**"That's definitely not the stars I was looking at,"** Michael muttered, groaning as he blinked and realized he was lying on cold stone. All around him were jagged rocks and faintly glowing minerals.
**"Damn those angels,"** he grumbled, rubbing his head. **"They left me with a concussion... and stranded in a dark cave."**
He stood up slowly, brushing dust off his hospital gown. Strange murals decorated the cave walls, drawn in what looked like glowing ink.
**"Whoa, those are some pretty cool paintings. I wonder what they me—"**
He froze. The sound of footsteps echoed behind him.
**"Who dares enter the Scorpial Cave?"** a voice boomed, low and commanding.
Michael turned around—and his jaw dropped. A towering figure stood before him, half-woman, half-scorpion, with a sharp tail swaying behind her and long, dark hair falling over her armor.
**"Uh... Sister? Is this part of the quest?"** Michael shouted nervously, spinning in a circle.
The creature tilted her head. **"It seems you do not understand my words. You are... very strange looking. You lack a large chest, your behind is flattened in, and you emit a rather peculiar scent."**
Michael blinked, offended. **"Excuse me?"**
The creature circled him, inspecting closely. **"You're definitely not a beauty. What *are* you?"**
Michael froze as she started poking at his chest, then his shoulders.
*I sense a very strong scent coming from his lower half... I wonder what it could be,* she thought silently, leaning in closer.
**"What the hell is going on?"** Michael shouted. **"What is this big-breasted, scorpion-looking creature?! This is *not* how isekais are supposed to start out!"**
Before he could move, she pinned him to the ground, her claws gripping his arms.
**"Keep silent,"** she hissed, sitting on top of him as her tail slithered down, curling near his waist.
**"Not my silver chariot. Please, not my silver chariot,"** Michael said, panic spreading across his face.
**"Holy Mother of Scorpia... what is this hard object?"** the creature whispered, wrapping her tail around it curiously.
**"There goes my chariot. It was nice having you—we didn't even get to explore,"** Michael sighed dramatically, closing his eyes.
Suddenly—
**"Get away from her!"** a voice shouted.
A volley of arrows whistled through the air, striking the cave floor around them.
**"Tsk. The Imperial Sirens... This isn't over, weird one,"** the scorpion woman hissed before leaping off him and vanishing into the shadows.
Three figures emerged from the darkness—girls in shining armor, their bows still raised. They rushed to Michael's side.
**"Is she okay?"** one of them asked.
**"Aargh, what's that between her legs?"** another gasped.
**"I... I don't know. But let's take her back to the castle,"** said the third, grabbing him under the arms.
As they lifted him up, Michael's vision blurred.
**"Great... first angels, now scorpions, and gender confusion. This is getting out of hand,"** he mumbled before losing consciousness.
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