"Show me a hero, and I'll write you a tragedy".
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
"Sometimes do you ever wonder if those who saved someone at the cost of their own lives regrets it"? Canary asked Thaddeus, staring off into the distance.
Thaddeus was taken back by this question from Canary. He and Thomas had agreed to the marriage of her and Agustin he thought this might perk Canary back up to her usual self or the self that others had told him about but she was quiet. Quiet and calm like a lake.
"What are your thoughts"? Thaddeus said, setting down his book. "The maids whisper I hear them". Canary said. "Saying that if it were them they would regret it". "Do you regret it?". Thaddeus asked. "No". Canary said calmly and blunt. "Even with all the scars I don't regret it".
"What thoughts are you having these days"? Thaddeus asked. Canary finally looked at Thaddeus. Then a sudden revelation hit Thaddeus that maybe the quiet and calm Canary that he was seeing in front of him was the true Canary that the bubbly one of before was just a sort of show. "That you have to have a sort of personality to attract people to you in this sort of society". Canary said. "My mother and Amara haven't visited or written to me". Canary said. "i had a thought before marrying Agustin that I would marry Stellan Wolf and maybe my mother might be pleased with me that she might adore me". "That Amara would show some kind of warmth to me finally even though I would save her regardless if she didn't like me or not". Canary said. "I was wrong, nothing would have changed even if I took a knife for Amara or whether I would've chosen to marry an old man for my mother".
"I thought so. A people pleaser aren't you". Thaddeus said. "I guess you could say". Canary said. "I was actually very quiet growing up among my grandparents and uncle Lumus". "The bubbly personality didn't come until I had to live with my parents and soon I realized that I was trying to please those around me so I wouldn't be lonely ". "I love the quiet and not having to talk much". Thaddeus nodded. "I as well, is this why you choose Duke Abarca"? Thaddeus asked.
"I choose for two reasons no one else will marry me and because Agustin talks so much that I rarely have to say anything". Canary answered. "You are quite comfortable with the young man". Thaddeus smirked. Canary nodded. "I think after my near death experience I've decided to just be myself". Canary said. "And that's being an introvert". Thaddeus said
"Hmm not so maybe antisocial" Canary joked. "Socially awkward is a better term". Thaddeus said. "The maids call me a hero". Canary said. "I don't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing". "Do you feel like a hero"? Thaddeus asked. Canary shook her head. "Saving someone I think that's the right thing to do rather than to be called a hero". Canary answered. "Besides, heroes don't have the scars I have. Heroes are well liked and have happy endings".
"I shall tell you a story," Thaddeus said. "Care to listen"? Canary nodded her head and scooted closer toThaddeus to listen to his story.
In the days of old there was a man and a woman. The man and the woman loved each other dearly and intensively. She was a princess and he was named a hero due to his heroic works. Fighting his way to become someone worthy to marry the princess. But there he tried to please the king for his daughter hand. The more was demanded of him and soon even his beloved began to demand more of him.
No one could see that the hero was breaking down more and more due to the burdens cast upon him. But he just wanted to please the king and the princess not knowing nothing would ever please them. He would never get the princesses hand and soon her love for him faded also. And soon the hero faded away also and the memories and the deeds that he had done for his beloved faded away also.
"That wasn't a very good story". Canary said. "It isn't meant to be". Thaddeus said. "It is a tragedy and a warning for people pleasers". "No matter how hard you shall choose to please others it will never be enough". "They will never accept or thank you for your giving". Thaddeus said.
"Be yourself and love those who love you". Canary nodded. "Do you know much about duke Abarca's family"? Canary asked. "I knew his father Arley was a very nice man and had a tragic ending". Thaddeus said "His wife I didn't know much about, I only ever saw Arley with Thomas".
Canary nodded and again there was this silence between them a comfort of silence that Canary had only gotten with her grandparents and somewhat Lumus. Lumus liked to talk a lot when he was excited about something or a new hobby and for some reason he always liked sharing those things with Canary. But she enjoyed it. Both the silence and the somewhat close nosy conversations.
She wondered why she and Thaddeus had grown so close only unpin months of meeting him. That overthought he had told stories of being there at her birth and moments after why he didn't come around in the later years. "Why did you stop coming to visit"? Canary asked. "Ah". Thaddeus sighed. "It was simply time to move on and for me to go and handle my own feit". Thaddeus said.
"All the way in the countryside"? Canary said, raising an eyebrow. "Aren't you the older brother shouldn't you have gotten the title of Marquis over my father"? Canary asked. "Yes I should have". Thaddeus grinned and his eyes sort of stared off at something in the distance. "After your birth my father thought me mad". Thaddeus grinned. "Mad"?! Canary said both confused and shocked. "Yes but that is a story for another day". Thaddeus said, patting Canary's head.
"How could grandfather think of someone as smart as you mad"? Canary said. Thaddeus shrugged. "I had quite a lot of theories, some of business and some of personal reasons and my father thought grief had overtaken me because of my theories so he took away the marquis title and gave it to Thomas". "I was not mad with grief nor was I in mourning. The mourning week had already passed as crazy as my theories and thoughts are. The theories I had presented to him were quite tame in my eyes". Thaddeus said.
"Do you regret showing him your theories"? Canary asked . "No I didn't want to be the Marquis anyways I'd rather stay in my book and the business over in the countryside is the best place to do that". Thaddeus said, smiling at the book in his lap. "Most of the new business venture comes from these books I read". Thaddeus said. "Thomas was meant to be the Marquis ; he listened to ideals that I got from reading these books and put the action into a plan. I'm more of a researcher than I am with executing the plan". Thaddeus said.
"Were you ever able to see if your theories were true"? Canary asked. Thaddeus paused for a minute and stared at Canary. She could not read the expression on Thaddeus's face or what thoughts were going through his head at the moment. It was the first time seeing this on Thaddeus for Thaddeus just like her seemed to bear their thoughts in their eyes. But at this very moment Thaddeus concealed his. Maybe not a concealment but perhaps an emotion Canary could not understand. The emotion of a parent and she was not a parent she didn't know the depth of regular emotions and the same emotion but that of a parent.
So she could not understand the thought in Thaddeus' eyes. He chuckled and opened his book back leaving Canary dry and desperate for the meaning behind his chuckle. As odd as Thaddeus was, every move and action he made seemed to have a meaning or answer behind it and more and more Canary began to notice it. "What is it? Why chuckle"? Canary said, shaking Thaddeus. "Some of them I have solved a long time ago and one theory I have recently solved upon reuniting with you Everleigh". Thaddeus answered.
"Well that is even more confusing than your chuckling". Canary sulked. "One day I shall reveal all to you little bird". Thaddeus said, still immersed in his book. "Little bird,Everligh,Carry so many nicknames for one person". Canary said, peeking over his shoulder at the book he was reading.
"Not sulking anymore my dear"? Thaddeus asked. Canary shook her head and continued to read the book with Thaddeus. "I shall let you borrow this so you can read from the beginning".