4 Mr. Anonymous.
Enough drama? It made a big impression in all the movies and TV shows, although… a little snot doing that? I say it worked for 50% of the effect I was going for. My classmates got the message alright, Potter was back, alive and smug. I'll kick them later.
Ah, the girls saved me a spot, how nice of them. I sat between Daphne and Tracey and filled my plate with chicken and fish.
"Ah, finally something else than bloody pig meat." I commented, "Hello, Daphne, Tracey, Lisa, Hermione, and Sue… or is it Li?"
The answer was confusing: "It is Li, but you can call me Sue if you want."
"I will, Sue," I smiled, "but only if you call me Harry."
I looked at the girls: "You too, of course, or did I say that already?"
Hermione exploded: "Harry? Where were you? Did you get arrested? Where is your scar? What happened to you? Are you in trouble? We heard the strangest stories, which ones are true?"
"Ehm? What was the second question?" I asked, "Or the third, the fourth… how many questions did you ask? Sue? You can call me Harry… ah! I already said that. Hermione, stop messing with my head please."
I took a deep breath and said: "The Aurors wanted to talk about Professor Snape's behavior, and some other issues came up, Professor Flitwick took me to St Mungoos and Gringots to sort some of those out, I ate a lot of pig meat, and came back here. The rest is classified."
Hermione protested: "We have the right to know! We are your classmates, what if those secrets are hindering our education?"
I sagely nodded: "You have a point, we have the right to know every secret. Sooo, at what age did you stop wetting your bed? Do you wear a training bra? When are you letting us read your diary? Daphne? Can you come up with more embarrassing questions for Hermione?"
Daphne shrugged: "No, you got your point across. Those were mean questions, Harry, don't ask those again please."
"Daphne is right, Harry," commented Lisa, "Hermione was worried for you, we all were when you didn't come back from the Headmaster's office."
"Ok, I went too far, sorry Hermione, you overwhelmed me with all your questions and got defensive. I hope you are not mad at me."
"No, I am not mad, Harry," she sighed "I know now that I am too demanding, I'll have to work on that."
Zack patted her back: "One question at a time, Hermione, and you'll be fine. Harry? Where is your scar?"
"Gone," I answered, "believe it or not, the Goblins gave it to a pig... and they made me eat that pig."
"That is hard to believe," said Zack, "Why in Merlin's name did they do that?"
I shrugged: "They had to transport that curse from my scar into a pig with a ritual, after that, they slaughtered that pig, so the next few days I had Pig on the menu, three times a day I ate Pig."
I change the subject: "So, what did I miss this week? Do I have homework?"
Hermione said: "An essay for Professor Flitwick, you can use our notes if you want. Transfiguration was interesting."
"It was," commented Zack, "Professor McGonagall is an animagus, she can change into a cat."
That was the start of a recap of all the classes I missed, not a lot by the sound of it, but it kept the conversation going. At the end of the meal, I went over to the Puff table and sat next to the pink girl.
I asked: "Hey, beautiful miss, did you mean it when you said that your father would be my lawyer for free? Because I need one."
"Yes, he would," She answered, "Mum and Da were friends of your parents before they were killed, and tried years to find you."
I looked her up and down and said "Nim? You are my Nim?"
She gasped: "You remember that? You used to call me that, even before you could say Dad."
Of course, I don't remember, I got it from Fan Fiction and took a calculated guess. It opened an opportunity to jump into her arms though. Hehe, boobs… Soft…
"Quit drooling, kid," Tonks dryly said, "You are not fooling anyone with your act. Now lose the grip while you are still conscious."
"Sorry about that… actually, I am not sorry, it was an experience that I will not lightly forget." I said when I let go, "I will treasure every second of it."
"My Da will raise his tariffs if you keep on going that road, shorty." she said while giving me a slap to the back of my head, "Write in a letter what your troubles are and what help you expect from him. Give it to me tomorrow, and we will send it to him."
"Thanks, Nim, I'll give it tomorrow." when I stood up, I whispered in her ear: "Although I already did that three days ago, while I was in Gringots, Nymphadora Tonks."
She yelled: "You cheeky brat! Stay still so I can hex your bits off!"
A few stinging hexes later I arrived back at my table.
Lisa asked: "Harassing the female population already, Harry? What was in that Pig? Steroids? Hormones?"
I shrugged: "She used to visit my parents before they got murdered. Her father is a lawyer, and I need one. I could remember her name, I called her Nim."
"I am going to work on my essay," said Zack. "I feel that staying too close to Harry can be bad for my health."
That was the start sign to move upstairs
Xxxxx
My first class the next day… Potions, I missed a whole week. I got a lot done in that week though, Tonks Sr. is my Lawyer, he went after Petunia and Vernon with a vengeance, by the end of this month he will be my guardian on the Muggle's side. Once he has that, he can force a reading of the will.
He is also preparing a statement in the papers about my living conditions and my mail issues. The bad news is that my grandparent's mansion got destroyed, no houses in other countries, no Veela enclave… a lot of galleons though. I am loaded. I did some extra shopping before I got back… yeah, I made a list and let someone fetch it, for a fee of course. Greedy buggers.
I met Neville at the door of the potion class: "Hey Neville, Megan, how is life in the badger's den?"
Neville grinned: "Our common room is awesome, we have all those rare plants in our common room, I am even allowed to take care of them."
Megan nodded: "We are lucky that our head of House is a Herbology Master, we learned a lot already."
The door swung open, "Get inside."
That set the mood for the rest of the period. Everyone hurried inside and partnered up, again I was the only one without a partner and took the spot at the back from last week.
"There will be no unnecessary talking in my class, you dunderheads need to follow my instructions to the letter or face my... Displeasure. The recipe is on the board, you have two hours to complete the potion. Begin."
That asshole skipped a lot of steps, he is the kind of man that will throw a kid into the water to teach it to swim, some learn it that way, but most of them drown though. I would have drowned, my first experience in a swimming pool was horrible, ice-cold water, and the assholes pushed me in. This kid got a thermal shock, and I swallowed a few gallons of water, bloody nearly drowned too. They had to rescue me, true story! My friends are still laughing about it, the water was only three feet deep, assholes.
Where was I? Ah, Potions, I went to grab the ingredients, had to go back twice, I took the wrong stuff, and I started brewing. You might think a Cauldron is something big, Not! They are quite small, if the cauldron is big we won't call it a Potion, we call it soup, I mean, we only need to provide a vial, the rest vanishes.
A distracting factor is that dungeon bat, he is getting on my nerves. That creep is stalking us, his comments are mean, degenerating, insulting, taking points left and right, he is avoiding me though, but focusing mostly on Neville, he must have been told to ignore me and he is taking it out on Neville.
It still annoyed me, Neville sat right in front of me, and the insults to Neville were clearly meant for me, that petty bastard. Hah! Revenge will be mine dungeon bat! It did not do much for the here and now, the bat was blocking my view of the board, so most of the time I was winging it, the cooking that Petunia forced me to do helped a bit, I pretended I was cooking soup, too bad I ended up with a vial of goo.
I even wasn't the worst, Neville had to scrape it from the bottom of his cauldron. He was shaking in his boots at the end of the class.
When we went outside I said loud enough: "Don't worry Nev, we do self-study, it can't be worse than in here, anything is better than this."
Hah, the bat kept quiet, Madam Bones must have scared the shit out of him. History was dull, and after lunch, we were elbow deep in dragon shit with Professor Sprout.
Xxxxx
After dinner, I searched for an empty classroom, one without paintings, took a sheet of parchment and my new dicta quill, and started my letter.
Mr. Moody…
If you visit the home of Barty Crouch, you will find his son in a chamber in the basement under the Imperius curse, tended by a house elf. Yes, he switched him with his dying wife. You will find that Junior is quite the fanatic Voldemort supporter.
Yours truly, Mr. Anonymous.
Two days later, the Daily Trash reported the capture of Barty Crouch Junior, and the arrest of Barty senior.
