Chapter 3: The Crying Neighbor
One week in Pasadena, and Kayel was learning that survival had a price tag attached to every breath.
He sat at his kitchen table, staring at the contents of his wallet spread across the scratched surface like tarot cards predicting a bleak future. Twelve dollars and forty cents. That was it. That was all that stood between him and whatever happened when the system decided he was officially broke.
The ramen supply was down to three packages. His phone had been disconnected two days ago when he couldn't make the payment. The electricity bill was due in five days, and he had about as much chance of paying it as he did of spontaneously developing the ability to fly.
"Don't think about money. Don't think about anything that might trigger—"
[WARNING: APPROACHING NEGATIVE BALANCE THRESHOLD. CURRENT BALANCE: $12.40. DEBT PENALTIES WILL ACTIVATE AT -$10.00.]
His hands trembled as he stacked the bills back in his wallet. Even the system's warnings cost him money now. He'd discovered that the hard way three days ago when he'd wondered about the weather and been charged ten cents for a "meteorological query" that told him it was sunny outside—something he could have determined by looking out the window.
Through the thin walls, he could hear Leonard's voice, muffled and morose. His neighbor had been in some kind of funk for the past few days, ever since he'd come back from what sounded like a disastrous encounter at the university cafeteria. Something about a colleague named Leslie and a rejected invitation.
"At least I'm not the only one having a terrible week."
[QUERY: $0.10]
"Shit," Kayel whispered, watching his balance drop to $12.30. Even sympathetic thoughts about his neighbor's love life were billable events.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway made him freeze. Heavy, masculine footsteps, followed by Penny's voice—brighter than usual, with that forced cheerfulness people used when they were trying too hard.
"Thanks for coming over, Kurt. I really missed you."
Kayel's stomach clenched. Kurt. He remembered Kurt from the show—Penny's on-again, off-again boyfriend who was basically the human equivalent of a participation trophy. All muscles and no substance, the kind of guy who probably thought "intellectual conversation" meant discussing protein supplements.
More footsteps. The sound of Penny's door opening and closing. Then Leonard's voice through the wall, talking to Sheldon about "the statistical improbability of reconciliation" and "clearly observable patterns of dysfunction."
"Poor Leonard. Getting front-row seats to his crush getting back together with her ex."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $12.20.
Kayel pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. This was insane. He couldn't even feel sorry for someone without getting charged for it. How was he supposed to live like this?
"Maybe I should ask the system about freelance opportunities. Or temporary work. Or—"
[QUERY: $0.10]
[QUERY: $0.10]
[QUERY: $0.10]
Each thought was a separate billable event. His mind was spiraling, and every spiral cost him another dime. Balance: $11.90.
"Stop thinking. Just stop thinking about anything."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $11.80.
"That was about thinking about not thinking. This is ridiculous."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $11.70.
"Oh, come on!"
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $11.60.
Kayel stood up abruptly, knocking over his chair. The sudden motion sent a wave of dizziness through him—probably low blood sugar from living on ramen and desperation. He needed to get out of his apartment before his own thoughts bankrupted him completely.
The hallway was empty, but he could hear voices from the stairwell. Leonard and someone else—a woman with a sharp, dismissive tone.
"—really don't see why you thought I'd be interested," the woman was saying as they came into view.
Leonard looked like someone had kicked his puppy and then explained, in great detail, why the puppy had deserved it. Walking beside him was a petite brunette in a lab coat, her expression suggesting she'd rather be literally anywhere else.
"I just thought—" Leonard began.
"That's your problem," the woman interrupted. "You thought. Maybe next time, think a little harder about whether your feelings are actually reciprocated before making assumptions."
She brushed past Kayel without a glance and disappeared down the hallway. Leonard stood there for a moment, looking like he was reconsidering every life choice that had led him to this moment.
"That must be Leslie. Poor guy just got verbally dissected."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $11.50.
Leonard noticed him standing there and managed a weak smile. "Hey, neighbor. How's the... settling in going?"
