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Chapter 39 - Chapter 39: Low IQ and Low EQ

Henry completely ignored Coulson's extended hand. He walked past him as if he hadn't seen it, then scrutinized the chaotic battlefield with a look of distaste, as if inspecting his own backyard.

Look at this! Is this still the quaint Manhattan I know? It looks like the Indian countryside!

"A pleasure?" he scoffed, turning back to look Coulson up and down.

"I'm not pleased at all. I say, Agent Coulson, do you think your hairline and your few remaining brain cells are equally insignificant?"

He pointed at the area still emitting black smoke in the distance, his voice abruptly rising in pitch, sounding accusatory.

"What the hell were you guys doing? Are you shooting a disaster movie? Or has your business expanded from catching a few alien stowaways to urban planning and demolition? Why did you let these two behemoths come to Manhattan? Were you planning a special Monster Wrestling Championship here?"

His finger finally pointed precisely at the tallest, most noticeable skyscraper in the distant night. The giant STARK letters on the top of the building flashed in the city's neon lights.

"See that tallest, brightest, and most expensive building over there? See what it says? That's Stark Tower! It's mine! You brought the battle right to my doorstep! If you scratch the paint on my building, can you afford the repair? I'll have you know that scratch is probably more expensive than all the sparse hair on your head combined!"

Coulson followed his pointed finger, looked at the futuristic skyscraper, and then put on his professional smile again. He truly is a Stark; is his mouth a machine gun?

"My apologies, Mr. Henry. This incident indeed exceeded our control. We are doing our best to..."

"Doing your best?" Henry rolled his eyes, his expression suggesting, You don't even believe that yourself, do you?

"Your 'best' resulted in these two big guys dancing a highly destructive tango here? Seriously, Coulson, your work efficiency is slower than my ex-girlfriend's old dial-up modem. I strongly suspect you're spending all your budget on hair-growth products for bald agents like yourself."

He finished, ignoring the embarrassed but still-smiling Coulson, and turned his attention to Tony, who was still posing like a hero nearby.

"Tony!" he shouted.

"Aren't you confident? Didn't you just upgrade your body and feel like you could do seventeen times a night? See those two ugly-in-their-own-way big guys? Go! They're yours. Let them witness the power of the American Ass."

"Are you kidding me!" Tony immediately shot back, flying over to Henry.

"Get your facts straight! I'm a superhero who relies on intelligence and technology! Not a primitive man like you who only uses brute force! That's a brute's job, and it belongs to you, the muscle-brain!"

"Oh? Is that so?" Henry crossed his arms, his expression teasing.

"I think you're just afraid of scratching the paint on your iron can, aren't you? Seriously, Tony, your gold-and-red suit looks like an unfinished, cheap piece of work."

"What do you know! I told you! It's 'minimalist!' Minimalist!"

"Yeah, yeah, performance art."

Just as the two brothers were about to start another argument about the aesthetics of their Armor, an ear-splitting roar came from nearby!

"ROAR!!!"

The powerful sound wave swept across the entire battlefield like a physical shockwave! The already battered cars and debris were once again violently tossed around.

It was Abomination!

He had climbed out of the wrecked semi-trailer truck!

Although his body, covered in bone spurs, now had a few dents, he seemed to have suffered no substantial damage.

Immediately after, another roar, equally filled with fury, came from the opposite direction!

"Hulk!!!"

The Hulk also sat up, shaking his slightly dizzy head. The two violent sound waves converged and amplified, causing even more terrifying destruction. The glass of the surrounding buildings instantly shattered under the shockwave!

Abomination glanced at Henry, a flash of pure rage in his savage eyes. He was furious! He hadn't even beaten the damned Hulk yet, and now another disrespectful guy had shown up! Shouldn't there be a ring and a one-on-one fight?!

Then, he roared, lifted a massive chunk of concrete from the ground, and prepared to hurl it at Henry! But before he could even move, a green figure charged over like a cannonball, slamming into him!

It was the Hulk!

"ROAR!"

The two behemoths tore into each other in a savage frenzy again! The Hulk seemed to have learned his lesson about fighting with pure power but poor technique.

This time, he seized an opportunity, charged over to a smashed car, and, with sheer brute force, tore the car in half! Then, he used the two halves of the car's shell, complete with wheels, like two gigantic boxing gloves, putting them over his fists.

"Hulk!!"

He roared, swinging the crude but aesthetically violent gloves, unleashing a relentless barrage of heavy punches on Abomination!

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

The dull sound of metal and bone colliding was as rhythmic as a war drum! Abomination was forced to retreat step by step. His hard, bony protrusions... continually shattered and flew off... no, that's impossible. That little damage didn't mean anything to him.

Everyone present was deeply shocked by the brutal spectacle of violence.

"Whoa," Henry exclaimed in admiration, not forgetting to complain.

"A classic scene! Jarvis, record this! If I post this online with the title, The Right Way to Use Recycled Scrap Metal, it'll definitely go viral."

Tony had slowly flown into the sky. He looked at the two monsters locked in battle below and asked, "Alright, the show's over. What do we do now? We can't just let them keep demolishing the place until morning, can we?"

"Of course, we stop them," Henry's voice was equally lazy.

"Stark Tower is right there. I don't want to find the wall of my bedroom gone. That would seriously affect my sleep quality."

"Fine," Tony conceded, then asked, "Who should we help? Neither of these guys looks like a good person."

"The green one, of course," Henry said matter-of-factly.

"The other one is ugly, covered in bone spurs. He clearly has a villain's face. As champions of justice, we should naturally choose the one who's slightly less repulsive."

Henry felt he wasn't wrong. Abomination definitely had a villain's face. His bald head reminded him of another group of people.

The kind who went bald in middle age, came from poverty, had low IQs and low EQs, and were often abandoned by their fathers, lacking any skills outside of their specialized sports.

Of course, they did have one positive trait: walking down the street would make the FBI instinctively pull out their guns, turning them into American justice police!

"You damned lookist!" Tony complained, but agreed nonetheless.

"Fine, you have a point. That ugly bastard is a bit of an eyesore."

With that, he accelerated sharply, flying high into the sky. He held his arms out, and his palm repulsors instantly glowed!

"Hey, Ugly! Taste this!"

Two searing beams of energy accurately struck Abomination's back as he was being pounded by the Hulk!

Abomination stumbled. His already furious mood, heightened by the Hulk's relentless attack, completely erupted! He roared, momentarily forcing the Hulk back.

And Henry also sprang into action.

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