Things might have spiralled again, because the first thing I felt after waking up was unusual warmth.
The air smelled faintly of Lu Jinghao's cologne, cedar and espresso. Huh?
My lashes violently fluttered open to the ceiling above me, one that wasn't of my studio. This one was dark and textured, with long glass windows framing it.
Need I even mention how crisp the sheets below me were?
For a moment, I didn't want to turn until I heard the sound of someone typing. Thank God! Because the room was too quiet to my liking.
I finally turned my head and there he was.
Lu Jinghao sat a few feet away from me, his laptop open beside a steaming cup of coffee, his sleeves rolled to his elbows as usual. His tie was discarded somewhere known to him, and exhaustion had framed his jaw with faint shadows.
I froze, despite being exhausted, he looked so...sexy.
"Morning Rui," he greeted without looking up. His morning voice was so low that I could have sworn I felt goosebumps.
"Morning. Uh..." I cleared my throat. "Where...where am I?"
He finally glanced up, his grey eyes catching the spilling golden light from the window. "This is my place. My penthouse. You fainted again."
"I fainted??Again??" I tried scrambling my mind for the previous memory. From the glowing fabric, to my mother's voice, to...
'Well host, you tried to overcharge your space...again. It backfired on you and you ended up face planting yourself before your sweetheart. Such a smooth but embarrassing performance host.'
"Nova..." I gritted my teeth at his words. "But then, why here of all places?"
'I don't know host. You humans are weird. Perhaps temporary relocation for your emotional development?'
"You sound stupid of late. That can't be a real reason."
Lu Jinghao's brow furrowed. "Huh?"
"Nothing," I replied quickly, forcing a calm smile. "I am just... talking to myself."
He was quiet for a moment before he set his laptop aside and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Well, you were completely knocked out cold. You know I couldn't just leave you there."
"But...you could have just called in a doctor."
"I called the doctor twice. He told me that you were dehydrated and exhausted. Oh, and you have been running on too much caffeine, it felt like your body was plotting a rebellion against you."
"Hmm. I guess I am fine now."
He raised a brow. "I am not a child."
I sighed at his sarcastic response, sinking deeper into the duvet that smelled alot like him. I felt like I was about to have an orgasm just from his smell alone.
'Tsk! But you deny your attraction to him everyday.'
"None of your business Nova."
Everything smelled like him. This place looked so clean and breathtaking. For a moment, I felt like he lived above the world. Scratch that, he did.
"But...did you carry me here yourself?"
"Well, would you believe me if I said no?"
'He is lying host. He literally carried you, the full dramatic kind of carry. I speculate you might have drooled on his shirt.'
My cheeks burned at both his and Nova's words. "Uhm...you shouldn't have."
His eyes softened. "Rui, I am your boss and favorite client. But above all, I am human and you scared me. I couldn't just do nothing."
The way he said human made it sound like his reason for helping me was entirely different.
Despite that, I couldn't help but tone down the disappointment in my heart. Seems like heart expected an entirely different reason.
I sat up slowly, my fingers combing through my curled hair. It was surprisingly not tangled. "Thank you, but I must have caused you trouble."
He shook his head, smiling."Trouble? That's a small word describing you. Rui you cause storms."
His words made me laugh. "Come on now, is that a compliment?"
"I don't know but that is my observation."
As he spoke , he stood up, crossing to his simple but magnificent kitchen.
"Let me get you something to eat."
It didn't take long before he came to my side with a tray full of fruits, toast and tea...actual tea that smelled like heaven. I wanted to refuse the food but my traitorous stomach growled loudly before I could even open my mouth.
'Oh host! I see how your love is blooming beautifully! Ten out of ten for this breakfast scene.'
"Shut up Nova," I muttered at the noisy voice in my head.
Lu Jinghao set the tray on the bed.
"You should eat up. After this, you are going to explain to me why you keep on passing out. I am genuinely concerned."
I hesitated, carefully watching him. His voice didn't carry the demanding tone, rather, it carried steadiness that had silent obedience. I didn't say anything but just took a small bite of my toast, trying to buy as much time as possible.
"To answer your question, I mostly get carried away anytime I am working." I finally spoke.
"Carried away is an understatement Rui."
"But we both know that art needs energy."
"So does staying alive darling."
D.. darling?? Did he just call me darling? AAAAAAH!!!!