"Could be worse," Kayel said, which was technically true. He could be on fire. Or trapped in a time loop. Or—
"Stop thinking about hypothetical scenarios that are worse than your current situation."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $11.40.
Leonard nodded absently. "Yeah. Could always be worse." He paused. "You don't happen to know anything about women, do you?"
"I know they're expensive to think about, apparently."
"Not really," Kayel said aloud. "Sorry."
"Right. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat ice cream and contemplate the mathematical improbability of romantic success."
Leonard disappeared into apartment 4A, leaving Kayel alone in the hallway with his steadily diminishing bank account.
The next few hours passed in a blur of mental gymnastics as Kayel tried to navigate his apartment without thinking about anything that might cost him money. He couldn't think about food (culinary queries). He couldn't think about his job prospects (career advice). He couldn't even think about how ridiculous it was that he couldn't think about things (meta-cognitive analysis).
By evening, his balance had dropped to $2.10, and the accumulated stress of thought-policing himself was making his head pound. That's when he heard the shouting from the courtyard.
"—not about the money, Kurt! It's about the fact that you only call me when you need something!"
Penny's voice, high and strained. Kayel moved to his window and looked down to see her standing near the building entrance, gesticulating wildly at a large man in a leather jacket.
"Babe, come on," Kurt's voice drifted up. "You know you're the only girl for me."
"Until the next one comes along!"
"That's not—"
"Just go, Kurt. Just... go."
Kayel watched as Kurt shrugged, climbed onto a motorcycle, and roared away into the night. Penny stood there for a long moment, her shoulders shaking, before she turned and disappeared into the building.
A few minutes later, he heard her door slam, followed by the unmistakable sound of someone crying.
"She's really upset. I should—"
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $2.00.
"I should what? I can barely afford to think about my own problems, let alone—"
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $1.90.
The crying continued, muffled but audible through the thin walls. It was the kind of crying that came from deep disappointment rather than temporary sadness. The kind that suggested this wasn't the first time Kurt had let her down.
"Maybe I could help somehow. She helped me with the TV, and I helped her with the bookshelf. Maybe—"
[QUERY: $0.10]
[QUERY: $0.10]
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $1.60.
Kayel pressed his back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor. Every thought was costing him money he didn't have. He was approaching the debt threshold, and once he hit negative ten dollars, the system would start imposing penalties.
"What kind of penalties? Physical? Mental? Will it—"
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $1.50.
The crying from Penny's apartment grew louder, more ragged. She was really falling apart over there, and here he was, trapped by his own financial desperation, unable to even think about helping without literally paying for the privilege.
"This is insane. I'm one apartment away from someone who's clearly in pain, and I can't do anything because my brain has been monetized by some cosmic customer service system."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $1.40.
"Even righteous indignation costs money. Of course it does."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $1.30.
The crying stopped suddenly, replaced by the sound of Penny's door opening. Footsteps in the hallway. Then a soft knock on his door.
Kayel scrambled to his feet and opened it to find Penny standing there with red-rimmed eyes and mascara streaks down her cheeks. She'd changed out of her Cheesecake Factory uniform into pajamas and a robe, her blonde hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.
"Hi," she said quietly. "I'm sorry to bother you, but... do you have any tissues? I seem to have used up my entire supply."
"Of course," he said, stepping back to let her in. "Give me a second."
He found a box of tissues in his bathroom and brought them to her. She took one and dabbed at her eyes, then looked around his sparse apartment.
"God, this place is depressing," she said, then immediately looked horrified. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"
"It's fine," Kayel said. "It is pretty depressing. I haven't exactly had time to decorate."
She sat down on his bed—the only real place to sit besides the single kitchen chair—and blew her nose. "Kurt's gone again."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I knew he would. I always know he will. That's the stupid part." She looked up at him with watery eyes. "Do you ever feel like you're stuck in the same pattern over and over, making the same mistakes because you don't know how to make different ones?"
"Every day since I got here."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $1.20.
"Sometimes," he said aloud.
Penny nodded and blew her nose again. "I keep thinking I should do something different. Take a class, start a business, move somewhere else. But it all costs money, and money is..." She gestured vaguely. "You know."
