Chapter 11
Two Would-Be Invasions
The next morning, at breakfast
Saturday, 27th July
The Great Hall, Hogwarts
Hogwarts was on summer routine. No student was present in the Great Hall.
Some of the professors were out of the castle (Pomona Sprout, amongst others). The professors who remained behind were involved in individual projects instead of teaching.
Snape was relaxed (for him), because there was not one dunderhead in sight. Dumbledore was jovial. Flitwick and McGonagall were reminiscing about Lily Potter and James Potter.
The professors were carefree and relaxed when postal owls flew in, carrying a few letters; but mostly the postal owls carried copies of this morning's Daily Prophet.
Thirty minutes later
Snape—who had many unpleasant memories of Petunia Evans—was yelling at Dumbledore, "Are you an imbecile, putting the Potter brat there?"
McGonagall was yelling at Dumbledore in a thick Scottish brogue.
Flitwick was speaking scornfully to McGonagall—
"You told Albus, 'They're the worst sort of Muggles,' but what did you do afterwards, Minerva? In ten years, you've done nothing!You're as responsible for Harry Potter's wretched life as Albus is!"
"ENOUGH!" Dumbledore yelled. "I do not know what is going on, but I am sure it is only a misunderstanding, which I soon shall put right."
BLAM—Dumbledore angrily apparated out of the Great Hall.
In the back garden of Number 4, Privet Drive
By the kitchen door
Albus pointed the Elder Wand at the kitchen door's lock and cast Alohomora.
Silence—Albus heard no click.
Albus cast the Unlocking Charm again. He still heard no sounds of lock-parts moving.
It occurred to Albus to try to open the door then, even though he believed the door still was locked. To his surprise, the door opened.
Albus thought, The Dursleys must not worry about crime in their neighbourhood, if they leave their back door unlocked.
Albus kept his wand in his hand, because he expected to meet Petunia Dursley in the kitchen he now was entering.
For the first time in his life, Albus entered the house where the Boy Who Lived had lived.
Nobody was in the kitchen. Hominem Revelio told Albus that nobody, alive or dead, was in the house.
Inside the Dursley house, Albus could not begin to guess what he was seeing. In the corridor just beyond the kitchen, one framed photograph was lying on the floor, its glass broken. This turned out to be the only thing amiss in this house (other than no people being here). Nothing else was broken, nothing else in the house was disturbed and Albus saw no blood anywhere.
Albus found magical traces in the house, but they were faded enough that Albus could not tell whether a human magical, a goblin, a house-elf, a runes-sheet or a ritual had wielded the magic. Nor could Albus say with certainty when the magic had been cast.
However, no Unforgivables had been cast in this house, Albus was certain.
Albus quickly discovered that the triangular walls under the stairs were covered with (nonmoving) photographs. Not one of those photographs showed Harry.
Albus was so distracted, wondering why none of the photographs showed Harry, that he was not watching where he was walking. His lower leg bumped into something.
Albus looked down. He had bumped into the door for a cupboard under the stairs. Albus idly noted that the outside of the cupboard door had a sliding bolt on it.
Then Albus remembered a mention in the Daily Prophet, that Harry's letter had been addressed to "the Cupboard under the Stairs."
Curious Albus dropped to his knees, threw the cupboard door wide open, shoved his wand inside the small space and cast Lumos.
The mattress he saw was way too small for an almost-eleven-year-old boy. That too-small mattress had a big dried bloodstain on top of it, and had many dried blood droplets on the mattress. Albus saw dried blood droplets on the floor that surrounded the mattress.
Albus recalled all the Harry is injured or sick alerts he had been sent over the years—but those alerts always had ended within twenty-four hours. Albus at the time had interpreted the alerts ending so soon to mean that Harry was not injured too badly. Now Albus had to face a much nastier explanation: Harry had been severely injured, often, but he had healed himself quickly, using his magic.
Albus wanted to yell I did not know! But Albus knew such words were untrue. Albus had known—but had not cared enough to investigate the injuries or to stop the abuses. And these same abuses were so bad that two American strangers, seeing those abuses, had offered right then to raise Harry instead of leaving Harry with the Dursleys; and Harry had agreed right then to go with them.
Only as Albus was shutting the door to the cupboard under the stairs and he was standing up, did he wonder, Why did the wards not alert me that I had a problem?
Soon Albus was in the front garden, under a Notice-Me-Not Charm, casting diagnostic spells on the wardstone. He was shocked to discover that the wards were up and were reporting no problems. The magic-tap on Harry's magical core was still in place and was working, surprisingly, despite the American Potters having taken Harry to Saint Mungo's.
Albus realised, If they had cut the magic-tap, I would have known immediately that something was happening, and I would have rushed there to stop it.
Automobiles with blue-light tops, meaning that they belonged to Muggle Aurors, drove up then and parked at the kerb in front of Number 4. Because of the Notice-Me-Not Charm on Albus, none of the Muggle Aurors who exited the automobiles paid attention to the bearded wizard.
He heard a disembodied voice say from one of the Muggle-Auror automobiles, "Investigate situation with resident Vernon Dursley, whose employer reports he has been missing for forty-eight hours."
The Muggle Aurors conferred amongst themselves, then two of them walked up the path to the front door, whilst the rest looked in the windows of the Dursleys' two automobiles.
By then, Albus was on the move. He hurried round the house till he was in the back garden, where he apparated away.
A few minutes after Albus had apparated back to the Headmaster's Office, he had convinced himself that Harry's situation never had been all that dire—that Harry in the Daily Prophet interview had been oversensitive, and that the American Potters had taken dramatic license.
As for the blood? Active young boys injure themselves—the blood he had seen all was normal.
As for the question of Where are the Dursleys?, the answer was obvious (to Albus): Those two American Potters had magically murdered the Dursleys, then had Obliviated and had Confundused young Harry so that he would remember events differently.
Albus needed to find Harry. If the Dursleys were no longer alive, Albus would need to take Harry away from the American Potters, then would need to turn Harry over to the Weasleys to raise. Molly Weasley would make sure that Harry Potter eventually would walk willingly to his death, if Albus Dumbledore so ordered!
With those thoughts in his head, Albus walked to the place on his office wall where he kept his runes-Disillusioned safe.
In the last ten minutes, Albus had realised he no longer remembered where Potter Manor was, which was a place that John Potter had referenced in the Prophet news articles.
In this safe, Albus has kept the names, and the Floo addresses and/or Apparation coordinates, for every place he has been the Secret Keeper for, either directly by the original Secret Keeper ritual, or when the Secret Keeper had told Dumbledore the Secret, then the Secret Keeper had died.
When someone had cast a new Fidelius on one of those places, every person's memory of the location was erased; and any document that listed the location or listed the previous Secret was blurred so that it could not be read—
Ordinarily.
Albus's safe had some odd Muggle copper-screen box—a faraway cage?—built in, just inside the safe's walls. This copper box, when the safe's door was shut, blocked magic from affecting documents that were stored inside the safe.
Now Albus opened the safe, and soon found the slip for Potter Manor. The slip was written in Albus's own handwriting, though now Albus did not remember writing it. The slip listed Apparation coordinates for Potter Manor that now Albus did not remember even slightly.
Albus memorised the Apparation coordinates, put the Potter Manor slip back inside the safe, and shut the safe door.
Albus took a deep breath, before he apparated from the Headmaster's Office to Potter Manor. He knew that the American Potters would not be pleased when he dropped in unannounced, but Albus had no doubts that he could smooth over any hurt feelings he might find, and could convince the American Potters to sign Harry over to Arthur and Molly.