'Pffft!!! You look like a teenager excited over a love letter! But I am glad you finally have someone with logic around you. About damn time.'
Lu Jinghao sighed, seamlessly sinking into the armchair across from me. "You know Rui, everytime I see you, I am reminded of someone I once knew. Very brilliant and sharp but unfortunately, burned out before he got to thirty."
I paused mid bite, his words sparking some curiosity in me. "And? What happened to him?"
"He forgot creation and art doesn't mean self destruction, but unfortunately, it was too late by the time he came to the realization."
His gaze flicked to my hand and remained there. I followed his line of sight only to see the faint bruise on my wrist. It was the one that I got from the glowing fabrics that had reacted violently.
The moment I looked up, I saw his jaw tighten before he spoke.
"And that is why I won't let that happen to you."
"But you can't stop me from designing Lu Jinghao."
"And that is where you are wrong. I am not and won't ask you to stop, I am just asking you not to disappear into it."
For a long moment, silence stretched between us with a lot of unspoken things. Truth was, I wasn't used to people caring or worrying about me. Well, I'm talking about sincere care.
The last person who sincerely cared for me was my mother and even her sincere care was wrapped in layers of riddles and hidden doors.
I put the blueberry I was about to eat down, as I curled my knees up to my chest.
"Can I ask you something Lu Jinghao? Do you...do you ever feel like you were meant to do something but...you don't fully understand your mission?"
He leaned back, still observing me. "Every single day Rui."
I sighed in relief. "At least that is comforting."
"It is being human," he said. " Wanting all the answers is where we find ourselves going wrong."
I faintly smiled."I don't believe you completely. You look like you probably keep your whole life color coded Jinghao. You look like you have it all figured out."
He chuckled, his voice deep and low. "I can't even defend myself, can I?"
The laughter faded, replaced by silence once again. But this time, it was the comfortable kind of silence.
I let my eye wander and that's when I saw them. Sketches on his side table, rough sketches of my designs, all printed from all the press coverages.
He had kept all of them.
"You...you really collect my work?" I asked softly.
He didn't look embarrassed. In fact, he wore a very proud look. "Of course I do, you are a brilliant genius and I love admiring brilliance."
'Oh host. He means that he is emotionally drawn to you.'
I rolled my eyes and he questioned me half smiling. "What is it?"
"Nothing much. You have a way with your choice of words."
"But I meant it," he replied.
"Most of the times, the world tries things it doesn't understand but you? You make things that you understand, and things that feel alive."
Heh...If only this poor thing knew.
"Maybe because I see fabric...differenly."
"Maybe?" His gaze lingered, hot and steady. "I think I am not wrong when I say you see people differently. The way you design, I feel like you design listening to something else no one can hear."
My breath caught for a moment. How was he always spot on?
"Lu Jinghao." I whispered. "You are so kind and attentive towards me. Why?"
He hesitated and I saw it. The very first crack in his calm.
"Because I don't want to ever see you collapse. I think I have seen you at your worst and I won't want to see you battling that alone."
His words silenced me completely because I just wasn't used to being cared for without a price tag on my ear.
My eyes suddenly blurred as I forced myself to look down at my hands.
"But...I don't know how to slow down."
"Then let me help you. While we are at it, please promise me something."
I looked up, a bit cautious. "Promise what?"
"That you won't sacrifice yourself for art."
His words echoed in my mind, not like a silent command, but like a plea.
I really wanted to promise him. I genuinely did but...The space was my inheritance, my purpose, my secret...my...
How then could I explain all this to someone who didn't know about Nova, about the space and about my mother?
"I...I will try," I finally said.
He faintly smiled, but I could see sadness flickering in his eyes.
"Thank you. That's all I ask."
'Host, you are both showing emotional sincerity towards each other. Should I perhaps interrupt?'
"Don't," I muttered back, my voice slightly weak.
'Fine. Go ahead and have your human moment.'
I finished the tea, which was surprisingly still hot, while staring out the window. The beautiful city stretched endlessly, pulling me into a line of thoughts.
For the first time in my life, I felt seen.
Lu Jinghao stood and walked to the window, not blocking my sight, but just enough to make sure our eyes caught each other on the reflection.
"Rui, we don't need to cut some threads. We just need to tie them right."
His words sank deeper than I thought they would, but I didn't answer.
I didn't answer but just looked at him and for the first time since I met him I didn't want to run back to my studio.
I wanted to stay and breathe in his space.