because there were too many students flying around, with so many kids in the air doing Quidditch was prone to cause accidents. Funny thing, Quidditch, wizards and witches flying on broomsticks is so Retro, they should by now have invented something better, I mean BROOMS? Why the bloody hell are they using brooms for so long?

It is as if you take a carriage, remove the horses from it, and put a combustion motor in its place. Then you add some brakes, a steering wheel… Ok, I admit it is a bad comparison, in the end, we are still riding in a horseless carriage.

Xxxxx

This handsome Dude, yes, I know I am handsome, Teen Witch Weekly said so, Most Charming Smile for the win! Two weeks in a row! And climbing up to the list of the most desirable bachelors too! The moment puberty kicks in, then I'll take the top spot.

It was all over the Daily Fake News that the Basilisk went for 3 ½ Million Galleons, and it all went into my vault. I climbed thirty ranks up with that fact alone. Golddigger didn't shaft me, so I gave him a bonus that would cover what he would have gained if he did. Carrot and stick, and all that shit, you know.

When I read the numbers on my letter from Golddigger, I said: "Luna? Are you certain you don't want to be a future wife? They have good benefits, there are even friends with benefits positions open."

Luna sighed: "As I said before, Harry Potter, if you want to expand your Harem, ask Greengrass and Davis. I bet you get one of those two, maybe even both."

Tracey glared at Luna: "I said it before, Lovegood, don't drag us into this Potter madness, it is bad enough that our fathers are nagging us about it, so don't you start it too."

Daphne tried to change the subject: "Harry? Are you still planning to leave Hogwarts and home-school yourself with Tutors?"

I shrugged: "Sirius contacted me that he is getting out of St. Mungos at the end of November, by then we can tell if these new teachers are worth their money." I looked around, The whole study group was here, and I continued: "The perfect solution would be that everyone here come along, even though I know that is impossible. What we can do is visit in the holidays, if the tutoring doesn't happen."

Hermione commented: "It would be a bit awkward too, two boys with eleven girls, we would miss out on the socializing part of school life."

Lisa Turpin joked: "I bet our parents think differently, Hermione, instead of a few hundred females to choose from, Harry would have to take his pick from the eleven of us, which increases our chance to 9% to hook Harry. Ah! Ten of us! Luna doesn't want him. That gives us a 10%! See? Things are looking up for us!"

Luna shook her head: "Not true, Turpin, You forget that Harry has two Houses that need a wife, that is 20%, add the fact that Greengrass, Patil, and Bones need to continue their line, which gets you almost at 30%."

Hermione was shocked: "Two wives? Is that true? Daphne? What does continuing your line mean?"

"It means that I need to find a husband that allows our children to have my last name instead of his." She smiled sadly, "It is that, or being a second wife to a married couple. The Wizarding world won't accept single parents."

Crap! They are talking Noble shit! I better change the topic or I'll end up in chains before the year ends. Although… I am almost done in this Layer, what do I care about who Harry spends the rest of this story? That's right, none at all, do I want to shaft the Dude by signing marriage contracts? Very tempting indeed, let's see… Ginny, with Hanna as wives, and add Daphne, Susan, and possibly Luna as consorts. No, Neville has the hots or will get the hots for Hannah, I'll replace her with Tracey, or Lisa.

Nah, that would be cruel, five wives? The dude would not survive his twenties, he would die at thirty, they will cheat on him at forty, divorce half of them by fifty, or he fucks himself to death before he reaches sixty. Where are those contracts… dead by fuck, that is high on the list of desirable ways to die.

I hope they forgot I have House Slytherin and Gaunt by right of Conquest, or the percentage will go up to 90%. That would mean a new pelvis every five years, and a big ass bed.

Where was I? Ah, changing topic, "Tomorrow is the quidditch match against Slytherin, Oliver is driving me crazy with his training sessions, even with Ron distracting him, he demands I practice four hours a day. That man is on steroids, if he doesn't back off, he will end with a broomstick up his ass."

"Harry, language!" chided Hermione, "sometimes you are using very rude expressions, Harry."

"Hermione, sometimes it is the best way to get a point across," I complained, "He will end up with the handle of a cleaning tool in his rectum? That will get all the wrong mental pictures in your mind, don't you think?"

Ginny slapped my arm: "Stop teasing, Harry, we will watch the game. Besides, Oliver reduced training hours after Fred and George peppered him with bludgers and the rest of the team was cheering them on." Meh, it was twenty Galleons well spent.

Xxxxx

Now that Malfoy lost his chances at the Black money, Slytherin didn't get new brooms, and Little Dragon's only chance to get on the team is when he is standing in the cheering section with his pom-poms.

Anyway, luckily I had the Broom flying skill maxed out, and am currently flying circles around Pucle… Puke… Pussy...meh, who cares about his name. I had fun though, when I did that Wrongski feint, Puke Dude followed and plowed the field with his face.

Well, fuck me sideways! Ferret Boy is the spare! He dropped his pom-poms and rushed into his gear, and a few minutes later he took off with his Nimbus 2001. He is still scared of me and toured the field on the other side. To sass the kid, I focused on a spot behind him and rushed over. Litle ferret whimpered and moved aside, Yes! I am the Alpha! Lick my paws! Roll on your back! I am the only one allowed to fuck the bitches!

What was I doing? Ah, Quidditch, I felt sorry for the kid and ended the match when I spotted the snatch… snitch and grabbed the little nob. I totally avoided Ollie's hug and let the chasers do their thing, hmm, boobs, although I could not feel a thing with their gear in the way. The showers were a big let down too, Woods's hairy ass was not fun to look at, and those Twins? Not sexy at all.

Xxxxx

I got lucky though, our game was bugged, it is strange that nobody finds it weird for a waterbug to fly around in November where there is not a drop of water in sight.

The next day the Daily Rubbish headlined:

Exclusive interview with Heir Harry Potter!

Dear readers,

Yesterday, your fateful reporter watched a Quidditch match between Hogwarts houses Slytherin and Griffindor. As you already know, our Boy Who Slayed is the Gryffindor's seeker, and let me tell you, he is a very talented seeker! With a hair-raising Wrongski feint, Harry Potter tricked Slytherin's seeker to follow him in his dive, the poor Slytherin boy was too late to pull up and crash on the field. The replacement seeker, Young Malfoy, made his debut but was not a match for the skills of our Savior. Heir Potter ended the game 250 to 60.

After the game, I had the opportunity to have an exclusive interview with our young Hero.

RS: "You are a talented flyer, Heir Potter, you started last year as a firstie, how did that come to happen?"

HP: "Oh, with something stupid honestly, Draco Malfoy threw something away, and I happened to catch it while Professor… no, the current Headmistress saw it through her window. The next thing I knew, she dragged me to the charms class and asked that she could borrow Wood. At that point, I thought she was going to give me a beating with a piece of wood. Turned out that Oliver Wood was the team captain, and the Headmistress told Wood that I was the new seeker."

RS: "Oh, so you did not try out for the position?"

HP: "Nope, it was the first time that I sat on a broom, at least, I doubt I sat on one as a baby. You can say that I got that position as a punishment, Madam Hooch was escorting a classmate to the Hospital wing and told us to stay on the ground. I love to fly though."