It opened the way for my second letter, in my empty classroom, I started the letter with my trusty dicta quill.
Dear Madam Longbottom,
I write you this letter to inform you of a grave injustice. Your grandson Neville is terrorized by the Potion Professor Severus Snape. What is making it worse, is that he is the one responsible for Voldemort to target your family and the Potter family.
You see, he overheard a prophecy that Sybil Trelawney made to Dumbledore, although he only heard the first lines:
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies.
That is all Snape heard before he got caught, but he ran with it to Voldemort, it was enough for you to get targeted by him, and you were forced into hiding. Because of that prophesy, your family and the Potters suffered. Now Snape is targeting your grandson for no reason at all.
Included is the memory of his first potion class, I extracted it from one of his classmates.
I don't know why Dumbledore is protecting him, but that man is bullying everyone except Slytherins for ten years. You will notice that when you check the drop in the number of graduates in Newt Potions, 90% of them are Slytherins.
You are on the board of governors, surely you can do something, anything will be better than this situation.
Yours truly, Mr. Anonymous.
PS, Get your Grandson a new wand, his wand is not working for him for as long as his father is alive. Unicorn wands are loyal to their owner. Ask Olivander if in doubt.
My bet is that Augusta is going to spell the scrap out of Snape, or at least get him fired. Snape was nasty to Neville in that memory… I hope she kills him, I can't stand that creep.
Getting rid of Snape will be a blow to Dumbledore too, he probably had to call a lot of favors to keep his own jobs. Getting heat for keeping his pet will hurt him.
Monday, at breakfast, Dumbledore introduced the new Potion Professor, Slughorn, due to Professor Snape having other responsibilities elsewhere. That got a round of applause from all the tables, even from most of the Slytherins.
Xxxxx
I saw Neville admiring his new wand at the badger's table. I call that two birds with one spell. Damn, I'm good. This is fun! I'll do another one!
Mr. Moody,
If you visit the Gryffindor Tower, you might find an illegal animagus. Peter Pettigrew faked his death and lived for ten years with the Weasleys as a pet rat. Currently, he is with the youngest boy Ronald. Be careful, that rat is slippery, he framed Sirius Black for the murder of those muggles and for betraying the Potters.
Yes, Pettigrew was the secret keeper for the Potters, they switched because Black was too obvious, so he acted as a decoy.
You might investigate why Sirius Black was thrown in Azkaban without a trial, on orders from Crouch, Bagnold, and yes, especially Dumbledore.
Fudge wants to keep him there, so the Malfoy kid will get the Black Lordship and money.
Is that enough information?
Ah, one more thing, if you remove the turban from the Dada teacher's head, you will find that he is possessed by the wraith of Voldemort.
Yours truly, Mr. Anonymous.
Hey, this really is fun! Three birds with one Spell! I am on a roll! I am great! Bow to my will! The mighty quill will conquer all! What else can I wreck… Hmm, Miley on her wrecking ball… where was I? Ah, daydreaming.
Xxxxx
The raid began at seven in the morning, a junior Auror used stealth and invisibility, removed smell and sound, and approached the bed of Won-won like a pro-Ninja, he stunned the rat, and replaced him with another rat. Another team moved to Quirrell's bedroom and ambushed him, Moody came prepared, he used a spell to bind the Wraith into the body of the host.
At breakfast, Dumbledore sighed and announced: "This morning Professor Quirrell was arrested and put in a holding cell at the DMLE. The Dada classes are suspended until we can hire a replacement. That will be all."
I think this deserves another letter. No, two letters even, I wrote them during our free Dada hour.
Dear Mr. Flamel,
I am wondering why you allowed to let Dumbledore use your philosopher stone as bait for the Wraith of Voldemort. Maybe you are tired of living? Or do you want to give Voldemort a shot at rebirth? Ah, maybe you live in France and don't give a damn about us Brits.
Oh, perhaps you gave a fake stone to Dumbledore, if that is the case, then I am sorry for my rude words.
Yours truly, Mr. Anonymous.
The second letter:
Dear Mr. Moody,
You might have missed it on your last visit, but on the first of September after dinner, the Headmaster told us to NOT Go to the Corridor on the third floor, if you don't want to die a horrible death.
Well, a lot of students got curious. Behind the door, I opened it with an alomohora, is a Cerberus, you know, a big dog with three heads? He guards a trapdoor, when you play a bit of music, the dog falls asleep.
If you go down that trapdoor, the devil snare is waiting for you. A bit of light or fire does the trick, and you enter a room with flying keys. To catch the right key, the designer of the obstacle course provides a few brooms, very handy indeed. The next challenge is a giant chess set, if you are a bit handy at chess, you will win.
Most of the students stopped at the Troll, I agree, that is a bit too much, getting a club on your skull is not advisable. Rumors said that there are two more rooms after the Troll, but I was not that curious.
If you are interested, you might take a look yourself.
Yours truly, Mr. Anonymous.
Moody didn't even wait until the next day, he came barging in with two teams at dinner. One team went to the third floor, the other team positioned themselves around the head table. Moody went in front of the head table and faced the students.
"Who of you have been to the third floor to see what can cause your imminent death?" he barked.
Idiot, if you ask it like that nobody will raise their hands, they would be too afraid to lose a body part.
I volunteered, and stood up: "I did, behind that door is a three-headed Dog, I didn't go in though, I needed to change my underwear."
When Moody just nodded, others raised their hands, one by one, and reported how far they got. Some even got to the Giant Chess Set.
Slowly, Moody turned to the Headmaster: "You are coming along with us to the DMLE, Albus, and I doubt you can talk yourself out of this one. Insanity perhaps, that would actually be believable. Minerva, you will temporally replace him but don't think you are out of the fire, this disaster is on your head too. Get your story straight Minerva, or you will share a cell with this old fool."
McGonagall was shell-shocked, in merely three weeks Hogwarts is turned upside down. One event after another shook them up, first, it was Potter, then Augusta went after Snape and pummeled him until Snape almost saw his soul go to the Light… no, to the Black Hole.
Then Peter Pettigrew happened and Quirrell got arrested on the same morning. Two days back Nicolas Flamel came to visit Albus, she did not know what happened, but there was a hand print on each of his cheeks and he used a whoopee cushion to sit on. Now this, Albus is getting frogmarched out of the Great Hall between two Aurors. That will get in tomorrow's paper, she could already see children rush to their dorms to write a letter. Could this get any worse?
Xxxxx
Yes, it got worse, the next day the Daily Garbage had the front page devoted to Dumbledore, it was a joint effort with Solicitor Tonks, because my home life was shown and the man responsible for it. The picture of Dumbledore escorted out of the Great Hall was a nice touch.
Daphne asked: "Harry? Why do I have the feeling that you caused all of this?"
I shrugged: "Maybe you are a Seer? Tell me, can you See what is going to happen next week? Oh! Predict my future! Is my wife pretty?"
Tracey commented: "That was a nice diversion, Harry, but you did not deny or answer Daphne's question, did you cause all this mayhem?"
I protested: "Tracey! Daphne was about to predict my future! It is important to know I can get a pretty one!"
"You probably end up with Daphne, Tracey, Lisa, or Hermione." said Zack, "they are the only ones that have the nerves to be around you."
"Don't drag me in this, Zacharias!" said Lisa, "My bet is on Tracey and Daphne, Daphne needs to keep the Greengrass name, so Tracey and Daphne will end up with Harry."
"Will end up?" I asked, "Like I am the last choice? After me comes a Troll? I am a Prime Specimen of the Wizarding Race, thank you very much! I found out last week I have a fan club! My fan club is even bigger than Lockhart's fan club!"
I looked at Tracey: "Although I must say, marrying you and Daphne is at the top of my wishing list. So are Lisa and Hermione."
A lot of Fan Fiction has Harry hooking up with them, as for me? Getting the Horcruxes done is my priority, after that, I am out of here, and the local Harry can clean up the mess I leave behind. My comments got the girls blushing red hot.
