BZZZZT!!
The massive pillar of lightning stretching across the heavens did not immediately dissipate after slamming into the ground.
Instead, it writhed and pulsed like living golden liquid amid the scorched ruins.
The blinding electric light made everything nearby seem dim in comparison.
Even the suffocating pressure of Conqueror's Haki in the air seemed to be forcefully dispersed by the violent current.
"Hoo…"
The lightning slowly contracted, finally condensing into a round, chubby silhouette.
Rehn.
At this moment, he did not rush to check on the nearly flattened Donquixote Doflamingo.
Nor did he immediately acknowledge the terrifying presence of Kaido.
Instead, the very first thing he did was, extremely flamboyantly, slowly raise his right hand and elegantly straighten the diamond-encrusted bowtie around his neck using just his thumb and forefinger.
Then, he pulled a tiny golden comb from his pocket and leisurely combed back the slicked hairstyle that barely had any hair to begin with, facing an imaginary mirror in the air.
"Ahem."
Rehn cleared his throat.
Then he struck a pose, one hand on his waist, the other pointing dramatically at the sky.
A pose that he clearly believed was unbearably handsome.
One second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds.
He was waiting.
Waiting for a spotlight that didn't exist.
And applause that didn't exist.
Yet all that greeted him was dead silence, interrupted only by the occasional sound of rubble falling in the distance.
"Uh…"
In a corner of the ruins, Law gripped Kikoku so tightly his hands trembled slightly.
Staring at the fat man posing before a Yonko, black lines covered his forehead as he muttered:
"Is… this fat bastard here to do comedy?"
"No…"
Nearby, Roronoa Zoro lay wounded, but the light in his lone eye remained razor sharp.
He stared at the fading arcs of electricity around Rehn.
"Don't let appearances fool you…"
"That pose may be stupid…"
"But his aura hasn't wavered even slightly."
"He's provoking him."
Finally, Rehn seemed satisfied with his entrance, or perhaps embarrassed nobody applauded, and ended the pose.
He slowly lowered his hand and turned around.
His squinting little eyes finally looked directly at the demon-like Kaido.
Their gazes collided midair.
On one side, a Yonko overflowing with drunken killing intent.
On the other, a grinning high ranking Marine covered in fat.
"Well, well?"
Rehn spoke first.
Not a trace of fear appeared on his face.
Instead, he waved his hand exaggeratedly before his nose as though smelling something disgusting.
His brows twisted tightly together.
"I was wondering why the air suddenly smells so awful here."
Pinching his nose, Rehn looked Kaido up and down with blatant disgust.
"A cheap fermented alcohol stink mixed with years of body odor…"
"And that nasty wild beast smell…"
"Tsk tsk tsk…"
Rehn shook his head, clicking his tongue like a vicious noblewoman.
"So, uh…"
"Mister horned homeless guy?"
"What sewer did you crawl out of?"
"Could you at least pay attention to basic hygiene?"
"This is civilized society. This is Lord Renzo's territory."
"Not some primitive jungle where savages drink blood raw!"
"..."
Silence.
Complete silence.
Every person present, whether pirate or terrified Dressrosan citizen, felt their hearts stop beating.
'What… was that fat man saying?'
'Homeless guy?'
'Sewer?'
'And telling Kaido… to improve his hygiene?!'
"H-he's insane!!"
Law felt his worldview collapse.
He had always considered himself reckless, plotting against Doflamingo, challenging Kaido.
But compared to this fat man?
He was basically a good child.
This wasn't recklessness anymore.
This was artistic suicide.
"What… did you say?"
Kaido's massive body trembled slightly.
The drunken haze in his eyes rapidly disappeared, replaced by stunned disbelief, and then volcanic fury.
"You called me… homeless?!"
Kaido's voice dropped terrifyingly low.
Each word squeezed through clenched teeth, carrying deep vibrations that made the ground tremble.
"What? Didn't hear me?"
Not only did Rehn fail to back down, he actually stepped closer.
From his absurdly dimensional tuxedo pocket, he pulled out a loudspeaker.
He switched it on.
Max volume.
Then shoved it directly toward Kaido.
Less than ten meters from his face.
"HEY!!"
"I SAID!!"
"YOU, DRUNK, IDIOT!!"
"YOU'RE JUST A... STINKY... HOMELESS... BUM!!"
The amplified soundwave, infused with vibrating electricity, became a tangible sonic attack.
Even Kaido's wild black hair blew backward from the force.
"Hear me now, big guy?"
Rehn lowered the loudspeaker and dug at his ears with an expression saying Are you deaf?
"Seriously, you're a Yonko, right? A famous figure and all."
Rehn launched into a lengthy lecture in the tone of a furious school disciplinarian.
"In broad daylight, instead of staying home and taking care of your kids, you come running onto someone else's turf drunk?"
"Getting drunk is one thing, but look what you've done!"
Rehn pointed dramatically at the devastated ruins around them.
"The pavement! The walls! The flowers and trees!"
"THIS IS ALL MONEY!!!"
"These are civilized cities our G-5 worked SO HARD to build!"
"Do you know how expensive construction materials are nowadays?!"
"Do you know how high labor costs are?!"
"CAN YOU EVEN AFFORD TO PAY FOR THIS?!"
The more Rehn spoke, the more agitated he became.
He even jumped onto a broken rock and pointed directly at Kaido's nose.
"And look at you! Chains hanging off your pants, no shirt on, flexing muscles everywhere!"
"What, can't afford clothes?"
"Should I ask Lord Renzo to donate some old pajamas to you?"
"And your club! The paint's peeling off!"
"Get a new one already! Who are you trying to scare with that broken stick?!"
"With your pathetic appearance, you still want to survive in the New World? Still dream of becoming Pirate King?"
"Pah!"