RS: "That is a whole new look I have on this now, most of the people thought you strong-armed or bribed your way into the team. This is new, getting in the team as a punishment, while others can only dream of it."

HP: "Well, if someone wants my spot, they are welcome to it. Next year, I think Ginny Weasley will do great as a seeker, she comes out of a family of excellent fliers and is very talented. Me? I just love to fly, Quidditch is just a reason to be in the air."

RS: "I did not expect that answer, another question is about your home where you grew up, can you tell our readers about it?"

HP: "There is not much to tell about it really, Dumbledore and McGonagall dropped me on my aunt's doorstep like a piece of trash. My aunt found me half frozen the next day in a vegetable basket with a letter. My relative hates and fears Magic, and as you know, kids in stressful situations often have bouts of accidental Magic. This started a vicious circle, I did accidental Magic, and they beat me up for it, I got stressed by that treatment, and did some more accidental Magic. I suspect that they even tried to get rid of me, like dropping me off at an orphanage, because in one of my uncle's rants, he shouted that he could not get rid of me, so he at least tried. Dumbledore knew this all and didn't do a thing to help me."

RS: "Why would he have done this to you? There must be at least a reason for all this."

HP: "You Know Who (Heir Potter said his real name) is that reason and his death eaters that bribed their way out of Azkaban."

RS: "Surely not You Know Who? You vanquished him in 81! And those alleged death eaters swore an oath that they were imperioused by death eaters!"

HP: "Don't be naive, Miss. Skeeter, of course, they could swear that oath, they trained that spell on each other! Ask those poor Imperio victims, did they swear an oath they did not follow willingly You Know Who's cause? (Again he said his real name!) That they did not willingly get branded with that tattoo?"

RS: "No, they all swore the same oath, they got imperio'd by death eaters, nothing else."

HP: "Well Miss. Skeeter, if I was Imperio'd and got that slave brand, I would shout it out! I would swear every oath on my life and Magic, I would cut that brand from my arm and proudly show to everyone that I got rid of that horrible mark of shame. But, as I read it in your earlier editions, they donated some Galleons to a charity, mostly a charity they have under their own control, so they could recuperate most of their gold."

RS: "Those are harsh allegations, Heir Potter, it is close to slander, and defamation. Do you have any proof of this?"

HP: "Simple deductions, Miss. Skeeter, a lot of Imperio victims were forced to torture and kill their own family, even give their hard-earned Galleons away, some were working in key positions in the Ministry. All those demanded Veritaserum, do you see the difference? Others, like my godfather got dumped in Azkaban without a trial. This exposes a disease in our society, a Rot that needs to be cut away before it infects the good people. Dumbledore out of his positions is a good start."

RS: "Those are brave words Heir Potter, dangerous words even. But, didn't you say that You Know Who was the reason why Dumbledore put you away? He died! You killed him!"

HP: "Well, Miss. Skeeter, did someone see his corps? That man was so deep into the dark arts, that he is not truly dead, I saw him last year when that… he is between a ghost and a wraith, he possessed our Dada Professor Quirrel. Somehow he still roams the world as a pathetic vapor. He was never a real Lord anyway."

RS: "He was the Heir of Slytherin! A lot of Lords acknowledged that!"

HP: "Nope, think about it, the last line from Slytherin, was the Gaunts, they were impoverished, inbred, and crazy. Any heir of Slytherin must have come from that House. What sane wizard would follow a Gaunt? His real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, the son of a Muggle squire and the squib Merope Gaunt."

RS: "That can't be! Do you have proof of this?"

HP: "When I researched the Secret Chamber, Tom Riddle framed Hagrid, for opening the chamber, although Hagrid had an Acromantula pet. Proof… if you rearrange the letters in his name, you get I am Lord V…. The father of Merope was Marvolo Gaunt, the neighbors of the Gaunts were the Riddle's and Tom Marvolo Riddle killed them all."

Dear readers, I ended the interview at that, my purpose was to interview a young boy with a talent for Quidditch, my interview was with a confident Young Heir of two Houses, that was not afraid to speak his mind. And had serious accusations, we were almost too afraid to print them. But we decided to let you make your own mind up to believe or reject it.

Your loyal reporter Rita Skeeter

More about the Wrongski feint on page 8

More about the trials after You Know Who's death on page 3

You Know Who's real name or a fake? On page 4

Dumbledore, senile or a Dark Lord? More on page 5

I expected Harry Potter, bat shit-crazy? But, 56% is telling the readers that I am right.

Daphne asked: "Potter? Did you write your Will? If not, I would hurry, mark me up for a million or two, if you have some interesting books, I'll bet Hermione wants them, Ginny? What about you, cash or Heirlooms? I bet as you were named his future wives, you got first pick of the treasure. Tracey and I are next, our fathers are Regents, that should count for something."

Luna pouted: "Hey! I want some of the loot too! Harry! No less than a million, and some books about magizoology."

Lisa Turpin protested: "Hey you greedy harlots! Leave something for us. Harry, divide it into equal parts, that is only fair."

"I am not dead yet, Lisa" I looked at the other girls, "And I am not planning to die soon either. All of you want a piece of me, what the Hell do I get?"

Tracey joked: "A swift death if they are mercy full."

Neville commented: "Harry, you said out loud what a lot of people were thinking, but this will attract a lot of attention of the wrong sort."

Daphne shook her head: "What surprised me more is that Rita dared to print it like that, usually she has a vicious tongue and is in the pockets of the Dark faction."

"Ah, my fair Maiden," I smugly said, "I might not control that Vicious Tongue, but I do control the paper that is printing it."

Xxxxx

Lunch was interrupted by the arrival of Fudge and his posse, a set of nobles followed, ah, my Regents and Sirius are here too, they must have expected this. The popinjay had a hard time finding me, we are sitting with the snakes today, when he finally spotted me, the pompous ass strode to my spot.

He opened his mouth: "Harry Potter! You are accused of slander and defamation, you will be escorted to the holding cells in the Ministry awaiting your trial."

I showed my rings: "Show the arrest warrant, you idiot, did Aurors investigate those accusations? Are you one of those who accept bribes?"

"Look here boy'" he fumed, "You can not slander upstanding members of our society and get away with it."

Sirius's voice came from behind: "Minister Fudge, I hope you have an arrest warrant from the DMLE, because if you dare to arrest my Heir without one, then I will have you arrested. And, I Sirius Orion Black, swear on my Magic that I never took Voldemort's Mark willingly or unwillingly. So Mote It. Be. Lumos! Nox!"

When the glow faded, Sirius said: "Now you, Minister, swear that you never took bribes from the time you got elected till now."

Fudge's head almost exploded, more so when Lord Davis said: "Don't worry Minister, I contacted Madam Bones, I'll bet she will be here any minute. To pass the time, maybe you can make that oath? Or the other esteemed Lords here? Lucius? As a victim, you would not have a problem casting that oath would you, a truly innocent victim would proudly recite that oath every day for the rest of his life."

Sirius commented: "I will demand that oath from Narcissa too, Lucius, it will define if she will remain a Black or become an outcast."