I shrugged: "Relax, pretty girls, I am eleven years old, that is four years too soon to think about dating, let alone to discuss marriage."
Zack killed my comment: "Not in the Wizarding World, Harry, I am betrothed with Perenelle Vance, she starts Hogwarts next year." he grinned evilly, "I bet a lot of girls from our year are not betrothed because their parents want to catch the Boy-Who-Lived for their daughter."
I paled: "You got to be kidding me! Do these things really happen? What am I, a bloody Pokemon?"
Lisa teased me: "You better get used to it, Harry, you are the catch of the decade, famous, rich, and the Heir of an old Line. What is there not to like? I bet your Magical Guardian signed your contract already."
Fuck me! That is possible! It is one of the favorite storylines from Fan Fiction, I burn his beard off if Dumbledore and Molly hook me up with Ginny Weasley. Six older brothers-in-law are any man's worst nightmare. I have to write a letter to Tonks to check it out.
I groaned: "Son of a bitch, that is going to suck balls if that is true."
From four sides came "Language, Harry!"
"Alright... Male offspring of a female bovine, this is going to intake testicles… nope, the first line sounds better, girls." Why they always say Language, I don't know, it still is English last time I checked.
Daphne asked: "Do you think your Magical Guardian signed a betrothal contract, Harry?"
"It is possible," I answered, "But I bet I can get out of it. My Solicitor is building a case against that man for criminal neglect and abuse of Power."
Zack grinned: "Girls, you heard him, he is still on the market, Tracey, claim him if I were you, or Hermione? You have a claim too."
"Why are you my friend again, Zacharias?" I asked, "I thought bros come before ho's"
He shook his head: "Nope, that is only true if you are gay, remember, Ho's always take the first spot. Mum taught me that."
Bloody mommy's little boy, now I have to wait for Tonks Sr. to see if I have a contract or not, I am fucked either way though. My new mission? Horcrux hunting! I have to get out of here.
Xxxxx
On the seventh floor a small boy, me, was pacing next to a wall opposite a tapestry of dancing Trolls. A door appeared and I got inside the Room of Lost Things. Jack Pot! You would think, no fucking chance for that.
Imagine a poor orphan like Tom Riddle finding this room, don't you think Riddle looted this place clean? Even if he found this room in his seventh year, he would have picked the most valuable items and sold them to Borgin and Burkes. I doubt Tom had money trouble after that. A few extended bags can carry a lot, or trunks with a featherweight and shrink to the size of a matchbox, and Tom walks out the door with a lot of goodies.
No doubt, others found this room too and took the valuable stuff, only fools would let it behind. So this is a real junkyard. At best, I can have the last fifty years worth of loot, or Tom must have stashed some of it here for a rainy day when he got here for a job interview.
My mission is to find the Tiara first, the vanishing cabinet is not here, the Weasley twins will shove a Slytherin in it in my fifth year. Crap, this place is big, ok, let's think this through, I am in a panic, and have to hide that potion book. So I go for the main lane and about twenty to thirty yards in. Then I need to mark this place… a bust and a wig, with the Tiara on top of it.
Three days later, using all my free time, I found it! With my Dragon hide gloves I put the Tiara into a leather book bag. That brings me to another dilemma, what am I going to do with it?… Basilisk venom… Crap, I have to kill the Basilisk? That is not my idea of fun, and no way in Hell am I going to talk to it. That might work, or I might end up as snake chow… What to do… my options are limited, so are my spells…
I have it! I took the Tiara out and put it on the leather bag, I pointed my wand at it and yelled: "DIE!" it didn't do shit, "KILL!" "DIE DIE DIE!" "KILL KILL KILL!" I focused all my anger on it and roared: "DIE ALREADY YOU SHITTY THING!" Nope, that didn't work either, it got rid of my stress though. I have to visit Myrtle tomorrow.
5 Basilisk hunting.
No, I need help, it is time the adults do their job. Tomorrow is Saturday, I can work with that. The important thing is to keep ROB entertained. Easy peasy.
At breakfast, I placed myself next to Nimmy: "My most beautiful gorgeous cousin, is it true that you want to be an Auror?"
Tonks looked suspiciously at me: "I do, What are you getting at squirt? This is not an innocent question. You are a troublemaker, I just know it!"
I grabbed my chest and gasped: "Miss Nim! My most favorite babysitter in the world! You are wounding me! And to know you used to change my diapers and give me sponge baths." I held my hand up and continued, "But, you are partly right, I am in need of your expertise and your skills for a business venture."
Tonks frowned: "What kind of business venture? If it is an indecent one then you need a whoopee cushion too like Dumbledore."
"Nah," I told her, "It is going to be an adventure, trust me."
Still a bit suspicious she nodded: "Alright, after breakfast. You made me curious."
Xxxxx
"Alright, squirt, we are alone, spill it out. What do you need from me?" she asked when we were in an empty corridor.
"Well, first we need to find a Ghost named Myrtle, do you know where she is?" I asked.
"Moaning Myrtle? What do you need her for? She is annoying, and scares everyone away in her toilet." complained Tonks. "But I'll bring you to her."
Tonks pointed at the door of the bathroom on the second floor: "Here, Myrtle's hideout, do you want to go in?" she asked.
"Not so fast, Auror Nim, examine the door for alert spells, for example, one that alerts if males enter the bathroom. I bet you know those spells."
Tonks swore: "Morgana's dried out cunt! That is how Mum always comes home on the worst possible moments, that sneaky…"
She let her head down and sighed: "Outsmarted by a little kid with less than a month's education."
I protested: "Hey! This little kid has six years of Primary school behind his belt! I can read! I can write! I know my numbers, thank you very much!"
"Yeah, and I bet you are potty trained too" She dryly said while casting detection spells at the door, "An alert for males, and an identification spell. Although those identification spells only work if they have your Magic signature… which they have, we are registered in school. Now what, squirt?"
"Now, my sexy Auror, can you move that spell next to the door, so I can get in undetected?" I asked, "Only for today, mind you, I am not that kind of pervert."
"Now, that is a load off my back," she mocked, "You had me worried for a moment, what are your kinks then little perv?" she asked while moving the tracker and ID spell a few feet away from the door.
"I don't know yet," I shrugged, "Right now I am trying the mature woman path, you can tell me later how I am doing so far."
"So far you are seconds away from getting your bits hexed off," she growled, "that means you are not doing a good job, little kid."
"Hold your Pegasuses, woman!" I back-paddled, "You are my first try, give me some slack, please. Can I go in now?"
"Yeah, cheeky brat, you can go in now, and you have yet to tell what business you are going to do, remember that your bits are in danger if it is for something perverted," she warned me.
I better keep it clean, I kind of like my bits where they are. The only spell I would allow on it is a lubrication spell… and a cleaning spell too of course. Around it a bit of trimming spells, you know to prevent hairballs… where was I? Ah, Myrtle's bathroom.
We entered Myrtle's bathroom, I called out: "Myrtle? Are you in?"
I must say, seeing Myrtle coming out of the toilet is kind of disgusting, the only plus side of being a Ghost is that nothing keeps sticking to her when she gets out of her bowl. Like I said: yuck.
"What are you doing in my Toilet?" she demanded, "No boys are allowed in here!"
"No?" I asked, "Not even when it is urgent? For example, if I ate something wrong and need a number two?" I held my hand up and said: "But that is not what I came here for, I wanted to ask you a few questions. You are quite famous you know?"
"I am?" she started smiling, "How and where did you hear of me?"
"At St Mungoos and even Gringots were telling me stories about the youngest Ghost at Hogwarts," I said, "They said you died a tragic death, I was curious how and where you died in Hogwarts." I can't believe I am buttering up to a Ghostly girl, but then again, she was fifteen when she died, so well in my target practice range.
Eager to tell her tragic story she said: "Well, I was crying in here, that harlot Olive Hornby was bullying me again when I heard something move and a voice started hissing, it was a boy's voice, so I came out and wanted to say that no boys are allowed in the girls bathroom… then I died. The last thing I remember was looking at yellow eyes."