Dursleys-murderers the American Potters surely were, and thus theoretically were dangerous; but the Potters also were Americans, and thus were stupid enough to fall for Albus's pretty words.
Time to go! Albus thought with a smile.
OW! Merlin, I hurt! Albus thought, one second later.
Albus was lying on a muddy dirt road that was somewhere in Wales (judging by the Apparation coordinates). Albus was just outside the wards of Potter Manor—which because he had not been told the Secret this time, looked like empty farmland to him.
Albus felt as though the most muscular giant ever to walk about the Russian steppes, had thrown Albus against the hardest wall on the outside of Hogwarts Castle.
Before Albus had time to stand up, or even to sit up—
Pop-p-p-pop. Four house-elves, all showing a P on the left breast of their elf-sized work clothes, appeared nearby. The instant the four house-elves arrived, the oldest house-elf clicked his fingers, and suddenly Albus was tied up with a ridiculous amount of rope.
Two strands of rope were wrapped tightly round Albus's wand-hand; now the Elder Wand pointed at Albus's right toes, and Albus could point the Deathstick nowhere else.
The four Potter house-elves ignored Albus's demands for information, whilst they watched him warily.
Less than a minute later, a young man with Potter hair, and a young blonde, both ran up, seemingly out of nowhere. (Meaning, they just had left an area that was protected by the Fidelius Charm.) Albus's first thought was that the blonde was Veela, until he remembered reading that she was Muggle-born; Albus never had heard of a Muggle-born Veela.
The young man with Potter hair was tall and muscular, with beautiful blue eyes. If it were not for the fact that the young man had a wife, Albus would be eager to accept John Potter as a "companion." (Albus had learnt, the hard way, not to get involved with men who had wives. The rewards were not worth the melodrama.)
Now Albus demanded, "Where is Har—?"
Young John Potter had his wand out. "Accio the wand in Albus Dumbledore's hand."
Albus was shocked by the power of the spell. Five rope-strands had been tightly wrapped about the Elder Wand, yet all that rope did not hold the Wand in place after John Potter cast his Accio. The Wand wriggled under the ropes, then finally escaped.
John Potter caught the flying Elder Wand as deftly as a professional Quidditch player would catch a Snitch. As soon as John Potter was holding the Elder Wand by its handle, sparks shot out of the tip—sparks coloured green, red, gold, silver, purple, white, blue, bronze, and orange.
This was not good.
Albus the disappointed grandfather said, "John my boy, there was no need to disarm me like that."
John Potter ignored Albus; instead, he turned to the blonde. "There goes our plan to have Amelia arrest him for trespassing."
"Why?" the blonde asked.
John Potter replied, "Because the DMLE would want this wand as evidence. This is no Walton wand or ... who makes them here?"
"Garrick Ollivander," the blonde replied. To Albus, she had a strange accent.
John Potter asked the head Potter house-elf, "Greyclay, does our would-be intruder have another wand on him?"
Greyclay clicked his fingers. Albus could not see the results, but he knew he was carrying two other, hidden wands; and Albus presumed that the house-elf's magic was making those other two wands become visible to John Potter.
"So sorry, Dumbledore," John Potter said with fake sympathy, "but it seems you've lost your favorite wand. Glaze!"
A female house-elf popped over. John Potter handed her the Elder Wand with instructions to "Put this on the desk in my office." The house-elf, with the Deathstick in hand, popped away.
Albus said, in his disappointed-grandfather voice, "John my boy, you have stolen my wand."
"Indeed I have," John said, whilst grinning like a Marauder or a Weasley twin.
Albus took a breath, to try a new way to guilt-trip this American—
"Dumbledore," John Potter said with a smirk, "do you have anything to say before the Potter house-elves take you to the front gates of that third-rate school you run?"
"You must do what is right for Harry, and return him to the Dursleys. Only there can he be safe!"
The blonde huffed. "Safe from Voldemort, yes, if he ever returns. But Harry was never safe from Vernon Dursley or Dudley Dursley. I declare, even Petunia hit Harry once, using a frying pan."
John said, "In any case, the Dursleys—all three of 'em—got hauled away by the goblins. They're dead now, all three."
Albus said, "No. I know you two murdered them."
John drew his American-made wand. "The Dursleys, all three of them, died by goblin justice. Neither Paulina or I murdered the Dursleys. Neither Paulina nor I even hurt them, beyond one or two Stinging Hexes. May I die painfully if any of my statements is a lie."
Light flashed. Albus expected for John Potter to die screaming; instead, he stood in the muddy road and calmly put his wand back in his wand holster.
John stared at Albus as he said, "The adult Dursleys were executed because they stole over twenty thousand galleons from Harry and couldn't pay it back. Mudpie, or whatever his name was, was executed after he stole another prisoner-miner's breakfast tray and ate food." John shrugged. "You haven't seen the boy, have you? Trust me, he didn't need the extra food. Unlike Harry."
Albus said, sounding disappointed again, "You should make sure Harry mourns the Dursleys. They were his family."
The blonde said, "Not happening. Harry doesn't mourn a single one of the Dursleys. Mainly because he knows that if he were dead, none of them would mourn him."
John said, "But there's another roadblock to me handing Harry over to the Dursleys, or to that family of all-redheads you favor, or to anyone else. To start with, the Dursleys—before the goblins arrested them all—signed over no-magic guardianship of Harry to Paulina and me."
John then made a fist, so Albus could see his Potter Regent ring. "You see that I'm the Potter Regent, and I've claimed being Harry's magical guardian. You hear what I'm saying? Magic has made me Harry's almost-father, and you dragging me down to that corrupt legislature you're part of, won't change anything."
Albus thought, Do not be so sure.
John grinned down at Albus. "Anything else you want to tell us, before we send you away? And please, make it more believable than 'Harry needs to go back to the Dursleys.' "
Dumbledore said, "Harry has a destiny! Which you two are ruining. There is something that only Harry can do, and only I can show Harry what he needs to do in order to meet his destiny!"
"Bless your heart," Paulina said with a smile.
John Potter said, "Let me guess: Harry starving, you letting Harry be beaten almost to death repeatedly, and stealing 428 thousand galleons from his trust vault, all are part of preparing him for his 'destiny.' Dumbledore, listen up: I don't believe one word you're saying. Unlike the locals in this too-cold country, I'm not willing to worship your greatness just because of something you did back in the Forties."
Before Albus could reply, John Potter spoke again. "Greyclay, get this thief out of here! But leave the ropes on him when you drop him off."
Pop. Albus, still tied up, now found himself right outside the front gates of Hogwarts.
Albus had to summon a Hogwarts house-elf to remove the magical ropes and to elf-pop Albus over to the Hospital Wing. As Poppy Pomfrey hurried over, Albus was red-faced with embarrassment.
Albus was annoyed now. This upstart eighteen-year-old American wizard had humiliated Albus Dumbledore, and had stolen the Elder Wand that Albus had won off Gellert Grindelwald in a (somewhat) fair fight.
An hour later
It had taken Poppy fully a half-hour to heal all of Albus's injuries—including four hairline fractures. After Albus was released from the Hospital Wing, he went back to his office, where he sat quietly—
—whilst he plotted and schemed.
Abruptly Albus broke the silence. "Fawkes! Harry Potter is in danger with his murderous relatives. Go to him and bring him straight here."
Albus's red-and-yellow phoenix companion sang a sad song—and remained on his perch.
Albus had to go to Plan B. He stood up and commanded, "Fawkes, take me directly to Harry Potter."