The other Lords felt cornered, they did not expect Black, Greengrass, and Davis to be here waiting for them. Neither did Fudge, it got worse when Madam Bones arrived, she looked at the spectacle, and came closer.

"Cornelius, did you storm in here again without thinking ahead?" asked Bones, "We investigated the allegations Heir Potter made in the Daily Prophet, and what he said could be true after all, I expect upstanding members of our society to come forward and make those oaths, and prove him wrong, only after that can we arrest him for slander."

I grinned at Lord Not, he is the spitting image of his son: "Lord Not! What about you? You must be eager to denounce that you followed a Muggleborn?"

Lord Greengrass recited: "I Cyrus Benedict Greengrass, swear on my Magic, that I never willingly or unwillingly took the Mark from the Dark Lord Voldemort, also named Tom Marvolo Riddle and You Know Who. So Mote It Be! Lumos! Nox!"

Lord Greengrass said: "You see? It is not a complicated oath, I for one can recite it every day if you want."

When Madam Bones and her team of Aurors recited the oath one by one, Fudge knew he lost the case.

Sirius slammed the last nail into the coffin: "We are going to demand that every Wizengamot member takes this oath, Fudge, and the bribe oath for every department head and minister, including your undersecretary."

Without a word, Malfoy turned around and left the Hall, followed by his fellow death eaters, and Fudge.

Lord Greengrass turned to me: "Heir Potter? Are you trying to turn my hair gray? Because you are doing a good job at it."

Luna dryly commented: "That is the job of every Son-in-law, Lord Greengrass, don't worry though, she gets two million from his Will."

Daphne's head exploded: "Luna! Don't twist my words around!"

I teased: "But Daphne, you asked me to mark you up for a million or two in my Will."

"That is because you made enemies of half of the Wizengamot you dunce!" she almost shouted.

Sirius softly said to Cyrus: "That daughter of yours is a smart one, a bit hot-headed but boys like that."

Bernard chuckled: "And foolish me thinking Daphne was the cool one and my Tracey the hotheaded, maybe that is why they are such good friends, Cyrus."

Sirius got serious: "We better leave and prepare for the next Wizengamot session. Pup, if you have more of these surprises, warn us upfront, will you?"

I nodded: "I'll try, Lord Black, Daphne has a point though, I really should write my Will. Can you fetch me next weekend to escort me to Gringotts?"

Madam Bones, who was whispering to Susan heard me: "I'll be your witness for that Will, Heir Potter, so there won't be any disputes like with your parents will."

Xxxxx

Fudge, in all his wisdom, did call an emergency Wizengamot session for the next day, before he tried to arrest me. Madam Bones took the opportunity to sweep through the Ministry and demanded the oats. The tally was staggering, every department had some with the Mark, and almost every department head refused to take the bribery oath, Madam Bones made a concession by altering the words of the vow. Instead of taking bribes, it is taking bribes that caused criminals to avoid 10 years in Azkaban.

She did force a new contract for every employee, for them to work for the betterment of the people, and not join any group that had the purpose of overtaking the Ministry, or politically influencing the people to revolt. It was not a perfect contract, but it will do for now.

Madam Bones cleared the Ministry in one day, she was shocked that five death eaters were in her department and razed through the Ministry like a tornado. The holding cells were occupied that evening, even Umbridge got one.

The death eater Lords didn't show up at the next Wizengamot meeting, they heard of the purge and decided that the continent was a better option to live out their lives, when every Lord swore the oath, the real session could begin. Sadly for Fudge, they forced him to swear the oath or to be questioned with Veritaserum. Either way, Fudge got fucked.

Xxxxx

That Saturday, Sirius, Cyrus, Bernard, and Madam Bones escorted me to Gringotts, Golddigger, and Blooddagger were expecting me and got news.

"As you suspected, Heir Potter," started Blooddagger, "Yesterday, we found the last Horcrux in the Gaunt shack. To our surprise, it was a Peverell heirloom. What surprised us more was that Dumbledore was in that shack lying dead on the floor, and he had the Peverell ring on his finger. There was a withering curse on the ring and a strong compulsion to wear it. We destroyed the Horcrux, and present you the ring."

Carefully, Blooddagger put a wand, Dumbledore's, next to the ring, and said: "We recognized the ring for what it represents, and this wand makes it part of a set. We believe that you can complete that set and are curious what effects it will have, or what abilities you will gain. Several clan elders want to be a witness, will you allow them to see you try to unite the Deathly Hallows?"

It seems ROB is fucking with me, I sighed and nodded: "Let them come in, Blooddagger, I'll bet they are waiting around the corner."

Golddigger pushed a button on his desk and commented: "That would be a suckers bet, Heir Potter."

The room filled up with the retirement center of the goblin nation, they were old, very old, extremely old, some already with one leg in their grave, some even with both legs. I enlarged my trunk and retrieved my cloak, I donned the cloak, put the ring on my finger, and took the wand in my hand, the wand bonded to me with some nice light effects.

When nothing more happened, I sighed, again, and raised the wand: "I, Harry James Potter, claim House Peverell, by Blood, Magic and Heirlooms, So Mote It Be!"

Now, that triggered a light show! Not only a light show, a Magic pulse radiated from me, giving those old Goblins a serious pepper-up. My 90% got up to 100% the Lovegoods were Deathly Hollow believers, and I bet Luna is already contacting a wedding planner.

Cyrus was dazed, he saw history being made by a twelve-year-old boy, he looked at Bernard and nodded, they found their son-in-law.

"Congratulations, Lord Peverell, shall I arrange for the Peverell vault to be reopened?" asked Golddigger.

"Yes, Golddigger, and as you already proved to me that you can be trusted, I want you to manage that account too," I told him, better the devil you know, and all that crap. How many tropes did I collect today? Yes, MOD, the Master Of Death! Add five Lordships to the mix, no, eight if you count Bones, Greengrass, and Lovegood with it. Yeah, ROB is laughing his ass off.

I wrote my Will, Daphne got her million or two, Hermione her books, everyone got a piece of me. I felt like a bloody Santa.

Xxxxx

I opened my eyes when I heard a voice: "Robe Me." SHIT!

14 Robed.

I closed my eyes again, stood still, and let the memories rush in, I felt some fabric go over my head, while the memories slammed into my head. I realized I am in deep shit. Repressing my headache, I opened my eyes to the opening stage. Very gloomy indeed, a dark cemetery, a big motherfucking big Cauldron, Wormtail sobbing on the ground, a dead Diggory, and Harry fucking Potter tied up at a tombstone.

I looked down and saw two big bare feet, I'm not joking, but these feet were huge! Bozo the clown would pay big bucks to have a pair of those! The robe Wormtail threw over me made me look more like Friar Tuck.

Except for my face and hands, going by the look of my hands and feet, I bet the title of Mister Universe has to wait for a few decades. Pale, long bony fingers, those would make pianists green with envy, long toes… the first one that makes a foot joke will get a Crucio on his ass.