Rehn spat heavily onto the ground.
"You'd starve begging on our streets! Nobody'd even open the door because you'd dirty the carpet!"
Rumble…
Above them, the clouds previously split apart by Conqueror's Haki began gathering once more.
Thunder rolled faintly overhead.
Kaido stood motionless.
His kanabo trembled slightly.
Not from fear but from rage so intense he was physically shaking.
He had lived for decades.
Ruled the seas.
Stood undefeated in one-on-one combat.
Attempted suicide countless times and failed every single one.
He had heard begging, curses, roars of hatred but never... never in his entire life, had someone pointed at his face like a raging housewife and insulted everything from his hygiene to his fashion sense to his financial status to his life goals.
This was beyond humiliation.
This was a complete, three-dimensional annihilation of his dignity as the "Strongest Creature."
"Ghh…"
A strange sound escaped Kaido's throat.
His face twitched violently.
The purplish-red tone of his skin deepened darker and darker.
The alcohol was completely gone.
But so was his sanity.
"WAAAHHH…"
Far away behind the rubble, Usopp covered his ears, tears streaming down his face.
"That fat guy… does he actually WANT to die?!"
"Is he trying to make Kaido explode from anger?!"
"No…"
Robin adjusted her sunglasses.
Though her hands trembled, her gaze remained calm.
"That man…"
"He's intentionally provoking Kaido."
"He's pulling all the aggro onto himself."
Nami hugged her Clima-Tact tightly, shaking.
"But why?"
"I don't know…"
Robin slowly shook her head.
....
In the center of the battlefield, Rehn stared at the nearly exploding Kaido.
Truthfully, he was panicking a little inside too.
'Holy hell… this monster's aura is terrifying…'
But he couldn't retreat.
Not only that, he had to act even crazier.
Because this was his Lord's "style."
Right now he represented not only G-5, but his Lord's reputation itself.
If he chickened out, that meant Lord Renzo chickened out.
Absolutely unacceptable!
"What? Not talking now?"
Rehn stepped forward again, his expression becoming even more punchable.
He pulled out his golden abacus and began clicking the beads loudly.
"Since you're not talking, I'll assume you accept responsibility."
"Come, let's calculate damages."
"That club swing just now cracked the foundation of King's Plateau. Repair costs: five billion."
"That roar frightened our business partner Mister Doflamingo, causing psychological trauma. Medical and emotional compensation fees… ten billion."
"And your Conqueror's Haki severely polluted the environment. Environmental fine… three billion."
"Oh, and your face is too ugly. Visual pollution damages to local citizens… that's gotta be at least twenty billion, right?"
Rehn clicked the abacus while sighing dramatically.
"Mister Kaido, before even entering the premises, you already owe us thirty-eight billion Beli."
"Paying by card? Or cash?"
"Oh right…"
"Looking at you, you probably can't afford it."
Rehn put away the abacus and smiled generously.
"Tell you what."
"G-5 just happens to need a few laborers for moving bricks."
"You're strong, thick-skinned, perfect for quarry work."
"As long as you sign a three-thousand-year labor contract…"
"I'll personally waive your debt."
"How about it?"
"Feeling Lord Renzo's kindness now?"
SNAP!!
That was the sound of the final thread of sanity breaking.
Kaido slowly raised his head.
There was no human emotion left in his eyes.
Only pure, primal destruction.
"REEEEEHHHHHHHHNNNNN!!!!"
A roar capable of shattering the heavens exploded from Kaido's mouth!
This roar was even more terrifying than any previous one.
The surrounding air detonated violently, shockwaves spreading in all directions!
The earth split apart!
Rubble turned to dust!
Even the distant Thunder God warship rocked violently atop the sea!
"I'M GOING…"
"…TO CHEW YOU TO PIECES!!!!"
Kaido lifted Hassaikai.
The Conqueror's Haki coating it had become so dense it resembled dripping black liquid.
No flashy techniques.
No complicated moves.
Just a single direct step forward.
BOOM!!
The ground collapsed into a crater hundreds of meters wide!
Kaido's gigantic body surged forward carrying enough momentum to smash continents!
"DIE, INSECT!!"
Facing this apocalyptic attack, the smile finally disappeared from Rehn's face.
Yet he still did not retreat.
He inhaled deeply.
His round stomach compressed violently, then instantly expanded!
BZZZZZZZZZZT!!
Infinite golden lightning erupted from every cell in his body!
His form began turning elemental.
Expanding.
Transforming into something sacred and terrifying.
"KAIDO!!"
Rehn's voice echoed through the thunder, becoming vast and cold.
"You think…"
"…I'm joking with you?!"
"In G-5! On Lord Renzo's territory!!"
"Even a Yonko!"
"Even a dragon!!"
"If it's a dragon, it kneels!"
"If it's a tiger, it lies down obediently!!"
"You're broke and still acting arrogant?!"
"GET THE HELL BACK!!!"
"200 MILLION VOLT: THUNDER GOD, GREAT DARK HEAVEN!!"
Rehn did not fully transform into his Thunder God state.
Instead, he compressed all the lightning,
All the Haki, entirely into his right arm!
The originally fat arm instantly transformed into a monstrous qilin claw made entirely of black-gold lightning!
With unstoppable momentum, Rehn did not dodge.
Did not evade.
He charged directly toward Kaido's kanabo,
And threw a punch straight at it!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
.....
Along Dressrosa's coastline, a white pillar of light shot into the heavens, piercing the clouds.
Then came a delayed explosion so loud the entire sea seemed to go deaf.
Winds screamed.
Waves towered.
And within that world-destroying light, everyone witnessed it, that fat man who usually only counted money, chased women, and acted sleazy,
At this moment, actually… stopped the enraged strike of the world's strongest creature.
Without retreating even a single step.