Fawkes crooned three sad notes, then the phoenix flew over to Albus, grabbed him by the shoulder, and flamed out.
Albus appeared in a library, presumably in Potter Manor. Harry Potter stood two feet in front of Albus, and was staring at Albus with wide eyes.
All Albus needed to do was to reach out his hand—
Suddenly three house-elves were surrounding the boy. They did not elf-pop in, they silently appeared—as though they had Disillusioned themselves, and now were simultaneously removing their disguises.
All three house-elves pointed their arms at Fawkes, and six elfin hands clicked fingers.
Albus had a moment of feeling Arctic cold by his shoulder and by his head, then Fawkes dropped—clunk—to the floor.
But by the time Albus heard Fawkes's clunk, Albus had his own problems. Albus felt as though he were captured by a barbed-wire butterfly net. Helplessly Albus was pushed painfully out of the library, through the manor house, out the front door, across the lawn, and out the front gate. Since Albus still had not been told the Secret for Potter Manor's Fidelius, once Albus had been pushed past Potter Manor's front gate, Albus no longer could see the front gate.
Less than half a minute after Albus almost had laid a hand on Harry Potter, Albus again was lying in that muddy dirt road that was just outside Potter Manor, somewhere in Wales. Albus's robes were ripped up, and he was bleeding from gouges on his face and hands.
By the time Albus was back in Hogwarts, had again been treated by Poppy, and had walked back to the Headmaster's Office, time had passed. Yet Fawkes still had not returned.
Albus suspected that Fawkes had had a "burning day"—though how did this work when the phoenix had been magic-blasted with extreme cold?
It was possible that Fawkes-chick would bond with John Potter or with Harry Potter. Albus fervently hoped not.
Albus supposed it would not be too much of a problem if Fawkes-chick bonded with the Muggle-born Veela-impersonator. John Potter's wife clearly was too dim to realise all the benefits of being bonded to a phoenix.
Meanwhile, at Potter Manor
John and Paulina were sad and mournful as they buried Fawkes underneath a tree.
Who knew that an "immortal" phoenix could be killed by being hit by three house-elves' freezing spells at once?
John and Paulina were only trying to stop Fawkes from flaming away with Harry, they were not trying to kill a millennia-old bird!
That evening, at dinner
The Great Hall
Nobody wanted to speak to Albus, and he did not want to speak to anyone there. Albus ate in silence, whilst he moped about losing the Elder Wand, and about maybe also losing his phoenix.
Albus really needed for Fawkes to return. Anytime Fawkes was not seen with Albus for a long time, rumours started: "Albus Dumbledore actually is a Dark Lord!"
Rumours that were ridiculous, because everything that Albus did was for the Greater Good.
Albus barely noticed when postal owls flew in. However, Albus noticed when a Gringotts owl landed on the table in front of him.
The Gringotts owl had letters for Albus—so many letters that it was necessary for the letters to be put in a box so the owl could carry them all.
The oldest letter was dated four days ago, and said that Harry Potter had a new account manager: Axefrenzy instead of Bronzedagger. No reason was stated.
Three days ago, according to another letter, John George Potter had claimed the Potter Regent ring. Once he had done this, John Potter had claimed the magical guardianship of Harry James Potter, and Magic had accepted the claim. As a result, Albus's key to vault 687, Harry Potter's trust vault, was voided and no longer would be honoured.
John Potter, three days ago, also had ordered a thorough audit of all three Potter vaults in Gringotts London.
After this letter, the Gringotts letters to Albus became nightmarish. The Daily Prophet had reported that Albus had transferred G428 175 from Harry's trust vault to Albus's own vaults; one of the Gringotts letters said the same thing. Another Gringotts letter informed Albus that G107 000 had disappeared from Vault 14, the Potter family coinage vault, whilst Bronzedagger was account manager, "in suspicious circumstances." Albus figured out that in suspicious circumstances meant We think you and Bronzedagger stole the money, but we cannot prove your involvement yet.
Since Bronzedagger and Albus had stolen from the Potter coinage vault, reading this last letter made Albus nervous.
Chapter 12
Back in Courtroom Ten
During the next three days, July 27-July 30
John and Paulina met with a latent (Squib) solicitor who specialized in family law. Paulina took from her beaded handbag "Transfer of Guardianship of a Minor" that John and Paulina, and Petunia and Vernon, had signed. The Potters told the solicitor that he was being hired to obtain the Potters' guardianship of Harry in no-magic Britain.
John then had to correct the solicitor when he mentioned the Dursleys attending whatever hearings the judge set. John said, "Less than ten minutes after the Dursleys signed this, they were arrested by the goblins. All three of them now are dead."
Then John said to the solicitor, "We have one last thing for you." John nodded at Paulina, who reached into her beaded handbag and pulled out Harry Potter and the Scary Inferi.
John snarled, "Get those books gone!"
During this same three-day period, the last of the three magical bindings on Harry's core was removed, by John and Paulina taking turns.
Paulina used the Episkey healing spell on the now-uncursed lightning-bolt scar on young Harry's forehead. John, Paulina, and young Harry were, all three, teary-eyed when Harry's forehead was clean and unmarked for the first time since 1981.
The Potters returned to the medical clinic at Gringotts, this time to hire goblin healers to remove the tap on Harry's magical core that powered the magical wards on Privet Drive; and also to remove the health-monitoring charms that Dumbledore had put on young Harry.
(This same magic-tap, and those same monitoring charms, had remained on older Harry till he had been killed at the Battle of Hogwarts. John and Paulina were not pleased with the bearded meddler when they figured this out.)
Also removed this day by the Gringotts medical clinic: the owl-mail redirect on Harry.
As soon as the Potters returned to Potter Manor, Harry received his first owl-delivered letter: eleven-year-old Susan Bones wishing Harry, "Happy eleventh birthday!"
Of course Harry wrote Susan back, telling her, "See you at Hogwarts!"
The Potters hosted the Grangers for dinner at Potter Manor. Excited Hermione had the equivalent of a "sugar rush" (which was ironic, given her parents' profession) during the Grangers' tour of Potter Manor.
When John, Paulina, and Harry escorted the Grangers into the Potter Library, Hermione took a step inside the doors and stopped, her face filled with wonder. (Later, John almost needed a harnessed dragon in order to drag Hermione out of the Potter Library.) Paulina was quick to tell the girl that it was dangerous to read, and even to touch, any book with a white P or a red P on the spine; "And don't even think of reading the Potter grimoire!"
Hermione's favorite activity at Potter Manor was, no surprise, reading in the Potter Library. Her second-favorite activity in Potter Manor was chatting with the talking portrait of Lily Potter.
After those three days
Tuesday, July 30, 8 a.m.
Courtroom Ten, the Ministry of Magic
As John walked through the tenth-floor corridor within the Ministry, heading toward Courtroom Ten, he thought, Sometimes Dumbledore is predictable.
Dumbledore had learned last Saturday, July 27, that John was now Harry's magical guardian. The next regular session of the Wizengamot was this Friday, August 2. But in between those two dates was tomorrow, Wednesday, July 31—Harry Potter's eleventh birthday.
If Harry walked into Gringotts today and asked Axefrenzy, who was the Potter account manager, for the Potter Heir ring, Axefrenzy would refuse. But tomorrow? Axefrenzy would hand over the ring—if asked; and Harry would don the Heir ring—if he knew to ask for it; then afterward, Harry would be protected from mind-whammies except for potions and the Imperius. However, while the Heir ring could not neutralize mind-whammy potions, it would detect them in Harry's food or drink, which was almost as good.