I sighed, I am Tom Freaking Riddle! The worst part? Those death eaters felt the mark come back alive and expected to be called. Memories of how to do spells flowed in, the three main ones are easy now…

"Your arm, Wormtail," I said, I better follow the script for a bit, "No the other one, there, let's find out who will come, and who dares to stay away."

What comes next… Ah, the monologue with Harry: "You see Harry, my real… nah they are not family, just some glorified servants." I whispered, "But don't tell them that, you know, it is bad for morale. There are the first ones, all dressed up. Excuse me I have to greet my loyal followers."

I left a shell-shocked Harry behind and faced my terrified minions: "Welcome my loyal death eaters, I am surprised by the speed of your arrival, less than ten minutes! The last time I needed your services it took thirteen years before only one showed up! Worst of all, he did it as a last resort, didn't you Wormtail?"

I gave him a good kick, Crap! I stepped on a pointy pebble, I need new shoes, too bad I can only find a fitting pair in the clown section.

"But," I said, "Don't let it be said that Lord Voldemort isn't rewarding a task well done." I concentrated on my memory of the spell and gave Wormtail his silver paw.

"Thank you, my Lord, it is beautiful." Sniveled Wormtail when he took place outside the circle.

I turned to my inner circle: "Now, one by one, explain why I had to survive as a wraith for thirteen years, while you were getting fat on the work I have done. Lucius, my slippery friend, the tales I heard about you, Not, Parkinson, Avery, McNair, Goyle, Crabbe, THIRTEEN YEARS! Expect some suffering, expect some pain before I forgive."

Avery groveled at my feet: "Forgive me, my Lord! It won't happen again! Have Mercy!" Ah! My first Crucio volunteer, that tosser is drooling on my bloody toes! "CRUCIO!" Ok, how long do I hold that spell? Is it like food that you drop on the floor? Like the five-second rule, after five seconds, it gets germs they say. Totally not true! I know people where you can eat your food from their floor with no problems at all, and I know people who have their food contaminated the moment you put it on their plate.

Where was I?… Crap! I released the spell and cast the counter-spell to ease the nerve ends. Note to myself, keep track of time when doing a Crucio, or focus when casting it. Avery crawled back to his place.

Lucius tried to divert my attention from torture, I admit, Crucio-ing that creep felt good… I have to try that Kadavra spell… Hmm, maybe later, focus Dude!

"My Lord, how did you accomplish this amazing feat? We feared everything was lost when we could not find a trace of you, what powerful ritual made this possible?"

Alright, this calls for some serious bullshitting, I have to mix Canon with Fan Fiction to spin it in my favor.

"Ah, Lucius, it ended and restarted with my guest of honor, Harry Potter. I spent quite some years pondering what happened. My conclusion? Dumbledore set a trap for me, beautifully orchestrated I even might say."

I turned to Harry and continued: "You see, on an evening in July 81, one of my Junior Death eaters reported that he overheard a prophecy about a boy being born as the seventh month dies. A boy able to vanquish me. A prophecy spoken by Sibyl Trelawney to Dumbledore during a job interview at the Hogshead. The Junior only heard the first part, but it was enough to limit my targets to two, Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter. Baby Harry was closest to the end of July, so I picked him as my first target."

They are hanging on my lips… fuck! I don't have lips! Or even a fucking nose! Let's get on with my story, I started to pace between Harry and my crew… I stopped pacing, there was too much gravel on the ground with sharp points, limping was not an option, that would ruin my style.

"You all well know how that ended for me, pain, worse than a Crucio, getting ripped out of your body and dwelling on the earth for THIRTEEN YEARS!" Boy, I love the way they shrink when I shout it out like that.

"I used the boy to get my body back, to prove my superiority, I had him entered in the Tri-Wizard tournament, and let him win it. Right under Dumbledore's nose. And yet, this is just what Dumbledore wants. This is one big scheme of Dumbledore. My year as Quirrell and the two years' worth of intel from Wormtail paint a worrying picture. Let's find out if I have it right."

"Harry, My Boy! I want to make a bet with you, in less than an hour you will know that it was not me that was responsible for your parent's death, but Dumbledore's. Well? Do you want to bet on it? My Boy?"

Harry glared at me: "I know you killed them! I see it every time a Dementor is close to me. What are we betting for?"

I smiled: "Simple, if I win, you make an unbreakable vow with me to keep everything that has happened here a secret, I can lock that away in your brain, and you will take your revenge on Dumbledore first. If I lose, then I'll give you time until you graduate before I will go after you. Do we have a deal?"

"What if I don't want to bet with you?" he asked suspiciously.

I shrugged: "Then I'll slit your throat, right here, right now. Or do you prefer a bit of Crucio first? I am quite fond of that spell." Is that cruel enough?

Yep, the kid swallows and says: "I'll take the bet." Hah, the kid almost pissed his pants, I must compliment his bladder control.

I smiled: "I knew you saw it my way once you thought it through. OK, to start, let's get some facts right, Dumbledore is a paradise bird, don't you agree? He is always dressed as if a rainbow pissed on him, in other words, he loves to show off. Therefore, he does all his job interviews in his office, so he can look important. Why did he that interview in the Hogshead? A pub his brother Abersford Dumbledore owns?"

I saw Harry getting interested, I continued: "Sibyl, the poor soul, she can't predict what clothes she is going to wear the next day, let alone who can kill a Dark Lord. No, My Boy, this was a staged event, meant to be overheard by that Junior Death Eater, timed so that he only heard the first part."

"The bait worked, though, and I went foolishly after your parents. Yes, your mother did an ancient sacrificial ritual, offering both James Potter's and Lily Evans's lives in exchange for your life. Well, Harry, My Boy, who taught them that ritual? I burned Potter Manor down in April, so there were no ancient books anymore. Yes, Harry, My Boy, Dumbledore provided the ritual."

I looked at Wormtail and grinned: "Imagine my surprise that Wormtail informed me that he was the secret keeper for that Fidelius spell on the cottage, Wormtail! Tell us who recommended you as secret keeper and who cast that spell?"

"It was Dumbledore, My Lord, James wanted Sirius, but halfway, Sirius changed his mind and agreed with Dumbledore. A day later, Dumbledore cast the spell, with me as the secret keeper."

The look of horror, changing into anger was amusing to witness, I added: "Did you know that Your Hero Dumbledore is an expert in Legilimence? That means he can read your thoughts and memories without trouble, Harry, My Boy. Yes, that means he could read Wormtail like an open book. I even used Wormtail to plant false information for your Hero. He knew that Wormtail changed sides when he made him a secret keeper."

Is it true? Probably, Peter was a weak-minded boy, that sucked people's ass to better himself. And Dumbledore is an expert mind reader, no doubt about that.

This will shock his pants off: "It gets better, Harry, My Boy, guess who dropped you off on your Aunts doorstep? On November first? At night? In a basket? With a letter? Without even knocking on the door? You guessed it, My Boy! It was your Hero Dumbledore!"

"He seals your parents Will and claims Magical Guardianship of you, Harry, his Boy. What about Godfather Sirius or Godmother Alice you ask? Easy, Sirius gets relocated to Azkaban, and Alice gets a new home in St Mungoos. Guess who helped them to get there? Dumbledore! Black got arrested on the 3rd of November, and Bellatrix lobotomized your Godmother on the fifth. Well after you got dumped at your Aunty, isn't it?"