I turned to Tonks: "Well Auror Nim, can you solve this crime? I heard about Myrtle in St Mungoos when I was talking to a nurse about dying and coming back to haunt my relatives."
Tonks was puzzled, Myrtle came out of her cubicle, saw yellow eyes, and died? She went to the booth and came out, turned, and looked at what she was facing, it's a sink.
She got closer to inspect it, "Oh that sink is out of order, it didn't work even when I was alive." commented Myrtle.
Tonks nodded absently while looking it over, "The only odd thing is this snake engraved on the faucet, but that doesn't get someone killed is it? And there are detection spells on the faucet, the same as on the door."
"Maybe it is a secret passage, I heard Hogwarts is loaded with those. Those hissing noises could be the password to get in," I said. Yeah, I need to speed things up a bit, Myrtle has an annoying pitch in her voice.
Tonks said: "If that is true, a Parselmouth opened the passage, and the last one was… Morgana's saggy tits! You are telling me You-Know-Who killed Myrtle?"
"Of course, I don't know who, I don't even know who you are talking about. Who is it?" I asked, with a puzzled face.
"You-Know-Who! He was a Parselmouth! I am telling you!" she almost screamed.
"Nim! You know who you are talking about! But I don't know who is your know who, tell me who is your who? Is it someone I should know who he is?"
She glared at me: "You know damn well who I am talking about, you little shit. I am not saying his name."
I shrugged: "You don't even know his name, Nim, or do you believe Voldemort is a real name? Running from death in French is a real name? It is almost as ridiculous as You-Know-Who. All right, we established that Ran From-Death is responsible for killing Myrtle, did he have yellow eyes?"
Tonks shook her head: "No, last known statements said his eyes were red."
I am spoon-feeding now: "What creature can kill with a stare and is related to Parselmouths?"
"It has to be some kind of snake," Tonks thought out loud, "Rumors said that Salazar Slytherin had a monster hidden in his secret chamber… No bloody way! This can't be the entrance to a secret chamber! These are the girls' toilets!"
I shrugged: "Maybe he was into little girls? Dumbledore is into little boys, why can't Salazar have some girls? Do we have to hiss to that sink to open it? What is a Parselmouth anyway?"
"Parselmouths are people that can talk to snakes and let them obey their commands," Myrtle answered. The Slytherin line was known as Parselmouths. The Gaunts too, but that line ended."
"The only possible snake that can kill with their eyes is a basilisk, a class six creature, there is a basilisk in Hogwarts?" she whispered.
"Probably, how do you kill one of those?" I asked.
"With at least fifty experienced Wizards in front of me for sure!" Tonks almost shouted at me.
"Or with a rooster," said Myrtle, "They can't stand the crow of a rooster, I read it in a book."
Let's speed it up a bit: "Two things to do then, opening this passage, and getting some roosters along. I can hiss to snakes too, let me try it. But first, move those detection spells somewhere else."
§Open up§ I hissed, it was totally freaking Tonks and Myrtle out when the sink moved away and a slide appeared, no way am I going to slide through some pipes with fifty years of dirt on it. §Stairs§ changed the slide into stairs.
"You are a Parselmouth!" said Tonks softly, "Morgana's tits! You are a Parselmouth! I can't believe it, a Parselmouth!"
"What is so special about it? Snakes don't have that much to tell you, they care for three things, food, warmth, and a fuck once a year. I know, I asked it." I commented, "Now, how do we get some roosters here?"
"Call for a house elf," offered Myrtle, "they can bring them here if you ask it."
"Can I have a house-elf here please?" I said out loud.
One house elf popped in: "What's the student be needing from Mippy?"
"Hello, Mippy," I said, "We need some roosters, live ones that can crow out loud. Can you bring a few here, please? It is only for an hour or two at most."
Mippy looked at me for a bit, and popped away, a few seconds later he returned with two roosters, he handed them to me and said: "Call Mippy when the student is done." and he popped back out.
I grinned to Tonks: "Lead the way, my hero. Immortal glory is in our grasp, songs will be sung about the Boy who lived and his Basiliskslayer, the fair Maiden Tonks-don't-call-me-Nymphadora."
Tonks was freaking out, she didn't even react to Nymphadora, I said: "Snap out of it Honey! I will lead the way… I have my hands full, can you do a Lumos?"
"We are coming too" came from the door, "and why are you calling Tonks Honey?"
Crap, they must have followed me, Daphne, Tracey, Hermione, and Lisa were standing in the doorway.
"You are not going to hog all the glory when you're going to explore Slytherin's secret chambers! We want it too." Daphne demanded, "If there was a basilisk, it will have died a long time ago."
This is getting dangerous, bringing Tonks along is risky enough, four girls more? Ah, wait until they see the shed skin in the tunnel, that will scare the crap out of them.
"Come along then, this might be dangerous you know?" I said.
Lisa patted my back: "I'll bet these chickens will protect us, Harry. Lead the way, my Hero, and why did you call Tonks Honey? Are you into older women? We heard you flirting with her. Are we not good enough for you?"
"I won't answer that question Lisa, ask it again when I am fourteen. Come, let's go down." I evaded that pitfall, there is no good answer for that.
I closed the sink behind us, in case that basilisk does a runner, it won't get outside. Tonks lighted the way, at the bottom of the stairs, no, no skeletons at all, remember, snakes swallow it all; if there would be something on the floor, it would be snake shit. Although the chamber is closed, how would it get here? I'll worry about it later.
The girls gasped when we reached the shed skin, I commented: "This will get us some galleons, no doubt, we will come back for it later."
That got their tongues in action, Daphne called some numbers, Hermione divided it into six, Tracey, Lisa, and Tonks were in shopping mode already.
At the big door with the snake motives, I got serious: "Tonks, petrify these roosters and put a compulsion charm on them to crow and to keep on crowing. When we get inside, conjure a few big mirrors to hide behind, put them in front of this door. When I call the snake out, you revive those roosters, and the girls will do a Lumos to light up the chamber. If this goes wrong we run away, and I close the door, with a bit of luck he will look in a mirror and drop dead."
Am I crazy to involve some kids in this?… yeah, you are right, it is crazy, 75% it will work out, 20% we have to run for it, 5% we end up as snake chow.
§Open§ Without a sound, slowly the door opened, Tonks went to work right away, she silently erected some walls and conjured big mirrors against the walls. The girls took positions behind the mirrors, while I put the roosters halfway into the room.
Tonks got ready to revive the roosters, and I went to the ugly statue, a last look at Tonks, who nodded, §Speak to me greatest of the Hogwarts four!§ I could not remember the correct phrase, but it worked.
§Who is calling? Who dares to wake me up? Who will sate my hunger? Prepare to die! § asked a deep ancient voice. My courage was happy that I took a bathroom break an hour ago, or I would have shat myself.
"Tonks! Wake the roosters! Girls! Lumos, now!" I yelled when I ran for cover, that snake sounded really pissed off. Tonks revived the roosters and hid behind the mirrors.
"Never mind hiding here, get the fuck out so I can close the door," I yelled, that voice freaked me out.
We rushed outside, §Close the goddamn door!§
When the door was closed, I sighed relieved: "Girls, you can't believe how scary that snake was, a hungry snake even."
Hermione asked: "What did it say? All we heard was some loud hissing. Do you think it is dead?"
Tonks said: "I hope it is dead, by the sound of that hissing, it must be enormous. Who is going to check it out?"
WTF? All fingers are pointing at me? Where is the emancipation? What about equal rights between men and women? They are rewinding women's rights back for a hundred years that way. Sigh, I guess I can't escape this.
"Tonks? Can you conjure a shield that I can carry? Even when it is dead, those eyes can do a Medusa on my ass. And I need something to cover the eyes with." I asked.
Tracey said: "Wait a bit, Harry, my heart is still pounding too fast. That hissing was terrifying. I need a few more minutes."