If tomorrow John was Harry's magical guardian, John and Paulina would take Harry to Gringotts, Harry would claim his Potter Heir ring, and Harry would be protected from mind-whammies. Simple. Straightforward.
But Dumbledore did not want Harry to be protected from mind-whammies. Dumbledore wanted Harry unprotected from mind-whammies, kept away from Gringotts, and kept ignorant of what services that Gringotts could provide for Harry if he asked. Alas, all these bad things would happen if, before tomorrow, the Wizengamot would make Dumbledore be Harry's magical guardian again, then Dumbledore would hand Harry over to Arthur and Molly Weasley.
Between Molly (the opinionated, loud, and blindly loyal to Dumbledore) and Arthur (the henpecked), young Harry would be blocked from entering Gringotts from July 31, 1991 until he had five ginger-haired grandchildren.
Fuck that, John thought.
Albus Dumbledore was predictable. Predictable Albus Dumbledore had called for a special session of the Wizengamot today, the day before Harry's birthday. Dumbledore would claim that John had been sent proper notice to attend the special session—and John had no doubt in his mind that Dumbledore could wave around some sheet of parchment to "prove" that John had received proper notice.
But John had received no such notice; and fully expected that if he received such a letter at all, it would not be till some hours from now, when it would not matter.
But because Dumbledore was predictable, John, since six in the morning yesterday, had sent a Disillusioned house-elf into Courtrooms Seven and Ten, at ten-minute intervals, to see if anyone was gathering there. Sometime between thirteen minutes ago and twenty-three minutes ago, Fudge, Umbridge and other people had walked into Courtroom Ten.
Now John was himself about to walk into Courtroom Ten. Thirteen minutes ago, John had sent a messenger-Patronus to Madam Bones that told her about the odd gathering in Courtroom Ten; John suspected that Amelia's notification, like John's own, was "lost."
The last time that John/Harry had walked into Courtroom Ten, in August of 1995, he had had no plan what to do. But this time, John had a plan ready.
Paulina was smart enough to make the plan, and John was brave enough to carry out the plan. But the plan would not be needed unless Dumbledore and Fudge both did something stupid.
Now John opened the door to Courtroom Ten, took two steps into the room, cast a Tempus, and said loudly and cheerfully, "Sorry I'm late." (Tempus said the time was 8:03.)
Fudge looked unhappy. "We're still waiting on someone."
Indeed, there was no sign of the bearded bloviator in Courtroom Ten. If Dumbledore did as he had done for thousands of meals in the Great Hall, everyone in Courtroom Ten would be forced to wait between two and twelve more minutes before Dumbledore bothered to show up.
Just then, the doors were yanked open. Amelia Bones, with her short, gray hair slightly messy, rushed into the courtroom. She glared at Fudge as she strode over to the seat for the Ancient House of Bones.
John said, "Now that we're all here, let's get started."
Fudge said, "Erm..."
A whingey man in plum-colored robes asked, "Why are we here, Cornelius?"
It was John, not Fudge, who answered the question: "I'm John Potter, an American wizard. Six days ago, I became the Potter Regent. Also for the past six days, Magic has made me the magical guardian of Harry Potter. I did this because Harry's previous magical guardian, whose name you all know, was stealing from Harry's trust vault and was letting Harry's no-magic relatives starve him and beat him."
Everyone in the courtroom gasped, hearing this.
"And who was Harry Potter's magical guardian until six days ago? Albus Dumbledore, your Chief Warlock. Who by an amazing coincidence, is who called a special session this morning—on this, the day before Harry Potter's eleventh birthday. Dumbledore somehow neglected to notify Amelia Bones and myself about this special session."
"Hem-hem," the Pink Toad said. "You're lying to us. Tell us how you are here this morning, if you weren't notified about the special session."
"I won't answer your question, madam, as it would put Harry Potter's safety at risk."
John thought, Hey, it's a good excuse for Dumbles, so why shouldn't I use it?
Amelia Bones said, "I confirm that I was never officially notified about this special session, and learnt about the session only after Regent Potter sent me a message-Patronus."
John looked at Fudge and said, "Since Dumbledore called this special session and, at the least, he has a conflict of interest here, I ask you to adjourn this special session right now."
Fudge nodded. "This sounds like an excellent—"
Umbridge said, "You'd take the word of this American wizard over a proper British wizard like Albus Dumbledore?"
Fudge said, "You're right, we should wait to hear what Dumbledore has to say for himself."
John shrugged. "I asked you to dismiss today's session not for mysake, but for yours. Remember this, later on."
The Wizengamot seat-holders muttered, hearing this.
Amelia Bones said, "Regent Potter, please continue with what you were saying about the conflict between you and Chief Warlock Dumbledore, before you were"—she shot a glare at the Pink Toad—"interrupted."
John gave Amelia Bones a brief head-bow, then said, "In 1981, Dumbledore as Chief Warlock sealed the wills of James Potter and Lily Potter, so you in the Wizengamot wouldn't know that nothing in the wills allowed Dumbledore to be Harry's guardian. Then the Bearded One called in favors—and whaddayaknow, he became Harry's guardian."
The courtroom was silent. Amelia Bones was scowling. Fudge looked indecisive.
John continued, "Harry is not even eleven yet, and already Dumbledore has stolen 428 thousand galleons from his trust vault." John heard muttering among the other people present. "Now Dumbledore has called all of you here to hear him speak pretty words—words which never mean what you think they mean—then he'll call in more favors and he'll make promises. What Dumbledore wants you to do, at the end of all this, is to take Harry away from me, who is Harry's cousin, and to give Harry back to the thief, Albus Dumbledore, the supposed Defeater of Grindelwald."
Amelia Bones asked, "Dumbledore is the supposed Defeater of Grindelwald?"
John grinned. "Ask Dumbledore sometime, where Gellert Grindelwald is buried. The Bearded One never has given the New York Wand a straight answer, and your British propaganda rag never asks."
As people in the courtroom muttered, the double doors into the courtroom opened.
Dumbledore was wearing lavender and yellow-green robes with hopping blue bunnies on them. He said, "Cornelius, I'm here now. We can—"
John said, "Thief Dumbledore, you're late. Take a seat."
Dumbledore stared at John. The bearded man stood there openmouthed.
All this time, John had been standing. But even as he was telling Dumbledore to "take a seat," John now was walking across the courtroom floor to stand by the prosecutor's table. Which was twenty feet away from the chains-chair, which was where Dumbledore would try to make John sit.
John said, "Minister Fudge, I ask again that this special session be adjourned."
Amelia Bones said, "I so move."
Augusta Longbottom said, "Seconded."
Umbridge said, "No. This American has been telling lies about Albus Dumbledore, and the Chief Warlock deserves a chance to answer."
Dumbledore looked at John and said, "You have been telling lies about me?" His tone of voice added the words I am so disappointed in you.
Ignoring Dumbledore, John said, "Minister Fudge, there is a motion on the floor for adjournment."
Fudge said, "Boy, maybe you do things differently in the USA, but here in Wizarding Britain, you don't slander a hero without giving him a chance to reply."
John smirked at the colossal historical irony of Fudge speaking such words.
Fudge continued, "I rule the motion to adjourn is invalid."
Then Fudge asked, "Chief Warlock Dumbledore, why have you called for this special session?"
"Cornelius, this youth, John Potter, who is barely adult in years, has kidnapped Harry Potter and has hidden him away from me, who is the boy's Wizengamot-appointed magical guardian. I ask the good wizards and witches of this chamber to compel John to return Harry Potter to me, so that I can return to giving proper guidance to the Boy Who Lived."