"Let us talk about your life, Harry, My boy, How many times did your Magical Guardian visit you at your Aunty to see if you are well taken care of? By law, it had to be at least six times a year. He had to oversee your welfare, food, clothing, and mental care. He is also responsible for educating you in the wizarding customs, or at least hiring tutors to teach you."

I turned to my Death Eaters and laughed: "I was in the Leaky Cauldron when that oaf Hagrid led this boy in on his eleventh birthday, a small, scared, skinny boy dressed in rags. The kid was clearly abused and starved by his relatives."

"Well, Harry, My boy? You, Heir to one of the top twenty of the richest Most Ancient, and Most Noble Houses, did Dumbledore visit you all these years? Did they feed you? Bought you new clothes? What did they do when you had a bout of accidental Magic? Tell me, My Boy, did you like your bed under the stairs?"

"My friends, here stands Dumbledore's Champion, According to the Boy-Who-Lives books, he is trained in ancient Magics from his second birthday, and yet he had trouble changing a matchstick into a needle in his first year. Why did Dumbledore refuse to train him? Yes, because of that famous scar. In that scar is an imprint of my Magic locked, encased behind his Mother's protection."

"And that is why Dumbledore wants you small and weak, My Boy, you are nothing more than the carrot that I have to chase so that Dumbledore can invent a complicated plan to get me killed."

I rubbed Harry's hair: "Feel free to ask for confirmation, My Boy, Susan Bones for example, or the Greengrass heir, they are in the neutral faction, Smith, Zabini, or even your Godfather if you will. Not your minder Weasley though, he is Dumbledore's hired help to keep you lazy and stupid."

I softly asked: "What do you want to be, Harry Potter, a puppet or your own man?"

With tears in his eyes, he mumbled: "That can't be true, it can't be."

"Oh," I said out loud, "You still don't believe me? What about your first year? Who gave you your cloak? Ah, but why was that cloak not with your parents? Surely your mother could have escaped with you if she had that cloak."

I called out: "Lucius, here is a bit of news for you, did you know that your son with Harry, My Boy, a Weasley, and a Mudblood were sent into the forbidden forest after dark, to track something that was killing Unicorns? But Draco and Harry, My Boy got protection, a big dog followed them."

"What!" Shouted Malfoy, "I never heard of this, are they out of their minds? Why didn't he write home about it? I'll have that bastard's job for putting Draco in danger!"

I nodded: "That is only one occasion nobody wrote home about isn't it Harry? What about the third-floor corridor that is off-limits if you don't want to die a gruesome death? Guarded by a Cerberus behind a door a firstie can open after two months of school. Or the Troll at Samhain, where I called out that there is a Troll loose in the dungeons, and Dumbledore sends the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins to their common rooms, who happens to be located in the dungeons."

"Second years was a blast too," I continued, "Poor Harry got accused of being the Heir of Slytherin, because he speaks to snakes, Dumbledore in all his wisdom fools him into believing it is the scar's fault. Well, Harry, My Boy? Did he even try to tell everyone you were not the Heir? Is it normal to let someone be petrified for seven months? Did he try to get Black a trial? That is in his power you know, but then again, that would mean that you could live with Black instead of your loving Aunty and friendly uncle."

I used the last nail in his coffin: "Did you know Dumbledore could cancel the Champion selection based on irregularities? They could start it all over, even only allowing the three champions to enter their name. Did he tell you that you are declared of age because they forced you to compete with adults? Oh, yes, Lord Potter, those are the details Dumbledore is so happy to forget to mention. He could just disqualify you, that too was in his rights to do."

I rubbed his hair again: "No, Dumbledore wants his Boy meek and weak, and most of all, following him as a newborn duckling. What do you think, Harry, My Boy? Am I right or wrong?"

My Death Eaters were amused at my attempt to turn the Harry Potter to the Dark Side. Poor Harry's world crashed down around him, this is really from Hero to Zero to him, All my comments struck home like a ton of bricks, I could talk for hours, but his time is running out.

"Tell me now, Harry, My boy, the freak of Petunia and Vernon, the prey of the Harry hunts, puppet of the old bastard. Here is another tip, the one that told the Prophecy to me is teaching potions, Does that sound familiar?"

A low blow, I admit, but Snape allegedly turned into a spy for Albus, so I throw him under Truck San.

"WHAT? That bastard betrayed my parents and now he is being pampered by the Headmaster? I kill him and that old man! You bloody win, alright! YOU WIN!"

There we have it! Being mean is fun! What do I mess up next… "Prepare for that vow, My Boy, I won my bet. Darius Not will be our Binder, I know that Malfoy is not exactly your friend, is he?"

Darius Not guided Harry through the vow, after that, I locked the Memory away behind a wall protected with a Parseltongue password. For a sociopath he has a lot of talent, too bad he lost his nose and lips somewhere.

Man, conjure some shoes! With those feet, you can walk on water!… wait a minute, Robe Me? No Boxers? I am going commando? Why don't I feel any movement below? Carefully I went with my hands over my robes until my right hand went over my Dingeling… where my Dingeling is supposed to be… That bloody motherfucking moron removed his dick? Cool it, throw a tantrum later, we have some brainwashing to do, and at the moment I am in the mood to open a skull and give that brain a scrubbing.

"Here is your cover story, little puppet, someone tampered with the trophy, Wormtail was waiting for you and killed Diggory, never mind, you can take your revenge later on Dumbledore, without you we would not be here. You avoided the curses and made a run for it, Wormtail chased you, and after a mile, you circled around and took the Portkey back. Now, look at Wormtail… and obliviate. That can easily be undone. Of you go."

I saw Harry Portkey away with Diggory's body, I turned to my crew: "Wormtail, clean this mess up, remove all traces of the ritual, and Magics, Crabbe, Goyle, help him. Lucius, prepare your Mansion for my stay there, we need to have a conversation about a little book that you lost. The rest of you come tomorrow night to the Mansion. I have some things to do."

§Nagini, return to the mansion, we leave from there later.§ the bitch didn't even answer.

I looked a last time around and apparated away.

Xxxxx

The Gaunt shack was the same as I left it all those years ago, I rushed through the wards and traps, a simple finite in Parseltongue is enough, and a 'reveal yourself for Lord Slytherin' to get in the box. A few dispels later, and I have the resurrection stone in my hand. I know it won't work for me, I wore that ring for a year or two, I must have turned that ring a hundred times, I bet it needs something more, like claiming Lordship of house Slytherin or Peverell. He, no, I, failed to claim the Slytherin Lordship, the ring probably noticed some missing soul pieces.

Anyway, back at the Riddle Mansion, I have the most accessible Horcrux in my hand, the question is, what do we do with it? First things first, I lifted my skirt and inspected my equipment… sigh, nothing to brag with, that's for sure, the term Needle dick comes to mind, a few inches, and I bet when the blood flows in… that fucker did a ritual and offered his sex drive away!