"Me too," said Daphne, "I never thought a Basilisk can live that long, we thought you were trying to scare us to make you look good."
"I resent that!" I said, "I always look good! I don't need a Basilisk for that. And to be clear, I did warn you, girls."
Lisa sighed: "You did, Harry, but we wouldn't miss the chance to explore a secret tunnel, that alone was an adventure."
In the meantime, Tonks conjured a small shield, "Here my brave Hero, face the snake and win our favor."
"Yes," grinned Tracey, "we will sing songs about the Boy-Who-let-the-roosters-crow and his fair maidens."
"I thought your heart was still pounding in overdrive, Tracey?" I asked, "Now you are composing songs? I am hurt."
Hermione thought to be funny too: "Tracey does the songs, I will write the books, Daphne and Lisa do the sales and PR. Tonks will handle the security."
"And I will get eaten if that thing isn't dead… I get it, then it will be a sad song." I grumbled.
I took a deep breath, §Open§ I rushed in when the door opened wide enough to pass through, and shouted §Close!§ I better not risk them more than I already did, I tried: § Lights! § hmm? It worked? One rooster was still crowing his lungs out, the rest of the room was silent, with my shield raised, I advanced into the room, close to the statue, I bumped into the body of the basilisk.
Lucky me, the snake bites the dust, kicke… no, it can't kick a bucket, anyway, it is dead. With my eyes closed I went with my hands over its body in search of the eyes. When I finally found them, I covered them both. With that danger out of the way, I opened the chamber again and let the girls back in. Tonks dispelled the poor roosters, so they could shut up, the poor animals were panting from exhaustion.
"The eyes are covered," I told them, "Tonks can you let those covers stick, so it won't accidentally fall off and petrify us?"
Tonks silently nodded while she looked at the basilisk, she snapped awake and said: "That is a freaking big, enormous, huge Basilisk, Potter! I can't believe that you conned me to come along with you."
I grinned and raised my wand: "We, Nymphadora Tonks, Daphne Greengrass, Tracey Davis, Hermione Granger, Lisa Turpin, and Harry James Potter, claim the carcass of the Basilisk we slew to remove the danger from the school. So, Mote, It Be!"
That made a nice light show, Tonks was the first to realize what happened: "We are going to be bloody rich! The claim got accepted by Magic, that was what the glow was for! Look at the size of that thing! The skin alone is worth a fortune!"
Daphne nodded: "Yes, that and the venom, the heartstrings, especially the eyes, those are intact, they will be fighting for a piece of the carcass."
Hermione asked: "Who is going to slaughter it? I doubt any of us can do that, it will take weeks to do it ourselves."
"I can ask my account manager to supervise the rendering, or does someone have another idea?"
Tonks said: "We have to get the message out, Harry, my dad is your lawyer, he can negotiate your part of the sale, and my part too." she looked at the other girls, "Magic accepted the claim, so it will be divided in six equal parts, no matter who does the talking. You can involve your parents too, except you Hermione, your parents are Muggles, and have no say in the Magic world."
Tonks stopped Hermione from shouting in anger: "Stop it, Hermione, your Magic Guardian will decide what will happen with your share, that will be Professor McGonagall." Tonks looked thoughtful, "I fear your part will disappear in the pockets of someone else. Hogwarts, Dumbledore's, or the board of governors to name a few."
Daphne shook her head: "No, not if one of our families makes her a ward, or put her under family protection." she looked apologizing at Hermione, "That rules my and Tracey's family out, we are considered Dark aligned, and the rest will protest against it, claiming that we will steal it from you."
Lisa sighed: "So is ours, Hermione, one generation ago we were considered half-bloods, the pureblood faction would walk all over us, the Tonkses too. And take everything." she looked at me and said, "Your only chance is with The Boy Who lived, to keep your share."
I protested: "How on Earth am I supposed to do that? I am in a battle with my Magic Guardian myself! I mean, Hermione, if it is in my power I would do it in a heartbeat."
Crap, those words are going to bite me in the ass. The girls huddled together to do their pow-wow, while I explored the statue the snake came out from, inside I found some more skins and a lot of shit. Bummer, no secret hideouts or secret doorways, maybe I'll find some snake motives when the chamber is cleaned.
Tonks called me back, "Harry, we might have a solution for Hermione's part."
I sighed: "And I probably won't like it by the looks on your faces."
"That depends, Harry," she said, "You have to claim Hermione's share for yourself as the main contributor to the hunt. You can put it in a vault to her name and seal it until she reached seventeen."
Daphne commented: "You can put it in a contract or take a Magic vow to treat her fair."
Tracey added: "There is another way, a betrothal contract, that will secure her part too, but we don't want that to happen."
Tonks grinned: "No, they want that contract for themselves, don't you?"
"I'll take the vow." I said before they could answer it, "Is that alright with you Hermione?"
"Yes it is, Harry," she sighed relieved, "Mailing my parents that I am betrothed in my first month at school is not something to look forwards to. I mean, I like you, but not enough to marry you."
"I will survive, Hermione, you can always change your mind." I raised my wand: "I, Harry James Potter, claim the share of the carcass of Hermione Granger to hold in her name until she reaches seventeen and can handle her accounts for herself. So, Mote, It Be!"
That takes care of it I hope, by the looks on their faces tells me I made the right decision.
"Tonks!" I shouted, "It is a Hogsmeade weekend, so go out and floo to your parents and get things started. Girls, grab a chicken and follow me."
Xxxxx
Mippy returned the roosters, while Tonks rushed out to Hogsmeade.
Myrtle asked: "Did you find the Basilisk? What happened?"
I smiled at her: "We killed the beast, Myrtle, it was a big Basilisk, did we avenge your death?"
Myrtle nodded: "I think you did, I am grateful, Harry Potter, I feel I can move on now."
"Say hi to my Mum and Dad, will you." I asked, "Tell them I hope it will take a long time for me to meet them. Bye, Myrtle."
"I will, bye, Harry Potter." That was quite emotional, all the girls had tears in their eyes, me too by the way, it is not every day you can send a message to the afterlife. It got me my first hug pile.
We stood still for a minute until I sighed and said: "Thank you, girls, this was my first hug in ten years, I will cherish this memory forever."
I straightened up and said: "Enough of these sappy thoughts, let's find the others and explore this castle."
"No," said Lisa, "We go to our dorm first and take a shower, even with CLEAN I feel smelly and dirty."
"Yes, us too," said Daphne, "then lunch, we do the exploring after that."
We sat at the Puff table next to Zack, Nev, and Meg… Megan, we decided to keep the Basilisk a secret until it was sold. It is better not to attract the vultures. By now everyone was getting used to seeing us sitting together, Zack spent more time at our table than at the Puffs, even the teachers were happy to see inter-house friendship if only Griffindor and Slytherin would bond too…
Megan and Neville were good friends with Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot, so we made quite a big group, ten firsties exploring the secrets of Hogwarts. We made a lot of noise too. Our first visit was in the dungeons, close to the Badger's den, I saw the painting with the fruit and tickled the pear.
When the pear giggled and the door appeared, we moved inside, this is one HUGE kitchen! Seeing it or reading about it are two completely different things. We got surrounded by house elves, I loudly said: "Dear elves! We, the First Year students of Hogwarts, are thanking you for your excellent care and your very tasty food! If any of you want something, we will do everything possible to get it for you. We see you all as our family."
Overkill? Yeah, by the look of it. They jumped us and grabbed hold as if they were Koalas and wept like little children. Three awkward minutes later, we sat down with a cup of tea and very tasty pastries, it was quite worth those three minutes.
Xxxxx
"Are you going into politics, Harry?" asked Zack, "You played the crowd like a fiddle, those elves will walk through fire for you now."
"Nah," I answered, "that is too much trouble, my goal is to be rich and have a pretty wife. Not necessarily in that order. I read in a book that if you want to live a long happy life, you have to treat the one that cooks your meals very well, or you won't live long or happy."