John said, "It's breathtaking, so many misleading statements and bald-faced lies in so few words. What you failed to mention, Thief Dumbledore, is that the Potter wills have given you no authority for what you've done."
"Neither have the wills given you authority, John my boy. You were years away from beginning that American magical school of yours when my good friends James and Lily died. You cannot claim that they named you as Harry's guardian."
"You're right, Thief Dumbledore, their wills said no such thing. But what you don't mention is that both wills name as first choice for guardian, Sirius Black, who was thrown in prison without receiving a trial"—the crowd murmured—"despite the facts that A, Peter Pettigrew, not Sirius Black, was the Secret Keeper for the house of James and Lily Potter; and B, Sirius was Harry's oath-sworn godfather."
Amelia Bones looked angry at Harry's words.
Fudge said, "It doesn't matter. Clearly Black found a way to work round the rules. He deserves Azkaban till he dies."
Amelia Bones said, "Chief Warlock Dumbledore, Regent Potter says you are unfit to be Harry Potter's guardian because you've stolen money from his vault, you left the boy with abusive Muggles but you never checked up on him, and you threw his rightful guardian, Sirius Black, in prison without a trial, despite his innocence. How do you respond to these accusations?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Amelia, for the past ten years, everything I have done has been for the Greater Good."
Almost everyone in the courtroom nodded in agreement, except for Amelia Bones, Augusta Longbottom, a wizard who resembled Daphne Greengrass, and Lucius Malfoy.
Speaking of Lucius Malfoy, now he raised his wand—or rather, his silver snake-head cane—to be recognized. "Cornelius, may I speak?"
Fudge smiled. "Tell us what's on your mind, Lucius."
Malfoy said, "The House of Potter is an Ancient and Noble House. The boy himself is only a half-blood; but still, he deserves to be raised by a magical family of many generations, not by newcomers like someone from Elder House Dumbledore. I point out that Harry Potter's grandmother, Dorea Black Potter, was an aunt to my wife Narcissa. I ask that custody of Harry Potter be taken away from this American youth, then custody of the boy be given to Narcissa and me."
"Out of the question!" Dumbledore thundered.
John said, "It doesn't matter. Magic made me Harry Potter's guardian, so Magic must think I'm better qualified to raise him than anyone else. Which means, I'm handing Harry over to neitherAlbus Dumbledore nor Lucius Malfoy, no matter what motions you Wizengamot guys vote on today."
Umbridge said, "Don't defy us, American boy, or you will regret it."
John laughed scornfully. "The question is, why should I obey you? You in the Wizengamot are known to American magicals as a herd of bribe-taking morons, with only a few exceptions."
John bowed his head to Amelia Bones.
John continued, "Everywhere else but here, you guys are known as jokes! When Voldemort's murderous minions are brought before you, you give them either wrist-slap punishments or no punishments at all."
John gave Lucius Malfoy a meaningful look.
John continued, "Whereas the only effective way to punish killers is by killing them. Anyway, you guys in your plum-colored robes—I don't respect the majority of you, so I have no plans to obey the majority of you, and I advise you not to push me on Harry's custody."
An old and "wise" voice said, "John my boy, everyone deserves a chance to repent and to make amends."
"There you go again," John replied.
Now John looked at Fudge. "Can we end this waste of time now, please? You're cutting into my time teaching Harry about Quidditch."
Dumbledore said, "Cornelius, I have much work to do before 1 September, and young John here is keeping me from my work. I make a motion that John Potter be ordered to turn Harry Potter over to me by 11 p.m tonight, lest he face a one-million-galleons fine, as well as suffer ten years in the maximum-security wing at Azkaban."
"Seconded," Arthur Weasley immediately said.
Perhaps Dumbledore expected John to panic then, or to grovel. Instead, John sneered. "Remember, Brits, I did warn all of you."
John drew his holly-and-thunderbird-heartstring wand and pointed it at the ceiling. "I call upon Magic to judge me, and to judge those in this room who plot to take Harry Potter away from me. Judge our lives, and judge our worthiness to be Harry Potter's guardian. So mote it be." Bright light flashed.
From the ceiling of Courtroom Ten came two voices, a man's and a woman's, that spoke in unison: "Six shall be Judged."
Six people slowly rose into the air from where they were standing or sitting: Amelia, Dumbledore, Fudge, Lucius Malfoy, Umbridge, and John himself.
Amelia Bones's face looked confused: Why am I part of this?Fudge looked scared, Malfoy looked bored, Umbridge looked angry, and Dumbledore was giving John the disappointed-grandfather look.
As soon as John's upward movement stopped, which was ten feet above the floor, John's vision was blocked by purple sparkles that swirled in front of his face.
About five minutes later, the purple sparkles disappeared, and John could see again. However, he still floated in the air, and he could not speak.
The others had purple sparkles swirling around their faces. The sparkles disappeared from the face of Amelia Bones next, Lucius Malfoy right afterward, and from Fudge and the Pink Toad a few minutes later. The four others, like John, could move their eyes and could make faces, but could not speak.
John and the rest of the unsparkled five who floated in the air, as well as all the onlookers on the floor, had to wait a long time before the swirling purple sparkles disappeared from around Dumbledore's face.
From the ceiling, the bodyless man's voice and the bodyless woman's voice again spoke in unison—
"John George Potter, your faults are few and minor. You were forced to become the Potter Regent because of an ongoing crisis that was caused by Albus Percival Dumbledore. We find nothing for which to punish you, and we find you and your new bride to be worthy to raise the boy, Harry James Potter."
John slowly dropped down to the place where he had been standing.
"Lucius Abraxas Malfoy, you have murdered fifty-three nonmagical people and fifteen magical people; many people in this room are related to magical people you have killed. Your claim of 'But I was Imperiused!' was a ridiculous fiction, but you bribed Cornelius Fudge to officially accept this excuse, without him forcing you to take a magical vow or to take Veritaserum. You are unworthy of the Lord Malfoy ring, so it leaves your hand now; and you have so blackened the heart of your son Draco that the Lord Malfoy ring will not recognise him as Malfoy Head of House till he is twenty-five—if he lives so long. You are a disgrace as a father to the son of your loins; you are thus unworthy to be a guardian to Harry James Potter. You also are unworthy of life; DIE!"
Lucius Malfoy, who had been floating ten feet in the air, now fell down into the Ancient House of Malfoy chair, as onlookers screamed. The Malfoy chair tilted, dumping the blond-haired man onto the floor. Malfoy did not move or stand.
The man's/woman's voice continued, "Dolores Jane Umbridge, you have murdered people to enable you to take the office you hold now. You are a bully. You have no kindness in you, despite your simpering pretensions. Today you have schemed how you can murder John Potter, then can give custody of Harry Potter to Lucius Malfoy, in return for payment from Harry Potter's vaults. You are unworthy of life; DIE!"
Umbridge fell down to the Senior Undersecretary's chair and lay there unmoving. The Pink Toad's face stared vacantly at the ceiling.
The voices said, "Cornelius Oswald Fudge"—now Fudge looked panicked—"you are lazy, you seek out those who flatter you and you have sold your office to Lucius Malfoy, Thaddeus Nott and others who regularly hand you sacks of galleons. You do not care whether Albus Dumbledore or Lucius Malfoy is awarded custody of the boy, Harry Potter, so long as the eventual guardian is willing to slip you coins or to owe you favours. You are unworthy to be Minister for Magic."