I know that with every Grand Ritual, you need to sacrifice something of yourself, but boy did he get his priorities messed up! You should have offered half of your feet, moron! In my mindscape, I went over every ritual this tosser ever made. This fool is an addict! My only consolation is that I can lock all the memories of his murders away in my Mindscape.

I can confirm now that Tom, AKA, Me, was not hit with the crazy stick, no, he got smashed down with the demented tree trunk. Every Ritual he did was more dangerous than the previous one, I mean, Unicorn horn stolen from a live Unicorn? Forcing Fairies to aid in a ritual? Yeah, that is why I have these good looks, my Magic got amplified though. Personally, I preferred to keep my dick the way it was before, or my lips and nose. The Jean-Luc Picard look doesn't work for me either.

Xxxxx

I gathered Nagini and apparated to Malfoy's Mansion, I have some Crucio's to do concerning a Diary. Didn't that fool know that a Diary is sacred? No, maybe that is a girls-only thing. Ah, I am expected, the gates are opening for me. I have to get my priorities sorted… enlarging my Dingeling for one, getting a nose, lips would be nice, hair...

15 Preparations.

I slowly walked to the front door of the mansion, an impressive door though, and slow because I was still barefoot. I can conjure sandals, but that will make me look more like a monk from a horror movie, if I conjure shoes, that would make me look like a clown before he puts his makeup on. Ah! I have it! I put a spell on the soles of my feet that made them more leathery, that did the trick, I quickened my step to the door where Lucius and Cissy were waiting for me.

Usually, I would say bow to me, but they took the words out of my mouth and went a bit further by going on hands and knees and kissing my feet. That is disturbing! Instead of brushing their lips, Malfoy is slobbering all over the toes of my left foot and Narcissa is pecking her lips on every toe of my right foot. Do they have some kind of foot fetish?

"Rise," I said, "Do not think I forget the past thirteen years just because you are drooling on my feet. Get inside, we have a lot of planning to make."

Once we were in the parlor, I turned to Malfoy: "I entrusted you with one of my most treasured possessions, one of the few that could lead Dumbledore to my downfall, and you used it to try to get a Ministry flunky fired? Not only did you endanger my artifact, you endangered the whole cause we are fighting for."

I glared at him and continued: "Your actions released a Basilisk on Hogwarts, do you think an artifact can control one of those? I told you to use it when all was lost, you idiot! What would have happened when that Basilisk went into the Great Hall at dinner? Would your son survive it? Would all the other Heirs of all the pureblood Houses that are currently at Hogwarts live through that?"

Both were slobbering my feet again, let's rant some more: "What would happen Lucius when it came out that my artifact was responsible for all the damage the Basilisk caused? Worse! You let it get destroyed and my Basilisk killed! That is a double failure, LUCIUS! Crucio!"

Meh, just for a second, I still need him. It is quite satisfying to see the worm roll on the floor, the pussy pissed himself… A Crucio for a second and he is pissing himself? What a wuss.

"Go to Fudge and do damage control, if Dumbledore announces my return, tell Fudge he is out for his job by sowing fear to the people." I said, I thought for a bit and added: "If Crouch Junior is captured let Fudge set a dementor on it. Remember Lucius, no loose ends. My return hast to stay a secret."

"Narcissa, show me my room and prepare a bath and fresh clothes," I commanded,

Yep, this will be my base for the coming months, a small price for losing my first Horcrux. I am going to work them over like house elves… should I have them wear pillows? No, maybe when they run out of cash.

Xxxxx

Soaking in my tub, scrubbing my feet while inspecting my pecker, well, I was used to having a larger one, yes, it was bloody bigger than this one. Although I could not brag about the one I had before, I could not even say it was above average… I never compared it to others, but this one is ridiculously small.

A walk in memory lane put the blame on my rituals again, as I said before, every ritual takes a price no matter what you are offering, some body part has to give. Horcruxes did take big parts of this body, and I guess the first Horcrux took his sanity, I mean what use is having power if you are a mix between an inferi and a snake?

Fucking women is impossible when you are a Master Legilimence, one look in their eyes tells you what they really think about you, maybe that is why he gave up on his pecker. I want my dick back! And my nose, lips, hair, skin color, smaller feet… Sigh.

On the positive side, I have perfect Occlumency, total recall of every book I read, every spell I learned, every man, woman, and child I tortured and killed. Harry Potter was not the first kid I slaughtered… I am closing that section or I'll go crazy.

Meditating in bed, I searched for body-restoring rituals, a nasty one was reuniting the Horcruxes, showing real remorse, and you probably die when they fuse together again. That ship has sailed the moment my diary got stabbed and half of my soul went to the… wherever those things go. It is an option though, if I can find a way to fuse some of those pieces back, I'll take it with both hands. Meh, I will sleep on it.

The next morning, Nagini complained: §Those white birds have more feathers than meat, I ate two and I am still hungry.§

§You better eat them all, they woke me up with their ungodly screams this morning.§ I grumbled. §Let the House-elves stay alive, I doubt Narcissa can cook.§

§I'll am going to shit feathers for a week that way!§ Complained Nagini, §Why don't you eat them for dinner? Tell them to bring a few sheep or pigs or I start biting.§

Our hissing freaked Narcissa out, especially when I said her name in English between the hissing, and Nagini turned her head at her, she left the room as fast as possible, I bet to get another knicker. The dining room of the Malfoy's is something grand, I sit at the head of course, as a notorious Dark Lord, I have to be impressive, so a bit of transfiguration got me a fancy throne, Gold colored of course.

Two elves were serving the food. Strange creatures, those elves, stranger even how Malfoy is treating them, he is a textbook villain, I bet Disney rubbed off on Mrs. J.K., like, did you ever meet an evil man or woman that treats their servants decently in those movies? So these elves look like they were run over by a stampeding herd of wildebeests. I would have frowned at Lucius when he came in and kicked an elf aside, but... You can't frown without eyebrows.

I could not help myself from commenting: "Lucius, you must be the biggest fool in Britain, didn't you learn your lesson with that Dobby? Tell me, are these elves loyal to you and your House? By the way, you are treating them, I am surprised you have elves at all." I pointed my wand at him and said: "Wormtail told me all about Dobby, how he disobeyed you to help Harry Potter destroy my Diary. You will soon find out the value of a loyal elf. Tell the inner circle to be here for dinner. I have some errands to do."

Xxxxx

Yeah, I had to get out of there or I would have killed those two, I couldn't even rape Narcissa, the bitch would not even feel my dick. Anyway, I made a tour of my safe houses and secret stashes, the best idea I had before Harry buzzed me was that I let others pay to finance my fights, I took a modest cut of course. 20% is a reasonable wager for the Leader of the faction don't you agree? I am glad you see it my way, you be dead otherwise.

I collected the books and ingredients for my next rituals, I have five of them in mind, and have to choose one or two of them. Another option would be another body, but I am not ready to lose the blood connection with the boy. Two trunks shrunk to matchbox size will do for now.

At dinner time, I returned. Snape was there to slobber my feet, five seconds will do the trick… ok, eight? Ten seconds later I released my Crucio, damn, judging by the reaction of his body the tosser expected it and took a nerve-dampening potion in advance. I still can use him for a while or he would get another twenty seconds on his ass.