Hermione commented: "Harry is right, make the cook mad, and he might spit in your food. Mum told me that, always be polite in a restaurant she said."
Slowly we went up to the seventh floor, I led the way to the tapestry of Barnaby and his dancing Trolls, and paced before the wall, imagining a big room with some training dummies. I might as well show them everything, at the pace I am going, I'll be out of here by Christmas.
"Hey, check this out!" I called, and opened the door "This is perfect for us!"
As true Ravenclaws, Hermione, Lisa, Daphne, and Tracey rushed to the bookcases, Zack and Neville went to the dummies, Megan, Susan, and Hannah relaxed on the couches.
Hannah said: "This is a nice room, comfy couches, a nice fireplace, good company, some cool drinks would be nice to."
As by a miracle, a pitcher with cold fruit juice and ten glasses appeared on a table.
"Thank you elves, you are the best!" The others joined in the praise of the excellent service. As I said, there is nothing wrong with buttering the house elves up, They work twice as hard for you if you do.
We had fun that afternoon, we read a book, practiced our spells, and even learned new ones.
At dinner time Daphne asked: "Spill it, Potter, how come you know so much about this castle? First the kitchen, now this room, Myrtle…"
Damned, she is a sharp one, What do I say… I have to lie my ass off, telling I read it in a book… that might work!
"When I was nine years old, I found a book in the attic of my relatives, it was about a Magic castle with all kinds of Magical things and adventures. My Mum wrote that book, I realize now that it was her journal or diary, but for me, it was a fantasy book that my mother wrote. I wasn't even halfway in the book when my aunt saw it and took it away. My uncle burned it in front of me, telling me to straighten out and read books about pirates, cowboys, and Indians, and that sort of thing."
I shrugged: "I thought it was nothing more than a fantasy book until I arrived here and everything checked out as she wrote it." by the look on their faces they are swallowing my bullshit… wrong mental picture. Damn, that picture is going to be hard to get rid of.
Xxxxx
When we got to the dinner table, Tonks grabbed me, and placed my face between her boobs in a bear hug: "My sugar daddy! You are going to be so popular, it is scary. Even the Goblins want a piece of you!"
6 I am RICH!
I am in heaven, and if Tonks doesn't ease her grip, I'll stay in Heaven. As much fun as feeling boobs on your face is, breathing air is a tat more important, although death by boobs is a popular way to go, only death by fucking, and Truck-San are topping it.
Well, for as long as I can hold my breath, I will savor it. While Tonks was babbling about Goblins, my arms went around her back, and my hands explored the backside of the female species, once that was done, they went down and had their first encounter to the softness of the female butt. I must confirm that Nymphadora is a prime example of the female part of the Human race.
When I was running out of air, I groped her butt a bit firmer. Tonks froze up and realized what she was doing, and what that little bastard, me, IS doing. More, she looked around and noticed she was in the Great Hall getting her ass groped by a firstie, most males had a glazed dreamy expression on their face, some females a jealous one.
Embarrassed, she let go and hissed: "Lose the grip or lose the hands, little shit. We will talk later about your punishment."
Gasping for air, I answered: "Bring it on, Nim, I can die a happy bloke. I just crossed off two lines from my bucket list."
A frosty voice behind me asked: "Oh? What else is on that Bucket list, Potter?"
I slowly turned around and looked at four girls with a face that promises pain at the wrong answer. If I mention A Harem, that would end with a kick at my bucket.
"Not much more, Daphne," I said, "I already crossed off on having good friends and four wonderful girlfriends."
Tonks chuckled: "Out of the cauldron, into the fire, very smooth, squirt, it was nice knowing you."
Lisa glared at me: "We will discuss this after dinner, Harry, you made some serious social errors just now."
I got worried when I saw Zack and Neville shake their head. I rewind in my head what was said and done and came out blank. It must be a girly custom that I broke. Dinner was done in an icy atmosphere, meh, if you are used to having dinner with the Dursley's this still feels cozy to me.
Xxxxx
After dinner, Lisa, Hermione, Daphne, Tracey, and Tonks dragged me upstairs to the seventh floor, can you believe those shitty Badgers didn't follow? Zack and Neville even waved me goodbye when they watched me getting dragged away.
On the seventh floor, I grinned when they were searching for that room, I paced three times before the wall and the door appeared. Hah! I'll keep the room my secret if I lose a limb or two today.
Tonks was amazed: "I never found this room, and I thought I explored the whole castle by now."
"I want to know how and why the door suddenly appeared." said Hermione, "It must have been triggered by something, Harry, did you use your Parselmouth?"
"Nope," I answered, "But can you finally tell me what you girls are mad about?"
"For one," said Tonks, "You were shamelessly groping my bum in public. That is simply not done."
"Hey! What about your hug?" I protested, "That was shameless too! I could not breathe at all."
"That was an adult hugging her little cousin, you brat! There was nothing shameless about it." she fumed.
"Then why was that adult calling her little cousin Sugar Daddy? What does a Sugar Daddy have to do?" I shot back, that last question will get her off my back I hope. She blushed and didn't know how to answer that.
Daphne came to her rescue: "That still doesn't excuse you from the fact that you attacked Tonks's virtue in public. By doing that you embarrassed the four of us."
"Huh? How did I do that?' I asked, "I could not get any air, and I admit I took some liberties and groped her butt to get out of her grip. How does that embarrass you four?"
Tonks grinned: "That is obvious, squirt, they staked a claim on you, and you were fishing outside their pond."
Bloody fuck? They tagged me? They threw their Pokeball and caught me? I thought only males were hunting for partners.
I sighed: "Girls, I am eleven years old, and never even had a single friend, there will be a lot of these social mishaps before I learn them all." I looked at them and continued, "But if it will ease your mind, my first girlfriend will be one of you." that removed the angry looks from their face, they even were a bit embarrassed by my statement.
I turned to Tonks: "Spill it out Nim, what made those Goblins so very happy? And why am I your Sugar Daddy?"
Tonks blushed: "I showed my memory of our hunt to Dad, he called your parents to Gringotts, Daphne, Tracey, and Lisa, and showed that Memory to them all."
She looked at me and said: "The first thing they noticed was that you did not need our help at all, you planned it all in advance, and were guiding me to solve the secret. You would not even need our help to kill that Basilisk." she looked at the girls, "In other words, he gave us a present by sharing the profits of selling that Basilisk."
She sighed: "And it is a huge present, a thousand-year-old Basilisk, one bigger than an elephant, that made those Goblins drool. We are talking Millions, Harry, that is not the kind of money to throw around, or spend on girls."
"Daphne, Tracey, Lisa, you know our society," said Tonks, "Can you predict what your parent's reaction will be next?"
Daphne groaned: "Harry, you offered an alliance to our families. Worse, by naming us personally instead of naming our family, you made a down payment on us."
"A down payment?" I asked, "What did I buy? I just divided the profits of that basilisk into equal parts."
Lisa shook her head: "No, Harry, you provided a huge amount of money to stake your claim on us."
Tonks dryly commented: "It looks like Zacharias Smith won't be the only one with a betrothal contract, Harry." she chuckled, "Don't worry about me, Dad will regard this as paying him for his services, so thank you for securing my future, squirt."
"Tomorrow after breakfast, Dad will come with a delegation from Gringotts to inspect the carcass," said Tonks, "the parents will be there too, your parents, Hermione, will be represented by my Dad."
"Not Professor McGonagall?" asked Hermione, "You said she is my Magical Guardian."
"No," said Tracey, "Harry claimed your share remember? He will set your vault for you up, as only Magicals can own a vault in Gringotts"
"What if I say I really needed your help?" I asked, "Will that solve anything?"
"Only if you are prepared to take a vow on it, Harry." said Daphne, "the advantages they get with a family alliance are too big to pass on, getting added to the Potter Alliance is a big deal."
"Then someone better explains to me what a Potter Alliance is and what it does." I said, "Because this Potter doesn't have a clue."