Up until then, Fudge had been wearing his Minister for Magic badge of office: a flat, round, gold medallion that was attached to the two ends of a gold chain. Now Cornelius's gold chain/gold medallion disappeared from around his neck.
But since Cornelius was still alive and healthy, he looked relieved as he slowly dropped. He did not drop straight down, but moved sideways as he dropped, to land on the chair for the Elder House of Fudge.
Now the voices said, "Amelia Susan Bones, the desire for justice burns in you like a Fiendfyre flame. You work harder than your Aurors, and you are incorruptible. You do not seek the position of Minister for Magic, which is one more reason why you are worthy of that office."
The gold chain/gold medallion that had disappeared from around Cornelius Fudge's neck, now appeared around Amelia's.
Amelia Bones likewise moved as she dropped. She was placed on the Minister for Magic's elevated chair.
Of the six magicals who had been brought up and their heads subjected to swirling purple sparkles, two were dead, and three were Judged but alive. Only Dumbledore's Judgment remained to be heard.
Now the man's/woman's voices spoke angrily: "Albus Percival Dumbledore, you would take Harry Potter away from family who would care for him, solely so you can resume stealing from his vaults, and so you can work to cause his death to further your glory. We are sorely wroth with you.
"Albus Percival Dumbledore, you shall be put into a between-dimensional space in which no time passes, until John Potter and Paulina Potter enter the lobby of Gringotts London. Then you shall emerge from the between-dimensional space into the lobby of Gringotts London. After this, you will be at the mercy of the goblins and their laws."
With a flash of purple light, Dumbledore disappeared from the spot in the air where he had been floating.
John thought, Whoa. That is unexpected.
Amelia Bones—who was now Minister for Magic Amelia Bones—called for a vote on Dumbledore's motion (that required John Potter to give Harry Potter to Dumbledore by 11 p.m.) But Minister Bones did this after she shared her opinion that it would be "unhealthy" for the seat-holders if the Wizengamot would vote to take Harry Potter away from John Potter.
Dumbledore's motion failed by a two-thirds vote.
When Minister Bones adjourned the special session, John flooed to Potter Manor, to tell the morning's tale to Paulina and to Harry.
It was Paulina that pointed out that Dumbledore now was in stasis, and would remain in stasis until John and Paulina entered Gringotts—whether the newlyweds entered Gringotts this morning, this afternoon, tomorrow (Harry's eleventh birthday), or on the last day of August.
John and Paulina decided to enter the basilisk tunnel now, and to explore the Chamber of Secrets, now that Dumbledore no longer would be aware of such explorations.
John and Paulina felt bad, leaving Harry alone in Potter Manor except for house-elf caregivers. But hopefully it would not take too long to find whatever it was that Antonia wanted John to find in the Chamber of Secrets.
Chapter 13
The Ultimate Invisibility Spell
An hour later
Still Tuesday, July 30, morning
At Antonia the angel's Apparation coordinates in the Forbidden Forest
Using Parseltongue, John opened the crossbars-gate. He and Paulina stepped into the stone tunnel. With a hissed word, John closed the crossbars-gate. No bearded headmaster, or anyone else from Hogwarts, came to investigate.
Somewhere inside the basilisk tunnel, John and Paulina crossed through the Hogwarts wards. The Spirit of Hogwarts (which was the castle's magical operating system), and perhaps Acting Headmistress McGonagall, knew that two people were in the tunnel. But nobody came to investigate.
At the other end of the tunnel was a smooth, flat wall, with a hole in the center, sized such that John's hand could fit through when he pulled his thumb in. The shape of the hole was almost round. Actually, the shape of the hole could better be described as a curved hexagon.
"§Open§," John hissed.
The surface of the smooth wall melted away. Now the wall looked like a six-foot-diameter camera shutter, made of stone; and the hole in the middle now became the gap between the six stone leaves of the shutter. With a grinding noise, the stone shutter-leaves rotated, making the hole in the center enlarge itself till it was as big as the tunnel.
John and Paulina stepped through the open shutter-door, entering the Chamber of Secrets. "§Close§," John hissed.
Again with a grinding noise, the stone shutter-leaves rotated the other way, till there was again a hand-size gap between the shutter-leaves. Next, the shutter-leaves grew a smooth, stony skin. The result: at the end of the tunnel was a smooth, round, stone wall with a hole in the center.
Since John had much more magical power than Paulina, it was he who cast the Lumos spell so the soulmates could see clearly in the Chamber of Secrets. With John casting the Lumos spell, the light that his wand made was as white and as bright as the sun. Everything in the Chamber of Secrets was easy to see.
John showed Paulina the places where, almost two years from now in his previous life, the basilisk had died and where Ginny and Harry almost had died. After Paulina heard the story and was given the "Fighting-the-Basilisk Mini-Tour," Paulina gave John a super-strength Paulina-hug.
Except for this bit of warped nostalgia, John and Paulina spent their time in the Chamber of Secrets seeking out whatever it was that Antonia wanted John to find.
Under the bright Lumos light, John and Paulina discovered that the stone statues of scary cobras, with their hoods spread and their fangs visible, were impressively sculpted. The couple likewise discovered that the beard in the stone head of Salazar Slytherin was carved in detail.
John and Paulina also discovered that there were many, many animal bones in the Chamber of Secrets.
With John's wand-light so bright, if there had been an ant-sized rune carved on a wall anywhere inside the Chamber of Secrets, either John or Paulina would have spotted this rune. But the couple found nothing of the sort.
After an hour passed with the young couple eyeballing every inch of surface in the Chamber of Secrets, John sighed. He said to Paulina, "We've looked almost everywhere, and found nothing. The only searching we haven't done is I speaking that Parseltongue passphrase, Slytherin's mouth opening, then we going to explore whatever is behind Slytherin's face."
Paulina asked, "And we haven't done this before now because...?"
"Because the one thing that I know is behind Slytherin's face is a sleeping sixty-foot basilisk."
Paulina said, "I think we need to go in there, in order to find whatever it is that Antonia wants you to find."
"Fine. But if I get eaten, you get eaten, or either of us dies by basilisk-stare, I shall have sharp words with Antonia."
John and Paulina by now were facing stone-Slytherin's face. John conjured a blindfold over Paulina's eyes—which she loudly told John she did not appreciate, but she did not remove the blindfold either.
John squeezed his own eyes shut, then hissed, "§Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four.§"
The stone mouth opened and—judging by the sounds that John heard—a sixty-foot basilisk came out. And came out, and came out.
"§Fear not, Speaker. I will not show my yellow eyes to you, nor to your mate§."
John was not clear whether this was basilisk courtesy in action, or a magical limitation that Salazar Slytherin had put on the basilisk, but John would gladly accept it.
The basilisk told eyes-still-closed John that she had two sets of eyelids. The regular eyelids, when covering the basilisk's eyes, kept onlookers alive but made the basilisk willfully blind. The second set of eyelids were transparent red—with only those eyelids shut, the basilisk could see, but the basilisk's gaze no longer was an instant, statuefying death sentence for other creatures.
When the basilisk told John that now she was looking at him and his mate through her red-tinted eyelids, John murmured "Gryffindors charge ahead," then opened his eyes.
John now clearly could see the basilisk's eyes—which looked orange.
John did not die and he did not turn into a stone statue; he breathed a sigh of relief.
Just like in the other timeline, now the scales of the basilisk were a dark but vivid green—the color of a rain forest.
John said to Paulina, "It's okay to remove the blindfold now."
Paulina gasped when she saw the gigantic creature that she and her husband were sharing the Chamber of Secrets with.