"Do I ever know."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $1.10.
An idea began to form in the back of his mind—dangerous territory, since ideas definitely counted as billable thoughts. But this might be it. This might be his way out of the debt spiral.
"What kind of business?" he asked carefully.
"I don't know. Something creative. I used to make these flower headbands when I was in high school, and everyone said I should sell them. But I'd need a website, and marketing, and..." She shrugged. "It's probably a stupid idea."
"It's not stupid. It's perfect. I can build websites. The system can build websites. For a fee. A big fee. But if I can get her to pay for it..."
[QUERY: $0.10]
[QUERY: $0.10]
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $0.80.
"It's not stupid," he said, his heart starting to race. "I actually do web development. Freelance stuff. I could... I could build you a website."
Penny looked up at him with something that might have been hope. "Really? How much would something like that cost?"
"Everything. It's going to cost everything, and then some. But it might be worth it."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $0.70.
"Three hundred dollars," he said, pulling the number out of thin air. "For a full e-commerce site with payment processing, inventory management, the works."
It was probably way too much for what he was describing, but he was desperate. And Penny, apparently, was desperate too.
"Three hundred?" she repeated. "That's... actually not as bad as I thought it would be."
"Really?"
"Really. I've been saving up my tips for months, thinking about taking a business class or something. This would be way better than a class." She stood up, suddenly energized. "When could you start?"
"As soon as I can convince the system to put me in a medically induced coma so it can hijack my brain for three days."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $0.60.
"I could start right away," he said. "I'd need the payment up front, though. For the hosting and domain registration and stuff."
It was a lie, but Penny nodded like it made perfect sense. "Of course. Let me go get my checkbook."
She hurried out, leaving Kayel alone with his racing thoughts and his rapidly diminishing bank account. When she came back five minutes later, she was carrying a checkbook and wearing the first genuine smile he'd seen from her.
"Three hundred, right?" she said, already writing. "Made out to...?"
"Kayel," he said. "K-A-Y-E-L."
She tore out the check and handed it to him. "I can't believe I'm finally doing this. I've been talking about starting a business for years, but I never had the courage to actually try."
"And I've been talking about not going into debt with an AI system living in my head, but here we are."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $0.50.
After Penny left, Kayel sat on his bed and stared at the check. Three hundred dollars. It was more money than he'd seen since arriving in this universe. It was also exactly what he needed to commission a professional website from the system.
The only problem was that "enterprise-level code generation" carried a price tag that would put him deeper in debt than he'd ever been, and according to the system documentation he'd glimpsed during setup, it came with some seriously unpleasant side effects.
But what choice did he have? He was fifty cents away from hitting the debt threshold anyway. At least this way, he'd have something to show for it.
"System."
[QUERY: $0.10]
Balance: $0.40.
"I need to commission a website. Full e-commerce platform. How much?"
[ENTERPRISE CODE GENERATION: $280.00. SETUP AND OPTIMIZATION: $15.00. TOTAL: $295.00.]
"And what happens when I can't afford it?"
[DEBT-BASED COMMISSIONING AVAILABLE. PAYMENT WILL BE DEDUCTED FROM FUTURE INCOME. WARNING: TIER 1 ENTERPRISE PROCESSING REQUIRES 72-HOUR FORCED UNCONSCIOUSNESS TO PREVENT NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE.]
Kayel closed his eyes. Seventy-two hours. Three days of his life, gone. But if the system could really build what Penny needed, he'd have enough money to climb out of debt and maybe, just maybe, start building a real life in this universe.
"System," he said aloud. "Commission the website. Two hundred and ninety-five dollars. Generate a complete e-commerce platform for Penny Blossoms."
[ACCEPTED. TIER 1 PROCESSING: 72-HOUR FORCED COMA. USER PROTECTION PROTOCOLS ACTIVATED. LOCKDOWN INITIATED.]
The last thing Kayel heard was the sound of his apartment door's deadbolt turning from the inside. Then the world went black.
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