I questioned myself: was all the acting I've done until now really for them, or did I do it because I was afraid of facing the future I saw back then?
Am I?
I strive for power, enduring pain, suffering, and grueling training in the name of family—but is that the whole truth? Or am I just believing it because I can't accept my own hidden desires for power?
These questions loom inside my mind like ants picking at a dead body.
While I was questioning myself, drowning in endless thoughts of self-accusation, a message came. It was from a being I respect and hate at the exact same time. I grabbed onto the system notification like a lifeline, eager to let anything—even Curse Weaver's bullshit—drown out the voice in my head.
[RYN, how many heads of the hydra were you able to cut off in the dungeon?] Curse Weaver asked through the system.
I asked back, What now? Want to throw me into that abyss again?
She replied:
[You grieving soul, I am fighting him for rehabilitation training. Just tell me.]
I questioned her, Rehabilitation from what? From joy, by watching my pain?
Her answer came:
[Oh god! How much agility did life give you that you can dodge joy without effort?]
[Ryn Van Asterin, a.k.a. Astro Boy, I want you to bark the number of heads you felled off the hydra. That's it.]
I questioned, Why are you being so polite with me today?
[Curse Weaver is staring at the screen with the urge to cancel training and teach you a lesson.]
[God give me patience. Listen, I had given my account to one of my companions to train you while I was away on a half-year-long mission, which ended last week.]
I asked, Do you have to do missions? I mean, like in a game?
She replied:
[Yes, of course. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in a cult right now for a mission assignment.]
I asked, So, what are these missions like?
She replied:
[When you join, I will tell you. By the way, what about Nyx? Where is she now?]
I asked, Why her, all out of the blue?
She replied, [Are you sure?]
I replied, I had left her behind with Aeldir, but it seems he left her back in the academy for protection...
[Curse Weaver is getting anxious: Ryn, I'm sorry to make you work in this situation, but you have to reach her and see if she's alright. She shouldn't get into the wrong hands. You don't know what kind of legacy she carries.]