The basilisk hissed at John; surprised John translated for Paulina—
The basilisk somehow could smell that John was an Heir of Slytherin—the Heir Secondary, to be exact. (Eventually Paulina's research uncovered that Lily Evans Potter was a descendant, through a Squib son, of Cobrana Gaunt Yaxley, who was a descendant of Salazar Slytherin.) But the basilisk also smelled that John was Lord Slytherin By Right Of Conquest. What this meant was that, from this day forward, the basilisk would obey only John (and John's descendants); orders from possessed redheads would be ignored.
The basilisk did not act angry or murderous, so John struck up small talk with the sixty-foot-long creature. John asked her what her name was.
The basilisk replied that Salazar Slytherin had named her §Toadchild§.
John replied that to him, the name sounded insulting; so would she mind if John gave her a new name?
No, she would not mind.
Was there a name she would like to be called?
Yes, §Gazer§.
So for the rest of the Potters' visit to the Chamber of Secrets, John called the basilisk §Gazer§.
Behind Slytherin's stone face, the newlyweds discovered, was a big and high-ceilinged room. This big room was where Gazer stayed when she was magically asleep.
To the left of Gazer's room, through a doorway-cutout, was Slytherin's suite. Everything in the suite that could be given a color other than wood-brown, was colored green. As soon as John and Paulina walked in, a painting of a hooded cobra in grass hissed a rude challenge. (John hissed a reply that was just as rude.)
Besides the aforementioned cobra painting, the suite had a bookcase with about a hundred books in it, a fireplace, a couch, two chairs, and a bedchamber. Paulina pointed out that the fireplace was a regular fireplace, not a Floo fireplace—though the fireplace was magical enough to light itself as soon as Paulina and John walked into the suite.
Paulina told John she was annoyed to find that every book in the bookcase was written in Parseltext.
John did not tell Paulina that one of the Parseltext books he "casually" was flipping through, was titled §The Wizard and the Muggle Farmer's Daughter§—
.
§Ladbrock Longwand wanted to see what Rustica's nubile young body looked like, starkers.§
§This problem was easily solved when Ladbrock pointed his wand at Rustica. "Accio Rustica's clothes."§
§Seconds later, the farmer's daughter's simple homespun clothing lay in a pile by the wizard's left foot.§
§"Fair is fair," Rustica said as she sashayed up to Ladbrock, her hips swaying. "If I'm undressed now, so should you be."§
§Rustica grabbed Ladbrock's robes with both hands and pulled those robes over the wizard's head.§
.
John was strongly tempted to drag willing Paulina into Slytherin's bedchamber and to put the room to its intended use. But John stopped himself when he remembered that back at Potter Manor, Harry was waiting for John and Paulina to finish their treasure hunt and to come home. So now John behaved responsibly, though his hormones screamed at him.
Back in the big basilisk-room, there were three rooms that were just off of the big basilisk-room. The first, Slytherin's suite, was behind no door, hidden or otherwise.
After trial and error, John found a second door, which was magically hidden; this door opened to a combination potions lab and ritual room.
Soon afterward, John and Paulina discovered a third door, that also was hidden, that led off of the basilisk-room. This second hidden door opened to a library of one or two thousand Parseltext books. Each of those Parseltext books had a green cover.
Slytherin's Library had a thousand years of dust covering everything, with no footprints or handprints visible anywhere. Fortunately, John's call to Greyclay soon got rid of the dust.
Paulina did not wait for Greyclay, or for John. By the time that every speck of dust was gone from the room, so that John could breathe freely, and John had dismissed Greyclay, Paulina had rushed into Slytherin's Library (even while she was choking on dust).
An enormous rectangular table, big enough for twelve chairs, covered a big part of the open floor. By the time John was stepping into the Library, Paulina had approached the bookshelves, had huffed loudly, and now was standing by the Library's enormous table, her hands on her hips.
"I declare, John, I am so frustrated. Every green-covered book in Slytherin's Library has a title I can't read! Every book's title is SSSS"—Paulina hissed then, but her hiss had no Parseltongue meaning to it. Paulina whinged, "I want to help you, but I can't!"
Placed at the center of the enormous table was a book with a green cover. Paulina eyed this book and said thoughtfully, "Or maybe I can help you? John honey, this book at the center of the table, what does its title say?"
As John walked over to the enormous table, his eyes were on the book that, hundreds of years ago, had been placed at the center of that table. More to the point, John's eyes were not on where he was walking.
To get where he could read the title of the book on the table, John had to walk from the doorway to the table, then had to walk around the table to the side of the table that was nearest to the bookshelves and was farthest from the doorway.
While John was walking that path, with his eyes on the book and not where he was walking, John's foot caught on a chair leg.
One foot stumbled over the chair leg, then the other foot stumbled over the stumbling foot. John's efforts to regain his balance only made the stumbles worse.
The result of all this was that John crashed into the row of bookshelves that was closest to the table. BLAM!
One slim volume fell off a bookshelf and onto the floor.
As John picked up the book, he noticed its title: §Spells I Never Will Tell My Friends About§. The thin book was written by Salazar Slytherin.
This entire slapstick comedy had happened because Paulina had asked about the book that had been placed at the center of the enormous table. When John walked over to look at that book, he carried §Spells I Never Will Tell My Friends About§ to the table with him.
The book that Paulina was curious about? Its title was §Read This First§.
John did exactly this—and discovered in the book a Parselmouth spell to conjure English-translation copies of Parseltext books in a stack.
Paulina did a silly dance when John told her about the translation-spell, she was so happy.
Just to practice the §Conjure translations§ spell, John cast the spell on §Spells I Never Will Tell My Friends About§. The result was a slim, blue-covered book appearing on the table—
A slim, blue-covered book that Paulina immediately snatched offthe table.
John spent the next five minutes or thereabouts, leafing through his green copy. Then Paulina, who systematically was working her way through her blue copy, suddenly blurted, "Oh. My. God. John, page 43, hurry, read it!"
Page 43 described the "Not sensed within all the world" spell, which Salazar described as "the Disillusionment Charm after it drank four booster potions."
The Not-Sensed spell, the book claimed, made you be such that all magical creatures (wizards, witches, goblins, "Rowena's elves," etc.) could not see you, hear you, feel you, smell you—or presumably taste you. There was no blurring or distortion at the edges when someone looked in your direction, unlike the regular Disillusionment Charm.
But the thing that got Paulina so excited, when she read about the spell, was that after you cast this Parseltongue spell on yourself, wards could not sense you either. You could apparate into a house through the deadliest wards possible, without anyone inside the house being alerted, while you did not even get your hair mussed.
(Salazar Slytherin noted that if anyone other than a Founder learned this spell, Castle Hogwarts would be defenseless. To further protect the school, Slytherin wrote down the spell only in this one book, and in Parseltext.)
Slytherin's write-up of the Not-Sensed spell had one throwaway comment that also got Paulina excited. Apparently one job of the Spirit of Hogwarts was to disrupt Apparation, when the Apparation spell was attempted within Hogwarts by anyone except a Founder or headmaster. Somehow the Spirit of Hogwarts used the castle wards to inform her when Apparation was being attempted. Anyway, Slytherin theorized that anyone under the effects of the Not-Sensed spell could apparate within Hogwarts, not only a Founder or headmaster.
John grinned at Paulina. "If Slytherin is right, they'll have to rewrite Hogwarts: A History."
Paulina slapped John's arm. "Turkey."
There in Slytherin's Library, John stood in front of Paulina and cast the Not-Sensed spell on himself, in Parseltongue: "§Non sentitur in omni mundo§."
