Chapter 3 my life It's just what it's meant to be
10 years ago
September the 31st 2015
8:09 pm
Prison.
They talk about it like it's meant to contain us-to keep us away from the others. The normal ones. To prevent us from corrupting them. To stop us from hurting them.
But sometimes, it also prevents us from becoming them.
And for those who seek escape, who break through the walls to grasp some sliver of that simple humanity we were deprived of... we yearn for freedom so deeply, we'd die for it.
But eventually, you realize: the prison isn't the walls.
It's the thoughts. The suggestions. The things only you can perceive, only you can see, only you can understand.
So you find distractions. Small pleasures to keep you from facing the truth.
The truth that you were always in a prison.
The prison of the mind.
And even when you realize that's the truth...
You'll never accept it.
"Because no one can ever really break out of this prison - and no one will be there to help you even try."
February the 11th 2015.
There was a man in a well-tucked suit with glasses, leading seven children in a single file line to a room. The hallway was white on every side of the walls. We wore all-white, thin-layered clothes with numbers on them.
The girl in front of me was 1-14.
The guy two kids behind me had a number that was 6-34.
Mine was 0-0 - the only kid with a zero in it.
Eventually, we got to a door. The man pulled out what I vaguely remember was a keycard. He then undid ten different locks and had an eye check.
I was scared. We were all cramped in a small hallway leading to a door, wondering what was behind it. What horrors might lie below, to require so much security? Why was he leading us here? Was it for another test? Or maybe... he was rewarding us with something?
He didn't know I couldn't smell or hear anything coming. That frightened me a little - and I was sure it frightened the other kids even more too.
I watched as the door slowly opened, each creak fueling my anticipation.
And when it finally opened, the room appeared unfamiliar to me. It had bouncy - even levitating - things that smelled like rubber. A multitude of colors. Some of these things looked to be inflated, with strings wrapped around tiny holes in them.
The room had other commodities, so different from the white walls. Some I vaguely remembered - like yellow and blue, colors I rarely saw at the time.
But others I saw for the first time in that moment: red, orange, silver, gold - all scattered through the walls and floors in the form of tiny, square-like papers.
In the middle of the room were seven chairs and a table with things I could only assume to be food. There were a lot of meat dishes, but also other things I had never experienced before - cookies, juice, cupcakes.
A metal box that was vibrating making different noises in tunes that I could not describe at the time not realizing that it was music.
I must say, I was starstruck - almost overwhelmed by all the new sensory information. But it never showed on my face. It never showed on any of ours.
The man in the suit spoke:
"Since you guys did so well on the couple of tests these past months, our leaders in the Foundation decided that you deserve a treat. So play until your heart's content, and eat however much you want. There will be no assignments and no tests today."
And with that, the man left the room, telling us he'd come back when we were done.
We were all hesitant, not knowing what to do for a couple of minutes. I stayed and watched, but the other kids eventually started going off, doing their own thing.
7-17
He sniffed everything he could find - the walls, the food, even himself.
It was good to know he was blind and deaf - a small, fragile boy who often got injured. So he was more hesitant moving around, even when sniffing inanimate objects.
1-14
She was playing with the bouncy rubber thing - testing it, pushing it, throwing it in the air and watching it fall slowly.
She looked like she enjoyed it. She played too rough, though, and it popped immediately.
She rolled away and flipped several feet back. If I were to describe her reaction - she acted like a surprised cat.
100-750
He was the biggest among us. He often used his weight to complete tests and get more food. He immediately went to the lunch table, not even smelling the food first - just put it down his mouth.
His actions caught the attention of the rest of us, and slowly but surely, we all took a seat and started eating the new food.
79-79
was playing with the metal box, clicking on all the buttons, changing the tunes and sounds it was making. His expressions and body language changed with each tune.
Some of the peaceful sounds made him feel less tense, while the louder or chaotic ones, or when the sounds had a bass, would make him jump around excited - giving him some sort of adrenaline rush.
The weakest among us, 1-11
He ate a small slice of pizza, and his facial expression is something I'll never forget. It was pure, utter shock and joy.
But at the same time, empty.
Try to think about someone winning the lottery, but trying to hide their excitement - doing a very good job at it, but not good enough to where you couldn't tell.
He looked like his life changed after that first bite.
And... it annoyingly encouraged me to try some of the food as well.
I grabbed the chicken - looking at it, studying it, smelling it. It was something I never had before. It looked like it was high in protein... iron... carbs as well. There was a bone in it that I could easily bite through, but it felt like I wasn't supposed to.
I opened my mouth, ready to bite it-
But before I could, all the lights in the room went dead, making the room pitch black for a couple of seconds.
There were multiple faint metallic clicks - the kind that came from a primary weapon, like an AR... or some kind of rifle.
I heard muffled thuds echoing around the room, getting closer - indicating heavy boots, accompanied by soft clamps of metal... which also indicated military gear. Armor.
Then came heavy breaths - not coming from us, but from what sounded like a group of men.
What confirmed my suspicion was one of them yelling:
"MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"
Multiple glowing dots appeared - from their night vision goggles.
And red dots... pointed at all of us.
"But even with all of this going on, we were all calm. I vaguely remember looking at the illuminated chicken that was in my hand. I stared at it for a little while as the men grew closer, before putting it in my mouth and jumping out of my seat like the rest of the kids to move out."
Present day
Hazel: "Geez, I can't believe that old fart finally found a way to get rid of us.
And after all I did for her and the kids in this orphanage... I'm hurt.
Like-think of the kids! What will they do without me?"
Selene rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she pushed clothes into her suitcase, eventually closing it with a loud click.
Selene: "Hazel, I'm pretty sure me and Ma are the only ones in here not terrified of you.
They think-wait, no-they know you're insane."
"Oh, quiet down, Selene. They're just shy because my bubbling personality can be a bit intimidating for some."
"Riiiiight..."
I sighed.
"Anyway, we need to figure out what we're going to do next ."
"Wait, aren't we going to Eleanor Academy?"
"Oh hell no.
I'll be damned.
Imagine-your mother disappears for years on end and then out of nowhere just decides what college you're going to go to? In the future?
Fuck that. I'm leaving this country the moment I step foot out of this orphanage."
"You can follow, or do whatever the hell you want, because you always had the freedom to play to your heart's content. Right, Hazel?"
End of chapter