"Here is Dumbledore's spy, my friends, as you know he offered to act as a double spy when I started hunting the Potters," I said and kicked him away, "It got him out of Azkaban and a cozy job at Hogwarts, let's see how loyal you are, little spy, stand up and look me in the eye."

Shivering, Snape stood up and looked me in the eyes, merciless I attacked his memories and sifted through his brain. Year after year passed my judgment, I didn't find any treasonous thoughts or acts. But I knew from the books he could remove memories and store them away like he did when he taught legilimence to Potter. Meh, let's play along, he deserves a little bashing… a lot of bashing.

"So, you kept my loyalty Severus, although I must say that you are a lousy teacher, no, that is not the right word, incompetent, inept, unqualified, those words describe it better. What is your excuse, Severus? Was it Dumbledore's idea to cripple the next generation? No, don't say a thing, I am not in the mood to hear your petty reasons. Sit down everyone and have dinner." Snape had his Occlumence shield up the whole time, the only thing showing his distress was the twitching of his eyes. Or it was the Crucio exposure that caused the twitching.

Xxxxx

After dinner, I started to give my orders: "At first, I want to attract the Giants and Werewolves to our cause, they can form our front line in our battles, although I suspect we will not need them soon. Lucius, how far are you with Fudge?"

Lucius answered: "Fudge is completely paranoid, My Lord, the Potter boy did not reveal your resurrection, and with only the words of Dumbledore and Severus, it did not convince him of it. He simply refuses to believe it. Crouch Junior is kissed, the Potter boy exposd him, and Fudge did not wait for the Aurors to question Junior."

I sighed: "Too bad, he was my most loyal follower, I told him to leave when Harry Potter portkeyd away. I guess he wanted to stay and gloat."

I looked at Snape: "My main objective is that Prophesy, Severus, I need the exact words of that Prophesy, we will try to find a way to retrieve it from the DoM. Leave now."

When Snape was gone, I relaxed, "Now that Dumbledore's spy is gone, we can talk about the real issues, we are going to use the coming months to undermine the public opinions of Dumbledore and his club and the Ministries credibility. Dumbledore will send his spies to the Giants and Werewolves, and he will guard the Department of Mysteries with his club, which will keep him occupied."

I started my next orders, "Lucius, you keep Fudge on his leash, while Nott, Parkinson, Mulciber, and Selwyn visit our supporters and feel them out. Don't start yelling that I am back alive, we have time to build our forces in secret for as long as Fudge denies I am back."

That will take care of the brains, now the dumb muscles, "Wormtail will take care of Nagini, Crabbe, Goyle, and the Carrows will recruit in Knockturn Alley, Alecta, mark any known Dumbledore spy with a tracker, Fletcher is one of them I think."

"Avery, Macnair, Rowle, and Yaxley, feel the Ministry out. See who can be turned and who needs an Imperio to do our bidding."

I looked at everyone and said: "It is important that we remain in the shadows, so no mindless raping and killing, I am going to research some ancient Magic, there are some improvements that need to be done. Also, keep Snape out of the loop, I do not yet trust him, but we can use him to fool Dumbledore. This means that I have no interest in that fake prophecy at all, but I want Dumbledore to think I do. These are the highlights, let us enjoy Lucius' hospitality! Narcissa! Bring out the good stuff!"

That will keep them off my back for now, I am walking on a tightrope, balancing a bunch of murdering maniacs to follow a fake Voldemort is not going to be easy. Here is my dilemma, I am bloody Voldemort, to successfully complete this layer, do I have to kill Potter, or myself? Do I conquer Wizarding Britain? Put Muggleborn in camps? Perhaps I have to embrace my inner villain, kill a bit, some Crucio, rape some women...

Get a bigger dick so I can rape again, I found the solution to enjoy my rapes, I take them from behind, so I don't have to look them in the eyes… Nah, I am not a fan of raping, it is too much of a hustle, and it is more satisfying when they are eager participants. Do you want excitement? Cheat on the wife with her sister, I bet there are pleasure establishments in every city… yes, they do good business, and you can bet your ass not every customer is a bachelor. Hmm, good memories. Having an understanding wife is not good either, they expect you to be understanding too, and before you know it she is fucking Fred from next door, it could be revenge for fucking her sister. I know life is complicated, her sister was smoking hot though.

Meh, I better prepare for the holidays.

Xxxxx

The first Saturday morning of July, a well-dressed middle-aged man, holding a bookcase, took a stroll through Privet Drive, at number four he paused and smelled the flowers that were bordering the sidewalk. Nobody saw the man pointing his finger to a bush and whispered a word or two. The snoring coming from that bush made the man pointed his finger again, after a few more words, the snoring stopped.

The man continued his stroll to the front door of Privet Drive 4 and rang the doorbell. The lady of the house opened the door, and Petunia looked at a handsome stranger.

"Good morning, Mrs. Dursley, my name is Tom Riddle, a solicitor of the firm Ofthem, Riddle, and Basher. We are here to correct an injustice, you have been denied your inheritance that your sister Mrs. Potter, bequeathed to you in her Will. Can I come in and discuss the details? I assure you, it is quite substantial."

It is I, as you already guessed, I bet the name Riddle gave it away. I am here to mess Dumbledore's plans up a bit. Using Magic here you say? Nah, at this moment Hopkirk is getting fucked by Rowle, don't worry, she likes it rough.

Petunia led me into the living room and introduced Vernon: "Mr. Riddle, my husband Vernon, Vernon, this is Mr. Riddle, he is a Solicitor…"

I took over, "Good morning Mr. Dursley, I am sorry to disturb your free time with matters that should have been executed years ago. I am talking about your inheritance from your late sister-in-law. We are talking about quite the amount of goods and money."

Vernon asked suspiciously: "You are one of those freaks, aren't you? I am surprised you look almost normal."

I sagely nodded: "Our firm works in both worlds, Mr. Dursley, we have learned to act normal. Most of our employees are like your wife, with a relative on the other side. I noticed you are uncomfortable with me here, so I will get to the reason for me to be here."

Vernon relaxed a bit, finally a freak that can behave like a normal person. That and the amount of goods and money the freak talked about helped him to get over his discomfort quickly.

I continued: "After Lord and Lady Potter died, Mr. Dumbledore used his connections to unlawfully block their Will, therefore freezing what should have been yours all those years ago. The Will is blocked until Heir Potter reaches twenty-one, the age where he is expected to take his seat in our ruling government."

I held my hand up to stop them from interrupting: "An opportunity appeared this year, Heir Potter was forced into a competition that declared him to be of age. Which means he can take his Lordship up today after we take care of some details."

I opened my briefcase and presented them with a stack of papers: "These documents, after you sign them, will make Heir Potter an adult in the normal world, we even put a document for Heir Potter to sign that he will not in any way take legal actions against your family. We understand that the stress of housing one of our kind can be too much for normal people. This procedure is standard in our world."

Petunia asked: "How much money and goods are we talking about? And we were not told they were nobility."

"Ah, Mrs. Dursley, that Nobility is only in our world, we segregated our part of Britain in the sixteen hundreds during the witch hunts. The money, we estimate six figures at least, perhaps even seven, the goods have to be divided at the reading."