John's wanded right hand shot a pale-green beam at his left hand. John saw his left hand turn transparent green.
John looked down. All of him was transparent green; he could see the floor a yard behind his shoes.
Paulina said, "John, I can't see you at all. But the Disillusionment Charm likewise works well when you don't move around. So wave your hand in a circle, in front of my face; let's see if this new spell can handle that."
John did so. Paulina did not react, or say anything. John asked Paulina, "Can you hear me?"
Paulina did not react, or answer.
Now John touched the places on Paulina's exposed skin where she was ticklish, or that were erogenous zones. Paulina said nothing, her expression did not change, and no goosebumps formed.
Next, John conjured a full-length mirror.
"I declare, John!" Paulina exclaimed. John belatedly figured out that to Paulina, the mirror had appeared out of nowhere, without warning.
John was shocked when he looked in the mirror. He did not see the reflection of his transparent-green self; in fact, he did not see himself at all. The mirror showed John a clear view of what was behind him.
John had one more experiment to try: he tried to apparate to the far corner of the library while under the effects of the Not-Sensed spell. He succeeded.
John cancelled the spell on himself then, hissing "§Sentiri§" (be sensed). After John explained to his young wife that yes, someone can apparate within Hogwarts with this spell, Paulina ran over to John and kissed him like she meant it.
John told Paulina that he had waved his hand in front of her face, had spoken to her, and had tried to tickle her, but she had sensed none of those things. Paulina looked amazed when John said this.
Now it was Paulina's turn.
Before John cast the spell on Paulina, the couple had to figure out a way for John to know where Paulina was when it was time to cast the counterspell on Paulina, since John could not see Paulina to know where to point his wand. The couple eventually decided on doing a sixty-second countdown; at zero, John would point his wand forward and would cast the counterspell in front of himself.
Just before John cast on Paulina, he made a request: "Sometime in the first fifteen seconds, put your hair up close to my nose. I want to know if I can smell your shampoo."
Paulina agreed.
"§Non sentitur in omni mundo§," John hissed. Paulina was hit with a pale-green beam, then silently disappeared.
John spoke the countdown. At seconds 60 through 45, John inhaled deeply through his nose, trying to smell Paulina's shampoo. He smelled nothing.
Abruptly John's left hand (his non-wand hand) was forced upwards, as though moved by a Summoning or Banishing spell. His skin's nerve endings reported no touching being felt.
John said to the seemingly empty room, "If you moved my hand by grabbing me and flexing your muscles, I didn't feel you grabbing me."
John lost the count then, but resumed the countdown at 35.
When John said "Zero," he pointed his wand forward and hissed "§Sentiri§."
Two feet in front of John, Paulina reappeared. She was grinning.
Paulina threw herself at John and, for the second time in minutes, kissed her husband like she meant it.
For the next experiment, Paulina's husband cast the Not-Sensed spell on both himself and Paulina.
The newlyweds turned transparent green. They heard each other's words, and felt each other's touches. John told Paulina that he loved the smell of her shampoo. When John and Paulina stood in front of the full-length-mirror, neither of them reflected.
They individually apparated to different places on the Library floor, and tried to side-along apparate each other. They had no problems.
Then transparent-green John looked at transparent-green Paulina with a mischievous grin. "You remember that I'm the son of a Marauder and the godson of a Marauder, right?"
Paulina said cautiously, "Yes...?"
"Wait here," John said. "I'll be back." He apparated to somewhere outside of the Slytherin Library.
Five minutes later, transparent-green John apparated back into Slytherin's Library. Clutched to his chest was a silvery cloak.
Paulina's jaw dropped. "You stole the Potter-family True Cloak of Invisibility from Dumbledore?"
John grinned. "The idiot had it in the headmaster's suite, in a drawer in a wardrobe. No Fidelius Charm, no locking spell beyond Colloportus—the hardest part of the job was finding the Cloak, whereas stealing it was easy. The point is, now Dumbledore can't 'gift' the Cloak to Harry and claim, 'I did you a favor. Now you owe me.' "
John was grinning as he cast "§Sentiri§" on both himself and Paulina.
§Read This First§ had another spell in it that transfigured a book that the spellcaster was willing to sacrifice, into a permanent copy of a conjured book. Paulina supplied the book to be sacrificed (The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald), John made a permanent copy of Spells I Never Will Tell My Friends About, then Paulina put the blue-cover, English-language book into her beaded handbag.
Now John and Paulina walked out of Slytherin's Library. In the basilisk-room, John again hid the Library's door, using the counterspell to the Parseltongue spell he had used an hour ago.
The young couple walked out of Slytherin's stone face; John then told §Gazer§ that she could have her bedchamber back. After friendly Parseltongue goodbyes with §Gazer§, John and Paulina walked through the stone camera-shutter wall and into the tunnel. As soon as the newlyweds walked beyond the Hogwarts wards, John and Paulina apparated back to Potter Manor.
From the time that John and Paulina had left Potter Manor, to the time that they had returned to Potter Manor—with John clutching the True Cloak of Invisibility when the couple returned—only two hours had passed.
One experiment remained, before John and Paulina invaded Malfoy Manor. They had to try to apparate to someplace that was behind wards and to apparate back out again. The purpose of the experiment was to see if John and Paulina could do this One, without being detected; and Two, without getting killed, either by the wards themselves or by the defenders of the house.
What the newlyweds wound up doing, in order to safely carry out the experiment, was that John struck Paulina's name from the Wards Ledger (thus making the Potter Manor wards consider Paulina to be somewhere between a stranger and an intruder), then John downgraded the Potter Manor wards to their mildest setting.
Now, when Paulina would try to "invade" Potter Manor, if the Not-Sensed experiment failed, the Potter Manor wards would hit her with ten Stinging Hexes—which was much better than the Potter Manor wards ripping Paulina's arms and legs off, one limb at a time (under the wards' harshest setting).
Once transparent-green John had all the setup done, transparent-green Paulina tried to apparate into Potter Manor.
She succeeded. The Potter Manor wards never noticed.
Paulina apparated out of Potter Manor again, then tried to apparate back in again. Again she succeeded; again the Potter Manor wards did not notice her passing through them.
All in all, Paulina "invaded" Potter Manor seven times before John cancelled the Not-Sensed spell on Paulina and on himself, again wrote Paulina's name in the Wards Ledger, and restored the Potter Manor wards to their previous setting. (That setting was only one step below "We're at war; if the person trying to enter ain't family, kill 'im painfully.")
That evening, at dinner
Potter Manor
The three Potters were enjoying an elf-cooked meal of steak and kidney pie. Harry finally had stopped offering to "help" the Potter house-elves cook.
John smiled at Harry. "Tomorrow you go to Gringotts and replace your Potter Protection ring with the Potter Heir ring. Tomorrow you go to Ollivanders and get your own magic wand. Tomorrow you shop for robes, books, and supplies for magical school. Are you ready for all these things?"
Harry replied thoughtfully, "I've done nothing like this before. It's all going to be strange for me."
Paulina said, "More so when everyone treats you like the Boy Who Lived. But John and I will be with you every step of the way."
Harry smiled a megawatt smile. "I can't wait!"
That evening
As John and Paulina cuddled in bed, John said, "Tomorrow morning, as soon as the three of us step into the Gringotts lobby, Dumbledore will be shoved out of his pocket dimension and into the Gringotts lobby. The goblins will arrest him, then they'll put the bearded idiot on trial."
Paulina asked, "Is there a reason you're mentioning this before it happens?"
John replied, "I have a plan about what to do then. I want your suggestions how to make the plan better."