Note to my future self, don't give presents to purebloods, they make it too complicated. And to say I only wanted some venom to kill that Horcrux.
The next three hours I got a crash course on Pureblood customs and politics, the main part meant for me is not to show any affection in public for any other than my fiancee or wife, rubbing Tonks' butt was out of line. Meh, they can't take that memory away from me… fuck! They can do that!
Xxxxx
We waited for the delegation at the Gate, being a Hogsmeade weekend, the Gate was open and twenty Goblins marched in, along with Theodore Tonks, and three men, the girl's Fathers no doubt by the look at the hugs they got from them.
"Harry," said Theodore Tonks, who is doing the introductions, "may I present Lord Cyrus Greengrass of the Ancient and Noble House of Greengrass, Lord David of the Ancient and Noble House of Davis, and Reginald Turpin of the Minor House of Turpin. Gentlemen, may I present you heir Harry James Potter, from the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter. Harry, you already met your account Manager, this is his crew to appraise the carcass."
That was a load of titles! Note to my future self, avoid purebloods like the plague.
"We met," said Blooddagger, "Galleons are wasted here. Time is of the essence too, our experts are expensive."
Nim led the way to the castle, at the entrance, McGonagall intercepted us: "What is the meaning of this Miss Tonks? Why are you bringing this group to the castle unannounced?"
Ted Tonks took control: "We are here, deputy Headmistress, to appraise the carcass of the Basilisk that six of you students killed in defense of this school. As is their due, they claimed the carcass and all of its parts as their spoils. Can you move aside please, as Account Manager Blooddagger just mentioned, his experts are expensive."
McGonagall protested: "You need the permission of the Headmaster to enter the school. Without it, you have to make an appointment for a visit."
Lord Greengrass said: "At this moment Headmaster Dumbledore is too busy to bribe himself out of Askaban, Madam, add the fact that he knew about the Basilisk below the school, he will have to use all the favors he collected so far to save his skin. Move aside please, aiding the criminal actions of Dumbledore can get you in trouble too."
Nim, took the lead again, she showed the alerts on the door and sink, clearly proving that Dumbledore knew of the Basilisk.
My § Open § still freaked everyone out, § Stairs § too, § Lights § made Nim mumbled about the Lumos she wasted on the way. The Goblins had their weapons out, ready for any surprise attack, I followed Nim, while admiring her bum, fine stock indeed.
McGonagall, who tagged along, had Hermione at her side, who was reciting facts and figures she read about the secret chamber, Minnie gasped when she saw the shed skin, while Hermione happily explained that the real Basilisk is much bigger.
At the door of the chamber, I tried: § Open up for your new owner § it might work if I claim the whole thing, you know, to get some leverage. The glow I got proved my hunch.
"What did you just do, Harry?" asked Ted Tonks, "that glow you got was the prove of a claim, you already claimed the carcass, what else did you claim?"
We entered the chamber and I answered: "I told the door to open for its new owner, I guess you are looking at my new property. Ah, look, a snake."
Nim is quite powerful, her conjurations were still standing, the wall and mirrors are still here, proving the skill and power of our Newt student. The snake gobbled all the attention though, the Goblins were crawling all over it, yelling numbers to their assistants, while my account manager was grinning madly.
Blooddagger said: "That memory proved the value of that achievement, Heir Potter, The Leaders of The Horde were very impressed, especially how you protected your mates from danger and shared the profits with them. You have their respect, and mine. What made you decide to go after it?"
Note to my future self: don't impress the Goblins too much. They will get suspicious.
I shrugged: "I needed some venom to destroy a cursed Artifact. I heard Basilisk venom is the most potent venom around, and I happened to know where to find one."
Blooddagger frowned: "You could have brought it to us, heir potter, we are quite skilled at curse breaking."
"Well, after three days of eating Pig meat," I answered, "I wasn't looking forwards to doing that again."
That stopped Blooddagger dead in his tracks: "You say that you found another of those foul things? Where is it?"
"In a dragon leather bag in my trunk," I answered, "I was planning to use a fang to stab it, that would save me the cost of your curse breakers, I heard they are expensive."
Hah! I used their greed as an argument against them, he needed a few moments to recover "Ah, Heir Potter, but our curse breakers keep the artifact in one piece, the Venom will destroy it completely. Based on the value of the artifact, it could be cheaper to use our services."
I shrugged: "You have a point, account manager Blooddagger, Ravenclaw's Tiara is worth some galleons I suppose. What are your ratings? And can you use a sheep or cow for the next one?"
Blooddagger was gaping at me: "Ravenclaw's Tiara is priceless, Heir Potter, some collectors would bid several hundred of thousands of Galleons to have it in their possession. It is worth a fortune!"
Our conversation was lost to the others, they were too busy salivating over the carcass of the Basilisk to pay attention to what we were talking about.
I grinned at Blooddagger: "You may subtract the fee for cleansing that Horcrux from the Galleons the Tiara will bring in at the auction. An auction that Gringotts will organize, I may even throw a bone at you and point you to another artifact, for a price of course."
Blooddagger frowned: "You can point us to another one? Where? Those abominations need to be destroyed at all costs. It is an insult to Mother Nature and Father Magic."
Ah? Those are our common parents? "Bellatrix has the goblet of Hufflepuff in her vault, I was planning to let Sirius confiscate her vault and get it myself. Telling you this will probably cost me a lot of Galleons."
Blooddagger exploded, he released a string of curses… I think they are curses, and got the attention of his team. A minute of yelling resulted in two elders making a Portkey and disappearing.
Blooddagger turned to me and said:" if your claim proves to be true, you will be compensated accordingly, Heir Potter." then he asked, "Do you happen to know that there are more of them?"
I nodded, I might as well get it over with: "Yep, there is one located in Little Hangleton, in the old home of the Gaunts, it has a nasty spell on it, but I would like to have the ring in one piece. I pay for the recovery of course."
I grinned evilly at Blooddagger: "Lucius Malfoy has one at home, a diary from Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka Voldemort." I smiled at his shocked face, "The last one I can get when Sirius Black gets out of Azkaban."
Blooddagger softly cursed and said: "You and I need to have a long conversation, Heir Potter, there is more to you than meets the eye. For our mutual benefit of course."
I nodded: "on our Yule break, I doubt I can get away before that. You can call me Harry if you like, I feel we will get along just fine."
The girls started to explore the chamber, a snake is only interesting for a bit, then they get bored. They found an office, cleaned out of course, Tom would hoard it like a magpie, I don't expect to find anything of value here. Meh, the search for treasure is fun too.
I pointed the goblins to the Horcruxes, get a bunch of galleons for the snake, and did it all without Dumbledore. Life is good.
Xxxxx
Blooddagger left with his crew, while Theodore Tonks took us to the Three Broomsticks to a private room. The mothers were waiting for the girls. Crap! This is meet the parents triplicated! Daphne, Tracey, and Lisa rushed to their Mothers, happily babbling about school life and the Boy-who-messed-up.
We settled down with an early lunch, when my stomach was filled, and my defenses lowered, the sharks… parents moved in for the ki… negotiations.
"We watched the memory from Miss Tonks carefully," said Lord Greengrass, "And we concluded that you gave our daughters a very big gift. You included them in the hunt but did everything to protect them and minimize the danger they were in. The reputation they gain from being on the team that hunted and killed a thousand-year-old Basilisk will open many doors for them that would otherwise stay closed for them."
"Therefore we want to join the Potter Alliance," said Lord Greengrass, gesturing to the others, "I am certain we can come to an agreement that benefits us both"
Well, that was quite the speech, on my part, what ever they want is fine except for marriage contracts, I used to be married… long time ago… the bitch kicked me out for no good reason at all. I could not help it if her sister liked to sit on my lap, or that she forgot to wear a panty… well sue me for getting a boner! Everyone would get one! That it accidentally slipped in was not on purpose at all… at least not the first time… yeah, that excuse went down the drain when she caught us doing doggy style. Where was I? Doggy style… good memories, bad divorce.