Vernon had those cartoon dollar signs in his eyes and shouted: "Boy! Get down here this minute!"

Petunia rushed upstairs, probably to unlock his door, and came back with Harry, the holiday just started, so he still had some meat on his bones. In the meantime, I pointed to Vernon where to sign after I showed the lines that were important to him, a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Petunia came down with Harry, I said: "Heir Potter, our Law firm is hired to arrange your emancipation in the normal world, if you will sign here, and here, here too, that is great. Pack your belongings and I will escort you to Gringotts to unlock your parents Will."

When Harry gathered his belongings, I addressed the Dursleys: "Expect your inheritance at the end of this month, we will use normal mail, of course. If you will give me the bank account number where the money needs to be deposited, then we are all done."

A few minutes later, Harry dragged his trunk down, with Hedwig in her cage. It is a bit sad that Harry is prepared to leave with a total stranger without questioning him, this home was a real hell, I know, I have the memories to prove it. I freaked the Dursleys out by shrinking and putting a featherweight charm on the trunk.

"Goodbye, Mrs. and Mr. Dursley, we thank you for your cooperation, as I mentioned before, at the end of this month you will receive our letter, come along Heir Potter, Gringotts hates it when their appointments are running late."

Xxxxx

We left Privet Drive and walked to the park nearby, I sat down on a bench and tapped the seat next to me. "Sit down and let me explain what is happening to you, Heir Potter. But first, let me scan you for tracking charms… ah! Five of them… two listening charms… it is a good thing I can not be spied on with those ordinary trinkets. I moved them to this bench, For your trunk, put it in this box, that will block any spells and trackers on you, ah! The birdcage has one too, the ring on your owl's feet, the invisible ring, here do you feel it? That is making a copy of your mail and directing it somewhere, Dumbledore never understood the meaning of privacy if it isn't about him. There, all set to go."

I turned serious: "This is what has to happen, Heir Potter, you will take this portkey to Gringotts, or, take the Knight bus if you don't trust me. Hide the scar if you do. At Gringotts, your account manager will await you in… twenty minutes. Claim your Lordship of House Potter, and demand your parents Will to be read. Then, you ask for a curse breaker, a goblin one to examine your cursed scar and to inspect your belongings, ask for an official report of that examination. Are you with me so far?"

Harry nodded, and asked: "What did I sign at my aunt's home?"

I shrugged: "Papers that will emancipate you in the Muggle world and a letter that you will not press charges against them for child abuse."

Harry exploded: "What? Do they get away with all they did to me? Why did you let me sign it?"

"That is simple, Heir Potter, Magic. Yes, Magic demands that all contracts are signed with their free will, otherwise, it can be contested in court. The same Magic will judge you that you are of age to take your Lordship and your ring. Focus now, when you are cleared of all foreign Magics, let Gringotts send a copy of that report to Madam Bones, she is the Head of the DMLE. Your parents have several homes in Britain and other countries. Select one and ask Gringotts to update the Wards."

I smiled sadly to him: "I am sorry to say, that your friends are not exactly your true friends, Weasley is getting paid to let you slack off, I don't know what Granger's deal is, but giving a time turner to a child to attend some classes is criminal. My advice is to warn your Godfather of this before it is too late. I heard he will offer his ancestral home to be used by Dumbledore, which will give Dumbledore access to the Black Library, Sirius Black made you his heir, so Dumbledore will be robbing him and you. Do not trust Lupin, oh, he likes you very much, but he has sworn a loyalty oath to Dumbledore. Why do you think he never visited you?"

I stood up and gave him a letter: "I explained it all in this letter, read it tonight. And tell your account manager Bellatrix has one in her vault too. Good luck, Heir Potter."

The little fool is too trusting, he activated the portkey and went off. No, I am not a total bastard and ported him to the other side of the planet. Did I go easy on the Dursleys? Nah, they will never face a trial, he is going to burn their house down, probably with them in it. He signed papers to not press charges; not ever to take revenge.

Now I have to sit back and enjoy all the drama.

Xxxxx

A week later the Daily Deceiver was printed in big fonts

The Boy Who Lived is now Lord Potter!

Yes, my dear readers, as of this minute Lord Potter has become the most desired bachelor of Britain. Girls from ten to thirty will be on the hunt for the Lady Potter title, (a list of prime candidates on page 2) Lords and Ladies with daughters will try to have him sign a betrothal contract to form an alliance, (Possible candidates on page 3).

Lord Potter mailed us a brief statement:

To the People of Britain,

Last school year I was forced to compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament against my will. At the third task, when the Cup was in sight, Cedric Diggory, the true Champion of Hogwarts, saved my life from an Acromantula, we disposed of another one together.

I was not the real Hogwarts champion, therefore I offered him to take the Cup, as was his right. Winning the tournament was never my goal, only to survive it.

As a true Hufflepuff and a great wizard, Cedric Diggory denied that honor and said to both take the cup and split the award. We both grabbed the cup and were ported outside Hogwarts, where we were ambushed by Peter Pettigrew.

I fell on the ground, while Cedric managed to stay on his feet, it made him the first target for the Avada curse from Pettigrew. In a panic I ran away, chased by Pettigrew who was casting several spells at me.

I managed to outrun Pettigrew and circled back to Cedric and the Cup, I grabbed both and arrived at the stage in Hogwarts with the officials.

I don't care what they say or think about me, but I won't allow one bad word about Cedric Diggory.

I do have questions. Why didn't the Headmaster notice that a good friend of his was impersonated with polyjuice? A fraud was teaching us Dada for the whole year and Dumbledore didn't know? I doubt that very much.

Either Dumbledore is getting senile, or he is a criminal to allow this to happen. I also blame Dumbledore for Cedric Diggory's death.

Another blame I put on Dumbledore's feet is that he knew my sworn Godfather Sirius Black is innocent, and is still refusing to arrange a trial for him. A trial he never had in the first place.

Peter Pettigrew is alive and had been hiding as a rat animagus at the Weasleys, while my sworn godfather was put in Azkaban by Bagnold, Crouch Sr., and Dumbledore.

At this moment I am searching for other schools to complete my education because I am not going to be in the same building as Dumbledore of my free will. I expect him to Imperio me or use potions to let me obey him once more.

So, if you see me and Dumbledore together in Hogwarts, call the DMLE.

Yours,

Harry James Potter,

Lord of House Potter

Heir Primary of House Black

Dear readers! This is casting a different light on what happened with the Tri-Wizard Cup! Is this the reason Dumbledore is claiming that You Know Who is back alive? Is he covering his crimes, and hoping that we want to depend on him again?

Before we printed this letter we went through our archives and didn't find one word about a trial, an inquiry at the Ministry told us there was no trial at all, and Lord Black's files were sealed.

Let me remind you that at the time Heir Black was an experienced Auror with a lot of arrests on his name with his partner Lord Potter. Why was an Auror shoved in Azkaban without a trial?

We will investigate this further, and appeal to the DMLE to find the truth.

Your Loyal Reporter Mouth B. Labber.

Chapter 556 - Ch: 13-15 (skip from here)