I held my hand up and said: "Sorry, Lord Greengrass, I am only eleven years old, and have not a clue about the wizarding world. I trust my solicitor to act in my best interest and will follow his advice."
Blame it on the lawyers! They are on my side for once, I hope.
Lord Davis commented: "Yes, we got the outlines of your live described to us and the actions Mr. Tonks took to correct it." he smiled at me, "We feel that we can help you out with this. Adding us to the Potter Alliance, coupled with your intentions to share the spoils of the Basilisk, gives us the right to demand the Magical Guardianship to be given to the three of us. Dumbledore can not refuse this."
"That is one of the options, Harry," said Tonks, "The best one in my opinion, but there are others, you can wait for Lord Black to be released from Azkaban to take Guardianship, but ten years in Azkaban is devastating on the mind and body."
"With us, we can force the Will to be read," said Lord Greengrass "We have a big voting block in the Wizengamot, if we can add the Potter Alliance to it, we can make a difference."
To be honest, I completed almost all my objectives, or am on the brink of having it done, what happens to Harry when I am done is not my business… did I just jinx myself? I have to think about that, ROB can be a nasty piece of shit.
I sighed: "I agree with Master Tonks, Sirius will need time to recuperate, time we don't have. So if you could get the Guardianship away from Dumbledore, then the battle will be half won."
"That brings us to the betrothal contracts," said Tonks, "Dumbledore set one up with the youngest Weasley, Ginny. We can fight that contract once the Will is read and Dumbledore's crimes are exposed. I talked it over with Heir Potter, and he said that he rather wait until he is more mature before stepping into a relationship."
He looked around and said: "I can understand Heir Potters's reasoning, who can tell he found the love of his life at eleven years old? Where can he learn from his mistakes, or even know she is the one? Can we postpone talking about contracts until he is let's say… fifteen? From what I heard today, four girls staked their claim, the same girl's Heir Potter shared the prey from his Hunt with, my daughter being the exception."
Dude! If I leave this room with a bunch of fiancees, I'll kick your ass!
Daphne raised her hand and asked: "We want to have fun first, Daddy, we don't want to think about dating and courting just yet. The claim we made on Harry is just being his best friend. We will worry about dating in a few years."
Tracey grinned evilly: "Perhaps he can practice with Nim, yesterday we heard him say he is trying the mature women's path."
She timed it! I nearly choked on my drink! "I was Joking, Tracey! And she said it wasn't working. Are you trying to get me hexed? I bet Nim has fifty boys waiting in line to woo her, she doesn't need a cheeky brat annoying her."
Hermione tried to settle my nerves: "We are too young, Harry, Nymphadora will wait for you if you are the one for her."
Sarcasm? A joke? Pure honesty? Meh, who cares, it was Nymmie's turn to choke on her drink. Anyway, I am off the hook, no fiancees and a shitload of Galleons in my vault, I am bloody rich!
Xxxxx
I delivered the Tiara in the Shrieking shack, where a Goblin took it from me, he gave me a note with the number of galleons that found their way from Trixie's vault into mine, seven figures! Having the goblins in my corner is the best! They took the lion part of the vault, but for a few words, this is a great payoff.
I think it is time for another letter or two.
Dear Miss waterbu… Skeeter,
I have read your columns with great interest, you really have a way with words, I compliment you with your articles about the previous potion professor and Harry Potter's life at home.
I wonder though, what did Dumbledore's life look like? I heard he was neighbors with Bathilda Bagshot, you know, the one from the history books and the aunt of Gellert Grindelwald, she had quite a few stories about those boys and their love life, too bad that the murde… death of Dumbledore's sister ended that relation.
Ah, true love, maybe that is why Albus didn't go after Gellert for so long, and even at the end refused to kill him and lock him up in Nurmengard instead.
Maybe that was what drove Albus to focus his attention on a brilliant Muggleborn student, some Tom Marvolo Riddle, from house Slytherin. I don't know what happened but the student turned to the dark side. He even changed his name, he made an anagram of it, it starts with I AM V
I know, it was tragic.
Maybe you can make sense of it, after all, you are the best storyteller.
Yours truly, Anonymous
That is enough fuel for the bug, another one for my favorite Auror, that is until Tonks graduates and joins then she will be my favorite. She has more parts on her body that I like, tits, and all her limbs, for example.
Dear Mr. Moody,
I came lately on the information, that Lucius Malfoy, that poor Imperio victim, is in possession of an artifact that has the ability to get Voldy aka Tom Marvolo Riddle a new body. It is a diary from Tom Riddle's school time. You know the saying that you can pour your soul in your diary, poor Tom took that literary and did just that.
You can find that diary in a secret chamber under the floor of his office or dining hall, it could be the kitchen, anyway, it is below a floor. Goblins don't like that kind of diary either.
Oh, before I forget, the Potter boy killed the Basilisk from the chamber of secrets. That is good you might think, but the Basilisk was what kept the Acromantula from hunting the children at Hogwarts.
A colony of a few hundred pony-sized hungry spiders have a great apatite, and I heard they find children yummy.
If I were you, I call the assistance of the Goblins. If they can work off their aggression, maybe they will be a bit friendlier behind their counter. Mind you, it is just a hint.
Did I miss something? Ah, Gellert is alive and well in Nurmengard, courtesy of his lover Albus.
Yours truly, Anonymous.
Another short one is needed.
Dear Hagrid,
Did you know that the Dragon Preserves are in need of someone of your expertise?
You, sir, are worth your weight in gold over there.
Charlie Weasley can get you a job interview.
Yours truly, Anonymous.
Xxxxx
Well, the next few days were exciting, to say the least. Hagrid got sacked when his pet spiders were discovered and the Aurors joined forces with Goblins to cull the colony. Good ridden for bad rubbish or something like that. Those fucking spiders joined Voldy at the last battle, so no mercy for them at all.
Rita came through! A dramatic report of a tragic love story between two young lovers that wanted to better the world, for the greater good. To be honest, she did a good job of it, at the same time Moody discovered Gellert in Nurmengard. That was the final straw for Albus, from one day to another he was out of all his jobs.
I called the house elf: "Mippy? Can I speak with you please?"
Mippy popped in: "What can Mippy do for student Potter?"
Mippy, "Dumbledore was fired yesterday, but he stored a lot of House Potter possessions in the castle. Can you bring those to me? Especially our invisibility cloak. I don't think Dumbledore is allowed back into Hogwarts."
Mippy thought about it and decided I have a point, "Mippy will return Student Potters's possessions."
That started a series of pops, first my cloak, a load of books, a pensive, a box with unidentified Artifacts, a few paintings, and I had to yell at Mippy to bring only Gringotts letters, my room was too small for all that fan mail. It is a good thing I had a room for myself.
The best news was the arrest of Lucius Malfoy for the possession of cursed artifacts of the worst kind. Rumors said that Moody told Fudge and his toad that Gringotts accidentally gave him the bank reports of Malfoy's donations, and in what vaults it went.
Lucius went on a trip to Azkaban, of course.
Xxxxx
I got a visitor! Sirius Black came to visit! The newly minted Lord Black!
"Harry! Prongslet! I finally can see you!" he happily cheered.
I coolly looked at him: "Where were you all those years?"
"Why… I was in Azkaban! You knew that! I spent ten years in that Hellhole!" he answered, shocked by my question.
"Oh," I said, "And you liked it there I bet. Harry is fine, I'll stay here for a while longer."
Sirius paled: "How can you say that? That place was the worst!"
I began to shout: "Guards! I am innocent! I did not kill anyone! I demand a trial! I will take an oath on my life and Magic! I'll take a truth potion! I am an Auror and have a right to get a trial! Voldemort is a pussy! Voldemort is a no-nose freak show!" I yelled the last words. "Well, Sirius Black did you do all that? You had ten fucking years to get a fucking trial so you could rescue me from those fucking Dursleys!"
I softly said: "For ten years I hoped that someone came to take me away from my Hellhole, Sirius Black, where were you?"